June 2017 I-129F Filers, Part IV

[George & Roth 1,485]

On 10/6/2019 at 11:42 AM, Lotts said:

Hello everyone.

 

Wow, not been here since May. Jeez. I'm sorry. 

Things are still mega poo. Every day is a walk on eggshells. I'm pretty sure he is a sociopath so my emotions mean nothing nor recognised.

My wedding anniversary was spent being abandoned in a Walmart after he stormed off out when I questioned if he was having a sugar crash during a grocery shop. My birthday was pretty much ignored and did nothing... Not even a card.

I'm still an emotional punchbag and get grief for not being happy or "loving" towards him. My life is "pointless and meaningless". 🙄 I feel empty and like I have nothing now. Apart from Ed. I'm so glad I brought my cat. She's definitely kept me sane.

 

So, I'm looking to go back. I have no reason to stay here anymore. It's terrible really. His family even sat down with me and have noticed how ####### things have been with his behaviour towards me and everyone. This has been a huge waste of time and money for me.

 

My question is, what do I do with regards to divorce/if I'm eligible for annulment? 

Can I return to the USA for vacations later on?

 

I'm super happy for all of you guys though. Really happy that you guys have found your happiness. 💜

Sorry to hear all of that, I’m not sure on annulment but I don’t think it’s easy to do especially after being married a while. Have you filed for the green card already by I-485? I worry about your status here, if you never filed for the appropriate adjustment of status I worry that you may be banned for some years from re-entry. I’m no expert but just expressing my concerns. 
 

@Naes , Do we know someone that can better answer?

[Naes 12,205]

1 hour ago, George & Roth said:

Sorry to hear all of that, I’m not sure on annulment but I don’t think it’s easy to do especially after being married a while. Have you filed for the green card already by I-485? I worry about your status here, if you never filed for the appropriate adjustment of status I worry that you may be banned for some years from re-entry. I’m no expert but just expressing my concerns. 
 

@Naes , Do we know someone that can better answer?

@Lotts I’m so sorry it escalated to something like this at all... 

 

For I-485, yes as it hasn’t been filed she will be considered overstay unfortunately. So that may (I’m not sure of timelines right now) get a ban, most likely will. I don’t believe you can use Esra after this. You can apply and try to explain for a B2 but they’re infamous on not listening to people at embassy when it comes to tourist visas from countries with Esta.

 

for divorce questions try to post here cause people have way more information to help about it, and can even explain what can happen for not filing AOS and what are your options etc:

 

https://www.visajourney.com/forums/forum/127-effects-of-major-family-changes-on-immigration-benefits/

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

On ‎10‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 11:42 AM, Lotts said:

Hello everyone.

 

Wow, not been here since May. Jeez. I'm sorry. 

Things are still mega poo. Every day is a walk on eggshells. I'm pretty sure he is a sociopath so my emotions mean nothing nor recognised.

My wedding anniversary was spent being abandoned in a Walmart after he stormed off out when I questioned if he was having a sugar crash during a grocery shop. My birthday was pretty much ignored and did nothing... Not even a card.

I'm still an emotional punchbag and get grief for not being happy or "loving" towards him. My life is "pointless and meaningless". 🙄 I feel empty and like I have nothing now. Apart from Ed. I'm so glad I brought my cat. She's definitely kept me sane.

 

So, I'm looking to go back. I have no reason to stay here anymore. It's terrible really. His family even sat down with me and have noticed how ####### things have been with his behaviour towards me and everyone. This has been a huge waste of time and money for me.

 

My question is, what do I do with regards to divorce/if I'm eligible for annulment? 

Can I return to the USA for vacations later on?

 

I'm super happy for all of you guys though. Really happy that you guys have found your happiness. 💜

Oh Lotts. I'm so glad to see an update from you, but so heartbroken to see how things have been for you. You have been on my mind since your prior updates. <3

 

I do not blame you for wanting to go back. I think I would do the same in your situation. What a horrible person he is to allow you to come here, and expend everything you did to get here and uproot your life, just to behave the way he has. It's disgusting. I feel for you and if I were any closer, would offer some more substantial help than just some words on the internet.

 

I wish I had actual answers for your incredibly valid questions - hopefully some more experienced folks will stop by and chime in. I do hope you get out of this situation well enough, and get back to a much more happy, normal life soon. XOXO

[Lotts 1,433]

The past 2 days have been awful. I won't go into details, but I really don't want to be here anymore. My passport ran out, he's constantly telling me to go home and other bombardments of how terrible I am, my looks/existence etc., when ever I stand up for myself amongst the waves of cr@p I get thrown my way... He knows I have $0 and will do nothing to get me out of here. He didn't bother with the AoS as he kept spending the filing money. Twice. 

I'm really stuck. I have no help options from folk back in the UK. I sold everything and paid everything to be here. I have nothing left to sell.

I get the shrugs and "I told you so". I'm really ashamed of myself for getting into this situation, not listening to people and putting so much faith into him.

I'm really envious but happy you guys have all found your happily ever after, I truly am.

I hope none of you have to go through this agony, betrayal, and (almost) years of unhappiness.

 

All drama from day 1 of this journey. Should have chucked the towel in then 😂

[designguy 1,179]

19 minutes ago, Lotts said:

The past 2 days have been awful. I won't go into details, but I really don't want to be here anymore. My passport ran out, he's constantly telling me to go home and other bombardments of how terrible I am, my looks/existence etc., when ever I stand up for myself amongst the waves of cr@p I get thrown my way... He knows I have $0 and will do nothing to get me out of here. He didn't bother with the AoS as he kept spending the filing money. Twice. 

I'm really stuck. I have no help options from folk back in the UK. I sold everything and paid everything to be here. I have nothing left to sell.

I get the shrugs and "I told you so". I'm really ashamed of myself for getting into this situation, not listening to people and putting so much faith into him.

I'm really envious but happy you guys have all found your happily ever after, I truly am.

I hope none of you have to go through this agony, betrayal, and (almost) years of unhappiness.

 

All drama from day 1 of this journey. Should have chucked the towel in then 😂

So sorry to hear about your situation. As a last resort you should reach out to the nearest consulate/embassy and inquire about any repatriation options they may have. If you wish to go back to the UK

[Lotts 1,433]

3 minutes ago, designguy said:

So sorry to hear about your situation. As a last resort you should reach out to the nearest consulate/embassy and inquire about any repatriation options they may have. If you wish to go back to the UK

I looked into this already and I'm not eligible for any loans etc..

 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

I am far from well versed on the subject, but for those who are - is the VAWA route at all an option for @Lotts? I know she hasn't suggested physical domestic violence or abuse, but good Lord - intentionally refusing to file/pay for AOS and leaving her with literally nothing, being degrading to her verbally and I'm assuming emotionally/mentally as well....does any of that count for abuse, under VAWA standards? Does that route have resources for the beneficiary to get back to their home country and away from the petitioner who is perpetuating her misery?

 

There has to be help for people in these instances. It's easy to say "just call home and have your family help", but some people have no family to call, or family that is in the position to help. Not everyone has money laying around, or access to credit, to help on the spot like that.

[George & Roth 1,485]

1 hour ago, Paul & Mallory said:

I am far from well versed on the subject, but for those who are - is the VAWA route at all an option for @Lotts? I know she hasn't suggested physical domestic violence or abuse, but good Lord - intentionally refusing to file/pay for AOS and leaving her with literally nothing, being degrading to her verbally and I'm assuming emotionally/mentally as well....does any of that count for abuse, under VAWA standards? Does that route have resources for the beneficiary to get back to their home country and away from the petitioner who is perpetuating her misery?

 

There has to be help for people in these instances. It's easy to say "just call home and have your family help", but some people have no family to call, or family that is in the position to help. Not everyone has money laying around, or access to credit, to help on the spot like that.

I was thinking the same thing, verbal or emotional abuse for VAWA. 

http://asianjournalusa.com/emotional-abuse-is-covered-by-violence-against-women-act-p10376-159.htm

 

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/proving-abuse-vawa-case.html

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

11 minutes ago, George & Roth said:

I was thinking the same thing, verbal or emotional abuse for VAWA. 

http://asianjournalusa.com/emotional-abuse-is-covered-by-violence-against-women-act-p10376-159.htm

 

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/proving-abuse-vawa-case.html

Great resources - thank you!!

 

The petitioner ought to be held accountable somehow in these instances. It's baffling to me how easy it is for the USC to bring someone over here - VOUCH for them and sign an affidavit promising to remain responsible for them and get their status adjusted - and then backpedal like that. And it's no skin off their nose.

[Lotts 1,433]

6 minutes ago, Paul & Mallory said:

Great resources - thank you!!

 

The petitioner ought to be held accountable somehow in these instances. It's baffling to me how easy it is for the USC to bring someone over here - VOUCH for them and sign an affidavit promising to remain responsible for them and get their status adjusted - and then backpedal like that. And it's no skin off their nose.

He was quick enough to get me to sign tax forms so he could get a larger chunk back. That money was supposed to go on the AoS. That money was spent by him on I don't know what. 🙄😒 But I'm in the wrong and all the names under the sun when I ask why etc.. Didn't want to sort out the damn AoS quickly though. 😒

 

Honestly, I just want to go home now. I don't want to file the VAWA thing. I don't have the money nor do I have the supporting evidence. I might see if someone in this household will vouch for me, but I'm unsure as they are his family.

I don't have any financial support, I don't have much of a support system or any places to go here or in the UK. It is cheaper to get a passport than it is to get an emergency travel document! I'm not really entitled to help from the embassy as I am in no danger, no police reports have been made, I have a sponsor, and the passport renewal would be quicker and easier. 

 

I don't have a reason to stay. I came here for him and that went pear... No... Gourd shaped!

I don't want to be a burden to the system, for it to be awkward with the family here, or to get progressively more sick.

 

I want to go home and just do everything from there. Get myself set up again, maybe file the VAWA so I can have the 10 year travel ban lifted with the evidence of mental health therapy (I honestly think I'm going to need it!) and leaving the country due to the poor treatment.

[George & Roth 1,485]

Some thoughts:

1) Consider filing for work authorization if possible. Not sure if any issue filling the form with you being here long without the AOS yet, but I think you are the only signer on the I-765 so don't need him to do anything. You need $410 to file it. That would allow you to work and save for a flight https://www.uscis.gov/i-765

 

2) Get a ####### credit card to buy the tickets back

 

3) Contact loan providers

 

 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

1 hour ago, Lotts said:

He was quick enough to get me to sign tax forms so he could get a larger chunk back. That money was supposed to go on the AoS. That money was spent by him on I don't know what. 🙄😒 But I'm in the wrong and all the names under the sun when I ask why etc.. Didn't want to sort out the damn AoS quickly though. 😒

 

Honestly, I just want to go home now. I don't want to file the VAWA thing. I don't have the money nor do I have the supporting evidence. I might see if someone in this household will vouch for me, but I'm unsure as they are his family.

I don't have any financial support, I don't have much of a support system or any places to go here or in the UK. It is cheaper to get a passport than it is to get an emergency travel document! I'm not really entitled to help from the embassy as I am in no danger, no police reports have been made, I have a sponsor, and the passport renewal would be quicker and easier. 

 

I don't have a reason to stay. I came here for him and that went pear... No... Gourd shaped!

I don't want to be a burden to the system, for it to be awkward with the family here, or to get progressively more sick.

 

I want to go home and just do everything from there. Get myself set up again, maybe file the VAWA so I can have the 10 year travel ban lifted with the evidence of mental health therapy (I honestly think I'm going to need it!) and leaving the country due to the poor treatment.

You mentioned a couple times being able to talk to his family, or some of them at least, throughout this - is there anyone you think could help you, at least guide you somewhere that can help you, find funds to get back home? Like George&Roth said - a credit card, even. Paying it off/back would still be at the bottom of my list, if it were me. One good (bad?) thing about the states is most creditors will give a credit card of some kind to pretty much anyone, credit worthiness aside. My husband was able to get one (for emergency purposes) before he'd even started getting paid at his new job here. It's definitely a last-resort option, I think.

 

If following through with VAWA helps with your chances of not remaining banned in the future, I think it's definitely worth it. Regardless, it could be worth it just to have the claim on file somehow somewhere, I don't know.

 

Ugh, I just hate this for you so much.

[Oksmanoks 165]

On 10/15/2019 at 10:43 AM, Lotts said:

He was quick enough to get me to sign tax forms so he could get a larger chunk back. That money was supposed to go on the AoS. That money was spent by him on I don't know what. 🙄😒 But I'm in the wrong and all the names under the sun when I ask why etc.. Didn't want to sort out the damn AoS quickly though. 😒

 

Honestly, I just want to go home now. I don't want to file the VAWA thing. I don't have the money nor do I have the supporting evidence. I might see if someone in this household will vouch for me, but I'm unsure as they are his family.

I don't have any financial support, I don't have much of a support system or any places to go here or in the UK. It is cheaper to get a passport than it is to get an emergency travel document! I'm not really entitled to help from the embassy as I am in no danger, no police reports have been made, I have a sponsor, and the passport renewal would be quicker and easier. 

 

I don't have a reason to stay. I came here for him and that went pear... No... Gourd shaped!

I don't want to be a burden to the system, for it to be awkward with the family here, or to get progressively more sick.

 

I want to go home and just do everything from there. Get myself set up again, maybe file the VAWA so I can have the 10 year travel ban lifted with the evidence of mental health therapy (I honestly think I'm going to need it!) and leaving the country due to the poor treatment.

Hi Lotts,

 

I'm sorry to hear about what's been happening to you. And just like @Paul & Mallory, I would love to help if i live close by. I think their suggestion about filing for VAWA should be your top priority. They can help you for sure. Based from your story, it seems like he's keeping you "captive. By not giving you the right to be able to file for AOS is already a red flag to me. He vouched for you to come here and all, he should file your AOS. Anyhow, I know you don't have any physical evidence of abuse but you can make one. Start writing everything on a journal. If you can document everything that's been happening to you, they will believe you. Also, you can screenshot the things that you have told us on here. That can also be a decent evidence. Abuse is a very serious crime no matter what kind (physical, emotional, verbal, etc.). I know it's not gonna be easy but there are a lot of resources out there that will help you. Just don't lose hope and keep your faith. 

 

PS. I'm glad your cat's been helping you feel better. Sending *big hugs* to you as well. 

[dlsmal01 222]

On 10/15/2019 at 11:43 AM, Lotts said:

He was quick enough to get me to sign tax forms so he could get a larger chunk back. That money was supposed to go on the AoS. That money was spent by him on I don't know what. 🙄😒 But I'm in the wrong and all the names under the sun when I ask why etc.. Didn't want to sort out the damn AoS quickly though. 😒

 

Honestly, I just want to go home now. I don't want to file the VAWA thing. I don't have the money nor do I have the supporting evidence. I might see if someone in this household will vouch for me, but I'm unsure as they are his family.

I don't have any financial support, I don't have much of a support system or any places to go here or in the UK. It is cheaper to get a passport than it is to get an emergency travel document! I'm not really entitled to help from the embassy as I am in no danger, no police reports have been made, I have a sponsor, and the passport renewal would be quicker and easier. 

 

I don't have a reason to stay. I came here for him and that went pear... No... Gourd shaped!

I don't want to be a burden to the system, for it to be awkward with the family here, or to get progressively more sick.

 

I want to go home and just do everything from there. Get myself set up again, maybe file the VAWA so I can have the 10 year travel ban lifted with the evidence of mental health therapy (I honestly think I'm going to need it!) and leaving the country due to the poor treatment.

So sad things went bad for you, i hope your situation gets better. 

[George & Roth 1,485]

On 10/15/2019 at 12:43 PM, Lotts said:

He was quick enough to get me to sign tax forms so he could get a larger chunk back. That money was supposed to go on the AoS. That money was spent by him on I don't know what. 🙄😒 But I'm in the wrong and all the names under the sun when I ask why etc.. Didn't want to sort out the damn AoS quickly though. 😒

 

Honestly, I just want to go home now. I don't want to file the VAWA thing. I don't have the money nor do I have the supporting evidence. I might see if someone in this household will vouch for me, but I'm unsure as they are his family.

I don't have any financial support, I don't have much of a support system or any places to go here or in the UK. It is cheaper to get a passport than it is to get an emergency travel document! I'm not really entitled to help from the embassy as I am in no danger, no police reports have been made, I have a sponsor, and the passport renewal would be quicker and easier. 

 

I don't have a reason to stay. I came here for him and that went pear... No... Gourd shaped!

I don't want to be a burden to the system, for it to be awkward with the family here, or to get progressively more sick.

 

I want to go home and just do everything from there. Get myself set up again, maybe file the VAWA so I can have the 10 year travel ban lifted with the evidence of mental health therapy (I honestly think I'm going to need it!) and leaving the country due to the poor treatment.

Hope you’ve made it back, I read you were getting a passport sorted.