My wife hates everything here.

[Rich and Wen 101]

Are you in the city or suburbs? My wife asked this. If your wife came from the city, the suburbs will be difficult for her. Give her some autonomy, control over her own life. Find out what public transit goes near your home, if any, and make sure she can travel to Chinatown or visit her friends while you are not available. Buy a transit card, auto reloadable so she will not run out of rides while she is away from home. Give her some cash to spend as she chooses.

Remember, your wife was a fully functioning adult in China. Now she has put herself in your hands, and the dynamic between you is more of parent/child, since she is dependent on you for everything. You must be more supportive than you ever thought possible, more understanding than you are used to, and more accepting than ever. You brought her over here, now you must man up and help her in the way she needs to be helped. "You help your wife=you help your marriage=you help yourself" That is a direct quote from my wife.

Your marriage depends on this.

[agnesuna 6]

I say take her out on a nice romantic date and help each other remember why you love each other and decided to get married and live in America together. I know I'm having a very hard time adjusting to my new life in the states and even though I live in my dream home in a beautiful neighborhood, am married to the man of my dreams and speak the language fluently I have bad days where I miss everything and everyone and it can be extremely lonely when you feel like you don't fit in anywhere. Hang in there and try to get her to talk to you about how she's feeling and what you can do together to make this easier for her.

[llindsay 21]

There were days I wanted to chuck her out the window and I am sure she felt the same way, 4 years later there are stll times I want to chuck her out the window but then I think I would be lost with out her.

omg I couldn't stop laughing at this one...well im not at this phase yet but I like to read what others say so I can be well prepared as my fiancé is about to do her medical and then interview next week. So im taking notes...

[Sandra G. 5,016]

I could live in Sierra Leone, Congo, Afghanistan if the love of my life is with me.Sorry, but this drama that she hates everything here, I just can't stand. There are hundreds of flights every week to China. I would buy her one way ticket to China.

Edited June 3, 2014 by sandranj

[Krikit 1,163]

I could live in Sierra Leone, Congo, Afghanistan if the love of my life is with me.Sorry, but this drama that she hates everything here, I just can't stand. There are hundred of flights every week to China. I would buy her a ticket,one way.

Have you ever had to?

[Sandra G. 5,016]

krikt yes I lived before in dangerous places and lost places with him, such as Yakutsk,East of Siberia (winter there is 40 minus), Ethiopia and Ciudad del Lest.

[Krikit 1,163]

krikt yes I lived before in dangerous places and lost places with him, such as Yakutsk,East of Siberia (winter there is 40 minus), Ethiopia and Ciudad del Lest.

You are a much braver lady than I! I would have called it quits at Yakutsk.

[Krikit 1,163]

I would just like to try to shed a light on the "I hate" bit. What she is hating is the loss of everything she knows; and that includes her independence. She is just choosing the wrong words to express it.

[Dieseltu 19]

Here's my last 15 minutes. I just washed the dinner dishes and got bitched out. I Cleaned the crockpot. I'm not allowed to use dish soap , because its poison. She don't like the way I wash dishes, clean the floor, wash clothes, what Tupperware I use, anything. I'm literally not joking . She wanted to know what I was putting in the food. She came out on the porch to tell me a Tupperware was cracked and I shouldn't of used it. To put the food away. But a few weeks ago I said to trash it and she said no. I was told I'm lazy, dirty and messy. I stepped in a spot of water and will dirty the whole house. I cant figure out how she uses the sink. Half the dishes in each side and if they get mixed she washes them and boils some silverware. The housing thing is about her apartment in China. There's no maintenance , painting, walls or wood, or anything because there's no yards to cut, or wood, or heat, or trees, or underground pipes for water and heat, Or snow to tear things up. So no maintenance. So she don't like the housing here. The weather. Or that we have to drive everywhere. But she liked the indoor heat and hot showers all winter!!

And we are in the city. On a very nice street. But she hates it. But she just figured out that leaving the cities in the States is better. Verses staying in the city centers in China. I don't complain about anything Chinese. I married a Chinese woman. And I like her the way she is. But its not working for her.

[Dieseltu 19]

And she is serious about going back to China. And wants a divorce first.

[Sam and Fen 41]

Here's my last 15 minutes. I just washed the dinner dishes and got bitched out. I Cleaned the crockpot. I'm not allowed to use dish soap , because its poison. She don't like the way I wash dishes, clean the floor, wash clothes, what Tupperware I use, anything. I'm literally not joking . She wanted to know what I was putting in the food. She came out on the porch to tell me a Tupperware was cracked and I shouldn't of used it. To put the food away. But a few weeks ago I said to trash it and she said no. I was told I'm lazy, dirty and messy. I stepped in a spot of water and will dirty the whole house. I cant figure out how she uses the sink. Half the dishes in each side and if they get mixed she washes them and boils some silverware. The housing thing is about her apartment in China. There's no maintenance , painting, walls or wood, or anything because there's no yards to cut, or wood, or heat, or trees, or underground pipes for water and heat, Or snow to tear things up. So no maintenance. So she don't like the housing here. The weather. Or that we have to drive everywhere. But she liked the indoor heat and hot showers all winter!!

And we are in the city. On a very nice street. But she hates it. But she just figured out that leaving the cities in the States is better. Verses staying in the city centers in China. I don't complain about anything Chinese. I married a Chinese woman. And I like her the way she is. But its not working for her.

Sorry, not much here I have not already heard from my wife.

My attitude is simple, you don't like how I do it, no problem, you do it dear, I will park my fat #### in front of the TV with a cold beer in one hand and remote in the other. Win Win.

As far as going back to China, I would wait for the GC and then buy her a return ticket with an open return date, she might need a reality check. If she comes back she wont conplain any more (at least not as much).

Edited June 3, 2014 by Sam and Fen

[Krikit 1,163]

Post violating the warning has been removed and member banned from thread.

[QueenComley 295]

I would just like to try to shed a light on the "I hate" bit. What she is hating is the loss of everything she knows; and that includes her independence. She is just choosing the wrong words to express it.

100% Agree.

[Fan_Dancer 171]

My first year in the US was a breeze, felt like I was in a prolonged vacation. The second year is a , I am starting to figure out that I am here to stay and to put a life together.

[Novembro 1,763]

Get this lady a job...or a social group...a gym membership...anything to keep her occupied and get her to experience life outside of "I hate".

I like everything here except...I have to hugs males. In my country, friends with opposite sex just shaking hands without touching bodies. Women are hugging and kiss on cheeks. But not for men. One time, I went to military party and one of my husband's friends came to us.

I got so used to the non-handshaking, non-embracing Korean style that I came back and still hesitate to shake people's hands. It makes for some wonderfully awkward introductions.

Edited June 3, 2014 by Novembro