Very upsetting answers on Visajourney

[Freedove7 17]

To have the audacity to question my marriage is very upsetting and that is what some of you guys did in my previous post.Who in their right mind would think a 10 year relationship with a guy I met as a teenager isnt real? We have pics we took at my high school graduation! I got married at 20 and got pregnant soon after.We filed 10 years after being together and 5 yrs after getting married while some people who supposedly fell in love filed weeks or months after getting married.I wonder if the people who were bashing me in my previous posts entered their marriage in good faith and not to evade immigration laws.How dare some of you say that I dont sound convincing?? Because I dont have 100 fake photos? Its so easy to fake a smile or a kiss in photos.I bet the fake marriages have the most photos ! When my husband opened his bank accounts,I did not have a legal status nor a social so how on earth could I have been added? He no longer owns an account anyhow.The same with the utility bills.only one name goes on the account.Again,he has bad credit so we have separate finances.I dont want my credit to get ruined aswell! My marriage is fake because we arent financially stable enough to take vacations?? I should not have wasted time writting this post and should have just laughed at the uneducated,ridiculous remarks,but Its just so upsetting that some of you have the nerve to bash me about my marriage who anyone in their right mind wouldnt question if its "real" or bona fide.

Edited June 14, 2012 by Freedove7

[Cathi 5,607]

I never questioned whether or not your marriage was real....ever...i gave you suggestions as to what evidence to bring to the interview and you became defensive. I was trying to help and it fell on deaf ears. You asked for advice. And most of the others were not questioning your marriage, they were trying to help as well. You now have a SS number and it is very easy at this point to be added to your husbands bank accounts.Adding you to his accounts does not give you bad credit. Please don;t go to your interview with the attitude that you deserve a visa, because it is on you to prove to the USCIS that you have an ongoing relationship, merely having a baby does not prove this. Take pictures now, you have time before the interview, it takes an hour at Walmart to have pictures developed. Gather all the evidence you can, it really is in your best interest. Lashing out at the people who are trying to help doesn;t do anyone any good. I wish you the best and good luck.

Edited June 14, 2012 by mimolicious

[afoyoswa 178]

I just read back through all of your many threads on this topic, and all I saw was people being unfailingly helpful in trying to point out potential issues that may arise with the evidence you are planning to present in support of your case. I'm guessing this latest tirade from you is probably going to quash that helpfulness pretty effectively, though. Maybe it's time to take a breather from Teh Internetz if you're getting this worked up about what total strangers say to you in an online forum?

Remember, though: no matter how well or how badly you do at convincing people on VJ of whatever you are trying to prove, it won't make a whit of difference in your immigration process what people at VJ think.

All that matters is the evidence. No, it doesn't feel good to live your life being constantly aware of the necessity of creating evidence along the way for future immigration processes, but it's part of the reality of being in an international relationship, and most of us are used to it by now (or getting there).

[Lornaevo 48]

All I can say is Good Luck with your Immigration Processs.

[Cathi 5,607]

I just read back through all of your many threads on this topic, and all I saw was people being unfailingly helpful in trying to point out potential issues that may arise with the evidence you are planning to present in support of your case. I'm guessing this latest tirade from you is probably going to quash that helpfulness pretty effectively, though. Maybe it's time to take a breather from Teh Internetz if you're getting this worked up about what total strangers say to you in an online forum?

Remember, though: no matter how well or how badly you do at convincing people on VJ of whatever you are trying to prove, it won't make a whit of difference in your immigration process what people at VJ think.

All that matters is the evidence. No, it doesn't feel good to live your life being constantly aware of the necessity of creating evidence along the way for future immigration processes, but it's part of the reality of being in an international relationship, and most of us are used to it by now (or getting there).

[Cathi 5,607]

And to add to my previous post; people file weeks after their marriage because they are usually separated in different countries and want to be together in the same place as soon as possible. Most of us are not fortunate enough to live with our SO until their visas are issued. No one mentioned vacations, or money or you did. We could care less if you can afford a vacation. You can argue and be angry all you want, it won't get you what you want. If you don;t want to hear what anyone has to say in an effort to assist you, I suggest you stop going on tangents and stop starting new threads.

[cappucino boy 29]

Dear Freedove,

What is upsetting is the format in which you are replying. If it was your intent to want people ot understand what you are talking about , you should quote the information or responsed regarding your subject response. I for one have not seen your previous posts nor the responses and do do not know what situation you are talking about. Visa Journey is a free, open website and a resource where people can converse about this immigration journies and get information and help on lots of issues relating to immigration. So when you post something on a forum or board you can expect to get answers and or comments to your posts. Some of them you must screen and rate the value of the information that has been given. And some posts might be derogitory or not what you really want to hear. There are lot's of reasons the resposes might not be helpful. But for the most part I personally find this site to be very helpful, thougthful, understanding well run, probably one of the best resources on the web that could help someone understand their process to a journey to the US and all that is encountered during that journey. I count the members here as my friends, my family and welcome their advice, outlooks and life stories in order to help fulfill my existance and make life more meaningful. That being said, I think it is up to wvery individual to be intelligent enough to know which responses that are given will help you, and consider all the information that is given before taking any possible action. You are ulitmately responsibe for your own destination and the route your jouney takes you, cafefully consider all input and make the correct choices based on your situation. We are only people and people make mistakes, I consider myslef lucky to have a bunch of people on this site you truly care and want the best for everyone.

I hope that you understand and take the good with the bad and carefully consider information from the responses that are given, good luck on your journey and I hope you continue to find Visa Journey a source of inspriation and a resource to help you arrive to your destination.

B. Franklin

quote name='Freedove7' timestamp='1339682211' post='5448916']

To have the audacity to question my marriage is very upsetting and that is what some of you guys did in my previous post.Who in their right mind would think a 10 year relationship with a guy I met as a teenager isnt real? We have pics we took at my high school graduation! I got married at 20 and got pregnant soon after.We filed 10 years after being together and 5 yrs after getting married while some people who supposedly fell in love filed weeks or months after getting married.I wonder if the people who were bashing me in my previous posts entered their marriage in good faith and not to evade immigration laws.How dare some of you say that I dont sound convincing?? Because I dont have 100 fake photos? Its so easy to fake a smile or a kiss in photos.I bet the fake marriages have the most photos ! When my husband opened his bank accounts,I did not have a legal status nor a social so how on earth could I have been added? He no longer owns an account anyhow.The same with the utility bills.only one name goes on the account.Again,he has bad credit so we have separate finances.I dont want my credit to get ruined aswell! My marriage is fake because we arent financially stable enough to take vacations?? I should not have wasted time writting this post and should have just laughed at the uneducated,ridiculous remarks,but Its just so upsetting that some of you have the nerve to bash me about my marriage who anyone in their right mind wouldnt question if its "real" or bona fide.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Who in their right mind would think a 10 year relationship with a guy I met as a teenager isnt real? ... who anyone in their right mind wouldnt question if its "real" or bona fide.

Let me preface this by saying I understand what you're saying, and my answer below is meant to be read with a conciliatory tone, rather than a defying one.

The answer to your question is: Any immigration officer will question your relationship. Not because they want to, but because that's their job to do so.

It is not personal. They see hundreds of couples, for the first time, every day and they cant tell who is legit and who is not. They are not in the business of denying applications, so much as they are in the business of refusing those whose applications and circumstance are without merit.

It is no different than having to go through all the security measures at an airport or going through customs. Everyone has to go through the same process, although the vast majority consists of law abiding persons.

Give immigration the benefit of the doubt. Bring to your interview as much evidence that you have known and been in a relationship with your husband for the past 10 years and chances are they will not question whether it is bona fide. I think you would agree with me that they cant take the applicant's word for it. Also remember that you may get to your interview and they may not even ask for proof of your relationship.

It may be frustrating and unnerving and the best you can do is take a deep breath and comply with their requirements. In other words, bring to the table as much evidence as you have. Hope for the best. Go prepared for the worst.

I wish you well and good luck in your interview!

[BlueBonnet 84]

Without having read previous posts from the OP, people who come here do need to understand, that unless they are asking a specific question, on a specific form, where the question is straighforward, and therefore the answer will be straighforward, that anything else is pretty much up for debate and opinions. We can offer up our personal experiences and hopefully some knowledge. The poster is going to get our opinions and possibly our judgements.

Any person who uses any open site, posts any question ( that isnt direct and specific ) is going to get some responses that they possibly dont like.

If you arnt willing to read up immigration rules and laws and learn on your own, where you make the choice to ask questions, you are putting yourself out there for any and all responses. And the OP of any thread is open to this, because they have opened the door for it.

There is no point to rant and rave over what you view as unfair and judgemental responses . . . its going to happen. So your choices are, read the guidelines, hire a lawyer, ask only specific questions to specific forms. If you choose none of those, and still post, then you have to be open to peoples opinions.

[Waiting_In_SC 27]

To have the audacity to question my marriage is very upsetting and that is what some of you guys did in my previous post.Who in their right mind would think a 10 year relationship with a guy I met as a teenager isnt real? We have pics we took at my high school graduation! I got married at 20 and got pregnant soon after.We filed 10 years after being together and 5 yrs after getting married while some people who supposedly fell in love filed weeks or months after getting married.I wonder if the people who were bashing me in my previous posts entered their marriage in good faith and not to evade immigration laws.How dare some of you say that I dont sound convincing?? Because I dont have 100 fake photos? Its so easy to fake a smile or a kiss in photos.I bet the fake marriages have the most photos ! When my husband opened his bank accounts,I did not have a legal status nor a social so how on earth could I have been added? He no longer owns an account anyhow.The same with the utility bills.only one name goes on the account.Again,he has bad credit so we have separate finances.I dont want my credit to get ruined aswell! My marriage is fake because we arent financially stable enough to take vacations?? I should not have wasted time writting this post and should have just laughed at the uneducated,ridiculous remarks,but Its just so upsetting that some of you have the nerve to bash me about my marriage who anyone in their right mind wouldnt question if its "real" or bona fide.

What this boils down to is that you want us, and more importantly (because what we think truly doesn't matter one bit), the USCIS offical you'll be interviewing with to take your word for it that your marriage is real and you intend to live life as a married couple from here on. Whether you like it or not, the USCIS employee is probably going into this interview thinking your marriage is for immigration purposes, and it's up to you to prove it's not.

Let me make that clear: The burden of proof is on you to prove your marriage is genuine, not on the USCIS offical to prove it's not.

So, given that statement, based on what we've been able to gather in your other posts, you'll be walking into an interview under the following conditions:

- Very few photos of you and your husband together (you yourself said there are maybe 3)

- No photos of your son and your husband together

- Husband didn't file taxes for a year

- Husband can't really prove he's working now

- Husband can't locate his birth certificate

- There are NO documents (financial, legal, lease, or otherwise) with both your names on it

Every single person on this forum is telling you that you have some real obstacles to overcome given all this information, and they said so based on your request for their advice. You are posting on a forum with people going through the same 'journey' you are, so you aren't going to find another group of people anywhere that are more sympathetic to your cause.

Do you think the USCIS office is going to be more or less sympathetic to you? If you answered 'less', you win the grand prize. People here are trying hard to help you. Don't complain because their advice isn't what you want to hear.

Just like others have said, good luck.

[pasportit 7]

Dear Freedove7,

People rushed to help you, they spent time writing you tips, and asking you leading questions. You came here for answers, and you got them.

If you have 10 pictures that show you together on important events, that is great.

Also, adding you to the bank account is not a bad idea, it will be easier as a family to keep track of your money, and budget wisely.

Do you feel uncomfortable talking to an Immigration Officer, who has suspicions, about your marriage?

Nobody is here to judge you, and please do not rush into judging others.

Good luck on your journey, and please click reply, instead of creating new threads.

[Darnell 8,478]

I for one have not seen your previous posts nor the responses and do do not know what situation you are talking about.

Hi ! Welcome to Visa Journey !

When one logs in from a pc or laptop, one can have a totally different 'viewing' experience.

One of those wonderful things to see, is the clicky link to view a member's profile.

Once there, click on 'Find my Content' then change the selector to 'View all posts by <<username>>'

IMO, if you had done that one simple operation - you would have had the opportunity for more reading. With more reading (again, IMO) you'll get a focused view of her backstory and prior posts.

Welcome to Visa Journey !

[AmyWrites 593]

OP, I'll be really blunt, with only one "evidence", THE CONSULAR OFFICERS WILL BE MUCH WORSE THAN EVERYONE ON VJ IS. People here are trying to HELP you. You can totally go to the interview with one piece of evidence, when the 221g comes around, don't say no one told you to bring more evidence.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

To have the audacity to question my marriage is very upsetting and that is what some of you guys did in my previous post.Who in their right mind would think a 10 year relationship with a guy I met as a teenager isnt real? We have pics we took at my high school graduation! I got married at 20 and got pregnant soon after.We filed 10 years after being together and 5 yrs after getting married while some people who supposedly fell in love filed weeks or months after getting married.I wonder if the people who were bashing me in my previous posts entered their marriage in good faith and not to evade immigration laws.How dare some of you say that I dont sound convincing?? Because I dont have 100 fake photos? Its so easy to fake a smile or a kiss in photos.I bet the fake marriages have the most photos ! When my husband opened his bank accounts,I did not have a legal status nor a social so how on earth could I have been added? He no longer owns an account anyhow.The same with the utility bills.only one name goes on the account.Again,he has bad credit so we have separate finances.I dont want my credit to get ruined aswell! My marriage is fake because we arent financially stable enough to take vacations?? I should not have wasted time writting this post and should have just laughed at the uneducated,ridiculous remarks,but Its just so upsetting that some of you have the nerve to bash me about my marriage who anyone in their right mind wouldnt question if its "real" or bona fide.

But wasn't that the titled of your post, How to quantify if your marriage was bona fide. Also, wasn't the other titled shouldn't the fact that you had a baby quantified the evidence that your marriage was real.

So it seems as if you were searching and asking for opinions of others on these two topics. That is what you got, was opinion of those who doesn't know you or your husband and they gave you some factual information. So why are you belittling those who answered your question. Going for the AOS interview the CO could be much harsher in questioning your marriage, so how will you handle that? The CO who interview you will have your future in his/her hand by listening to how you answer any of these questions that others have purposed to you.

Only you know if your marriage is real or not, it's what you do to provide/support evidence as such.

BTW, millions of single mothers have babies and they are not in true relationships with the baby father, so the fact that you have a child doesn't give solid support that your marriage is real. Both names doesn't have to be on all of the bills, your name can be on some and his name on others. A checking account has nothing to do with maitaing good or bad credt, if he doesn't know how to use it properly, then cut up his debit card on the account. A vacation doesn't have to cost hundreds of dollars, a vactaion can be in your own city but it can be time spent away from home. But nothing says going on vacation togeher qualifies a bona fide marraige.

Having pictures together is not a big deal, who sits around in this day and time and just click pictures at events. Photoshop can put any two people together in a picture, so picture really don't have any weight. Just get letters from friends and family memebrs. The child's doctor would be a good source, if you'll have been to visits together. Neighbors would be a good source two. Your situation is fixable, but having an attitude makes those who could aid you shy away.

.

Edited June 14, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[Sirdaniel42 86]

But wasn't that the titled of your post, How to quantify if your marriage was bona fide. Also, wasn't the other titled shouldn't the fact that you had a baby quantified the evidence that your marriage was real.

So it seems as if you were searching and asking for opinions of others on these two topics. That is what you got, was opinion of those who doesn't know you or your husband and they gave you some factual information. So why are you belittling those who answered your question. Going for the AOS interview the CO could be much harsher in questioning your marriage, so how will you handle that? The CO who interview you will have your future in his/her hand by listening to how you answer any of these questions that others have purposed to you.

Only you know if your marriage is real or not, it's what you do to provide/support evidence as such.

BTW, millions of single mothers have babies and they are not in true relationships with the baby father, so the fact that you have a child doesn't give solid support that your marriage is real. Both names doesn't have to be on all of the bills, your name can be on some and his name on others. A checking account has nothing to do with maitaing good or bad credt, if he doesn't know how to use it properly, then cut up his debit card on the account. A vacation doesn't have to cost hundreds of dollars, a vactaion can be in your own city but it can be time spent away from home. But nothing says going on vacation togeher qualifies a bona fide marraige.

Having pictures together is not a big deal, who sits around in this day and time and just click pictures at events. Photoshop can put any two people together in a picture, so picture really don't have any weight. Just get letters from friends and family memebrs. The child's doctor would be a good source, if you'll have been to visits together. Neighbors would be a good source two. Your situation is fixable, but having an attitude makes those who could aid you shy away..

:thumbs: :thumbs:

Edited June 14, 2012 by Sirdaniel42