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america citizen abused my alien husband

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I am an american citizen woman married to a man from out of the country whos taking false pictures of himself to try to get his residency alone.He threatens me too.I have been abused phisically and mentally but have not called police for fear of going jail too because they take both no matter who hit who..What can I do? I see alot about aliens being abused but not citizens.I own alot of property and have money too and all he wants is my things and to put it in his name and abuses me because I wont.He says hes going to a lawyer to show abuse and the photos,but hes inflicting the marks himself to claim that I did this.H e is strong and mean.I am frail.What can I do prove my innocense.I am afraid of him and also afraid to call police.I feel so abused and used! He also threatens to sue me for my property and money because he says I have to support him and im going to jail if I dont cause I signed papers.He does not have his status yet,he on an ajustment and waiting for status on a k3.

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Moving to effect of major family changes.

OP, don't be afraid to file a police report or call police when anyone is threatening you or hurting you.

Removal of Conditions Journey

3/3/2009 - Removal of conditions - sent off packet to CSC

3/5/2009 - I-751 received in CSC

3/9/2009 - Check cashed

3/20/2009 - Biometrics notice received (no NOA1)

4/2/2009 - Biometrics

4/9/2009 - NOA1 date (first undelivered one is 3/5)

4/3/2009 - Touch?

5/6/2009 - ROC Approval - 65 days

6/22/2009 - CRIS Card production ordered email

7/7/2009 - GC arrived!

Naturalization Journey

3/03/2010 N400 sent to Arizona Lockbox

3/15/2010 Check cashed

3/17/2010 NOA1

3/18/2010 - Biometrics notice sent

3/26/2010 Early biometrics done at an ASC different from the one assigned to (Original BIO date was 4/15)

4/30/2010 Yellow letter received and info from USCIS mil line they are working on my interview letter (6/17 appt)

5/1/2010 Text and email interview letter sen

5/6/2010 Interview letter received - scheduled for 6/17/2010 at 10:05am

6/17/2010 Interview appointment - PASSED

6/29/2010 US Citizen

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If he is still waiting for the AOS to be done you may still have time to pull your support. Send in a letter to where ever the case is at telling them you are no longer interested in sponsoring him. Someone will come along and explain things better soon. Just stay safe and if you have too get a order of protection.


Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS


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You can call ICE at 1-866-347-2423. Don't be intimidated by him!

01/2006 - Filed k1(1st time)

04/2006 - Interview (1st time) denied

Waited, waited...... no review

06/2009 - Filed k1 (2nd time)

09/2009 - NOA 2 approved

12/2009 - Interview (2nd time) APPROVED! VISA ISSUED

02/2010 - Arrived USA

04/2010 - Married

AOS Timeline

4/19/2010-Sent to Chicago Lockbox

4/26/2010-Received texts and emails 7th day

4/30/2010-Received NOA's(Hardcopies) 11th day

5/3/2010-Received ASC appointment notice(mailed 4/29/2010)14th day

5/7/2010-Walk-in Biometrics done(2 weeks earlier)18th day

5/13/2010-Case transferred to CSC

6/2/2010- Case received/resumed at CSC

6/18,6/22,6/23 AOS touches

6/28/2010- EAD production and touch on AP

6/29/2010-AOS APPROVED

7/2/2010- 2nd update on EAD production and touched on AP....

7/6/2010- Received "Welcome Letter" and AP document

7/12/2010-Received GREEN CARD and EAD


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Just an FYI - This thread was moved FROM "AOS (Family)" to "Effect of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits" by milimelo as this isn't a question about the AOS process.

Edited by Vanessa&Tony

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im sorry this has happened to you i don't know if my advise will do you any good but........i would call the police for protection.......make a diary of all the times he has hurt himself and taken picture of it to set you up for abuse sounds to me like he has mental problems as well as being a total jerk....as others have said pull your support if you can.........but in the mean time get safe....go to a hotel if you have money get away fast so that you do not have to live in fear but make the police report so that you can start protecting yourself

your in my prayers


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Since there's an intimidation pattern going on, do you have a safe place, talk to a friend and family about it, and the next time he try to abuse you, CALL 911.

And also with all these concerns, don't go ahead with the adjustment of status and let ICE knows about the situation.

Gone but not Forgotten!

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Pull the plug while you can.

Call USCIS immediately and inform them that you want to withdraw your support. Follow this with a notarized letter saying the same, mailed with tracking. Do not tell him right away so that not to provoke violence.

Find a family member or a friend you can stay with. Go to police station and ask them what they can do for you. Cut him from all bank accounts/utilities, change the locks on your house and tell him he can come get his belongings only accompanied by police.

Do not meet him alone. Ever.

It will be a hassle, but you can kick the abuser out of your life.

Take care of yourself.


CR-1 Timeline

March'07 NOA1 date, case transferred to CSC

June'07 NOA2 per USCIS website!

Waiver I-751 timeline

July'09 Check cashed.

Jan'10 10 year GC received.

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U need to toughen up....No police is going to be on this buttholes side. Get your big brother or somebody to come oever there and scare the s*it out of him. Tell him God will not let him win this way and karma is a B*tch. Don't you have family? He's the scared little boy whos here all by himself. I've been abused before and now I wish a man would put his hands on me!!! It is a very scary thing but he has the issues not you!

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Don't worry about being arrested if you call the police you don't have to prove your innocense, you are the victim, and haven't been charged with a crime. The primary responsiblity and focus of the police will be to identify the aggressor, and not the arrest of both parties, this is discouraged. If the physical abuse is ongoing (continuing), you'll want to be the first one to contact the police, this will help to establish a history of "Domestic Violence" against you since you are the victim or complaintant, do not wait for him to take his self inflicted evidence to them first, because he will then be considered the victim, and establish a case against you.

If he is inflicting physical abuse on you and causing visible injuries, take your own photos, if the injuries are substantial go to an emergency room at a local hospital and have the physician examine you, tell them that it is a result of domestic violence, and they well also take photos and will ususally contact the police too. You can contact the police yourself, let them know that you are "in fear for your safety" and ask the responding officer(s) to assist you with an emergency restraining order, and they will also refere you to a Domestic Violence unit if they have one established. This will provide some level of protection until the actual restraining order is issued.

These are some of the things that will help your case against your husband that you must relay to law enforcement: Any threats made that is creating fear and of causing physical injury (reporting that you fear for you safety), an established history of domestic violence between the parties (it important that you start reporting the violence now), and whether either party acted in self defense, so it is important that you are not the aggressor in any way, but do protect yourself. This also helps your case against him in the event he violates the protective order, which can lead to his arrest, at which time "ICE" Immigrations and Customs Enforcemnt, will be able to take him into custody if he is arrested.

A violation of the emergency protective order and restraining order can be anything from coming within a specified distance of your home, place of employment, school or residence of relatives...you can specify to the court, the locations that he is to be restricted from. This can also include making threatening and annoying phone calls, and or text messages. As a reminder, ICE ususally will not get involved until a person is in custody by local law enforcement, and charged with a crime.

Good luck and protect yourself.

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Do not under any certain terms go to the AOS interview. Because you have not adjusted you will not be financially responsible for him. As the others have said, write a withdrawl letter for the petitions and affidavit of support. Make an infopass appointment and physically hand them the withdrawl information.

Been there done that ... get out while you can and thank your lucky stars you still have time to completely break free from this person.

Good Luck!

** The black ribbon I display in my display is for my son in law who was killed in Afganistan November 23,2009 **

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Do not under any certain terms go to the AOS interview. Because you have not adjusted you will not be financially responsible for him. As the others have said, write a withdrawl letter for the petitions and affidavit of support. Make an infopass appointment and physically hand them the withdrawl information.

Been there done that ... get out while you can and thank your lucky stars you still have time to completely break free from this person.

Good Luck!

Well he did it again!! I got arrested 2 times for a fake battery charge!! They charged me wpoth assault with a dealdly weapom withput intent to kill last month case was dropped because they couldnt prove it!He was also arrested but case was dismissed!! Ahhh!! Again he called police 2 weeks ago while I was sleeping and told police I beat him up!!I was charged with battery cause he had bruises all over him and I dont know where he got those but the police took photos of him and I tried to explain to police that I had no marks nothing that he was lying! But they still charged me!I just got out of jail 4 days ago! I have to go to court again for the second false charge! Ia so devistated that this man who I thought loved me could call police on false charges and have his freinds act as witneeses.He stoled my computer but I GOT IT BACK YESTERDAY AFTER I WENT WITH POLICE TO GET IT BECAUSE WE NOW HAVE NO CONTACT ORDER AND HES LOUNGING IN MY HOME that he wants to take too at divorce court but it in my name only and I bought it while married but I have prove money came from another home I had inherited.No bank accounts together.After I TOOK COMPUTER HOME i found photos and recordings he had made while we talked on phone of him trying to get me to admit I was trying to kill him! HE has mentally abused me to the point I JUST WANT TO DIE! i HAVE LOST MY JOB BECAUSE i am now a convicted felon!

He also stashed 2 pills in my ourse the first time I got arrested and was charged woith possession of controlled substance! My life is in shambles!

Can I sue him for recording me without my knowledge?The tapes show I WAS BEING MENTALLY ABUSED but I KNOW HE DIDNT WANT to use these cause he wanted to deleate it the day I got my computer back.The police officwr didnot let him deleate anything I caught him red handed with my compouter the day I went to get my clothes and stuff!

I am filing for the I -130 withdraw,he still hasnt recieved his I485 approval.I am so hurt and so devistated that I spent so long waiting for him and he comes here to use me!! I still am in shock that the man I married and did so much for and spent so much on put me in jail for no reason! He was always mad and angery,abused my dogs,ruined my home,he had it all planned out and he did a good job!! Will he get deported! I hope so!! He thinks he can just do this toi a woman that has never done anything wrong and get put in jail,loose all!! I have nothing left but my house! Thankyou for all you help,I need prayers right now im not well and cant eat or sleep.

Edited by aloneagain888

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He's setting you up so that he can adjust status on his own through VAWA. From the sounds of it, he's probably already got enough evidence to succeed.

If he came with a K3 then it's too late to withdraw the I-130. He's already gotten the visa and used it. You also can't withdraw the I-485 since you didn't file that form - he did. What you CAN do is withdraw your affidavit of support - the I-864. You can also refuse to go the green card interview, but in many cases there is no interview, so don't count on using that approach to end it.

Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like this is going to stop him from adjusting status. He'll refile with a VAWA claim. It appears he doesn't want to have to rely on you to help him get and keep his green card, and he's unwilling to spend two years pretending to be in a normal marital relationship.

Anyway, the immigration stuff is out of your hands. Just withdraw the affidavit of support. That's all you can do, at this point, unless you have solid evidence of immigration fraud.

Next, get as far away from him as you possibly can. Another city is good. Another state is even better. If you absolutely must stay in the city where you are then stay with family or a friend and NEVER be alone. As long as there is someone else with you then you've got an alibi if he trumps up another false accusation. Your obligation to support him ends when you withdraw the I-864. After that, only a family court judge can order you to support him.

12/15/2009 - K1 Visa Interview - APPROVED!

12/29/2009 - Married in Oakland, CA!

08/18/2010 - AOS Interview - APPROVED!

05/01/2013 - Removal of Conditions - APPROVED!

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