Prenup Stating if he Divorces me he has to Pay Back Expenses

[Wooderz 314]

You can't tell me you're not nervous as heck about that dead when the conditions are removed. I've sure you've heard about the stories of people, especially men, who have been taken to the cleaners by unscrupulous foreigners seeking that coveted green card. I understand you married for love but why not protect yourself just in case she wasn't in it for the same thing?

Pretty sure most people here are not actually nervous about being abandoned after ROC.... I have ZERO of those fears. Maybe get to know your fiance better so you can build trust...

[B_J 2,752]

I didn't want to worry about the pre-nup drama so I made a different choice.

I managed to live my life as a total failure and accumulated no assets at all. No worries for me.

Oddly enough, now that she's here and has taken over the finances, we're doing much better financially.

Happiness!

[WandY 430]

Nearly impossible to enforce. It is not a prenuptial because a prenuptial protects prior assets. No legitimate lawyer would draft such a document. It would likely be held to be unconscionable and therefore a void/voidable contract. Don't waste your time and/or money.

[Michael and Ganna 104]

It sounds like trust is a big issue here.....I set my wife up with a "Run away fund" of 15K.....anytime she feels like she needs to leave, she has money to last her a bit

[LionessDeon 2,060]

A nice little vacation 6 months ago? Maybe you need more time to get to know each other, build trust, and feel more confident about the relationship. LDRs are very difficult and trust takes time.

[aaron2020 11,651]

I am considering bringing my Filipino same sex partner over here and I am just paranoid by nature. I read all the stories of Americans who have been duped into marriage by unscrupulous foreigners seeking the coveted green card. I want to know can I have him sign a prenuptial agreement that states that if he divorces me shortly after getting his 10 year green card (which means after the 2 year waiting period) that he has to at least reimburse me for all the expenses to bring him here? Would that be enforceable in court?

It's highly doubtful that you will get a reimbursement clause enforced by a court. Be mindful of the legal agreements you sign with the US government to bring in your relative. Those would override any agreement you would have.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Believe me that was the plan. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself falling in love with someone so far away. It was just meant to be a nice little vacation 6 months ago. It just happened...

I think what you need is not a prenup, you need more time together with your partner before you bring him over. Get to know him better and build some trust. Like my very wise step mother-in-law once said: "It takes years before you truly know someone". After 6 months you have no idea. Don't rush into marriage. Spend more time with him, get to know him more.

[JR loves JR 196]

It really seems to come down to you wanting a guarantee that you will not be out financially if your relationship doesn't work out. But where are you going to draw the line and say these expenses are no longer part of immigration? Will he owe you for ALL the money that you spend on him after he steps foot on American soil until he's able to work and pay for his half of the living expenses? What about the financial losses he will incur from the time he quits his current job to the time that he's able to work in the US? Are you going to subtract those? Are you going to subtract out his pain and suffering because he's leaving his whole world behind for you? How much is your relationship worth to you? If it's got a dollar sign on it, then slow down. When you reach the point that you no longer care how much it might cost you financially because not being with that person is costing you emotionally so much more, THEN and only THEN, file for immigration.

[Russ&Caro 1,548]

You can't tell me you're not nervous as heck about that dead when the conditions are removed. I've sure you've heard about the stories of people, especially men, who have been taken to the cleaners by unscrupulous foreigners seeking that coveted green card. I understand you married for love but why not protect yourself just in case she wasn't in it for the same thing?

Pretty sure most people here are not actually nervous about being abandoned after ROC.... I have ZERO of those fears. Maybe get to know your fiance better so you can build trust...

Yeah, Wooderz, above, pretty much answered your question of me, for me. I think this gets back to your original comment about being "paranoid by nature". You might want to deal with that, first, then deal with gaining greater trust with your partner, second, and then worry about your finances, third.

[Rc123rc 528]

One of the biggest parts of my decision to pursue a long term relationship and then filing for a K-1 was trust. I was once in a horrible relationship both emotionally and financially. So, I was a bit paranoid at first about trusting someone again. Over time those fears went away and trust was built. But, it took time. 1000+ hours of video chats various times of the day, visit(s) seeing the person under stress and other circumstances. Understanding their personality and how they interact and treat others. Pre-nups are for protecting what you have. They aren't for getting expenses back if something goes wrong. That's called a "Warranty." You're not buying a product or service. I politely suggest you listen to what others have said before me. I can only reinforce the message to take your time, build trust and remember that in marriage/divorce situation, what is yours before the marriage stays yours. You can build a life and finances together without jeopardizing what you already have.

[blondedoc 35]

My partner decided to make a prenup but to protect my assests. He's the US citizen and I'm the applicant. And about this I decided to protect him too and state that if we divorce he don't need to pay child support for his step kids (my 2 kids).

And I was really happy that he did that.

I'm married because I love him insanely, he tells me that he is madly in love with me too, but we never know the future.

[Rc123rc 528]

My partner decided to make a prenup but to protect my assests. He's the US citizen and I'm the applicant. And about this I decided to protect him too and state that if we divorce he don't need to pay child support for his step kids (my 2 kids).

And I was really happy that he did that.

I'm married because I love him insanely, he tells me that he is madly in love with me too, but we never know the future.

Depending on the state, I'm not sure how valid a promise about child support yes/no is enforceable unless your spouse adopts your children legally. I'm only guessing here since I'm not a lawyer.

[3rd 84]

A prenup is to protect assets that you've earned, not to gain back what you've spent. In this case it sounds like a lack of trust rather than you trying to hold onto any wealth, which means you clearly need more time together. Prenups can be a big problem for a couple, and even suggesting it is going to create a lot of resentment.

[Starnexus 2]

Thank you guys for your advice. I have been hurt before. There was another Filipino that I thought loved me. Fortunately for me he didn't get any money out of me (which is why he left) but it did damage me. I don't understand how you guys can be so trusting though given the plethora of stories of Americans/Europeans/Australians being taken for a ride by unscrupulous people that will do/say anything to come here. I hear the stories all the time. When I was online I had so many scammers try to contact me with their sad stories and then requests for 'help'. I saw through them but there are always some that are really good and can pull the wool over your eyes. But really I have no assets. I am a student that just barely meets the income requirements to bring someone over here and in fact he would be the one working until I finish my graduate studies (in 3 years). But still he could always bounce as soon as he got here by claiming abuse or some other sinister means meaning I'd be out not just my money but my heart as well.

[heo luoi 206]

Yea I would agree I would be more interested in protecting my assets vs the punitive aspects the OP states of trying to recoup the costs.