I'm divorcing my US citizen husband and idk what to do

[Mex in Tex 2]

Hello all,

 

My husband and I have been married for 4 years. We went through the spousal visa process (my category was IR-1).

I got to the states a year ago and he's been cheating on me, insulting me, yelling at me, he's been even aggressive and would throw stuff at me... I work and contribute with the bills and groceries and also take care of mine and my baby's personal items. I really don't make much money but I make it work while he has a really good salary but still demands me to " split" the bills which I don't have a problem but I have no money left and so I haven't even be able to get a car..

 

Now the thing is that the situation is really bad, he is always threatening me about divorcing me and taking my child away (even though he is never around her). He even said that in order to not to give me child support he would stop working. I don't care about money because I know how to work but I want my baby with me... 

 

What do I do? where do I start? Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you.

[TBoneTX 43,250]

*** Thread is moved from Off Topic to Effects of Major Changes forum.  ***

========================

If he's violent toward you or the baby, get out NOW to a place of safety.

Hire the meanest, nastiest divorce attorney that you can find.

Whether your (soon-to-be ex-)husband is working or not, child support will be taken out of his hide by the state of Texas.

[PaulaCJohnny 712]

1) Did you reported to the police?

[Crazy Cat 39,386]

36 minutes ago, Mex in Tex said:

Hello all,

 

My husband and I have been married for 4 years. We went through the spousal visa process (my category was IR-1).

I got to the states a year ago and he's been cheating on me, insulting me, yelling at me, he's been even aggressive and would throw stuff at me... I work and contribute with the bills and groceries and also take care of mine and my baby's personal items. I really don't make much money but I make it work while he has a really good salary but still demands me to " split" the bills which I don't have a problem but I have no money left and so I haven't even be able to get a car..

 

Now the thing is that the situation is really bad, he is always threatening me about divorcing me and taking my child away (even though he is never around her). He even said that in order to not to give me child support he would stop working. I don't care about money because I know how to work but I want my baby with me... 

 

What do I do? where do I start? Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you.

 Protect yourself (and your child) both physically and legally through a good divorce attorney.  

[Mex in Tex 2]

1 minute ago, PaulaCJohnny said:

1) Did you reported to the police?

No I did not. I will just start recording when he starts to insult or yell at me cause he said I have no proof.

[OldUser 4,951]

24 minutes ago, Mex in Tex said:

No I did not. I will just start recording when he starts to insult or yell at me cause he said I have no proof.

1. Don't even mention to him you have proof.

2. Don't tell him about any plans for divorce etc.

3. Put all of your documents in secure place outside of home, make digital copies of everything prior to this.

4. Secure your phone, social media and email by setting new passwords where applicable and ensuring he doesn't know them.

5. Stop contributing anything towards joint account and build your own savings.

6. Move out of the house to a new place he doesn't know about.

7. Ask for restraining order on him if you're worried about safety

8. File for divorce

 

Immigration wise, you have nothing to worry about, especially if you have 10 year GC. Worry about your safety and future of your child.

 

[Lemonslice 4,569]

18 minutes ago, Mex in Tex said:

No I did not. I will just start recording when he starts to insult or yell at me cause he said I have no proof.

He is not the judge of that.  

Please plan your escape - https://www.thehotline.org/ 

[JeanneAdil 6,220]

50 minutes ago, Mex in Tex said:

No I did not. I will just start recording when he starts to insult or yell at me cause he said I have no proof.

start by keeping a notebook of incidents and call the police  / ask for housing for battered women for u and the child

800-799-7233

his threats are bogus 

children are very rarely separated from mother and given to father

 

BTW  he can't have u deported either 

 

[Mex in Tex 2]

1 hour ago, JeanneAdil said:

start by keeping a notebook of incidents and call the police  / ask for housing for battered women for u and the child

800-799-7233

his threats are bogus 

children are very rarely separated from mother and given to father

 

BTW  he can't have u deported either 

 

Thank you, that makes me feel less stressed.

[Lemonslice 4,569]

4 minutes ago, Mex in Tex said:

Thank you, that makes me feel less stressed.

Stay safe and come back to VJ if you have questions - lot of great people to direct you to more local resources if you need. 

[Mex in Tex 2]

1 minute ago, Lemonslice said:

Stay safe and come back to VJ if you have questions - lot of great people to direct you to more local resources if you need. 

Thank you. I will do everything y’all advised. Good thing is my GC and passport are out of this house.  I will do a deeper research towards the custody of my child since he says I would lose cause I make less money but honestly, he doesn’t even know my child nor takes care of her other than providing a roof.

[OldUser 4,951]

32 minutes ago, Mex in Tex said:

Thank you. I will do everything y’all advised. Good thing is my GC and passport are out of this house.  I will do a deeper research towards the custody of my child since he says I would lose cause I make less money but honestly, he doesn’t even know my child nor takes care of her other than providing a roof.

This is all manipulation, do not let him determine your fate.

 

Only court can decide who will have the custody over the child, if you're going that route.

 

It's hard, but try not to engage in heated discussions with him. This leads to emotional or physical violence sometimes. Stay calm and focused. You deserve better treatment.

Edited March 14, 2023 by OldUser

[TBoneTX 43,250]

1 hour ago, Mex in Tex said:

I will do everything y’all advised.

Good for you, and heartwarming to hear that you're already feeling less stressed.  You'll make it.  

[Sarge2155 4,571]

4 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

*** Thread is moved from Off Topic to Effects of Major Changes forum.  ***

========================

If he's violent toward you or the baby, get out NOW to a place of safety.

Hire the meanest, nastiest divorce attorney that you can find.

Whether your (soon-to-be ex-)husband is working or not, child support will be taken out of his hide by the state of Texas.

 I can vouch for that "Don't Mess With Texas", they will take it all and leave you a dime in change. Texas is not a child support friendly state for the man! Even if he is not working the support will accumulate each month. I've seen some guys as high as 80k

Edited March 14, 2023 by Sarge2155

[Sarge2155 4,571]

1 hour ago, Mex in Tex said:

Thank you. I will do everything y’all advised. Good thing is my GC and passport are out of this house.  I will do a deeper research towards the custody of my child since he says I would lose cause I make less money but honestly, he doesn’t even know my child nor takes care of her other than providing a roof.

 Very hard for a man to wrest children from their mother especially in Texas. The woman would have to be a total incompetent to lose her kids to a man!