stepdaughter will not arrive unless we allow boyfriend to arrive

[Cathi 5,624]

You can't just simply bring her boyfriend here, there are no visas for step daughters boyfriends. If he wants to come here he has to apply for a student visa on his own. End of story.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

I need some direction on this moral issue please....my wife and I recently married and applied for I 485. Originally her daughter was to go to college in Moscow for three years. we were to pay 500 per month for her schooling. now because of new laws for out of country students studying in Russia, (they must leave every three months) it is difficult for her to school there. And my wife misses her daughter so she wants daughter here. She is age 17 and this is not a problem for me, we have the extra bedroom and college is walking distance away. But daughter will not arrive unless we provide for her 18 year old boyfriend to arrive a year later, at which time he would go to college also. I don't wish for my new family to be responsible for the boyfriend. At age 58, I think I am too old for this added responsibility. or is this greed on my part? please comment. thank you.

To all that has been already said:

Your obligation is to provide for spouse. A 17 yr old is more or lees in the fence (almost and adult). There is ZERO obligation to care for a BF. What's next ? the BF mom because now he's nostalgic and needs mommy??

If by some miracle he gets a student visa, it's up to him to find his funding.

I've notice that there was no mention of what would he would be studying, or whether he's even qualified for college. Same applies for daughter of course.

Not saying they have no basic education, but you don't just bring up the desire to go to college and it magically happens; there is an admission process, that takes months, years for an international student -right now, it is barely on time for 2015 Fall admittance and that is not accounting for the visa requirements.

I need some direction on this moral issue please....my wife and I recently married and applied for I 485. Originally her daughter was to go to college in Moscow for three years. we were to pay 500 per month for her schooling. now because of new laws for out of country students studying in Russia, (they must leave every three months) it is difficult for her to school there. And my wife misses her daughter so she wants daughter here. She is age 17 and this is not a problem for me, we have the extra bedroom and college is walking distance away. But daughter will not arrive unless we provide for her 18 year old boyfriend to arrive a year later, at which time he would go to college also. I don't wish for my new family to be responsible for the boyfriend. At age 58, I think I am too old for this added responsibility. or is this greed on my part? please comment. thank you.

To all that has been already said:

Your obligation is to provide for spouse. A 17 yr old is more or lees in the fence (almost and adult). There is ZERO obligation to care for a BF. What's next ? the BF mom because now he's nostalgic and needs mommy??

If by some miracle he gets a student visa, it's up to him to find his funding.

I've notice that there was no mention of what would he would be studying, or whether he's even qualified for college. Same applies for daughter of course.

Not saying they have no basic education, but you don't just bring up the desire to go to college and it magically happens; there is an admission process, that takes months, years for an international student -right now, it is barely on time for 2015 Fall admittance and that is not accounting for the visa requirements.

[USAmale 1]

I sponsored my estranged wife and her minor daughter. No matter how much pressure the daughter and your wife put on you, I don't believe that there is a visa category where you could sponsor him in any way, since he is not a blood relative.

throw it back on him, saying that you have looked into it and there is not way for your to do it. Let him apply for a Tourist Visa himself. Also, no matter how much they pressure you, you cannot apply for his tourist visa for him...it's all on him.

Best,

USAmale

[Dave&Roza 748]

Just so you know. A student visa from Kazakhstan is very easy to obtain and does not require more than about a month IF there is a sponsor in the US for all finances. All you have to show is that you have applied and been accepted to a college in the US. So the idea that the BF might or will not or have a hard time is not correct in this instance--assuming he can find a college that accepts him, but how hard it that as most colleges only seem to care about money these days. That might be why the step-daughter and wife are acting the way they are as they have researched this and KNOW that the bf will not have much of a problem getting a student visa if the OP sponsors the BF financially.

I do not know the consequences saying you will sponsor the BF, but I do know the consequences of not standing up to the wife. Since she did come over here with you without the daughter, she was willing to let the daughter live on her own in Kazakhstan most likely with relatives. You must understand that the Kazakhs are very family oriented and now for some reason some member of the family has made your wife realize that she MUST take care of this situation. Now it is up to you to tell the wife HOW this will unfold. YOU MUST BE STRONG. YOU MUST STICK BY YOUR PRINCIPLES. TELL the wife how it will be and then let HER decide how SHE will proceed in regards to this situation with the daughter. To do otherwise jeopardizes your marriage. As I stated before, your wife picked you because you will not get drunk and beat her like most Kazakh men do. The fact that you make good money is another plus. Coming to the US may or may not be a good thing, but she decided to do so. The US is not perfect--far from it. There are many things that are better in Kazakhstan. If I could find a good paying job in my field in Kazakhstan, I would seriously think about moving there. My wife has been here three years now and she is seeing that the US is not that bad after all, but it took me standing up to her and telling her that if she ever says she is going home she WILL be on the next plane home.

Sorry for the length, but I just wanted to let the OP know that the BF can easily get a student visa should the OP decide to provide financial support. I would check into this as I do not know what this means. I never looked into it because my then GF did not come to the US on the student visa and I could of cared less about the consequences (I signed the I-864 four years later ) . So think this thru as it would appear the BF and step-daughter, and you wife have already researched this.

Good Luck,

Dave

[Boiler 43,804]

Just so you know. A student visa from Kazakhstan is very easy to obtain and does not require more than about a month IF there is a sponsor in the US for all finances. All you have to show is that you have applied and been accepted to a college in the US. So the idea that the BF might or will not or have a hard time is not correct in this instance--assuming he can find a college that accepts him, but how hard it that as most colleges only seem to care about money these days. That might be why the step-daughter and wife are acting the way they are as they have researched this and KNOW that the bf will not have much of a problem getting a student visa if the OP sponsors the BF financially.

I do not know the consequences saying you will sponsor the BF, but I do know the consequences of not standing up to the wife. Since she did come over here with you without the daughter, she was willing to let the daughter live on her own in Kazakhstan most likely with relatives. You must understand that the Kazakhs are very family oriented and now for some reason some member of the family has made your wife realize that she MUST take care of this situation. Now it is up to you to tell the wife HOW this will unfold. YOU MUST BE STRONG. YOU MUST STICK BY YOUR PRINCIPLES. TELL the wife how it will be and then let HER decide how SHE will proceed in regards to this situation with the daughter. To do otherwise jeopardizes your marriage. As I stated before, your wife picked you because you will not get drunk and beat her like most Kazakh men do. The fact that you make good money is another plus. Coming to the US may or may not be a good thing, but she decided to do so. The US is not perfect--far from it. There are many things that are better in Kazakhstan. If I could find a good paying job in my field in Kazakhstan, I would seriously think about moving there. My wife has been here three years now and she is seeing that the US is not that bad after all, but it took me standing up to her and telling her that if she ever says she is going home she WILL be on the next plane home.

Sorry for the length, but I just wanted to let the OP know that the BF can easily get a student visa should the OP decide to provide financial support. I would check into this as I do not know what this means. I never looked into it because my then GF did not come to the US on the student visa and I could of cared less about the consequences (I signed the I-864 four years later ) . So think this thru as it would appear the BF and step-daughter, and you wife have already researched this.

Good Luck,

Dave

So why is Kazakhstan so different when it comes to Student Visa's?

[AmyWrites 593]

Just so you know. A student visa from Kazakhstan is very easy to obtain and does not require more than about a month IF there is a sponsor in the US for all finances. All you have to show is that you have applied and been accepted to a college in the US. So the idea that the BF might or will not or have a hard time is not correct in this instance--assuming he can find a college that accepts him, but how hard it that as most colleges only seem to care about money these days. That might be why the step-daughter and wife are acting the way they are as they have researched this and KNOW that the bf will not have much of a problem getting a student visa if the OP sponsors the BF financially.

No, see, no. There's no different, official set of rules for different countries (few exceptions). However, there is still absolutely no reason for him to; a. get on the hook for yet another immigrant b. pay very expensive US tuition for a guy who's probably a stranger to him.

[Dave&Roza 748]

So why is Kazakhstan so different when it comes to Student Visa's?

No, see, no. There's no different, official set of rules for different countries (few exceptions). However, there is still absolutely no reason for him to; a. get on the hook for yet another immigrant b. pay very expensive US tuition for a guy who's probably a stranger to him.

That maybe, but I am just telling about MY experience with a student visa from the Consulate in Almaty. It was very easy to obtain and did not take that long. I agree that the OP should not do this, but I want him to be aware that the BF, Daughter, and his wife may have already researched this and if they can get him to sign up to sponsor the BF then he can get to the US on a student visa.

I will say that my then GF was in her late thirties and not twentyish like the BF. THAT may have aided in the ease of obtaining the student visa. I have seem several people my wife knew when she worked at a local college granted student visas to the US and other foreign countries. Just throwing this out there for the OP so that he can plan his course of action accordingly.

Dave

Edited January 19, 2014 by Dave&Roza

[Me_Theo 25]

One day their graduation will come and they will be thanking you for helping them. If not you, who else will be their hero?

Don't try to be hero for one woman you live with her under one month in one home.

Let she goes to her country. A man can be hero after knows the person ( woman) has deserve for it. By my information about this kind people. this lady ( your wife) just is a abuse person. under one month she wants big things like this. just image after 1 year what she will want. Let she goes back the place she belong there. Don't let she and her daughter make your life a big Drama, Don't Filled out AOS too . Just give divorce to her also buy a ticket one way for her./don't waste time.

[Boiler 43,804]

You said your GF did not come to the US on a F1, which is it?

[scienceworks 64]

No, see, no. There's no different, official set of rules for different countries (few exceptions). However, there is still absolutely no reason for him to; a. get on the hook for yet another immigrant b. pay very expensive US tuition for a guy who's probably a stranger to him.

Getting a student Visa is not the problem, but supporting 3 souls.

[AmyWrites 593]

That maybe, but I am just telling about MY experience with a student visa from the Consulate in Almaty. It was very easy to obtain and did not take that long. I agree that the OP should not do this, but I want him to be aware that the BF, Daughter, and his wife may have already researched this and if they can get him to sign up to sponsor the BF then he can get to the US on a student visa.

I will say that my then GF was in her late thirties and not twentyish like the BF. THAT may have aided in the ease of obtaining the student visa. I have seem several people my wife knew when she worked at a local college granted student visas to the US and other foreign countries. Just throwing this out there for the OP so that he can plan his course of action accordingly.

Dave

Anecdotes are not evidence.

But, let's say BF, daughter and wife are researching this. Wife being so emotionally invested in her 17 year old's daughter's relationship is bizarre, especially knowing daughter has better chances stateside. I don't want to think it's that daughter's boyfriend actually has something going on with wife, but that's my gut reaction.

[Neonred 3,461]

Anecdotes are not evidence.

But, let's say BF, daughter and wife are researching this. Wife being so emotionally invested in her 17 year old's daughter's relationship is bizarre, especially knowing daughter has better chances stateside. I don't want to think it's that daughter's boyfriend actually has something going on with wife, but that's my gut reaction.

Does the BF have any military obligation? Perhaps they are looking for a way for him to avoid this?

[Boiler 43,804]

Anecdotes are not evidence.

But, let's say BF, daughter and wife are researching this. Wife being so emotionally invested in her 17 year old's daughter's relationship is bizarre, especially knowing daughter has better chances stateside. I don't want to think it's that daughter's boyfriend actually has something going on with wife, but that's my gut reaction.

Menage a trois, Well who knows?

[AmyWrites 593]

Does the BF have any military obligation? Perhaps they are looking for a way for him to avoid this?

YES. Totally forgot about this. This is much more plausible.

[pauli 49]

The other odd thing is Russia requiring foreign students to leave every 3 months. Don't see the rationale behind that.