Unaware of what is really going on????

[Lady J 1]

I am a US citizen who is petioning for my husbands citizenship, we got married in October 2010. We have our interview on June 30..I am really starting to grow more concerned as to why I have not seen any documents he has recieved from USCIS, only the ones I filled out when we first got married..I dont even have any clue what our case number is. We have lived together since marriage..but he also has a room he uses for his office, that he keeps mostly locked. We have had lots of problems, because i feel he has been very elusive and secretive..not to mention verbally and emotionally abusive towards me..the apartment we live in is his..but he promised to use the spare room as a room for my son..but then put lock on door after we married. I am getting really concerned here, and do not want to continue anything that will put me at risk for commiting any type of marriage fraud..because i entered this marriage thinking he loved me not as a sham.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

I am a US citizen who is petioning for my husbands citizenship, we got married in October 2010. We have our interview on June 30..I am really starting to grow more concerned as to why I have not seen any documents he has recieved from USCIS, only the ones I filled out when we first got married..I dont even have any clue what our case number is. We have lived together since marriage..but he also has a room he uses for his office, that he keeps mostly locked. We have had lots of problems, because i feel he has been very elusive and secretive..not to mention verbally and emotionally abusive towards me..the apartment we live in is his..but he promised to use the spare room as a room for my son..but then put lock on door after we married. I am getting really concerned here, and do not want to continue anything that will put me at risk for commiting any type of marriage fraud..because i entered this marriage thinking he loved me not as a sham.

We need more detail as to what is going on. Can you elaborate on what the situation has been like?

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

You cannot petition him for citizenship, that is many years down the road.

Where are you currently? ie is he living with you in the USA (if so, how did her get here?), are you living with him in Nigeria?

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

Not even the President of the United States can petition for another person's citizenship. I assume you meant that you petitioned for your husband's immigrant visa which will lead to lawful permanent residence, documented by a Green Card.

If so, and assuming you are in the US and your husband is in Africa, you mailed in your I-130 to USCIS. About 5 months later, give or take, you should have received an approval of your petition which then is forwarded to the National Visa Center (NVC). NVC then will contact you and ask for the Affidavit of Support, the I-864, which is based on your current income, mostly documented by the latest income tax return, in this case 2010. Once that's taken care of, NVC sends the whole package to the US Consulate General in Lagos and they invite your husband to provide paramount documentation, such as his birth certificate, the marriage certificate, a police clearance, and a medical from an approved doctor.

The fact that you have not heard anything after 7 months does not mean anything is wrong, but it's possible that they mail from USCIS didn't make it to your mailbox. Perhaps it got lost, perhaps it was sent back; your guess is as good as mine.

[patient2010 93]

Welcome to VJ........

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I am a US citizen who is petioning for my husbands citizenship, we got married in October 2010. We have our interview on June 30..I am really starting to grow more concerned as to why I have not seen any documents he has recieved from USCIS, only the ones I filled out when we first got married..I dont even have any clue what our case number is. We have lived together since marriage..but he also has a room he uses for his office, that he keeps mostly locked. We have had lots of problems, because i feel he has been very elusive and secretive..not to mention verbally and emotionally abusive towards me..the apartment we live in is his..but he promised to use the spare room as a room for my son..but then put lock on door after we married. I am getting really concerned here, and do not want to continue anything that will put me at risk for commiting any type of marriage fraud..because i entered this marriage thinking he loved me not as a sham.

I assume you meant that you brought your husband here as an immigrant.

Accidentally locked the office room is no biggie. But to lock it deliberately is a different story. I will be very suspecious as to why the door needs to be locked. I can tell base on your story that there is something going on that only your husband is aware of.

Try to discuss your concern(s) with him. He might listen and tell you why. And if that didn't work, then I would start to do an investigation myself and I would start it from his "locked" office room.

Best wishes...

Edited June 15, 2011 by ~happyndinlove~

[AlexBa 5]

I am a US citizen who is petioning for my husbands citizenship, we got married in October 2010. We have our interview on June 30..I am really starting to grow more concerned as to why I have not seen any documents he has recieved from USCIS, only the ones I filled out when we first got married..I dont even have any clue what our case number is. We have lived together since marriage..but he also has a room he uses for his office, that he keeps mostly locked. We have had lots of problems, because i feel he has been very elusive and secretive..not to mention verbally and emotionally abusive towards me..the apartment we live in is his..but he promised to use the spare room as a room for my son..but then put lock on door after we married. I am getting really concerned here, and do not want to continue anything that will put me at risk for commiting any type of marriage fraud..because i entered this marriage thinking he loved me not as a sham.

[Ironman140 45]

I have to agree something is not passing the smell test here. You mentioned a child. They should be the most important factor here. Find out what's going on or run for the hills. JMO

I assume you meant that you brought your husband here as an immigrant.

Accidentally locked the office room is no biggie. But to lock it deliberately is a different story. I will be very suspecious as to why the door needs to be locked. I can tell base on your story that there is something going on that only your husband is aware of.

Try to discuss your concern(s) with him. He might listen and tell you why. And if that didn't work, then I would start to do an investigation myself and I would start it from his "locked" office room.

Best wishes...

[rika60607 215]

Drug dealers often put locks on the doors to secure their goodies.

Could be something else though. I assume he never lets you see what's in that room?

You could have a talk with police about this room and tell them that you suspect there are drugs in there... they may be willing to go in and check for you Best do it when he's not home though.

[snip] i feel he has been very elusive and secretive..not to mention verbally and emotionally abusive towards me..the apartment we live in is his..but he promised to use the spare room as a room for my son..but then put lock on door after we married. I am getting really concerned here, and do not want to continue anything that will put me at risk for commiting any type of marriage fraud..because i entered this marriage thinking he loved me not as a sham.

[jrmejia 31]

Drug dealers often put locks on the doors to secure their goodies.

Could be something else though. I assume he never lets you see what's in that room?

You could have a talk with police about this room and tell them that you suspect there are drugs in there... they may be willing to go in and check for you Best do it when he's not home though.

Are you thinking correctly? Why get the police involve when they can communicate like couple do? If they can not have a nice communication it is up to her to judge the marriage.

-enufsaid

[Ironman140 45]

Are you thinking correctly? Why get the police involve when they can communicate like couple do? If they can not have a nice communication it is up to her to judge the marriage.

-enufsaid

Have to agree here also . Unless she's sure of something illegal or fears for the child no need for the police yet.

But I need to stress the child interest comes first

JMO

[rika60607 215]

He is (verbally and emotionally) abusive toward her, he is being elusive and secretive, he locks "his office" from her. This does not sound as if they can communicate like a couple.

If there is criminal activity going on in this apartment, then her child is in danger too. If it was me, I'd just break in and see what's inside (after trying to ask nicely first, of course), but seeing that the man could potentially upgrade to physical abuse, I would not recommend such a break in to anyone else.

It is safer to deal with situation in the presence of police.

Do you really think it is OK to lock away some parts of the house from your spouse without telling them what's going on???

Are you thinking correctly? Why get the police involve when they can communicate like couple do? If they can not have a nice communication it is up to her to judge the marriage.

-enufsaid

[Ironman140 45]

Few things I'm not understanding ??

They must still be living in the husbands home country?

So the police may not be the best to call. If he has friends in the department.

Is the child there or in the states ??? How old ???

Need more info

[Casprd 167]

Few things I'm not understanding ??

They must still be living in the husbands home country?

So the police may not be the best to call. If he has friends in the department.

Is the child there or in the states ??? How old ???

Need more info

Yes, we really need to know where you two live. In the US or his home country. If it is in the US what type of visa did he enter with. Where in the process are you? Did you bring him on a K-1 or CR-1 or was he already here on some other type of visa and you two got married in the US.

All of these and more are pertinent to giving good info, but based on what you have posted it sounds like it won't matter, If he is verbally abusive and secretive now then it will only get worse. Nigeria is a high fraud country and often the beneficiary only has the goal to become an LPR in the US and will do whatever they have to in order to achieve that goal. First thing you need to do is get you and your child out of that apartment. Whether it means living with family or friends or going to a local shelter doesn't matter. Just insure your physical safety first.

[Lady J 1]

Thanks everyone so much for your responses..here is a quick timeline. Met hubby in 2006 in Washington State, went on a couple of dates, but i wasnt really interested in a relationship at time. We kinda lost contact,met up again at a nightclub here in Washington State..started exclusively dateing in July of 2010. He had married another African-American woman during that time frame of us not communicating-she divorced him. Suddenly in October he tells me he wants me to go see a lawyer with him, i am very suspicious as to why but he was very elusive(of course). So its veryn early in October i dont remember exact date..but we go to lawyer and the minute i get there, i start seeing things relating to immigration, I was still kinda confused because as far as I knew he had been here for like 20 years (figured all that immigration stuff was squared away) Low and behold the lawyer asks me if I was aware of his legal status..I couldnt even respond-lawyer then proceeds to tell me that he has been here illegally and is facing deportation. Saddened me because prior to this we had been talking marriage and future. Also why didnt he tell me this personally along time ago, instead of bringing me to a lawyer. His explanation was he "was embarrassed" Okay, I then hear from the lawyer that he has to go to court on October 13, but this particular lawyer was also refusing to take his case because i think USCIS had been after him for awhile and he waited till last minute. Goes to court on 13, judge gives him voluntary departure for December 13. We then goes to another lawyer, she tells him his only option" is marrying a USC, so days went by and he asked me to marry him, I said yes because I loved him and cared deeply for him, we were talking of marrying very soon, and he professed how he wanted to love and take care of me and my son. So we marry end of , I moved into his place, by November 3 and before he gave me any keys-he goes and puts the lock on the door(the room he promised to accommodate my son in-he is not my sons father..but he knew all along i was the only parent in my sons life(his biological father is deceased). So whenn I confronteed him about room he tells me "every man needs an office or his own space" and that I was being a "trouble maker" and ungreatful for him moving me into his place( me and my son stayed with my grandma, because she needed help since my grandpa died) Over the months he has constantly made me feel as though I was the one creating all of the problems..told me I wasnt a good wife..he has been telling his friends and supposed family how i constantly argue with hjim. Ladies-if your husband constantly made you feel less than or called you dirty names..told you how bad of a person you are..wouldnt you respond back to defend yourself? Every argument we had was me in response to negative treatment he was giving me. I noticed condoms missing..asked him bout it he had been drinking he then slaps me in the face, calls me all kind of bitches and calls me trouble maker. I admit there were times when id question him about things, but that was only because he gave me reason to question. He lets me in the room for short periods of time..but its only when he is in there himself..and if he thinks im looking around for something he gets irritable. He is overly protective of his phone, talks for long periods of time to people on phone in his native language, while ignoring me(i confronted him..tells me im a trouble maker and he has a right to talk to his friends) Pretty much anything i question him about its either my fault or im a trouble maker-dont want to bore you all so ill stop rambling

Edited June 15, 2011 by Lady J