Communication Issues

[JeanneAdil 6,202]

Your timeline shows you applied in June and got NOA2 in August

why the stress

some go thru more than a year to get the NOA2 notice

you need a lot more patience to go thru this

and you need to not take any of the frustration out on each other

this is a time of "what is suppose to be the honeymoon period "  by definiton 

The honeymoon period tends to last anywhere between 6 months and a year. The relationship still feels fresh and exciting, and you're constantly learning new things about each other and having first experiences together. 

 

So,  take this time to talk of romance and forget the immigration except for the things needed to do

if you can't last (married in May) for 5 months without agreeing,  you have more than immigration issues

sorry, to be blunt but our visa process took 6 years and we didn't argue as we needed to work to make it

you need to pull it together and make this process work 

Good luck

Edited September 30, 2019 by JeanneAdil

[Mamuu 9]

20 minutes ago, Sea Leslie said:

Thanks so much, I will take in all of your recommendations. One of his stressors now involves employment. He recently lost his job and he said that this is a difficult time for him right now, But I think I will start taking about how to express our emotions more. 

Thanks, we are at the beginning stages of the NVC process. Our I-130 was approved last Friday.

Hold on there..Its a tiresome journey..it needs you both to be strong..We are there also..

[portorusa 431]

Dream together. For us it means talking on the phone or video about what our “normal life” in USA gonna be like. My French husband also has problems with his current employment in France, it’s seasonal and sporadic. We are at NVC stage. Hope he will move here in December. And we talk about what jobs he may have here. Lots of openings for all kind of ages (we both are in a pre-retirement stage) especially entry positions and part-time. It reassures him as he explores the websites of companies in Arizona to apply. Also, he speaks English well but never studied it properly. We are talking about ESL classes, too.

We talk about vacations in our “normal life”, places in Arizona and USA we gonna go and see, things we gonna do, etc. We are both happy after “doing dreams” like those together. For us it’s like making plans. Maybe talks like that will be therapeutical for you, too?

[Sea Leslie 428]

53 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

Your timeline shows you applied in June and got NOA2 in August

why the stress

some go thru more than a year to get the NOA2 notice

you need a lot more patience to go thru this

and you need to not take any of the frustration out on each other

this is a time of "what is suppose to be the honeymoon period "  by definiton 

The honeymoon period tends to last anywhere between 6 months and a year. The relationship still feels fresh and exciting, and you're constantly learning new things about each other and having first experiences together. 

 

So,  take this time to talk of romance and forget the immigration except for the things needed to do

if you can't last (married in May) for 5 months without agreeing,  you have more than immigration issues

sorry, to be blunt but our visa process took 6 years and we didn't argue as we needed to work to make it

you need to pull it together and make this process work 

Good luck

Thanks for the reminder, and I am hearing the same thing for others here. I need to be patient and focus on other things. I am so focused on this process that I forgot about the relationship. 

[Sea Leslie 428]

54 minutes ago, Mamuu said:

Hold on there..Its a tiresome journey..it needs you both to be strong..We are there also..

Yes, I plan on sharing my emotions with him and hopefully there will be more understanding between the both of us,

[njde1988 8]

For me..    I just keep my eye on the prize.  I am truly blessed to have met an amazing woman that affords me the chance to have a second chance at an amazing life.  Look at it as a team effort and I always remember how lucky I am to live in amazing country that allows me to invite her to come and be with me.   

[Sea Leslie 428]

11 minutes ago, njde1988 said:

For me..    I just keep my eye on the prize.  I am truly blessed to have met an amazing woman that affords me the chance to have a second chance at an amazing life.  Look at it as a team effort and I always remember how lucky I am to live in amazing country that allows me to invite her to come and be with me.   

Yes, that is a wonderful way to looks at it. I am taking everyone's advice and I plan on speaking with him later after work.

[TBoneTX 43,059]

2 hours ago, Sea Leslie said:

I will definitely find something to keep myself occupied

Three words:  Violent Physical Exercise.

[TBoneTX 43,059]

Start making plans (life, immigration process) that will help him hit the ground running upon passing POE.

 

-- Activities, events, classes for societal integration.

 

-- Prepare drafts of wills, medical/general powers of attorney, and similar documents, to be completed/notarized immediately after entry.  These documents are absolutely crucial for "life" and are excellent evidence when removing conditions on the green card.

 

-- Plan day & weekend trips around the area.

 

-- Start his wardrobe by visiting garage/estate sales & thrift shops.  Mrs. T-B.-to-be was amazed by these concepts and soon had her closet very full with designer clothes.  We even planned weekend trips around visiting these sales & shops.

 

A lot of positive stuff to occupy yourself with.

[Sea Leslie 428]

2 hours ago, portorusa said:

Dream together. For us it means talking on the phone or video about what our “normal life” in USA gonna be like. My French husband also has problems with his current employment in France, it’s seasonal and sporadic. We are at NVC stage. Hope he will move here in December. And we talk about what jobs he may have here. Lots of openings for all kind of ages (we both are in a pre-retirement stage) especially entry positions and part-time. It reassures him as he explores the websites of companies in Arizona to apply. Also, he speaks English well but never studied it properly. We are talking about ESL classes, too.

We talk about vacations in our “normal life”, places in Arizona and USA we gonna go and see, things we gonna do, etc. We are both happy after “doing dreams” like those together. For us it’s like making plans. Maybe talks like that will be therapeutical for you, too?

This a great idea, I feel like we don't have a routine as far as plans. This is the perfect time to start doing those things. We have not discussed employment or things he would like to do once he gets here. We have both just been focused on discussing everyday topics, nothing to too deep. We need to work on that.

23 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Start making plans (life, immigration process) that will help him hit the ground running upon passing POE.

 

-- Activities, events, classes for societal integration.

 

-- Prepare drafts of wills, medical/general powers of attorney, and similar documents, to be completed/notarized immediately after entry.  These documents are absolutely crucial for "life" and are excellent evidence when removing conditions on the green card.

 

-- Plan day & weekend trips around the area.

 

-- Start his wardrobe by visiting garage/estate sales & thrift shops.  Mrs. T-B.-to-be was amazed by these concepts and soon had her closet very full with designer clothes.  We even planned weekend trips around visiting these sales & shops.

 

A lot of positive stuff to occupy yourself with.

Thanks, I love all of these ideas. Do you think I should start a binder with all of this information? 

[Sea Leslie 428]

1 hour ago, njde1988 said:

For me..    I just keep my eye on the prize.  I am truly blessed to have met an amazing woman that affords me the chance to have a second chance at an amazing life.  Look at it as a team effort and I always remember how lucky I am to live in amazing country that allows me to invite her to come and be with me.   

You are right, I need to remain focused. I think I got lost with process and forgot why I did all of this. 

[Sea Leslie 428]

31 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Three words:  Violent Physical Exercise.

Do you know that I started doing that and stopped for some reason. I think I am going to start working out in the mornings again. 

[TBoneTX 43,059]

11 minutes ago, Sea Leslie said:

Do you think I should start a binder with all of this information? 

Great idea!  Maybe also have some local & area maps in a section where he can make his choice from among several options.

9 minutes ago, Sea Leslie said:

I am going to start working out in the mornings again. 

Good for you.  (My own philosophy is, "If I'm healthy enough to exercise, I'm healthy enough NOT to."  )

[Jenny17655 283]

Well I belong to an amazing group of women who have husbands and fiancees in Jamaica and I can tell you for certain that all of our relationships have been stressed to an extent by the process.  And once he arrives in the US please expect an adjustment period of 6 months to a year or more!  My husband was great upon arrival, then had a bout of depression after not being able to work or contribute to the household while waiting for EAD (One issue you won't have to deal with as your spouse will be coming in with a green card!)  We had a few ups and downs getting used to living together and blending the family.  It is definitely normal just remain focused and committed and you should come out the other end just fine.  It gets better!!!! 

[Sea Leslie 428]

38 minutes ago, Jenny17655 said:

Well I belong to an amazing group of women who have husbands and fiancees in Jamaica and I can tell you for certain that all of our relationships have been stressed to an extent by the process.  And once he arrives in the US please expect an adjustment period of 6 months to a year or more!  My husband was great upon arrival, then had a bout of depression after not being able to work or contribute to the household while waiting for EAD (One issue you won't have to deal with as your spouse will be coming in with a green card!)  We had a few ups and downs getting used to living together and blending the family.  It is definitely normal just remain focused and committed and you should come out the other end just fine.  It gets better!!!! 

WOW! I have not even thought about the adjustment time when he gets here. I have a lot to learn. This is my first time doing this, and I cannot imagine what it would feel like living in an unknown country will little to no support except from a spouse. His entire family is in JA and so is mine but I have adjusted to that over the years.