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Peter555

Should I help possibly cheating wife?

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Filed: Timeline

Well,

i got married with a girl who did some striptease on the side for money while i met her. I guess the lust and her looks attracted me enough to marry and have a son with her. I guess you can say that i did everything wrong and made the wrong decisions in this relationship, so there is no need to tell me that. we got married without really getting to know each other and now we are always fighting. Mostly because she is controlling, in-secured, extremely jealous, and i assume the stripping prevented her from doing any hard work so we even fight about her cleaning up or cooking. If a girl walks in front of me i get accused of cheating, or if i watch a commercial with an attractive girl in it she starts a huge fight and will go as far as to say if i like watching that she will go watch guys at a strip club...

Anyway we both tried to leave the relationship and both stopped each other several times. If the fight happened in the US i stopped her because i dealt embarrassed and ashamed of what others would say when they found out what a lunatic i had for a wife. When it happened in her country she would stop me, i assume because economic reasons. Anyway, lately we had a big fight in her country while on vacation after i found out she had been in contact with a guys she had an intimate relationship with while stripping. I put a keylogg software in her laptop and read facebook messages with him chatting and planning to meet up and saying inappropriate words to each other, like my love, sweetheart ect.. She had a complete secret account for this. This was not the first time, last time she promised she would stop, since i knew the guy slept with her since he kept calling her when we were dating. I left her country and she stayed there to stay with her daughter, who she had when was 15 or 16, as well as with ym son. Anyway we kept in touch and sent her money for all three of them and she apologized and said she wanted to be with me ect.... She said she had deleted the account and did not meet the guy, so because of my son i took her back again.

I was about to file for removal of conditions for her, but that keylogger was still active, so i got emails of what she used the laptop for in her country. I noticed that she had made two other accounts and added the guy again. This stopped me from doing anything for her and her GC already expired which she knows about since we have been arguing about this until now since she keep denying it, because i haven't told her of the proof that i have.

HEre is the issue that i need advice on. What do you guys think i should do? help her or let her do the paperwork on her own? I am a little confused, sometimes i miss her sometimes i remember what she has pulled on me. I guess i miss her since i am now lonely at home since i spent two years with her, and because i want my son to grown up in a family. At the same time i know when we were together i was not able to show my son a lot of love since my mind was somewhere else form all the fighting. I am at a place of feeling responsible for her which is preventing me from asking her for a divorce. What do you guys think?

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
Timeline
HEre is the issue that i need advice on. What do you guys think i should do? help her or let her do the paperwork on her own? I am a little confused, sometimes i miss her sometimes i remember what she has pulled on me. I guess i miss her since i am now lonely at home since i spent two years with her, and because i want my son to grown up in a family. At the same time i know when we were together i was not able to show my son a lot of love since my mind was somewhere else form all the fighting. I am at a place of feeling responsible for her which is preventing me from asking her for a divorce. What do you guys think?

Her GC I assume was the 2 year GC? Once that card expires her status is revoked and she can be put in removal proceedings. There's not much you can do, she has to do it but even then she needs to prove some sort of hardship for why she didn't renew her card on time. Sometimes they approve them sometimes they don't.

Where is she now? In her country or in the US? If she's in her country she has no way to enter the US, her GC is dead.

She obviously doesn't love you or she wouldn't continue to cheat. I don't think this is an immigration question really, it's a relationship one. If you want to stay married to her you will need to start the visa process over again and this time she'll get a 10 year card because you're married over 2 years. if you don't want to stay married get divorced and don't worry about her immigration status BUT while your child is a USC and can come and go his mother cannot, so you might find yourself in her country a bit if you want to spend time with your son.

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Spain
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If the conditional GC is expired she cannot have the 10 years one. You have to do the process all over again. But if I were you I would be happy because you do not have to be his sponsor anymore. Also with her attitude I would do couple things: get the divorced and fight for the custody of your American son.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Egypt
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:( wow I am so sorry for you I read alot of issues in this forum and I believe the hardest is when a child is involved.And cheating is something I would never handle for one you can't trust her and without trust it's not a marriage.I wouldn't want to live like that always feeling my husband is cheating !! how can you? That's not a happy life with your soul mate is it? Wishing you the best in whatever you decide... (F)

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Filed: Timeline

Yeah she is in her country. I don't know if she actually cheated. i found those messages of her giving him her number after i elft and she says she never got together with him, so dont know what to think.

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Filed: Country: Vietnam (no flag)
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Yeah she is in her country. I don't know if she actually cheated. i found those messages of her giving him her number after i elft and she says she never got together with him, so dont know what to think.

Her 2 years conditional green card has expired, so she is no longer a green card holder. She has no legal status in the US. This means, she cannot return to the US as an LPR. As far as US immigration is concern, your wife is now a non-resident alien spouse.

Do whatever you think is best for you in the long term. Your choice is a deeply personal one. It would be wise of you to confirm whether or not she is cheating. The mere fact that your wife is hiding her contacts with another man is NEVER EVER GOOD. If nothing is going on, then she doesn't need to hid it. Can you live with a cheating wife? My personal view is that once a cheater, always a cheater. But is she a cheater?

If you want to help her immigrate back to the US, you will need to file for a new immigration visa. Are you prepared to sign the I-864 and put your financial life at risk for your wife? Or would you rather just file for divorce in your state and cut ties to her?

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Brazil
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wouldn't you be committing fraud if u were to help her keep her GC on grounds other than marriage of good faith?

I'm gonna say no on this one. 1) they did enter the marriage in good faith as far as we are aware based on what he told us. 2) he hasn't said he wants a divorce. It sounds like he's still working though all the issues and doesn't know what he wants.

Anyway, he could still help her apply with a waiver if they wanted to prove that they entered in good faith, but I don't know how that works now that she's already expired...


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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Pakistan
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Here is what I would do, if I was in your position. Get her out of my life as SOON AS POSSIBLE. This is not a healthy relationship. Certainly not a faithful one either. Donot even attempt to sponsor her. If her 2 year card has expired, count your blessings. Keep all record of the mails and facebook messages. Should things get worse or you get accussed by her at a later on stage, this stuff might be handy for you to get her removed from the US. Good Luck and sorry to know that there is a child involved that will eventually suffer from this break up.


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Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Japan
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don't help a cheater. you can find someone new who will treat you right.


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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Jordan
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it does not matter if cheated or not.because your not sure about it.even if she were chating on line with guys or meeting them in person that's does not make her a cheater,

but the big problem here that she is a sick person.....bipolar,

kind of those people is hard to live with them,you can still help her to get her GC.......that's fine..

but you better end this relationship and try to keep your son close to you.and move on.

then find the better.but this time try to chose the 1

Good luck

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
Timeline

No


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
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they say a cheater is always a cheater. Help her now, and you will commit yourself to someone who will continue cheating. Or divorce you once her 10 years GC is secured. If that's how you imagine your married life.. it's up to you to make your choice.


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