Wow

[Murph4865 597]

Things sure do changed once they get here to the states starting to regret doing this journey the true one is now showing itself, after not seeing each other for 2.5 yrs you would seem to think you would be happy to finally be in the arms of your SO but wow.  Not even 3 weeks yet and already wants to find a job instead of being together for awhile and enjoy a new land. No huggy no kissy nothing. Does even have SS card yet and things are changing drastically.

[PaulaCJohnny 712]

30 minutes ago, Murph4865 said:

Things sure do changed once they get here to the states starting to regret doing this journey the true one is now showing itself, after not seeing each other for 2.5 yrs you would seem to think you would be happy to finally be in the arms of your SO but wow.  Not even 3 weeks yet and already wants to find a job instead of being together for awhile and enjoy a new land. No huggy no kissy nothing. Does even have SS card yet and things are changing drastically.

Just remember that she is from a different background.

Maybe couples therapy can help if a normal communication is not working.

 

And your “things do change once THEY get here to the States” assumption is really negative about immigrates in general. She is not everybody and I can’t see anything bad in her decision. She is a hard worker and maybe she, like me, never had too much free time and associates with being lazy. I can’t be 3 weeks not working. I totally understand her.

 

She is doing a great thing showing you that she wants to work and not be depending  on you but the only thing you can see is that she don’t want to “enjoy” more free time… there is a really problem in understanding the other people side. 

 

And if you regret just because of that WOW to you. 

Edited August 21, 2021 by PaulaCJohnny

[brightfuture78 118]

This isn't the first time I've seen you create a thread declaring you want to send your fiance back to the province like a defective product. Last time it was over a misunderstanding beyond her control and when you learned the truth, you didn't seem the least bit remorseful about your initial reaction. If you're so quick to call things off every time things aren't playing out like you think they should, you're probably making her feel insecure, which is making her anxious to find some stability that doesn't directly depend on you - hence the job search. 

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

1 hour ago, PaulaCJohnny said:

Just remember that she is from a different background.

Maybe couples therapy can help if a normal communication is not working.

 

And your “things do change once THEY get here to the States” assumption is really negative about immigrates in general. She is not everybody and I can’t see anything bad in her decision. She is a hard worker and maybe she, like me, never had too much free time and associates with being lazy. I can’t be 3 weeks not working. I totally understand her.

 

She is doing a great thing showing you that she wants to work and not be depending  on you but the only thing you can see is that she don’t want to “enjoy” more free time… there is a really problem in understanding the other people side. 

 

And if you regret just because of that WOW to you. 

I picked up on that as well. Just wow. Although based on previous posts I’m not too surprised. Poor girl doesn’t realize what she is getting into.
There are plenty of lazy Americans who would love to stay at your home and not work if that’s what you wanted- you didn’t need to find a young pretty girl abroad. Sheesh. I can’t believe someone would actually complain about a spouse wanting to work.

Edited August 21, 2021 by Luckycuds

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

1 minute ago, brightfuture78 said:

This isn't the first time I've seen you create a thread declaring you want to send your fiance back to the province like a defective product. Last time it was over a misunderstanding beyond her control and when you learned the truth, you didn't seem the least bit remorseful about your initial reaction. If you're so quick to call things off every time things aren't playing out like you think they should, you're probably making her feel insecure, which is making her anxious to find some stability that doesn't directly depend on you - hence the job search. 

So poor girl moved half way around the world to live in an abusive situation? I wish she was here to understand this is not normal.

[P0907 127]

Reading your post history and how critical you've been about her, I won't lie and say I didn't see this coming...

Edited August 21, 2021 by P0907

[P0907 127]

2 hours ago, Murph4865 said:

the true one is now showing itself

Itself? Yikes.

[RO_AH 1,615]

4 hours ago, Murph4865 said:

Things sure do changed once they get here to the states starting to regret doing this journey the true one is now showing itself, after not seeing each other for 2.5 yrs you would seem to think you would be happy to finally be in the arms of your SO but wow.  Not even 3 weeks yet and already wants to find a job instead of being together for awhile and enjoy a new land. No huggy no kissy nothing. Does even have SS card yet and things are changing drastically.

It's probably one of the hardest things in the world to leave everything and everyone you know and move someplace that you know nothing about. There will be an adjustment time. Remember that you are all that she has, just try to be supportive and understanding and hope that everything works out. Communication will be the key even though that is something that us guys are not good at.

[Murph4865 597]

5 hours ago, PaulaCJohnny said:

Just remember that she is from a different background.

Maybe couples therapy can help if a normal communication is not working.

 

And your “things do change once THEY get here to the States” assumption is really negative about immigrates in general. She is not everybody and I can’t see anything bad in her decision. She is a hard worker and maybe she, like me, never had too much free time and associates with being lazy. I can’t be 3 weeks not working. I totally understand her.

 

She is doing a great thing showing you that she wants to work and not be depending  on you but the only thing you can see is that she don’t want to “enjoy” more free time… there is a really problem in understanding the other people side. 

 

And if you regret just because of that WOW to you. 

She has never worked a day in her life, but there are other personal factors involved also. The bedroom style ones

[Murph4865 597]

4 hours ago, brightfuture78 said:

This isn't the first time I've seen you create a thread declaring you want to send your fiance back to the province like a defective product. Last time it was over a misunderstanding beyond her control and when you learned the truth, you didn't seem the least bit remorseful about your initial reaction. If you're so quick to call things off every time things aren't playing out like you think they should, you're probably making her feel insecure, which is making her anxious to find some stability that doesn't directly depend on you - hence the job search. 

This is not about job stuff this one is about intimacy has flat said no nothing at all, do you put out for your SO

[Murph4865 597]

4 hours ago, Luckycuds said:

I picked up on that as well. Just wow. Although based on previous posts I’m not too surprised. Poor girl doesn’t realize what she is getting into.
There are plenty of lazy Americans who would love to stay at your home and not work if that’s what you wanted- you didn’t need to find a young pretty girl abroad. Sheesh. I can’t believe someone would actually complain about a spouse wanting to work.

Intimacy is the deal nothing at all flat disgust her

[Murph4865 597]

I TOLD HER TO GO TO WORK THAT IS NOT IT, i will flat out say this she Hates sex does not want intimacy

[Lemonslice 4,555]

Couple therapy, yesterday?

[MarJhi 919]

Does she know you are posting personal details about her online?

 

How does she feel about you telling strangers details about her and her "intimacy" likes or dislikes?

 

Could it be that you are a different person than she thought you were and she is turned off by that?

 

Did you ever consider that the problem may be with you and not her?

[Adventine 3,187]

You two need marital counseling ASAP. Certain issues are best discussed in private with a professional counselor. After all the time and effort you've both put into the immigration process, it's a shame to throw that all away just because you have disagreements about intimacy.

 

On another thread about scams in the Philippines, you posted that you think that might be happening in your marriage. That lack of trust in your wife is something you also need to address with professional counseling.

 

She's been in the US only a few weeks. It's stressful and overwhelming to move to a different country. That could be another reason for her not being interested in intimacy. Probably, the way you respond to her is likely contributing to the stress. This is where a professional counselor can really help - identifying the actions you are BOTH doing that are undermining the marriage.

 

Ranting here on VJ about your private marital problems might make you feel good in the short term, but I don't think it's going to help either of you in the long run. Especially when your wife finds out you're sharing these intimate details to internet strangers.

 

Edited August 21, 2021 by Adventine