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[almost_umrican 53]

Which was to encourage someone to stay in an abusive relationship

How do you know the intensity of abuse ?for example abuse in mexico have different meanings like they have in the US.whopping one's kid's behind is considered abuse here in US but not in some countries . does it ? he do not want to file the charges. he is an adult and can make his decisions. and how hard is it to understand that no one will advice someone to stay in a relationship and take the abuse. my point was it was on OP to decide what he calls abuse , whats the rapport amongst the couple.OP need not advice on a marital issue on this forum. he asked something about AOS and you guys turned it into judge judy court.

[almost_umrican 53]

There is domestic violence taking place in their marriage. This is nothing to take lightly and its likely to get worse. Imagine your brother/sister/son/daughter being assaulted by their partner a week into married life? You would tell them to run for the hills im sure.........

you preaching me domestic violence is irrelevant.the point was the OP is seeking AOS advice not a marital one.if he wants to live with the person and not to press charges. that is up to the adult.the buck stops at him. why have everyone turned a family barrister here and blowing things out of proportion. who does not know that abusive relationship is a bad one and never change ? its upto him to consider that.

[Amhara 460]

My fiance came here from the Philippines on a K! visa. It expires on April 25. We did get married last week. But my wife also got arrested last week for domestic violence. I was the victim. We haven't filed AOS yet, and we are worried that on May 17 (our court date) she will be deported. It's only a misdemeanor and I don't want to press charges. Should I file AOS right away even if I don't have all my papers together? If I get an RFE I can always fix it later. Should I hire a lawyer?

Your wife's K-1 visa expired when she entered, not at the end of April. You definitely need to consult with a lawyer. If she is going to get deported, then she might be deported with or without the AOS. I believe she needs to go through removal proceedings to get deported. But get with a lawyer before you file for AOS. How would you get the papers to your wife to sign before you mail them off? What if she's still in jail when she gets the biometrics appointment? If she's not free to attend the biometrics, you can kiss the $1,070 good bye if you can't reschedule.

Your domestic violence case is at the county level and deportation is at the federal level, but the federal government tends to make efforts to deport those that have committed crimes. She's legally present in the US based on your marriage, but yes, consult with a lawyer.

[Ortolan 381]

Talking to a lawyer who is competent in immigration issues is what you should do as soon as possible. If you don't want to press charges, (you seem to be sure it's a misdemeanor), then the lawyer can advise you further.

Sounds like you still want try and make your marriage work, so good luck to you.

[IguanaCouple 26]

If it were an American woman in his shoes people would be all over it telling her to go to a shelter and get a protection order. But, because he is a man, they should try and work it out?

Because he's a man, knew what he was getting into (based on his timelime) AND because he wants to stay in it (It's his judgment call). Women are more prone to DV and more prone to condoning it. Men much less so, so yes, the yardsticks are different.

I think it would be more helpful to give him advise on how to keep his wife outta more trouble.

[Ana y Leo 9]

:protest:

WOW this forum can be so intense people ask questions on here and can get hammered if the topics not to someones like.

Seriously he's grown he asked a question not for judgment. If he wants to stay he will if he wants to go he will.

I seriously will watch what I post because I DONT wanna get bashed.

Edited April 19, 2016 by Ana y Leo

[EM_Vandaveer 2,370]

Not all DV convictions are grounds of inadmissibility. That means AOS may be possible. Competent lawyer(s) are needed.

[Boiler 43,494]

Nobody knows the real numbers, but I doubt there is much difference between the Genders.

Much more difficult for a male to come out.

[Umka36 781]

Because he's a man, knew what he was getting into (based on his timelime) AND because he wants to stay in it (It's his judgment call). Women are more prone to DV and more prone to condoning it. Men much less so, so yes, the yardsticks are different.

I think it would be more helpful to give him advise on how to keep his wife outta more trouble.

Very easy answer about getting the wife outta trouble, the wife needs to stop abusing the OP. It's not the OP duty to teach her that, and I doubt the abuser is going to listen? I'm actually curious about who reported the wife for her to be arrested.

I don't agree with the double standard just because he is a man.

[Umka36 781]

:protest:

WOW this forum can be so intense people ask questions on here and can get hammered if the topics not to someones like.

Seriously he's grown he asked a question not for judgment. If he wants to stay he will if he wants to go he will.

I seriously will watch what I post because I DONT wanna get bashed.

People are actually concerned for his welfare, and it has nothing about bashing him.

Edited April 19, 2016 by Umka36

[Ontarkie 13,918]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits, from General Immigration ~~

[TheResistance 6]

TheJollyRajah, I have been reading up on this post. I am sorry to hear. Of all the posts I do get to read, based on time, this is the first I have seen where the attack on the male occurred. Maybe it was a slap, or worse. I do not know, but I take it equally on who it is done to but yes, as men, we tend to take a bigger beating. Well, unless she is a three time martial arts champion, then I think I may even have a hard time not screaming like a girl... wait, this about you, sorry..... I see people gave you advice on several fronts. Dude, I would not know what to do in your situation, but if it is something mental, it possibly could be helped (prayer, medications, counseling [faith based ones, not the "divorce then" ones]). You mentioned her seeing someone in your timeline. So, maybe she is sick, or had abuse as a child and it stuck with her and anyone can be a victim, or she was hurt in an accident and it affected her brain. Point is, only you know the full story. You make your decisions and complete the needed tasks, then update the people here. The people who care about you here will want to know how things are going. Keep up to date here.

Good luck. God be with you.

[Cathi 5,610]

no, you guys failed to understand my point.

ok, what was your point? domestic violence is never a way to start a marriage. She had a troubled past and he chose accept it and look where he is now. Please enlighten us.

Edited April 20, 2016 by mimolicious

[Cathi 5,610]

How do you know the intensity of abuse ?for example abuse in mexico have different meanings like they have in the US.whopping one's kid's behind is considered abuse here in US but not in some countries . does it ? he do not want to file the charges. he is an adult and can make his decisions. and how hard is it to understand that no one will advice someone to stay in a relationship and take the abuse. my point was it was on OP to decide what he calls abuse , whats the rapport amongst the couple.OP need not advice on a marital issue on this forum. he asked something about AOS and you guys turned it into judge judy court.

and to your point.how do YOU know the level??????

[Ana y Leo 9]

People are actually concerned for his welfare, and it has nothing about bashing him.

I see that on some fronts but It turned hes grown this is his journey he just wanted to get someone with experiance with this to give him an answer.

at the end of the day his life his journey people came out saying he knew she was like this and so on. Hurtful words no one knows what it feels like to have someone you love put a hand on you. Especially if you are comitted to them he loves her whether she has issues or not.

☹️ This is a though journey money time lack of support are all on the line people make mistakes. Last thing you need is a group of people with part of the story jumping to all kinds of conclusions.

Edited April 20, 2016 by Ana y Leo