My Experience and Anxiety

[Harry M 37]

It's been nine months since I've moved to the US on a K-1, eight months since I got married and nearly two months since my green card got approved. I've managed to get everything else set up, thanks in large part to my wonderful wife, bank accounts, secured credit card, Kentucky Driver's License and many other things which I now feel completely like an ordinary citizen now.

 

The job hunt has been good, have had three interviews and two job offers (one I turned down because the role wasn't what I expected). I'm about to accept one today, unless the other one offers me a role and I may take that one instead. After many months sitting at home in our apartment I think I've become too comfortable with home life. As much as I want to get back to work, it's also gonna be feel weird being employed once again. I left my previous job almost exactly a year ago, that way I'd have time to do all the stuff I wanted to do in the UK before I left.

 

I've seen people on here talk about how difficult the waiting around was for them, and it has been for me as well at times. I didn't have my car for the first few months so I was trapped in our apartment, we live in a complex and getting out wasn't so easy on foot. And when I did there isn't a lot around here that I hadn't already done from previous visits. But now that I'm close to going back to work and replenishing my shrinking savings that I made before coming over here, a wave of anxiety is coming over me. Part of the reason I rejected the first job offer was because I didn't feel confident doing that job (even though they saw something in me that I didn't lol).

 

Was this normal for anyone else? What advice would you give for going back to work, in a different country no less, after such a long period?

[Ben&Zian 4,398]

Why the long wait between getting your EAD and now going to go back to work with the green card? Could have been out working for months now by your timeline. 

 

Advice wise, my husband didn't work for about 5-6 months total so when he finally was able to, and he was anxious to get back out working, at first was a struggle as he didn't have a car so I drove him back and forth along with my own work, so was extremely hectic. As for you, just go in open minded, relaxed, and don't stress over what others do. Depending on your line of work, just focus and you'll slowly adjust to how things work at that company, so go in open minded.

[kiwihurricane15 34]

12 minutes ago, Harry M said:

It's been nine months since I've moved to the US on a K-1, eight months since I got married and nearly two months since my green card got approved. I've managed to get everything else set up, thanks in large part to my wonderful wife, bank accounts, secured credit card, Kentucky Driver's License and many other things which I now feel completely like an ordinary citizen now.

 

The job hunt has been good, have had three interviews and two job offers (one I turned down because the role wasn't what I expected). I'm about to accept one today, unless the other one offers me a role and I may take that one instead. After many months sitting at home in our apartment I think I've become too comfortable with home life. As much as I want to get back to work, it's also gonna be feel weird being employed once again. I left my previous job almost exactly a year ago, that way I'd have time to do all the stuff I wanted to do in the UK before I left.

 

I've seen people on here talk about how difficult the waiting around was for them, and it has been for me as well at times. I didn't have my car for the first few months so I was trapped in our apartment, we live in a complex and getting out wasn't so easy on foot. And when I did there isn't a lot around here that I hadn't already done from previous visits. But now that I'm close to going back to work and replenishing my shrinking savings that I made before coming over here, a wave of anxiety is coming over me. Part of the reason I rejected the first job offer was because I didn't feel confident doing that job (even though they saw something in me that I didn't lol).

 

Was this normal for anyone else? What advice would you give for going back to work, in a different country no less, after such a long period?

Dude, I complete understand how you feel having been in your shoes.

 

It was 7 months for me between leaving me previous job, getting married, filing, getting my EAD and then my first job. I was in the mindset where I was ready to start working again even though I really did enjoy being on my schedule and hitting the gym everyday. I had it in my mind I would do anything to just earn an income but the first job I took, really wasn't me...at all. I was there for maybe 7 weeks total and through that time started getting anxious and not sleeping and generally just feeling completely under valued. I went from a 6 figure salary back home to barely more than minimum wage here and questioned why I was doing it at all. Luckily, a couple of other opportunities came around by Christmas and I was able to get into work that was more satisfying for me and have settled in a little more. But I went through a couple of months of real internal hell, questioning if I wanted to be here at all and if I would ever settle into life fully out of vacation mode. One thing you will notice here though that I picked up straight away, is the work ethic is very different here to UK and also where I'm from NZ. I've noticed the work/life balance is harder to achieve in some professions, I worked less hours back home for more pay so that's been a real adjustment too. My advice is just stick to keeping in your lane or doing something that makes you happy as this will make the transition easier. All the best.

[Harry M 37]

16 minutes ago, Ben&Zian said:

Why the long wait between getting your EAD and now going to go back to work with the green card? Could have been out working for months now by your timeline. 

 

Advice wise, my husband didn't work for about 5-6 months total so when he finally was able to, and he was anxious to get back out working, at first was a struggle as he didn't have a car so I drove him back and forth along with my own work, so was extremely hectic. As for you, just go in open minded, relaxed, and don't stress over what others do. Depending on your line of work, just focus and you'll slowly adjust to how things work at that company, so go in open minded.

When we did the AOS, we sent off for the EAD at the same time. AOS got delayed a little as we needed to send more evidence, but nevertheless I had my interview for that in April and got approval the day after. As for the EAD, after I sent it off I didn't hear anything again. My AOS got approved first so it negated that. I got a notification saying it was voided because of my green card.

Edited June 13, 2019 by Harry M

[jskibo 588]

Congrats and welcome to Kentucky 😀

[Russ&Caro 1,549]

My wife experienced similar emotions and reservations on entering the US job market. The first job she accepted she was over qualified for but it allowed her to gain confidence. Three months later she was offered a job at the local hospital more in line with her true qualifications and she's been happy in this job for over 2 years now. I don't see any fault in your decision making. Good luck.

[little immigrant 801]

Hi there I think having anxiety is completely normal. But you can't worry about something that hasn't even happened yet. What if everything goes totally well?  

 

You'll do well on your first job. You'll see. Then when regularity comes back into your life, the anxiety will go away.

[USS_Voyager 1,974]

54 minutes ago, Harry M said:

Part of the reason I rejected the first job offer was because I didn't feel confident doing that job (even though they saw something in me that I didn't lol).

Sounds like a little but of "impostor syndrome"  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

 You will be fine. 

 

It is normal to have a little anxiety after not being working for a while and now going back to the workforce, especially in a different country. However, your advantage is you have that sexy UK accent ... lol

 

Here's a blog I read: https://www.askamanager.org/

It has very useful advice about anything work related in the US. It can give you an insight into how US work culture is vs. the UK, also some hilarious and some horrible stories, very entertaining.

 

Welcome back to the workforce!

 

[CMJuilland 485]

I will second what others here have said.  You will adjust back to being employed just fine, especially because you were used to working outside of the house before, i.e. when you were still in the UK. 

When I was offered my first job here, I was nervous as well; I had never worked anywhere else but Switzerland before, but being employed again, and in my field of work at that, has been giving me a new sense of purpose here.  Meeting new people and making new connections has been great and helpful, and I wouldn't ever want to go back to where I was before my work permit got approved. 

 

I hope that helps, and I wish you all the best for your first day at the new job.  You'll see you'll settle in quickly.  Good luck! 

[TBoneTX 47,534]

Butterflies in your stomach?  Get them to fly in formation.  Translate your nervousness into excitement.

[Daphne . 2,068]

15 hours ago, Russ&Caro said:

My wife experienced similar emotions and reservations on entering the US job market. The first job she accepted she was over qualified for but it allowed her to gain confidence. Three months later she was offered a job at the local hospital more in line with her true qualifications and she's been happy in this job for over 2 years now. I don't see any fault in your decision making. Good luck.

This!

I hope to move in about 2 months and luckily I will be able to work straight away but I also intend to apply for  jobs at an entry level (eventhough I have 10+ years experience in my field of work) just for the sheer fact that when it comes to the work attitude that is so different that I will need to get used to it. I just don't feel confident enough to 'pick up where I left off' in The Netherlands.

 

To OP, I wish you all the best and I think that a lot of people can relate to your anxiety ❤️

[S&J_ 247]

I feel this so much!

 

I was a full time GCSE English teacher back home and worked Primark at the weekends, so when I first came here I was so used to working 7 days a week that doing nothing for a while and waiting for my GC, EAD/AP was actually welcome. Got my GC a week ago and I've applied for jobs and even get nervous when it says 'submitted' because I know it's going to be so different. I was born and brought up in Nigeria with a Filipino mum and then moved to England-- and then lived in several countries. So I have a lot of experience in different continents and cultures but it's still nerve-wracking! But once you start and get used to it, you probably won't even think about it anymore. Wishing you all the best in your new job! 

[The_Empyrean 733]

Welcome back to the job market! lol

Yeah its normal. New place, new coworkers, new country, new people, new rules. But you'll get used to it. Relax, don't stress, don't take anything personal anyone says, and enjoy! Good luck!

[Cryssiekins 976]

Completely normal!  I was home for the first 6 months, and it was pretty boring after the first 2 weeks.  When I was able to look for a job, I had such a hard time getting call backs, even though the first sentence of any message and my cover letter stated “I am authorized to work in the US” as I imagine some just cast my resume aside seeing only Canadian work history.  Within a month I did manage, with the help of a sympathetic recruiter, find a position in my field.  Was super excited for about 10 minutes before anxiety about returning to the workforce set in.  I’m Canadian and had a career as a paralegal in Ontario for years, but things are different in the US, so I was worried I was underqualified.  I wasn’t.  I’m onto my second US job, and it’s a dream.  There have been challenges because laws and regulations are slightly different here so I’ve had to do a lot of reading and self-learning, but it’s not insurmountable.  

 

You will be fine.  Give yourself a couple weeks to get back into the swing of a regular day job, and then a few months to acclimate to your new position, and then it’s just like being at home again, except now you get to live with your spouse and not have sad goodbyes  

[Cathi 5,849]

22 hours ago, Ben&Zian said:

Why the long wait between getting your EAD and now going to go back to work with the green card? Could have been out working for months now by your timeline. 

 

Advice wise, my husband didn't work for about 5-6 months total so when he finally was able to, and he was anxious to get back out working, at first was a struggle as he didn't have a car so I drove him back and forth along with my own work, so was extremely hectic. As for you, just go in open minded, relaxed, and don't stress over what others do. Depending on your line of work, just focus and you'll slowly adjust to how things work at that company, so go in open minded.

Not everyone gets a job right away. It took my husband 5 months to find a job when he arrived and it was at Walmart. He's an engineer and it took him a full year to find a job in his field and that job was as an intern even though he had over 5 years experience in his home country. Many US employers do not and will not hire anyone with no US experience.