Hague Adoption Process Question -- Can my English niece come to live with us?

[alexandaaron 13]

Hi, all:

 

Trying to understand the adoption process for Hague Convention countries, and failing to find much information on here! Has anyone gone through this before? Here are the details:

 

I am USC, hubby is LPR (temp green card July 2017, filed for ROC July 2019 and currently has an 18-month extension letter). His sister is a single mother of three children and struggling to provide adequate care in the United KIngdom, where they live. Father does not have custody; mum is on social assistance but recently has struggled to keep up with the needs of a 15, 9, and 4 year old.

 

If she's willing to permit it, could we adopt our 15 year old niece and bring her here to live with us? She'll be finishing secondary school (but not A levels) in about a year; so what do our options look like? As far as I can tell so far, our choices are:

1. Have her come as an F-1 student to a private high school for 2 years, then apply to college here
2. Have her come as an F-1 student to a public high school, but reimburse the school for her costs + apply to college here
3. Have her come as an F-1 student to a public community college and pay tuition, then apply to transfer to 4 year here
4. Adopt her under the Hague Convention (I-800a), then bring her here

 

Which of these will give her the best options, long-term? We're hoping to set her up for educational and career success, and to give her the option of remaining in the US through university or going back to the UK for it in a few years, as an adult. I heard it's super difficult to adjust from an F-1 visa to any other type -- would that be true? If she goes the F-1 route, will she be unlikely to have a future in the US?

[JFH 12,189]

 

Student visas require the individual to demonstrate irrefutable evidence that they will return home at the end of the course of study. Based on your post, the intention is to have her live with you permanently, not just for as long as she has left at school. Not only that, transitioning into a different school system at her age is going to be very, very difficult. It’s also very expensive - to the point where if you can afford that, you can afford to pay for home help/a nanny for your sister-in-law. There are also plenty of government support systems in the UK for single parents and children from deprived homes. It’s the land of the welfare state, after all.

 

As the child is related to you, is not an orphan,  and in a Hague country, you can only adopt her if you had physical and legal custody of her in her homeland (the UK) before starting the adoption. Are you planning to move to the UK?

Edited July 3, 2019 by JFH

[Boiler 43,438]

The one I would go for you have not mentioned, get her A Levels, then a F1 to study at a US University which you can fund.

 

Moving at this sort of age between very different system would not be a good idea.

 

 

Edited July 3, 2019 by Boiler

[USS_Voyager 1,971]

56 minutes ago, alexandaaron said:

Which of these will give her the best options, long-term?

I know nothing about the Hague Convention so someone else has to chime in. As far the other options, the best one and least expensive one is to do the community college and transfer to. 4 year university. Option 1 and 2 are very expensive and disruptive. Have you looked up costs of private high school? It’s more than college! Unless you’re super indenpndently wealthy, I wouldn’t consider that. 

 

1 hour ago, alexandaaron said:

heard it's super difficult to adjust from an F-1 visa to any other type -- would that be true? If she goes the F-1 route, will she be unlikely to have a future in the US?

I don’t think so. Lots of people change status from F-1 to others all the time. I myself changed from F-1 to H1B and eventually got my green card through my employer.

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

1 hour ago, alexandaaron said:

Hi, all:

 

Trying to understand the adoption process for Hague Convention countries, and failing to find much information on here! Has anyone gone through this before? Here are the details:

 

I am USC, hubby is LPR (temp green card July 2017, filed for ROC July 2019 and currently has an 18-month extension letter). His sister is a single mother of three children and struggling to provide adequate care in the United KIngdom, where they live. Father does not have custody; mum is on social assistance but recently has struggled to keep up with the needs of a 15, 9, and 4 year old.

 

If she's willing to permit it, could we adopt our 15 year old niece and bring her here to live with us? She'll be finishing secondary school (but not A levels) in about a year; so what do our options look like? As far as I can tell so far, our choices are:

1. Have her come as an F-1 student to a private high school for 2 years, then apply to college here
2. Have her come as an F-1 student to a public high school, but reimburse the school for her costs + apply to college here
3. Have her come as an F-1 student to a public community college and pay tuition, then apply to transfer to 4 year here
4. Adopt her under the Hague Convention (I-800a), then bring her here

 

Which of these will give her the best options, long-term? We're hoping to set her up for educational and career success, and to give her the option of remaining in the US through university or going back to the UK for it in a few years, as an adult. I heard it's super difficult to adjust from an F-1 visa to any other type -- would that be true? If she goes the F-1 route, will she be unlikely to have a future in the US?

Assuming she is granted an F visa, only 1 or 3 are options. She cannot attend public high school for longer than one year on an F1 visa (and as you already seem to know, all full unsubsidized costs have to be paid for that yeat).

 

i can’t see why you would want her to continue to a 4-year college in the US when it is cheaper and so are student loans from what I understand, in the UK?

 

My limited understanding of the adoption law as it pertains to immigration indicates this is not an option (2 year residence requirement, parents still alive) but I stand to be corrected. 

Edited July 3, 2019 by SusieQQQ

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

Also, apart from the general issues people have raised about moving at that age and between school systems, think of the effect of someone moving from a background of welfare in the UK to a private school in the US. 

[JFH 12,189]

15 minutes ago, SusieQQQ said:

Also, apart from the general issues people have raised about moving at that age and between school systems, think of the effect of someone moving from a background of welfare in the UK to a private school in the US. 

Indeed! Kids can be very cruel. If you haven’t been skiing in Aspen every Christmas and haven’t been spending your summers at pony camp and at your second home in the Bahamas you will be fair game for the Mean Girls. 

[JFH 12,189]

24 minutes ago, SusieQQQ said:

 

 

My limited understanding of the adoption law as it pertains to immigration indicates this is not an option (2 year residence requirement, parents still alive) but I stand to be corrected. 

That’s correct. True, unrelated orphans do not have this requirement which is how people adopt babies and toddlers from China, for example. That’s why there was an outcry with one of Madonna’s  adoptions - there was concern that the child wasn’t a true orphan. 

 

If one parent is still alive then the residence requirement kicks in.

[SalishSea 16,772]

33 minutes ago, USS_Voyager said:

I know nothing about the Hague Convention so someone else has to chime in. As far the other options, the best one and least expensive one is to do the community college and transfer to. 4 year university. Option 1 and 2 are very expensive and disruptive. Have you looked up costs of private high school? It’s more than college! Unless you’re super indenpndently wealthy, I wouldn’t consider that. 

 

It is way more complicated than community college vs university.  And since it is fraud to come on an F-1 with intent to adjust status, that option doesn't seem to fit.   OP would have to first obtain legal custody of the niece, and then be prepared to relocate to the UK for two years to live with her there.  

 

Hague convention adoption is a complex process, and probably not for DIY.

[jan22 2,898]

There are a lot of steps to an international adoption for immigration to the US that must be done before the child turns 16.  As your neice is already 15, it is highly unlikely you could meet that timeline.

 

As others have pointed out, it would be difficult to switch from a UK to a US system at her age, and proving intent to return to the UK after completing a US high school education would be very difficult.  These factors make a student visa unlikely.

 

[wbeem 567]

5 hours ago, jan22 said:

There are a lot of steps to an international adoption for immigration to the US that must be done before the child turns 16.  As your neice is already 15, it is highly unlikely you could meet that timeline.

 

As others have pointed out, it would be difficult to switch from a UK to a US system at her age, and proving intent to return to the UK after completing a US high school education would be very difficult.  These factors make a student visa unlikely.

 

To add to this, even going the student route, this could potentially become very traumatic at a later stage. 

With adoption, the biological mother would sign away all her parental rights and responsibilities. You would also need the consent of the biological father, even if he does not have custody. While it appears now as a gesture of kindness to help out a family member, it also holds untold levels of potential emotional and psychological pain and confusion at a later stage. 

On a more practical, family based standpoint, since the OP appears to have a loving and strong relationship with the family, separating a child from her family and siblings also opens up a whole slew of issues. If the struggles, as I understand them to be from the original post, are mainly financial, there is a much better pillar of resources available in the UK.  Let the teen finish her education. Once she has done so, perhaps she could consider a summer camp or some type of short term holiday working visa where she could come and check out where you live and get a taste of the lifestyle here. This is particularly important if she has never visited the US before. Not only is the culture and lifestyle different, but each state and region has their own cultures and history here so it's not as simple as "I've been to America and I know what it's like."  

[beloved_dingo 1,932]

Maybe I'm missing something here, but if you want to help your husband's sister with the children, and have the money to even consider the options you presented - why don't you just help her out financially? I assume she is a fit parent going through a rough financial time so wouldn't that be the least disruptive way to provide support...?

[SalishSea 16,772]

Just now, beloved_dingo said:

Maybe I'm missing something here, but if you want to help your husband's sister with the children, and have the money to even consider the options you presented - why don't you just help her out financially? I assume she is a fit parent going through a rough financial time so wouldn't that be the least disruptive way to provide support...?

Totally agree.  The amount of money it would take to accomplish what the OP wants to do (including the cost of moving overseas) would go a LONG way to helping that struggling family.

[Zoeeeeeee 795]

Totally agree with the above comments - unless there’s more to this story and this child isn’t happy in her home, removing her and separating her from her mum and siblings actually sounds quite cruel.

 

Re education - there is nothing wrong with public/state/free schools in the UK. Me and my siblings all went to state school (and were raised by a single mum) and we’ve all been successful in our education and our careers. University isn’t cheap, though there are bursaries and/or student loans available - and if you have the funds to do what you’ve described in your original post, you could probably pay to put all three children through university, instead of adopting just one.

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

24 minutes ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

Totally agree with the above comments - unless there’s more to this story and this child isn’t happy in her home, removing her and separating her from her mum and siblings actually sounds quite cruel.

 

Re education - there is nothing wrong with public/state/free schools in the UK. Me and my siblings all went to state school (and were raised by a single mum) and we’ve all been successful in our education and our careers. University isn’t cheap, though there are bursaries and/or student loans available - and if you have the funds to do what you’ve described in your original post, you could probably pay to put all three children through university, instead of adopting just one.

Uni may not be cheap anymore in the UK, but it's much cheaper than the US per year, and it's only 3 years not 4. And do they still have that system where you don't start paying back student loans until you're earning a certain amount of income?

 

Agree with the last line zoeeeeee says above too. The cheapest private school I know of locally is $22k a year, not high school. The high schools run around $50k a year. I daresay the equivalent of two years of private high school in the US is about enough to support the niece through A-levels and a 3-year uni degree. The college funds apparently available for the eldest could do the same for the other two.