Unaware of what is really going on????

[james&olya 1,121]

I understand how the people who posted negative comments feel trust me I do. But as my counselor suggested I seemed to have gotten into a "battered woman" type syndrome, I am going to counseling, to ensure nothing like this ever happens to me again, plus I am absolutely ashamed of myself that I kept subjecting myself to this, with the false pretense I was in a "real marriage" I faced the fact it's time to get my act together, because more important than me, I have a child to raise who needs me. I have filed my divorce, paid to have the papers served, and have decided that I will go early to the office tomorrow morning and withdraw my petition, and have explained in writing the reason why.

Don't feel you need to apologize to anyone for being a kind and trusting person who was hoping for real love. We make ourselves vulnerable when we open ourselves to what we hope is a reciprocal, loving relationship. Yes, the red flags were there waving furiously but you wanted to see something different and he was clever enough to convince you he was something other than who he was. Many people do not understand just how talented some of these con artists can be. I know from my own experience what you have had to deal with. Hold your head high and understand you are the better person here. You have demonstrated love and courage and these are wonderful qualities to have!

[Golden Gate 530]

Don't feel you need to apologize to anyone for being a kind and trusting person who was hoping for real love. We make ourselves vulnerable when we open ourselves to what we hope is a reciprocal, loving relationship. Yes, the red flags were there waving furiously but you wanted to see something different and he was clever enough to convince you he was something other than who he was. Many people do not understand just how talented some of these con artists can be. I know from my own experience what you have had to deal with. Hold your head high and understand you are the better person here. You have demonstrated love and courage and these are wonderful qualities to have!

Nice post!

[Lady J 1]

Thanks all, well yesterday was his interview...I did not go with him, instead I went earlier in the morning, gave copy of the divorce papers I filed, and wrote in detail about the accident and events leading to my final decision to divorce him. In letter I wrote I did not any longer want to sponsor him or accept financial responsibility for him. I check today to find out the status of rather he was served his divorce papers, I was told he had received them yesterday morning. Just one question, would it have been better and more official if I had my statement notarized? Is there some kind of formal paperwork USCIS has you fill out to withdraw petition? Will I need to deal with them anymore?

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Thanks all, well yesterday was his interview...I did not go with him, instead I went earlier in the morning, gave copy of the divorce papers I filed, and wrote in detail about the accident and events leading to my final decision to divorce him. In letter I wrote I did not any longer want to sponsor him or accept financial responsibility for him. I check today to find out the status of rather he was served his divorce papers, I was told he had received them yesterday morning. Just one question, would it have been better and more official if I had my statement notarized? Is there some kind of formal paperwork USCIS has you fill out to withdraw petition? Will I need to deal with them anymore?

Your withdrawal letter was submitted in person. There would have been no need to have it notarized. They may contact you if they need additional information, but there's a good chance you're finished with them.

[Darnell 8,478]

did you ask to see the ICE shift supervisor, or not?

and if yes - how did that go?

[Lady J 1]

I didn't ask to see shift supervisor, the lady at desk called someone on phone, told them I was not going to be at husbands interview, told me she would place papers in his file. I was so nervous I didn't even want to cross paths with him. I also scheduled a INFOPASS appt, just in case. I want to know exactly what I'm involved with here, I didn't even know his ALien number or had any paperwork regarding his case when she asked me

[Darnell 8,478]

ok.

sorry you didn't 'take my path'.

good luck !

[Lady J 1]

I was really nervous and didn't want to risk crossing paths with him, he has been physically abusive to me in past. Im sure it would take a long while for him to go anywhere (if he even does) plus I just didn't know what to do. This is really haunting me and I feel overwhelmed and lost. It feels like nothing in that building supports a us citizen everything is geared towards the immigrant. I am having nightmares of him telling them lies and they automatically believe them. He

[Fandango 1,439]

Lady J, good luck to you. This is going to sound incredibly snarky, but it's not meant to sound that way. I normally wouldn't be this harsh, but getting in a car with a drunk driver shows a complete lack of common sense.

You need extensive counseling. You have displayed very poor judgment in many times along this path. Even look at the title of this thread....'unaware'? Not to berate you, but Ray Charles can see what was happening here.

I do agree that you're in some sort of 'battered woman' syndrome, and counseling will help you get past that so you can make wiser choices which protect you in future.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Nigerian men have in general been raised in a culture were until recently wives where property. There was no penalty for killing your wife. Men ate first and went there way, woman ate the leftovers. Many weren't personally raised with this mindset but it was common. Beating was an acceptable method of correcting your wife. I would bet your soon to be ex was raised in this kind of house. Many have gotten to the US back before 9 11 using other peoples ID's or forged documents. Once here they ply various immigration tricks to stay as long as possible, sending whatever money they are making back home so when their immigration trail of lies falls apart they are usually well off by Nigerian standards. I am happy to hear you are away from this man as he was setting a terrible example of married life for your child. Your were a tool in his plan to stay in the US for as long as possible. He will be angry that you have trown a wrench into his plans so DO NOT spend a single second alone with him. If he has something that he claims must be handled in person take another adult and meet in a public place. Consider his lawyer to be suspect of illict activity and do not meet alone in his office.

Good Luck

[mystic 11]

Wow. Ok it is obvious he married you to avoid a Deportation order. It is my understanding that marriage to a USC isn't going to stop that so his AOS will most likely be denied and a very good possiblity he is going to be facing a long term ban. Also pretty obvious that he is hiding some things from you which could be illegal activities but IMO are most likely related to another woman whether here or back in his home country.

My advice is not to walk but to run away from this situation. I don't buy the whole "too embarrassed" line. He started the whole relationship hiding things from you and it has continued this way up to the present day. This guy is going to do anything and everything to try to stay here and you will get dragged down with him. You need to think about you and your child now and get away from him. Seek out a divorce attorney or talk to someone at the local women's shelter where they can refer you to attorneys. This is a bad bad situation and you don't want to get caught up in any immigration fraud.

I believe you are correct. A marriage entered into while the illegal is under removal proceedings will not stop a deportation because it will be viewed as a fraudulent marriage meant only to stop deportation. It states this somewhere in the immigration forms that i have read through. I believe the AOS papers or removal of conditions

[bkyzico 1]

Nigerian men have in general been raised in a culture were until recently wives where property. There was no penalty for killing your wife. Men ate first and went there way, woman ate the leftovers. Many weren't personally raised with this mindset but it was common. Beating was an acceptable method of correcting your wife. I would bet your soon to be ex was raised in this kind of house. Many have gotten to the US back before 9 11 using other peoples ID's or forged documents. Once here they ply various immigration tricks to stay as long as possible, sending whatever money they are making back home so when their immigration trail of lies falls apart they are usually well off by Nigerian standards. I am happy to hear you are away from this man as he was setting a terrible example of married life for your child. Your were a tool in his plan to stay in the US for as long as possible. He will be angry that you have trown a wrench into his plans so DO NOT spend a single second alone with him. If he has something that he claims must be handled in person take another adult and meet in a public place. Consider his lawyer to be suspect of illict activity and do not meet alone in his office.

Good Luck

I beg your pardon! It is very disrespectful and disgusting of you to classify all Nigerian's men this way.If it is true then your father must be one of those who behaves in such irrational way. My father never beat my mother and I never beat my wife. Individual chooses his or her own destiny. Is it only Nigerians who enter this country through somebody's else's paper or forged documents? Based on the story,I do doubt the integrity of the man in question but for you to generalize, it's simply absurd.When issues like come up, the victim needs an advise instead of your story about how certain men of a particular country relate with their husbands. Do you want to tell me there are no wife beaters in US of other races and from other countries?

[TBoneTX 43,019]

I beg your pardon!

N or B said "Nigerian men have in general been raised..." She was also answering completely within the context of the OP's situation and thread, whereas you seem to be viewing her post in a vacuum. It's important to read accurately and interpret literally. Furthermore, what is your justification for stating "your father must be one of those who behaves in such irrational way"? An apology from you to N or B would not be inappropriate.

[Zee Bee 61]

I beg your pardon! It is very disrespectful and disgusting of you to classify all Nigerian's men this way.If it is true then your father must be one of those who behaves in such irrational way. My father never beat my mother and I never beat my wife. Individual chooses his or her own destiny. Is it only Nigerians who enter this country through somebody's else's paper or forged documents? Based on the story,I do doubt the integrity of the man in question but for you to generalize, it's simply absurd.When issues like come up, the victim needs an advise instead of your story about how certain men of a particular country relate with their husbands. Do you want to tell me there are no wife beaters in US of other races and from other countries?

NigeriaorBust is giving the OP some insight into her husband's behavior. Quite frankly, I have to agree with the comments that she made that there are some men that are raised in such a culture. I don't see where there was any classification of all Nigerians seeing as she herself is married to a Nigeria. She is giving the OP some clues as to what may be the cause of her husband's behavior.

[monab28 1]

I have to agree something is not passing the smell test here. You mentioned a child. They should be the most important factor here. Find out what's going on or run for the hills. JMO

i like the quote,i am crying,i swear. I am also very emotionally,because i decided to leave my husband ,it took me long time and i endured a lot of things,hoping every time,that it was a faze . I don't know what i'll do with my green card process,but right know ,i don't even care. Is an ending and a beginning.