Divorce after granted the two year card?

[Pelmeni 39]

What will happen if I divorce him before the is it a 10 year renewal? We had the 90 days and then got the next green card. He's put me through hell. I'm afraid of him. I should never have caved into signing a car loan. Now the implication is if I dont do what he wants he will ruin me financially. My.brother died of cancer this May and he moved in with my parents when he got a job from my other brother in another state. I saw him on a dating website in the car in my name, in my parents driveway, and in the work uniform from the job my older brother got him a few weeks after my little brother died.  A picture I took. When I approach him about any of this he yells that I'm a stupid . I'm afraid that he's at my parents. I'm afraid not to renew his card. What happens if I don't? I just want him away from me, my children,  and my grieving and older parents. There's also been no sex. I'm a nervous wreck. He makes me say please and thank you but gives me orders. Its so strange he feels entitled to everything. Should I try to divorce him now or let the green card expire? I'd rather be financially ruined than live like this. 

[aaron2020 11,651]

Hi,

 

Sorry you are in pain.

Divorce and move on.  Get a restraining order if you feel unsafe.  Your safety should be your first priority.  

 

There's nothing you can do about his green card.  If you divorce, he can file to remove the condition on his own.  If you don't divorce, he would need your participation to remove the condition.  This would force him to file for divorce in order to remove the condition on his green card.  

Best of luck.  

[MASH 172]

I am sorry you have to go through this, 

 

sadly he already has his green card , however for the 10 year green card he can technically do it alone , but if he doesn’t have enough evidence they will deny him and you can even provide proof of his abuse . 

[H.Angy 51]

It is funny how people say that they are sorry in a very short cold sentence and then jump with advices.

Your story is long, it has children, relatives and a loan. Things are not as easy as those 2 users said.

 

 

Edited December 14, 2020 by H.Angy

[Unlockable 7,306]

4 hours ago, H.Angy said:

It is funny how people say that they are sorry in a very short cold sentence and then jump with advices.

Your story is long, it has children, relatives and a loan. Things are not as easy as those 2 users said.

 

 

Moderator here.

 

Please consider that there are numerous postings the pop up on this site. Some members come in and ask a question one time and are never heard from again. Some engage with the valued members here and some even become long time contributes. Sometimes a statement of condolence, even if it is just one sentence, can comfort a member. People who contribute to this site have lives also, and are taking time out of their lives to help complete strangers whom they never, and likely never will, meet in person. There is no rule that states that members have to respond with long heartfelt sympathetic replies. But we do ask that members are courteous and respectful. Also, there is a rule that no member can dictate how members post as long as the postings abide by the posting guidelines.

 

The members sentences were not "short cold". The best thing about this site is there are experienced members here who provide good advice and accurate information. And that information is sometimes to the point as to not waste time scrolling through content that is irrelevant to the OP's situation. 

 

A "Good morning" can go a long way.

A "Thank you" can go a long way.

An "I'm sorry" go a long way.

All of them are short statements, but they are not cold.

 

Please familiarize yourself with the sites TOS for reference.

https://www.visajourney.com/terms-of-service/

 

Thanks for understanding,

VJ Moderation

[da95826 387]

Sorry for your unfortunate situation. I am sorry he is with your family not sure what you really want to do, it up to your family to support you if your husband is not. I think you should make your family aware if the situation between you and your spouse.

 

If you do nothing further with his immigration process (don't participate in i751 filing) he can not move forward with a joint i751 application, he could however file an i751 with a waver by himself. There are waivers for i751 cases for abuse, divorce, widow, or compassion. If you two get a divorce he can file alone with a divorce waiver he would still need to prove the marriage was enter in good faith.

 

The best thing you can do is to file for a divorce in order to protect your legal rights. Separate from him as quickly as you can seek a protection order if he has abuse you. If he physically abuses you be sure to call the police and file charges that is most important to protect yourself. If he is convicted of domestic violence it would make his immigration case difficult. 

 

As for his green card status, do not participate any further in his immigration process. Do not combine any resources with your spouse, close or remove your name from any joint accounts you have with him right away. File your tax return as married filed separately and single after divorce, do not file his tax return (up to himself to file separately). 

 

 

[millefleur 5,038]

**Moved from Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits; OP may find useful advice there**

[Pelmeni 39]

On 12/14/2020 at 12:55 AM, MASH said:

I am sorry you have to go through this, 

 

sadly he already has his green card , however for the 10 year green card he can technically do it alone , but if he doesn’t have enough evidence they will deny him and you can even provide proof of his abuse . 

 thank you. Things escalated over the holiday. I recorded him talking sexually and declaring love for another woman he knew before marrying me and they were talking about me viciously and laughing about using me. My parents asked him to return the house keys and leave and he refused and challenged them to call the cops we they had no choice. They made him return the key and waited until he left.   I have had to return with my children to the state where I work but he is hanging around working near where my parents live. My brother hired him and we are pretty much hostages

[Pelmeni 39]

On 12/14/2020 at 2:02 AM, H.Angy said:

It is funny how people say that they are sorry in a very short cold sentence and then jump with advices.

Your story is long, it has children, relatives and a loan. Things are not as easy as those 2 users said.

 

 

  I appreciate everyone trying to help. While most situations turn out well some do not. Scammer and users make it more difficult for honest people. 

[Pelmeni 39]

On 12/14/2020 at 11:44 AM, da95826 said:

Sorry for your unfortunate situation. I am sorry he is with your family not sure what you really want to do, it up to your family to support you if your husband is not. I think you should make your family aware if the situation between you and your spouse.

 

If you do nothing further with his immigration process (don't participate in i751 filing) he can not move forward with a joint i751 application, he could however file an i751 with a waver by himself. There are waivers for i751 cases for abuse, divorce, widow, or compassion. If you two get a divorce he can file alone with a divorce waiver he would still need to prove the marriage was enter in good faith.

 

The best thing you can do is to file for a divorce in order to protect your legal rights. Separate from him as quickly as you can seek a protection order if he has abuse you. If he physically abuses you be sure to call the police and file charges that is most important to protect yourself. If he is convicted of domestic violence it would make his immigration case difficult. 

 

As for his green card status, do not participate any further in his immigration process. Do not combine any resources with your spouse, close or remove your name from any joint accounts you have with him right away. File your tax return as married filed separately and single after divorce, do not file his tax return (up to himself to file separately). 

 

 

Thank you about the tax return advice. I hadn't even thought of it. I did try to close our joint bank account but it takes a while. He keeps using his card and over drafting! He has been sending money to someone likely the woman while hes been living rent free and eating from my parents table while chatting with her near my parents assuming they don't understand Russian. They don't but they know the way brothers and sisters talk to each other and it's not like that. The thing is if my parents were less good we could have driven off with the car while he was at work but they are afraid and would not anyway. My mom is the type of person who worries about someone having enough food even if they've taken hers! I have to admit I'm a bit like that myself which is how I got scammed. I actually help refugees and work in the immigrant community but I don't make much money and I've never come up against someone who has so little compassion for others. We are at a disadvantage here because they are good moral people. 

[TBoneTX 43,250]

A good heart is a good thing.

Conversely, don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out.

[Pelmeni 39]

Is there any way to tell if he has left the U.S. and returned to Russia? There were lots of threats on his part and the police suggested I cut off all communication which I did. I forgot about a WhatsApp account and I noticed he posted for his profile pic what seemed to be an itinerary of a flight out which really shocked me but he left one good job with benefits which my family worked hard to get him to supposedly go earn big money driving a truck. Maybe it didnt work out. Of course, I suppose that leaving doesn't necessarily mean he couldn't return but I could stop looking over my shoulder a bit. I know airlines can't give out the information, of course, but I thought USCIS might. However, I haven't been able to speak to anyone there. Thank you. Also, I know for most people these things work out and I wish you all happiness in your marriages. Thank you for your support.  

 

[Pelmeni 39]

On 1/1/2021 at 12:17 PM, TBoneTX said:

A good heart is a good thing.

Conversely, don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out.

Love that quote!

 

[Pelmeni 39]

Btw I did try for an order of protection. They can't do one unless there is an address to serve someone. 

[TBoneTX 43,250]

12 hours ago, Pelmeni said:

he posted for his profile pic what seemed to be an itinerary of a flight out

One chance to learn might be if his confirmation or record-locator number is visible in that post.  The airline might then be able to tell you.

12 hours ago, Pelmeni said:

he left one good job

If he left the job in connection with flying out (i.e., he didn't leave the job long before flying out), maybe place a call to the company, asking to reach him.  When they say that he's gone, sound surprised, and innocently probe as to where he went or if he left any contact information.  They may not know or may refuse to tell you, but it's worth a try.