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Blessingsofgod

F2A in process but my spouse wants to separate

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Dear all, 

I am new to this. I married PR in USA and he filed for spouse visa for me. Got our NOA1 and long wait for NOA2. Now he is not interested to continue this relationship and wants to file divorce. I live in Mumbai India he lives in SA Texas. I love my husband so much. Please advise what I can do to stop him from doing this. Once I live with him we will be happy but now he telling he is not having any feelings for me. He is not ready to work out. All you help will help me. 

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Posted (edited)
16 minutes ago, Blessingsofgod said:

Also I have visa to visit. Is it worth trying to go see him in person and make things better. Whether they will allow me to go to stay for 6 months with my husband. What all documents I need to carry to go. 

I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s a very difficult situation to go through. I don’t know if anyone here would be able to give you any advice on hw to stop him from dng what he’s doing now as it’s totally upto him. But why don’t you try talking to him or talk thru a family member that he respects? 

Edited by ujones

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34 minutes ago, Blessingsofgod said:

Dear all, 

I am new to this. I married PR in USA and he filed for spouse visa for me. Got our NOA1 and long wait for NOA2. Now he is not interested to continue this relationship and wants to file divorce. I live in Mumbai India he lives in SA Texas. I love my husband so much. Please advise what I can do to stop him from doing this. Once I live with him we will be happy but now he telling he is not having any feelings for me. He is not ready to work out. All you help will help me. 

You cannot do anything to force him continue the process. You can, however, discuss with him (if he listens).

 

To be honest, if he has decided to do so then there should be some big problems from one of the sides or both. 

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57 minutes ago, Blessingsofgod said:

Please advise what I can do to stop him from doing this. Once I live with him we will be happy but now he telling he is not having any feelings for me. He is not ready to work out. All you help will help me. 

Unfortunately, you cannot force someone to remain married to you nor can you force someone to continue your visa process...since you are in two separate countries, counseling doesn't seem like a feasible option at this point...all you can do at this is try to talk to him and find out where his head is at.  Perhaps he has anxiety about the marriage with the thought of you actually coming to the US soon (it seems more "real" to him now), perhaps there is someone else in the picture.

 

55 minutes ago, Blessingsofgod said:

Also I have visa to visit. Is it worth trying to go see him in person and make things better.

It may make things better, however it may also make things far worse if he's not willing to work anything out..plus just showing up at his home (if he doesn't wish to continue any sort of relationship with you) may not be in your best interests if he doesn't want you to stay with him under the same roof while in the US--because then where would you go?  

 

One good thing (if there's anything "good" about this situation), is that you're finding this out now---instead of after you've already cut any financial/employment ties in your home country to move.

 

Sorry this happened to you...hopefully things will work out----if they do not, you're a stronger person for it.


Applied for Naturalization based on 5-year Residency - 96 Days To Complete Citizenship!

July 14, 2017 (Day 00) -  Submitted N400 Application, filed online

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July 25, 2017 (Day 11) - Biometrics PDF posted online

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Oct. 19, 2017 (Day 96) -  Oath Ceremony-- read my experience here

 

 

 

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Thanks all for your support. I stayed with him for few months and when I am near him he seems to be all okay. When he is alone he is not stable. He thinks of to end this relationship. That’s the reason I asked whether it is better to go and visit him once as he is not willing to travel due to this frustration. May be yes I will find hard time if he doesn’t want to live with me but I have some friends where I can stay with them and try once. What documents should i carry to enter. Because last time when I went my spouse sent me invite letter. This time I am going without his knowledge so I can’t get that done. 

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You can try and enter with your tourist visa but CBP may ask for evidence of strong ties to India, and when they ask the purpose of your visit and you say to visit your husband, be prepared for additional scrutiny and possible denial of entry.  Having gone through a divorce myself five years ago, I would also suggest that when one person in the relationship wants to end it and the other one doesn't, that the way you respond to your husband's desire to end your relationship could preserve any chance, however small, that the relationship could be salvaged.  When I first told my wife I wanted a divorce, she disagreed, and thought she could stop the divorce.  She went ballistic and screamed and yelled at me.  Then at every step of the divorce process she fought and stalled and did everything she could to make life miserable for me.  She stalked me and harassed me.  There were moments early in the divorce process when I would have tried to reconcile, but her outrageous, disrespectful, and unstable behavior only confirmed my decision and pushed us further apart.  I guess what I'm trying to say is be calm, be professional and respectful about his decision.  Continue to show your love for him, and be helpful and kind, and who knows, if he sees this kind of response from you, he may realize what an amazing wife he is leaving behind and he could have a change of heart.  So sorry you're going through this, but in the end I hope you find someone to be happy with who will respect and love you.

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2 hours ago, Blessingsofgod said:

Because last time when I went my spouse sent me invite letter.

There are no invite letters or sponsorships of tourist visas.  Your tourist visa allows for you to request admission at the border, and if you are admitted, the CBP will decide the duration of the visit.

 

 

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41 minutes ago, carmel34 said:

You can try and enter with your tourist visa but CBP may ask for evidence of strong ties to India,

Except that she clearly has an immigrant visa in the works.

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I am so sorry this is happening to you.

You seem to have made up your mind about going to The States on your visitor's visa anyway which to me sounds odd.. Why would you want to force this on your husband instead of trying to work through this first? I would suggest you guys talk about this first so you will be able to finish the immigration process the legal way (or not in case he will not change his mind).

 

The way your post sounds now, is that you want to go to The States no matter what (you even have thought about friends that you can stay with in case your husband does not want to see you/work it out) so you could be considered a high risk, especially when it becomes clear to the officer that your marriage is very rocky at the moment.. Do you know if your husband has withdrawn anything yet?


   
   
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6 hours ago, Blessingsofgod said:

Thanks all for your support. I stayed with him for few months and when I am near him he seems to be all okay. When he is alone he is not stable. He thinks of to end this relationship. That’s the reason I asked whether it is better to go and visit him once as he is not willing to travel due to this frustration. May be yes I will find hard time if he doesn’t want to live with me but I have some friends where I can stay with them and try once. What documents should i carry to enter. Because last time when I went my spouse sent me invite letter. This time I am going without his knowledge so I can’t get that done. 

If he's telling you that he already has no feelings for you, he's already emotionally distanced himself from you---and chances are he began to emotionally distance himself well before he fessed up that he no longer wanted to continue the relationship, and started talking about going down the road of divorce.

 

If he's not willing to travel to see you and try to work things out in person, chances are he's unwilling to see you in person should you travel and "surprise" him.

 

Ultimately, it's your choice---CBP may admit you for the full 6 months duration of stay, or they may only admit you for a few weeks/a month due to the immigrant intent shown by your previous filing...that's their call.

 

Before you do anything, I would try to find out whether your husband has submitted a request to withdraw his petition for you.


Applied for Naturalization based on 5-year Residency - 96 Days To Complete Citizenship!

July 14, 2017 (Day 00) -  Submitted N400 Application, filed online

July 21, 2017 (Day 07) -  NOA Receipt received in the mail

July 22, 2017 (Day 08) - Biometrics appointment scheduled online, letter mailed out

July 25, 2017 (Day 11) - Biometrics PDF posted online

July 28, 2017 (Day 14) - Biometrics letter received in the mail, appointment for 08/08/17

Aug 08, 2017 (Day 24) - Biometrics (fingerprinting) completed

Aug 14, 2017 (Day 30) - Online EGOV status shows "Interview Scheduled, will mail appointment letter"

Aug 16, 2017 (Day 32) - Online MYUSCIS status shows "Interview Scheduled, read the letter we mailed you..."

Aug 17, 2017 (Day 33) - Interview Appointment Letter PDF posted online---GOT AN INTERVIEW DATE!!!

Aug 21, 2017 (Day 37) - Interview Appointment Letter received in the mail, appointment for 09/27/17

Sep. 27, 2017 (Day 74) - Naturalization Interview--- read my experience here

Sep. 27, 2017 (Day 74) - Online MYUSCIS status shows "Oath Ceremony Notice mailed"

Sep. 28, 2017 (Day 75) - Oath Ceremony Letter PDF posted online--Ceremony for 10/19/17

Oct. 02, 2017 (Day 79) -  Oath Ceremony Letter received in the mail

Oct. 19, 2017 (Day 96) -  Oath Ceremony-- read my experience here

 

 

 

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My husband hasn’t withdraw anything yet. He is frustrated by being alone. So I thought to make a trip so that he will feel better. And definitely he won’t send me out when he see me as I know him better. He chooses this due to frustration I am trying to make him to think we hav to go through this long wait. I knew it’s tough for both of us. Thanks all for your valuable inputs. Keep me in prayers. 

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We've all been through this process, including hard waits, long stretches of time between visits and honestly, some doubts.

 

We don't know both sides of the story, but if he is genuinely done with your relationship, consider his feelings. Is it just about loneliness, or is it something else? I certainly felt lonely during our journey - but not enough to call the whole thing off, as that would be counterproductive to the emptiness that I was feeling while we waited.

 

Good luck.


 

 

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