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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
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hello all pls I hope someone can help me

i have been married to my wife for 15 months now. yesterday she told me that she wanted a divorce. i love my wife from the depths of my heart and i have been begging her in the name of God just to give our love a chance. i came to the US 4 months ago and am here on 2 yr green card. my wife told me that after the divorce I could remove conditions without her. i love her and i never pictured life separated from her. we have alot of arguments and she says that she does not want to spend her life unhappy and feels that marrying me was a mistake. what can i do? i want this to work, but i don't know what to do. if she divorces me i have no one i can turn to at home. help me pls.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: India
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Wow that's terrible... she should at least give it a serious chance. 4 months is definitely still in the adjustment phase. Would she be willing to try counseling? That's honestly the only thing I can suggest, but she has to want to put effort in too. My husband and I get into stupid arguments all the time, but only a fool gets married thinking there won't be "angry times".

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China
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your wife was right about the immigration stuff.

i say divorce, and move on with your life - you have status now, you will have status later, no need to trip back to nigeria.

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

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Sorry to hear your bad news. It takes two to make a relationship work and unfortunately it doesn't sound like your wife is on board.

I agree with Darnell, you have your GC and won't need to leave, you can proceed with ROC on your own. Good luck.

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Filed: Timeline

Please brothers and sisters in the forum can we thread softly whenever someone post such a delicate issues as divorce! First of all the OP seemed to know his wife better and has admitted the wife love peace... Now, non seemed to care about the pain the wife must have been through in their marriage... Therefore, set aside divorce and turn over a new leaf if you were the one causing your wife unecessary heartache... But if she's the one who would not allow peace to reign, I doubt she will be asking for a divorce in the first place... Let's put on our thinking cap... Are you posting this to seek an evidence to show you're innocent? Well, remember where you're coming from and marriage involve two great people who are there to make life worth living for the other, and not otherwise ok... I'll not take side, sorry!!!

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First have you two ever lived together before????????? It never fails to amaze me how two people from two different, totally different cultures, get married and then want a divorce sooo quickly thinking the relationship will require no work.

You basically are still going through culture shock. You need time to adjust to your life here. Because of this adjustment, which is normal, she may assume you are unhappy with her although it is not the case. You both have to learn eachothers habits, patterns, body language, how each person deals with stress, what makes you both happy, sad, sleeping positions and many more.

Honey moon stage is over. But this does not mean that your relationship is too. It is just like any friendship there will be ups and downs. Why was she originally attracted to you? Think about this and use it to your advantage. Take an interest in her. Teach her your language. Find some you and her communication time with tea and conversate about work. Dont let her duck and run easily when you uprooted your life to be with her. This will make it harder for other people from your country to come.

This is a natural stage. Many IR couples go through because it is a learning process.

First have you two ever lived together before????????? It never fails to amaze me how two people from two different, totally different cultures, get married and then want a divorce sooo quickly thinking the relationship will require no work.

You basically are still going through culture shock. You need time to adjust to your life here. Because of this adjustment, which is normal, she may assume you are unhappy with her although it is not the case. You both have to learn eachothers habits, patterns, body language, how each person deals with stress, what makes you both happy, sad, sleeping positions and many more.

Honey moon stage is over. But this does not mean that your relationship is too. It is just like any friendship there will be ups and downs. Why was she originally attracted to you? Think about this and use it to your advantage. Take an interest in her. Teach her your language. Find some you and her communication time with tea and conversate about work. Dont let her duck and run easily when you uprooted your life to be with her. This will make it harder for other people from your country to come.

This is a natural stage. Many IR couples go through because it is a learning process.

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hello all pls I hope someone can help me

i have been married to my wife for 15 months now. yesterday she told me that she wanted a divorce. i love my wife from the depths of my heart and i have been begging her in the name of God just to give our love a chance. i came to the US 4 months ago and am here on 2 yr green card. my wife told me that after the divorce I could remove conditions without her. i love her and i never pictured life separated from her. we have alot of arguments and she says that she does not want to spend her life unhappy and feels that marrying me was a mistake. what can i do? i want this to work, but i don't know what to do. if she divorces me i have no one i can turn to at home. help me pls.

If you really love her like you say you do, you will find out why she is so unhappy and go to great lengths to try and reverse it. Simply put, marriages can almost always be saved if the husband is willing to do what the wife wants.

Probably there were some misunderstandings and miscommunications maybe due to cultural differences. Find out what you misunderstood and what messages you completely missed altogether. It wouldn't hurt to talk to her best friends to ask their advice, and follow it.

In case you do ultimately divorce, you'll probably be alright on your own. Be grateful your English is good. You can get a job. It could be worse. You could get kicked out with no family, no friends, and no English.

USCIS: 307 days from NOA1 to NOA2 (no RFE's)

15JUN2012 USC married in Côte d'Ivoire
13AUG2012 I-130 sent by FedEx to Chicago
15AUG2012 I-130 packet delivered to mailroom, per FedEx.com
18AUG2012 NOA1, rcvd SMS & email saying case is routed to Vermont Service Center, later rcvd by snail mail
21AUG2012 the date on next I-797C received only by snail mail, says petition transferred to Lee's Summit,MO
28AUG2012 "touch" (website shows case was updated)
03OCT2012 the date casefile was sent to Atlanta, per phone call with ISO
01FEB2013 infopass at Atlanta, casefile has not even been assigned to anyone yet!

21JUN2013 NOA2, email received! USCIS website is updated! No SMS was received.

Letter rcvd later by snail mail from NBC, Lee's Summit, MO; however, I know file was adjudicated in Atlanta.

NVC:

11JUL2013 the date NVC says they received our file

19JUL2013 called and got Case # and IIN #, gave email addresses

22JUL2013 received DS-3032 and AOS invoice by email, mailed DS-3032

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
Timeline

#######? What the wife wants? What if her wants are unrealistic?

Really??? Been married a while have you??? OP listen in a marriage a true marriage it is give and take,. Sometime you have to give sometime she has to give but right now if she is not in a spot to give for whatever reason then you will have to . Your coming from 2 totally different worlds you have totally different experiences., you havent been living together for that long there is an adjustment period. If you love her dont just let it go talk dont argue dont fight talk... Listen to her figure out what is causing the fights. Try to fix it before you give up... But if that does not work you will be okay it will take time but hearts heal. Just dont rush into anything and dont let anyone tell you to throw away your marriage no one on this board will be there with you when your marriage ends or if your marriage grows. this is between you and your wife... Your in my prayers... Take care and know that everything happens for a reason and everything works out the way it should.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Guyana
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#######? What the wife wants? What if her wants are unrealistic?

well I understand what you are saying and I agree. I think AFTER trying your absolute bestest and it still NOT working out then what you gonna do? Some ppl are just not meant to be together. sometimes its best to go separate ways.

4027-dil-ko-choo-jaye-gi-shayari-collection-heart_91.gif?d=1205939495

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
Timeline

Even you admit that you both are having "too many" arguments. What is too many". siblings will argue, couples will argue but there is a level that becomes a little too much for others to take. what are these arguments based on?. You said you just arrived 4 months ago. what is your living arrangements like? considering the economy, do you have a job yet? if not how have you been handling your unemployment situation so far and what has your role in the house been like with chores. do you help out or does she go out to make the money to pay the bills and come home to have you demand or insist she serve you like she would have back in Nigeria.No one is asking you to become the maid just because you do not have a job yet but a litle help especially when she is givings signs that she needs it will go a long way. Nigerian culture makes it a little hard for some men to adjust when they arrive here and see themselves in the "subordinate" role. if the man can understand that this is only temporary and work towards establishing a mutually beneficial union for himself and the wife while he is adjusting, the better for them both.

She bore tha cost and pains of petitioning for you and enduring the long wait of USCIS/NVC so she must have felt something. Pamper her and bring her to a state of wanting to discuss your current situation and you guys openly admit where you are wrong and apologize with a sincere desire to change where needed. Then hope for the best.

IF after all said and done, you still find yourself alone, then it is not the end of the world.

Edited by ndu26

GOD has been WONDERFUL!!!
CR-1 (for Husband):
09/15/2012: Got Married
09/26/2012: Mailed I-130 from Nigeria( delayed by customs)
USCIS stage ( 66 days)
10/12/2012: NOA 1
12/17/2012: NOA 2 (case was transferred to NYC office 11/27/12)
NVC stage ( 20 days)
01/08/2013: Case # and IIN assigned ( file arrived NVC mail room 12/20/12)
01/09/2013: AOS invoiced and paid, DS-3032 emailed and mailed.
01/16/2013: IV invoiced &paid. AOS & IV mailed in one package(arrived 01/18).

01/28/2013: Case complete!!!
04/19/2013: Interview; APPROVED!!!!!
05/13/2013: POE; JFK


N-400: (3 months and 12 days)
Filed N-400 : 2011-06-17
Interview: 2011-09-27
Oath Ceremony: 2011-09-30

IR-5 for Mom Entire process took 5 months exactly
USCIS (22days)

mailed I-130 : 2011-09-30
NOA 1: 2011-10-03 (text & email)
NOA 2: 2011-10-25 (text and email)
NVC: (19 days)
Case entered and # assigned: 2011-11-18
NVC Case COMPLETED: 2011-12-07 ( 43 days from NOA 2 and 65 days from NOA 1)
Interview Date(Lagos): 2012-01- 23
Mom was late for interview
New Interview date: 2012-02-29 : VISA APPROVED

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Denmark
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Even you admit that you both are having "too many" arguments. What is too many". siblings will argue, couples will argue but there is a level that becomes a little too much for others to take. what are these arguments based on?. You said you just arrived 4 months ago. what is your living arrangements like? considering the economy, do you have a job yet? if not how have you been handling your unemployment situation so far and what has your role in the house been like with chores. do you help out or does she go out to make the money to pay the bills and come home to have you demand or insist she serve you like she would have back in Nigeria.No one is asking you to become the maid just because you do not have a job yet but a litle help especially when she is givings signs that she needs it will go a long way. Nigerian culture makes it a little hard for some men to adjust when they arrive here and see themselves in the "subordinate" role. if the man can understand that this is only temporary and work towards establishing a mutually beneficial union for himself and the wife while he is adjusting, the better for them both.

She bore tha cost and pains of petitioning for you and enduring the long wait of USCIS/NVC so she must have felt something. Pamper her and bring her to a state of wanting to discuss your current situation and you guys openly admit where you are wrong and apologize with a sincere desire to change where needed. Then hope for the best.

IF after all said and done, you still find yourself alone, then it is not the end of the world.

:thumbs:

As someone who moved to my husband's country, I can tell you that we fought over cultural differences. Things are more difficult than they would be in a relationship in which two people are from the same culture. It took a lot of us both going immensely out of our way to make each other happy to get back to a good place. In a marriage you need to really be thinking about the other person first. You can fix this marriage if you try very very hard, but you must figure out what is wrong first. Are you not cleaning up after yourself? Are you taking time to involve yourself in each other's interests? Are you doing things together for fun? Do you still have some romance? Do you bring her flowers or her favorite food when she is sad? Have you involved her in your family affairs? Does she include you in her family? Try to make you happy when you are sad and learn more about your culture? :luv:

3/2/18  E-filed N-400 under 5 year rule

3/26/18 Biometrics

7/2019-12/2019 (Yes, 16- 21 months) Estimated time to interview MSP office.

 

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see, its true that culture n language can make the difference in a relation, but there is common language in all over the world

knows as "LANGUAGE OF LOVE", so in longterm relationship its better to arrange "TABLE TALK" n pay attention n listen to eachother, i hope u will get the good result. BEST WISHES FOR UR FUTURE LIFE".

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

~~~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits, from IR-1 / CR-1 Spouse Visa Process & Procedures as this is not a CR-1 discussion~~~~

Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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