Can she stay in US even if her husband wants her to go home

[amaada 18]

4 minutes ago, Californiansunset said:

You can let her stay with a good conscience as long as she has a pending case (the husband hasn't pulled the support yet meaning he has cancelled the I-864 or divorced her). 

Oh okay, so supposing she’s staying with me then as soon as he cancels and AOS denied she has to go home right away. So it will be fine on my end?

Edited January 10, 2018 by amaada
Me** not them

[Californiansunset 332]

Just now, amaada said:

Oh okay, so supposing she’s staying with them then as soon as he cancels and AOS denied she has to go home right away. So it will be fine on my end?

Yes once the husband cancels the AOS or divorces her, she doesn't have a pending case anymore and thus is considered out of status. Usually you have 30 days then to leave the country. After that I would feel uncomfortable aiding an illegal immigrant in staying in the country. Before that you're fine in giving her housing and comfort until hopefully the husband changes his mind or she has to leave the country.  

[amaada 18]

1 minute ago, Californiansunset said:

Yes once the husband cancels the AOS or divorces her, she doesn't have a pending case anymore and thus is considered out of status. Usually you have 30 days then to leave the country. After that I would feel uncomfortable aiding an illegal immigrant in staying in the country. Before that you're fine in giving her housing and comfort until hopefully the husband changes his mind or she has to leave the country.  

Got it! At least I’m sure now I wont be breaking the law by letting her stay with me. Really appreciate your help.

[Scandi 3,975]

4 hours ago, amaada said:

Yes her AOS was already approved. She has only been here for 6months.

 

True, it was fast. Just like what happened to my AOS.

 

Her timeline is almost similar to mine.

 

She did her biometrics first week of December like mine.

You're very confusing. I assume her AOS application was accepted. Not approved. Two very different things. 

[caliliving 606]

She is NOT approved..BUT applied.. BUT he also will pull it.

who knows what he will do. if he pulls it she needs to LEAVE asap!!! if he doesnt pull it, she may get LUCKY and not have an interview.

 

 

[amaada 18]

1 minute ago, Scandi said:

You're very confusing. I assume her AOS application was accepted. Not approved. Two very different things. 

 

Yeah sorry about that. But I already clarified myself. What I meant was her AOS application was accepted.

[JohnAna05823 330]

Really sucks for her!  Filipinas don't believe in divorce and if she met another guy be a lot harder to get here again.  This guy sounds awful!  Money or not he wanted her and she wanted him.  If everything is paid then nothing lost at this point.  She'd likely even work to stay with him.  

[amaada 18]

5 minutes ago, JohnAna05823 said:

Really sucks for her!  Filipinas don't believe in divorce and if she met another guy be a lot harder to get here again.  This guy sounds awful!  Money or not he wanted her and she wanted him.  If everything is paid then nothing lost at this point.  She'd likely even work to stay with him.  

She’s a widow and she really thought she has found her new love. She doesn’t want divorce (you’re right) because she has already decided to marry him and that’s it for her.

 

[JFH 12,189]

7 hours ago, amaada said:

She got here in US through K1 Visa they got married applied for AOS now she’s just waiting for her EAD and Greencard to be sent via mail.

 

Now the husband wants her to go home. She wants to stay because she left everything in her home country for the sake of the husband and it will really be hard for her to start over. She enetered the marriage in good faith, but the guy was very unstable. He wants her to go home just because of his own anxiety. (The guy was divorced once and his ex wife(for 40yrs) took a bunch of money because of divorce).. The woman right now is really nice and is boggled why the sudden shift of treatment towards her. She wants to stay with him but the guys wants to send her home.

 

Questions:

 

1. She is a bit old and  left everything in her home country for this marriage. She wants to stay in US but greencard didnt arrive yet. She already processed AOS. Is it okay if she stays in US with her woman friend? The guy bought her a ticket to go home.

 

2. Will they still be married if she goes home and not go back for over 100 days? Since it’s up to the guy when to ask her to go back to US again.

 

3. What’s the difference between getting divorced in US before she leaves  for home vs staying in her home country for so longthen their marriage will not be in effect (since the husband will try to make it appear she left him).

 

 

Would she tolerate this kind of behavior from a man in her home town? Or is she tolerating him because there is the prized green card, citizenship and the chance to bring her family here at stake? 

 

Yet again someone posting for a friend. Had the person in question posted themselves we could have saved at least 20 posts where we were trying to work out if her AOS was merely accepted or actually approved. I suggest your friend creates her own account so that she can give accurate information and we don't have your random guesses to work with. 

[caliliving 606]

4 hours ago, amaada said:

Got it! At least I’m sure now I wont be breaking the law by letting her stay with me. Really appreciate your help.

you wont get in trouble for harboring a fugitive FYI! but she can ONLY get a greencard thru this spouse. so if it doesnt work out she cant petition through anyone else!

[KCMO 84]

2 hours ago, JFH said:

Would she tolerate this kind of behavior from a man in her home town? Or is she tolerating him because there is the prized green card, citizenship and the chance to bring her family here at stake? 

 

Yet again someone posting for a friend. Had the person in question posted themselves we could have saved at least 20 posts where we were trying to work out if her AOS was merely accepted or actually approved. I suggest your friend creates her own account so that she can give accurate information and we don't have your random guesses to work with. 

I think the cultural differences playout big time. In usa its easy to get married and divorce frequently. But in other countries marriages are often a lifetime thing. Lots of trust and invested emotion and family in there. Huge cultural value difference when it comes marriage . For us citizen spouse it may seem like normal change but for other country spouse this may be a change that can turn everything in their life upside down. 

[amaada 18]

2 hours ago, JFH said:

Would she tolerate this kind of behavior from a man in her home town? Or is she tolerating him because there is the prized green card, citizenship and the chance to bring her family here at stake? 

 

Yet again someone posting for a friend. Had the person in question posted themselves we could have saved at least 20 posts where we were trying to work out if her AOS was merely accepted or actually approved. I suggest your friend creates her own account so that she can give accurate information and we don't have your random guesses to work with. 

I’m sorry for the confusion.

 

To be honest, I came here to be able to clear up the confusions I have myself regarding her situation because I want to help her in any way that I can. 

 

She is an older woman, and sincerely requested my help - I am simply trying to help my friend with a very difficult situation. I am asking her what she knows as the questions here are asked of me - but in many cases she doesn’t know the answers herself.

 

To answer your question re: her “putting up with this man” in her hometown - that is completely irrelevant, in my view. If it were happening in her hometown she would have her family and friends readily available. As it stands now, her support network is on the other side of the globe. Along with the job she quit and the home she left in pursuit of a happy marriage and tranquil life she was (mis)led to believe she would have here.

 

If you insist on belittling someone trying to make sense of a foreign place with laws she has little help in understanding please do not reply further. My friend is a decent woman that married for love, but like anyone else in her situation watching the promise of their relationship deteriorate... She is now being forced to consider what the best course or action is for a life without her partner. It is a sad and difficult problem for her to deal with - but it has been forced upon her.

 

I will continue trying to help her understand her rights, responsibilites, options, and considerations while she deals with her new reality. I appreciate anyone that can help me - and do not have time or tolerance for disparaging or underhanded remarks meant to trivialize my friend’s situation or to call in to question the genuineness of my friend’s intentions. Thank you.

[amaada 18]

4 minutes ago, KCMO said:

I think the cultural differences playout big time. In usa its easy to get married and divorce frequently. But in other countries marriages are often a lifetime thing. Lots of trust and invested emotion and family in there. Huge cultural value difference when it comes marriage . For us citizen spouse it may seem like normal change but for other country spouse this may be a change that can turn everything in their life upside down. 

Absolutely this. Her life is turned upside down at the mere thought of divorce.

[KCMO 84]

11 minutes ago, amaada said:

Absolutely this. Her life is turned upside down at the mere thought of divorce.

Yes. people often think ,'oh its USA ! one  is here for green card' etc. i think its a kind of arrogance to think that everyone is who comes here trusting that a marriage may work out comes for just that. its not so important when you compare it to what a person might have left behind to come here . Their  life before moving. which may be a  huge change. job, family and  in asian countries there is something called honor when you marry and go with your husband etc etc. its hard to describe. its not all about money or green card. when one's marriage does not work out and they have to go back not only they have to reorganize their entire life financially like getting back to where they were before but also face family and friends who may or may not understand divorce. Again. irrespective of all this if one is better off finding comfort and support from family then one must go back. but if they have a legal help to stay here and face the challenge then they should take that opporunity as well. After all they are not some pawns of a chess board to be shifted from one place to another based on someone else's moods. i guess thats why they Divorce waiver etc in place but in this case unfortunately its too early 

Edited January 11, 2018 by KCMO

[Boiler 43,588]

Does sound she would be much better off at home surrounded by her family and support network.