Hague Adoption Process Question -- Can my English niece come to live with us?

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

I think it’s incredibly sad that the rest of the family has effectively abandoned the kids because they have a problem with the mother.  Unfortunately with all your good intentions and resources, there is a limit to what you can do to help her if you want to stay in the US - you’re basically dependent on her being granted an F1 visa. Is it totally out of the question to return to the UK for a few years and see her through this there? You mention your husband has second+guessed the decision to leave, which makes it sound like being there is an option. If she’s attempted self-harm more than once badly enough to get her into hospital imo this is pretty critical to get sorted out.  

[Boiler 43,434]

Maybe she could Board in the UK?

[jan22 2,898]

11 hours ago, alexandaaron said:

Whoa! Couple of responses here:

1. Our intention is not for her to live with us permanently -- it is for her to live with us until she is through her schooling and then go off to university, after which point we presume she will be off to live her own life and start her career, most likely in the country of her birth but possibly in the US.

 

2. The issue with her mother is not about money. Bringing in a nanny will not put an end to the other issues that make her mother unable to care for her adequately. And I'm also not certain what a nanny would be expected to do for a 15 year old?

 

3. As I understand it, the 2 year residency is not required for a Hague adoption, but is strictly required for non-Hague adoptions? Regardless, we cannot move to the UK, as my husband hasn't yet completed his own immigration process and we are not able to reside anywhere besides the US at the moment.

Re your #1:  Perhaps I misread, but it seemed clear your intention was for your neice to remain in the US as long as she wanted -- up to and including permanently.  Considering adoption also indicates immigration to the US, not just an education-related stay.

 

Re your #2:  You have clarified the financial issues.  Re what the nanny would do for a 15-year-old, though --- provide the care the mother is not giving in getting her to school, providing assistance with physical and emotional support needs, helping to care for the two yoUnger chiLoren if your neice is doing some of that, etc.  Perhaps nanny was not the best descriptive.

 

If you're still thinking about adoption as a possibility, it is highly unlikely that the situation would/could meet the Hague adoption requirements.

1. You must have an approved I-800A (Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country) from USCIS, which would then let you file the I-800.  The I-800 has to be filed before your neice is 16.
2. The British Central Authority would need to declare that your niece qualifies for an intercountry adoption and propose an adoption placement that has been accepted. 
3. Both parents would need to provide written irrevocable consent to the legal termination of their relationship with the child and to her adoption and immigration.
4. Assuming the father still has custody rights even if he isn't using them, both parents would need to provide evidence that they were unable to provide proper care for her.  Otherwise, just the mother would need to do that.

The two-year Iegal custody of/residing with the child is an absolute requirement for a non-Hague adoption.

 

 Hope  you find a solution that works for your family, but I believe the possibility of bringing your neice to the US is a long shot, at best.

Edited July 4, 2019 by jan22

[jan22 2,898]

11 hours ago, alexandaaron said:

But then why do US high school F1 visas exist? Surely there are plenty of international students who come with intent to return home (I went to school with one or two), potentially after completing a US college education but no further.

High school F1s exist, for the most part, to allow foreign student exchange programs to operate.  That's why they are restrictdr for one year in a public high school, for example.  

[alexandaaron 13]

5 hours ago, Boiler said:

Maybe she could Board in the UK?

This is a viable solution, and if anyone has recommendations on resources/where to start with thinking about UK boarding schools, I am all ears!!

[alexandaaron 13]

5 hours ago, SusieQQQ said:

I think it’s incredibly sad that the rest of the family has effectively abandoned the kids because they have a problem with the mother.  Unfortunately with all your good intentions and resources, there is a limit to what you can do to help her if you want to stay in the US - you’re basically dependent on her being granted an F1 visa. Is it totally out of the question to return to the UK for a few years and see her through this there? You mention your husband has second+guessed the decision to leave, which makes it sound like being there is an option. If she’s attempted self-harm more than once badly enough to get her into hospital imo this is pretty critical to get sorted out.  

I think it's incredibly sad, too, and as someone who's come from a family where I have always had multiple aunts, uncles, cousins, older siblings, grandparents, great aunts and uncles, etc. who have been ready, able, and willing to provide love and support to me or any other child or cousin -- should we need it -- this is really hard to understand.

 

It is an option, but obviously not a preferred one, as we're in the middle of waiting for his 10-year green card and cannot be resident elsewhere until that process ends. However, should things get really dire and nothing else works out; I would rather we abandon this process and try again at some point in the future than abandon this kid.

 

Someone else in the thread has suggested boarding in the UK, which is a possibility that I hadn't really considered before (no idea why), but will look into now. It's just so frustrating because we're in such a good position to provide daily care for her; we're stable and loving and financially comfortable here in the US, I work from home and have a terminal degree (so no need or intention to leave work in the near future), we have no children -- just a small dog, my parents live 15 minutes away and have no grandchildren (but enjoy providing care for older kids and have done so for my other cousins), my husband is a full-time student so he's at home a lot for additional support, and our local schools are so good... the things that we have to give her aren't strictly monetary, but they're exactly the things she cries about/asks for when she's in England (or when she visits us). Why can we not share what we have with her? It's breaking my heart.

 

That said, the situation is what it is, I suppose. I'm going to explore boarding in the UK, as well as private school here and see what options we can come up with. I'm also going to apply for some positions in England.

 

Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this thread.

Edited July 4, 2019 by alexandaaron

[alexandaaron 13]

3 hours ago, jan22 said:

Re your #1:  Perhaps I misread, but it seemed clear your intention was for your neice to remain in the US as long as she wanted -- up to and including permanently.  Considering adoption also indicates immigration to the US, not just an education-related stay.

 

Re your #2:  You have clarified the financial issues.  Re what the nanny would do for a 15-year-old, though --- provide the care the mother is not giving in getting her to school, providing assistance with physical and emotional support needs, helping to care for the two yoUnger chiLoren if your neice is doing some of that, etc.  Perhaps nanny was not the best descriptive.

 

If you're still thinking about adoption as a possibility, it is highly unlikely that the situation would/could meet the Hague adoption requirements.

1. You must have an approved I-800A (Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country) from USCIS, which would then let you file the I-800.  The I-800 has to be filed before your neice is 16.
2. The British Central Authority would need to declare that your niece qualifies for an intercountry adoption and propose an adoption placement that has been accepted. 
3. Both parents would need to provide written irrevocable consent to the legal termination of their relationship with the child and to her adoption and immigration.
4. Assuming the father still has custody rights even if he isn't using them, both parents would need to provide evidence that they were unable to provide proper care for her.  Otherwise, just the mother would need to do that.

The two-year Iegal custody of/residing with the child is an absolute requirement for a non-Hague adoption.

 

 Hope  you find a solution that works for your family, but I believe the possibility of bringing your neice to the US is a long shot, at best.

Thanks for these helpful responses. I do not believe the father has any custody rights, but I am not certain.

 

I may not have written clearly; the immediate need is to remove her from a dangerous situation wherein she is not receiving adequate care. Long-term, I know that she wants to attend university in the US, but also hopes to practice family law in the United Kingdom as an adult, and so clearly plans to return there, even if she were to come to stay with us for a while. If adoption + immigration were an option that would permit her to do those things, I would pursue it -- but it sounds like that isn't the case, so I'm looking for other options.

 

A paid caretaker of some sort is perhaps the best alternative, so I'll be looking into boarding schools, etc. in the UK.

 

Thanks for all the help.