My Girlfriend married another man to apply for green card

[James and Cynthia 70]

to the OP -

Do you have a rich friend, single?

If so, here's an experiment...

Introduce him to her, then be absent for about 6 weeks.

Check in with yer friend after that time. If the two of them are madly in love, then your marriage was never meant to be.

Wait. Don't do this to a friend. Introduce her to an enemy.

-James

[nascarfan 4]

At the end of the day,you will have the final decision. If you decide to marry her congratulations and if you don't congratulations. No regrets

Hello and regards,

I Think congratulations will be in order!

Regards and sincerely,

Nascar fan

[jaycali 415]

My two cents are these..

It is an inescapable fact that many international couples get married sooner than they normally would have if both were citizens of the same country. There is a fundamental difference between getting married solely for immigration benefits, and getting married for the purpose of staying together. You need to ask yourself why does she want a green card so bad?

Is it so that she can stay with you?

Or is it because she wants to live the good life in the US and is willing to do anything to get it?

To me, it sounds like the latter. She is actually willing to marry a man that she doesn't love, solely for the purpose of staying in the US - She obviously has no reservations against defrauding the US government. I'd say this should be a huge warning to you. Do not marry her at this time. You simply do not know whether she actually wants to be with you, or if she's just using you.

This being said, I do get offended by certain posts on here suggesting that it's a bad idea in general to marry a foreigner. It's not. It's a hassle, but you cannot choose who you fall for, and the vast majority of international marriages are for the right reasons.

And yes, immigration will raise their eyebrows at the fact that she married another man, then divorced and married you in a short time frame. Immigration generally raise their eyebrows at anything that looks abnormal.

Edited January 4, 2013 by Jay Jay

[raffy 7]

Just two questions, maybe 3... no need to answer any of them on here: did she get to a certain agreement ($$) with the person she married? if so, would she have to pay you for the same "service"? I am pretty sure I know the answers and if I was in her situation, guess which route would I take?? The third question: ask her to show you her work visa... it should not be a problem at all if she has a real one... if she comes up with ANY type of excuse of why she can't show it to you, dump her on the spot my friend... if she does shows it to you, make sure you read what type of visa it is, write it down and look it up online... you can get a lot of info about it just by doing this... I have a little suspicious that she probably did not even come to the US on that type of visa and maybe because of that, she is so desperate.

A SUPER big red flag: you mentioned that she talked to you about cancelling her "wedding" because you guys had started dating for about a month?? a month?? seriously??? I hope you realize that a month is nothing and should not be taken into consideration how "confident and truthful" she was.

Myself, as an ex "illegal alien" (14 years of that) I dated several girls, most of them US citizens, I never discussed my legal situation with none of them at least after being in the relationship for about a year and a half or so, sometimes more... yes, that scared most of them away but, it also showed me who really cared and who didn't, who was gonna be there for me in good and bad times... That's not the type of stuff you tell somebody a month after you are seeing them because, like it or not, you never know how the other person it's gonna react and mainly, because since you have no idea of how the other person it's going react, you don't know if it's going to dump you, call the cops on you , immigration or who knows what... besides that, I didn't do it because I wanted them to be with me because of me, not because they felt "sorry" for me and wanted to "help" me. I got offered "help" a few times, I refused every time due to my high morals and I end up very well at the end anyways!!

Another thing that you need to know and consider: when filling up any type of paperwork, she will have all of your info (identity theft is done mostly by somebody within your family circle) once you are married, whatever you buy it's also hers, unless you sign a very good detailed pre-nup, so, be very careful with this. Not only that, you will also be financially responsible for her (that's one of the forms you'll have to sign with immigration) and, if she wants to divorce you, by experience, I can tell you that she will probably get whatever she asks for, including, alimony, a monthly payment of XX amount of money to "be able to keep the same lifestyle she had when she was married to you". This payment does not go away easily...

If you still want to proceed with this, here are the answer to a couple of your questions:

1) she can get an annulment for not "consuming the marriage" (meaning that they did not have sex, so the marriage was "not consumed"), it is not a divorce, is more like "it never happened" but it will be required to be input on the forms that she would have to fill.

2) how long before she can marry somebody else and not look "suspicious": I asked this question to my attorney when I was getting divorced from my first wife cause quite frankly, by the time my divorce was finished, I had already started seeing another person and it was going very well... The answer was: at least a year... maybe 2.

I do agree with the post of the girl who went back home and did everything right from over there. If she did not come on a work visa, then she "overstayed", if she overstayed and she goes back home, she will be banned for at least 10 years to come back to the US; if she marry somebody, that can be dropped but it will take a few years of being back home waiting for her approval. If she overstayed, she can get the GC in about 3 months after marrying you and applying for it. Then she can dump you after taking a bunch of pictures and having a few bills under both of your names because she can apply for her renewal by herself if she has enough "evidence" that you guys married for real....

Not a good spot to be in but I think you are young enough to meet plenty of other people that you can be with.

[AF-Wife 181]

She is already married and could try to adjust her status here in the US. But why would she go the much more difficult road by getting divorced and marrying her BF? Has anybody ever thought about that? Maybe her actions are very wrong and she's doing everything in the books wrong too ... but I guess she was desperate and realize she did a mistake? I don't know ... just some thoughts I had.

[verysadguy 170]

Sadly, this woman is an obvious liar, fraudster, manipulator. While we don't know her back story and why she is just so desperate to stay in the US, I can tell you right now you are very lucky...that you didn't get sucked into her web of deceit a couple of months ago.

I am not a US citizen. But, think about how you, as a US citizen, are helping out your country by not being a willing victim of a non-US citizen who will stop at nothing to use the law to her benefit.

Also, remember that you deserve nothing less than honesty and love from a woman you choose to marry.

Very well stated ivyanddan.

A true love relationship requires nothing less than honesty. And yes, many people, men and women alike who will do ANYTHING to manipulate the laws of the USA out of desperation to get a GC. Look how much fraud there is in the welfare system, too.

[rhein 451]

Right from the mouth of a 30 year immigration agent..."Never marry an alien"

I made the huge mistake and so have many others. Love is great, but don't get married.

Like others have said, just read the horror stories on here. Or go read my thread

"fiance' cheating while pregnant" for some real entertainment.

Just because you made a bad choice and misjudged the character of the person you were involved with doesn't mean everyone who marries someone from another country has the same experience. Some of us are very happily married. Do ya think your bad experience may have biased your point of view just a bit?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

She is already married and could try to adjust her status here in the US. But why would she go the much more difficult road by getting divorced and marrying her BF? Has anybody ever thought about that? Maybe her actions are very wrong and she's doing everything in the books wrong too ... but I guess she was desperate and realize she did a mistake? I don't know ... just some thoughts I had.

She married someone for the GC. Not someone she's in a relationship with. Most likely she's realised (or worried) she wouldn't get her GC approved in the fake relationship so she's trying to convince some guy who DOES like her to do it with her. Easier to fake happiness with someone you actually like.

[verysadguy 170]

Just because you made a bad choice and misjudged the character of the person you were involved with doesn't mean everyone who marries someone from another country has the same experience. Some of us are very happily married. Do ya think your bad experience may have biased your point of view just a bit?

I am referencing this person's marriage thoughts only. The agent's opinion is his own. I know many people marry very happily. I didn't make a bad choice, and I did not misjudge my ex's character. I am a victim of fraud. She was a great choice and of good character based on her representation and her family's representation of what she was. Fraud and misrepresentation.

This OP has definitive proof beforehand that this woman is making very questionable choices and the actions speak loudly.

We should run a survey on visajourney regarding the instances of misrepresentation. The USCIS states about 30% of K-1 applications are fraudulent. Makes ya think! Good luck to everyone.

[rhein 451]

I am referencing this person's marriage thoughts only. The agent's opinion is his own. I know many people marry very happily. I didn't make a bad choice, and I did not misjudge my ex's character. I am a victim of fraud. She was a great choice and of good character based on her representation and her family's representation of what she was. Fraud and misrepresentation.

This OP has definitive proof beforehand that this woman is making very questionable choices and the actions speak loudly.

We should run a survey on visajourney regarding the instances of misrepresentation. The USCIS states about 30% of K-1 applications are fraudulent. Makes ya think! Good luck to everyone.

Just to clarify:

1) I completely agree with you regarding that this guy should drop this woman like a hot potato.

2) The context in which you quoted the agent certainly sounds like you are endorsing their stated position.

3) Yes you are a victim of fraud and misrepresentation, I agree. By the same token, you obviously misjudged her character, since she was a dishonest person. I don't see those two statements as being oppositional - I'm not sure what you are trying to distinguish here.

Best,

Jon

[verysadguy 170]

>>>By the same token, you obviously misjudged her character, since she was a dishonest person.........

Some people are extremely adept at beguiling their prey. We call those people sociopaths and con artists etc.

2 weeks before our engagement she snuck away with her lover while pregnant and had a romantic getaway.

If you saw the pictures at the engagement party of how happy and bright she was you, would have never ever guessed that she was a stone cold con-artist.

And the smiles and great sex-capades of many women have covered up worlds of deceit. Just saying.

I have a nicer companion now. Lucky me.

[amaguirr 0]

I might be playing the devil's advocate here but I think you all are judging a person based on one side of the story. Remember every story has two parts, we don't know her reasons or her particular situation...LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE...

[AF-Wife 181]

She married someone for the GC. Not someone she's in a relationship with. Most likely she's realised (or worried) she wouldn't get her GC approved in the fake relationship so she's trying to convince some guy who DOES like her to do it with her. Easier to fake happiness with someone you actually like.

Agreed!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I might be playing the devil's advocate here but I think you all are judging a person based on one side of the story. Remember every story has two parts, we don't know her reasons or her particular situation...LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE...

So, assuming she married her husband out of love, she's cheating on her husband... or I suppose this guy could be lying about being involved with her..

Assuming she married her husband for immigration reasons only, then she's committing immigration fraud.

No matter which way you look at it this woman's morals are lacking. Are you saying that the ends justify the means? I'm not saying all legal immigrants, or USC's are paragons of perfection, but we don't want to encourage morally bankrupt people to immigrate here, especially on the back of an innocent.

Yes most of us are probably judging her, but mostly we're trying to get the OP to open his eyes and look rationally at his situation. If he still chooses to be with her that is his decision, but he asked our opinion and we're giving it. based on the information provided she's a person we'd all suggest to run hard and fast away from.

[Ihavequestions 419]

Just when I think I've seen it all....