Tips on How to Ease the Transition

[Zoeeeeeee 796]

Just want to say @celie&joseph, you’re already helping ease the transition for your husband, because by asking on here shows that you’re consciously thinking about it and that you care - that’s fantastic and your husband will no doubt really appreciate this 💕💕

[NikLR 13,220]

17 hours ago, databit said:

Adding: Lose the bushy beard

Pfft everyone has a beard.  

[NikLR 13,220]

OP. Because your future husband is coming on a fiance visa, this will be harder on him.  For 6 months (ish) he wont beable to be an independent adult.  You will go to work each day and he will stay home. 

If possible get him a bus pass and the path to the local library.  

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

Make sure he has a good cell phone and WIFI so he can talk to family and friends back home for free on whatsapp, etc

 

and find an international market to buy foods he is familar with

I started growing mint for my husband's tea as he bought 3 pieces of mint with him

 

the biggest issue he will have is being alone while you work till he gets the cards that allow him to find a job /that is why i say important to be able to talk to family

 

when he first comes take time to drive him around and get him familiar with the area 

when i lived in California people kept to themselves and i found it hard to make new friends as i was from a big family too/ i moved from upstate NY to California /  i was real homesick /but now there are cell phones and facebook /should help

 

and congratulations 

make his problems smooth and keep the romance alive

[George & Roth 1,485]

-> One big help is to find the foods your fiance loves. I located 3 Asian food stores and my wife (Cambodian) loves them. Unfortunately, she is a slow shopper and I am stuck moving about the stores like a sloth. I hate shopping but she likes to go together.... the things we do for love! 

 

-> Find restaurants. We would eat authentic Thai food regularly in Cambodia, I located a few good ones near our home and she is happy. 

 

-> I made sure she had a way to get around until the driving license was sorted. 

 

-> I also think that we had another child keeps us so busy it is hard to have time to feel homesick but I'm not going to suggest you go and get pregnant for that reason 🤪

 

All of that and she/he is still going to miss home. Being away from family is tough! She does like to talk about our trip back to visit, even though it won't be soon it's seemed to help when we talk about it a bit. 

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

6 hours ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

Yeah, LA is incredible for it’s little pockets of communities - I love Little Tokyo (for the restaurants and the environment) and Thai Town (for the supermarkets containing all the ingredients that you’ll never find in Ralph’s)...

 

My fiancé is American born, but of Filipino origin - and there’s a certain restaurant in Eagle Rock (can’t for the life of me remember what it’s called!) that he’s taken me too, because they make pancit and lumpia just like his mum makes it 😍😆. It sure is a small world!

Yeah I know and that's what I loved about the LA area in general. It has people from all over there in different parts of the city. If wanted Filipino or Armenian/MENA food I would go to Glendale, if I wanted Persian food there are places in the SFV to go to, if I wanted Asian food then the SGV is the place to be. Did you know there are more Armenians in the LA area than in the capital of Armenia?

 

There is a really good filipino market and take home food called Arco where the food is always good to take home. 

[purem4g1c 113]

Well I am from Ottawa Ontario, and even if I go to Toronto it feels like a total different place and I don't feel at "home" anymore. Yes I am in the same country, but it doesn't have a "home" feel probably because lack of time to adjust to how that city moves. I have also been to Montreal a lot of times and that doesn't feel like home either! So I think its mostly just a time to adapt thing. Also due to the fact you don't "know" anyone there... But strangely when I go to America and I am with my fiance I feel at home where ever I go.

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

4 hours ago, NikLR said:

Pfft everyone has a beard.  

Yeah and if I try to grow a beard I am threatened with no fun time. 

[TBoneTX 43,194]

Bill said earlier that he made sure to refer to his house as "our house."

Excellent idea.

Female beneficiaries will appreciate being able to (re)decorate.

Extend the same opportunity to your dude.

Offer him a room or a wall where he can hang his shotgun, moose antlers, or whatever.

 

I'm reminded of what the arriving wife-to-be of a buddy of mine did.  She spent just about a full day on 4 flights from Ecuador, arrived at his house, marched into his bedroom closet, and immediately began tossing out clothes that she deemed beneath her standards.  (This was her first act!)  The next day, she pulled his antlers off the den wall, plus other outrages.  (Had Mrs. T-B.-to-be tried any of this, her shapely hindquarters would have been on the next scheduled conveyance back to Ecu; fortunately, I had no antlers.)

[TBoneTX 43,194]

As an additional idea to relieve the housebound tedium of his pre-AOS/AP/EAD status, consider dropping him at the student center of a local college/university (oodles in San Antonio, so chances are you have one nearby) when you go to work, then pick him up that evening.  No need to do this every day, but once or twice a week would be a treat.

Edited April 28, 2019 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 43,194]

This idea was proposed by the member Darnell, years ago, in terms of finding work.

You might apply it to your K-1 arrival.

He'll meet people, practice his English, feel valued, and make employment contacts for later.

------------------------

Each city has a chamber of commerce. Find it.

Once you find it - talk with the secretary - tell her you want a schedule of events and let her know you'd like to attend.

Then - go in person to the Chamber of Commerce Office - talk with the President of the Chamber, tell him/her you want to volunteer at several of their events.

Attendees at chamber events are business owners and sales geeks, all looking for new business.  It usually is an informal-enough gathering where you can approach people and talk with them.

Now, the cool thing about being a volunteer there - is that you will be talking to everyone at least once - you might be at the reception table, you might be at the greeters table, you might help to run the audio/video system - whatever - but - the point is that you can meet everyone there, face to face.

Attend 2 or 3 of these, and folk remember you. When folk remember you, they will remember you are seeking employment and will consider you, because you're just not some name on a piece of paper - they met you at a chamber event and know that you were volunteering, helping out the chamber.

Go Get Em, and Good Luck!

PS - live in a really small town? go to the biggest town that's within 15 miles of your house.

[Zoeeeeeee 796]

20 hours ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

Yeah I know and that's what I loved about the LA area in general. It has people from all over there in different parts of the city. If wanted Filipino or Armenian/MENA food I would go to Glendale, if I wanted Persian food there are places in the SFV to go to, if I wanted Asian food then the SGV is the place to be. Did you know there are more Armenians in the LA area than in the capital of Armenia?

 

There is a really good filipino market and take home food called Arco where the food is always good to take home. 

Oh awesome, I’ll let my fiancé know (I guarantee that he’ll mansplain to me that Arco is actually a gas station and assume I’m confused initially 😆😆).

 

I lived in Burbank (which is where he works, hence us meeting) - and found the valley has loads of fantastic food options...Herschell lives in Valencia (Santa Clarita) though, where I don’t think there is as great a range...however, I’m making it my mission to find some good options up there - discovered an amazing Thai place on my last trip, which has definitely been added to the visit again list 🙃. 

[Zoeeeeeee 796]

Just now, Zoeeeeeee said:

Oh awesome, I’ll let my fiancé know (I guarantee that he’ll mansplain to me that Arco is actually a gas station and assume I’m confused initially 😆😆).

 

I lived in Burbank (which is where he works, hence us meeting) - and found the valley has loads of fantastic food options...Herschell lives in Valencia (Santa Clarita) though, where I don’t think there is as great a range...however, I’m making it my mission to find some good options up there - discovered an amazing Thai place on my last trip, which has definitely been added to the visit again list 🙃. 

In fact, that’s possibly something I’d add to the list of ways to help your newly settled fiancé with the transition - don’t just take him to your favourite places - encourage him to research and find places for you both to go, where it’s new to both of you - because then he’ll be able to opt for places that appeal to him, plus you both get to discover somewhere new, rather than just him🙃.

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

7 hours ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

Oh awesome, I’ll let my fiancé know (I guarantee that he’ll mansplain to me that Arco is actually a gas station and assume I’m confused initially 😆😆).

 

I lived in Burbank (which is where he works, hence us meeting) - and found the valley has loads of fantastic food options...Herschell lives in Valencia (Santa Clarita) though, where I don’t think there is as great a range...however, I’m making it my mission to find some good options up there - discovered an amazing Thai place on my last trip, which has definitely been added to the visit again list 🙃. 

Santa Clarita is like suburban USA and it's ok but no where near the choices like the valley. I used to go to the AMC in Burbank alot because it's a good movie theater. Also if you go on a Friday/Saturday night  because they have brochures to do free advance showings of movies before they officially come out.

Edited April 28, 2019 by Cyberfx1024

[Zoeeeeeee 796]

17 hours ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

Santa Clarita is like suburban USA and it's ok but no where near the choices like the valley. I used to go to the AMC in Burbank alot because it's a good movie theater. Also if you go on a Friday/Saturday night  because they have brochures to do free advance showings of movies before they officially come out.

It totally is the suburbs of LA - which, being in our 30s and planning a family, is perfect for us (nice schools, very safe environment, houses with gardens) - however, it’s only 30 minutes to the valley or 40 minutes to No-Ho, so I love it (downside is when we’re out with friends though,  - only one of us can drink, so the other can drive, as it would cost a fortune in Uber’s - reserved for special occasions only). The lack of good restaurants is definitely one of it’s minuses 😖.

 

The Burbank AMC’s are great - thanks for the tip re advance screenings! 

Edited April 29, 2019 by Zoeeeeeee