The other side of deportation: An American struggles to prepare for life without husband

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

That's just the point. We don't know the whole story.

Everyone is sitting here playing a guessing game as to what went wrong. It could have been carelesness - there's no denying that.

What I don't get is why people who HAVE seen full-on what immigration is like - why they have no empathy for people who get it wrong. It's so easy to just pass judgment. And it's so easy to be bitter.

I managed to get my husband here pretty easily. We have other immigration plans that aren't going so well, but we'll figure that out somehow if it's meant to be. We've got other obstacles too - they're harder and I'm not going to get into them here. Having though somehow - by whatever lucky star I was born under - why I was so lucky to have found my husband, and have whatever time I've got with, wherever and however we are having it, for that I am truly blessed. It didn't come easy. It's not easy now. But - I wouldn't for a million dollars wish that someone else be kept from knowing what I am lucky enough to have.

What exists between husband and wife goes beyond immigration and stupid rules of countries. It's not exempt from these rules - I know that. But I wouldn't wish sorrow on anyone because of the processes. I just can't go there.

(edited because sometimes I can't spell)

Edited May 28, 2014 by Rebecca Jo

[Avery Cates 1,141]

That's just the point. We don't know the whole story.

A criminal and danger to the community is being removed from the country. What else is there to know?

[Boiler 43,481]

It would be interesting to know why adjustment was not an option, not that is ever likely, does not fit the story the 'journalist' wished to portray.

[thedude6752000 360]

What I don't get is why people who HAVE seen full-on what immigration is like - why they have no empathy for people who get it wrong. It's so easy to just pass judgment. And it's so easy to be bitter.

What you're not considering is that he even could have adjusted status is outrageous. My wife has never met anyone in my family. I have been to India 3 times but she has never been here once. Because of the crimes of selfish immigration criminals like this guy, she was denied a student visa to come here because she's not rich. It's because of ####### like this guy who use student and other non-immigration visas as de facto greencards that our wives and husbands can't come to visit us.

He came on a student visa, not a come-over-and-stay-15-years-till-you-find-a-spouse visa. He should have left when it was time to go. Because he and millions of others did not, my wife had to pay for their crimes when she went for her student visa interview and got denied 5 minutes after it began.

I am extremely glad that the law was actually applied in this case, what angers me is that there are millions of other visa fraudsters who get away with cheating the system and hurt people like me and my wife who follow the rules. I "understand" all too well what it is that they wanted to do, cheat the system, that's why I am so adamantly opposed to it.

Edited May 28, 2014 by thedude6752000

[belinda63 2,981]

Something else I just noticed as I re-read the article. He continued to work at Best Buy until a week prior to leaving. What the heck was he doing being allowed to work illegally with deportation proceedings going on? And is anyone going to investigate Best Buy for employing an illegal worker?

She married him knowing he was in deportation proceedings. She married him knowing there was a good chance he would not be able to stay. Now she wants us to feel sorry for her?

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

the dude -

I know you are having a hard time. I actually check up on you from time to time to see how your case is going. And I don't really come around here that much anymore. I return once in a while, to see how people are doing. It's always been the specific cases - the people involved - that keep me coming back.

Anyway - I understand your frustration. I won't dismiss it.

All I can do is hope for you that one day, you'll have peace with all this. These processes and procedures. At least they are just the laws of man. We can somehow control and manipulate those things. The laws of nature - not so much. Both the laws of man and nature will continue to affect your life and marriage.

Someday I hope you'll understand. But I do hope you won't have to understand as deeply as I have come to learn it.

edited again because I forgot to add the address

Edited May 29, 2014 by Rebecca Jo

[r060106 109]

I'm not sorry. He was here long enough to do the legal steps to stay. We who are going through the legal visa steps know all to well... how life is without our spouses and loved ones. If you don't want to be separated and /or deported, come here legally. Or take the steps offered to you to stay legally. I am not sorry for someone who broke the law.

Amen.

What you're not considering is that he even could have adjusted status is outrageous. My wife has never met anyone in my family. I have been to India 3 times but she has never been here once. Because of the crimes of selfish immigration criminals like this guy, she was denied a student visa to come here because she's not rich. It's because of ####### like this guy who use student and other non-immigration visas as de facto greencards that our wives and husbands can't come to visit us.

He came on a student visa, not a come-over-and-stay-15-years-till-you-find-a-spouse visa. He should have left when it was time to go. Because he and millions of others did not, my wife had to pay for their crimes when she went for her student visa interview and got denied 5 minutes after it began.

I am extremely glad that the law was actually applied in this case, what angers me is that there are millions of other visa fraudsters who get away with cheating the system and hurt people like me and my wife who follow the rules. I "understand" all too well what it is that they wanted to do, cheat the system, that's why I am so adamantly opposed to it.

Second amen. Very well said.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

Reading the story made left me a bit.. unphased.. The pictures made it real. I feel for them.. The article left a lot out.

He had his first DUI (I say first because the article may imply a second) almost five years ago and that is when he started going through deportation proceedings. Target gave him a job and for whatever reason did not know he was illegal but they certainly knew in 2009 and yet he was still working there up until the end (they were shopping with the employee discount).. Why is that OK? Ironically his position would require him to check status for those he hired.

Many more questions but hes gone.. not much point.

[Boiler 43,481]

Best Buy not Target, perhaps they are looking to expand?

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

That's just the point. We don't know the whole story.

Everyone is sitting here playing a guessing game as to what went wrong. It could have been carelesness - there's no denying that.

What I don't get is why people who HAVE seen full-on what immigration is like - why they have no empathy for people who get it wrong. It's so easy to just pass judgment. And it's so easy to be bitter.

I managed to get my husband here pretty easily. We have other immigration plans that aren't going so well, but we'll figure that out somehow if it's meant to be. We've got other obstacles too - they're harder and I'm not going to get into them here. Having though somehow - by whatever lucky star I was born under - why I was so lucky to have found my husband, and have whatever time I've got with, wherever and however we are having it, for that I am truly blessed. It didn't come easy. It's not easy now. But - I wouldn't for a million dollars wish that someone else be kept from knowing what I am lucky enough to have.

What exists between husband and wife goes beyond immigration and stupid rules of countries. It's not exempt from these rules - I know that. But I wouldn't wish sorrow on anyone because of the processes. I just can't go there.

(edited because sometimes I can't spell)

Like I said in my first post, I do feel for them. I really do. But, this situation is of their own making and for them to blame anyone else for it is what makes me upset. I do hope they find a way to be together...wherever. I suppose I feel worse for the wife, who probably had NO idea what immigration is like especially with her husbands issues.

[Neela & Jitu 79]

Why can't she live with him in Bangladesh?

Because she loves her job & house more than her husband.

[Neela & Jitu 79]

"It was only when his mind wandered beyond the list into his uncertain future that a wave of nausea began to rise from his stomach to his throat. Dhaka. Tomorrow. How many people lived there now, anyway? Five million? Fifteen? Could he get an Internet connection at home so he could communicate with his wife?

But during Zunaid’s junior year, his father ran out of money and stopped making tuition payments, and Zunaid dropped out of school and started working at Best Buy. He stopped calling home and drank hard on the weekends. When his father died, he didn’t find out until a few months later, over e-mail. Now he was going back to Bangladesh with no degree and less than $2,000 in cash, leaving the rest with Salaty

The only item remaining on his list was to buy presents for relatives, so they left the sushi restaurant and drove to Best Buy to use his employee discount. “Do these things even work over there?” Zunaid wondered, picking out a Bluetooth headset for his uncle. “Will they understand this?” he said, choosing a DVD for the nieces and nephews he had yet to meet."-The Washington post

I think this guy is very selfish. He undervalued his own fellows. I feel pity for him but no sympathy.

Edited May 30, 2014 by Neela & Jitu

[zuluweta 250]

"It was only when his mind wandered beyond the list into his uncertain future that a wave of nausea began to rise from his stomach to his throat. Dhaka. Tomorrow. How many people lived there now, anyway? Five million? Fifteen? Could he get an Internet connection at home so he could communicate with his wife?

But during Zunaid’s junior year, his father ran out of money and stopped making tuition payments, and Zunaid dropped out of school and started working at Best Buy. He stopped calling home and drank hard on the weekends. When his father died, he didn’t find out until a few months later, over e-mail. Now he was going back to Bangladesh with no degree and less than $2,000 in cash, leaving the rest with Salaty

The only item remaining on his list was to buy presents for relatives, so they left the sushi restaurant and drove to Best Buy to use his employee discount. “Do these things even work over there?” Zunaid wondered, picking out a Bluetooth headset for his uncle. “Will they understand this?” he said, choosing a DVD for the nieces and nephews he had yet to meet."-The Washington post

I think this guy is very selfish. He undervalued his own fellows. I feel pity for him but no sympathy.

My gut tells me they will understand how to play DVDs and bluetooth headsets in Bangladesh. Dhaka is a major city. It's not like in the boonies. He seems to have a condescending attitude towards his fellow countrymen.

He was already undergoing deportation when he met and subsequently married his wife. That's a red flag right there that tells USCIS his marriage is quite suspect.

[Boiler 43,481]

Probably most were made there.

[Neela & Jitu 79]

My gut tells me they will understand how to play DVDs and bluetooth headsets in Bangladesh. Dhaka is a major city. It's not like in the boonies. He seems to have a condescending attitude towards his fellow countrymen.

He was already undergoing deportation when he met and subsequently married his wife. That's a red flag right there that tells USCIS his marriage is quite suspect.

You are absolutely right. Funny thing is, they are complaining against immigration laws when they don't even follow the law.

It seems he doesn't have any love or respect towards his father and the country he was born; how could he aspect love & respect from others?