He wants a divorce without AOS

[tammy_sheldon 1]

I just got married and we have not applied for AOS yet. So my husbands I-94 just expired...he went to stay with his cousin in Florida while I looked for a new house and while he was waiting to work we figured he could get some visiting done. Since he's been there he's changed...he goes out and partys he's mean to me on the phone and he's been nonstop txting a girl he met at a club (I know cuz he told me but he said he'd stop and hasn't) last night he said he wanted to be a free man meaning he wanted a divorce and he would stay in Florida...so here's my question people...because he's still in the country on an expired visa if we get divorced without filing AOS he needs to leave, right? Can I call immigration and give them the address and have him removed? Or I am going down to talk about it with him next week and I know he is now drinking and driving without a license often... CAn I take the license number and call him in that way? I'll be damned if he cets to use me to get here and then cheats on me and leaves....PLEASE ANY ADVICE WELCOME!

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Hi Tammy -- sorry you're having to go through all this.

[BokkieandGuapo 4]

I just got married and we have not applied for AOS yet. So my husbands I-94 just expired...he went to stay with his cousin in Florida while I looked for a new house and while he was waiting to work we figured he could get some visiting done. Since he's been there he's changed...he goes out and partys he's mean to me on the phone and he's been nonstop txting a girl he met at a club (I know cuz he told me but he said he'd stop and hasn't) last night he said he wanted to be a free man meaning he wanted a divorce and he would stay in Florida...so here's my question people...because he's still in the country on an expired visa if we get divorced without filing AOS he needs to leave, right? Can I call immigration and give them the address and have him removed? Or I am going down to talk about it with him next week and I know he is now drinking and driving without a license often... CAn I take the license number and call him in that way? I'll be damned if he cets to use me to get here and then cheats on me and leaves....PLEASE ANY ADVICE WELCOME!

Sorry to hear about your situation. I would pick up the pieces and call ICE and tell them he entered the country under fraudulent pretences and that you are no longer getting married. He has no choice but to leave he CAN'T be working legally as a K-1 cannot work legally without an EAD so he just used you. My thoughts are with you and sorry you have wasted the time, money and effort. File for an anullment of the marriage as that may be a simpler than a divorce.

Edited March 17, 2011 by BokkieandGuapo

[DedicatedWife 4]

Good Afternoon Tammy,

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Reading this breaks my heart...I remember you when you were going through the process...I know that people have went through it all seems like on VJ...let me see if I can find you a link or something to get you going in the right direction. Once again, I am so sorry to hear this.

[patient2010 93]

sorry to hear this.......

[HeatDeath 430]

First of all: my deepest condolences.

Second of all: What. An. Idiot. [Him, not you!]

As a con man, he's totally incompetent. You are, of course, correct. Without AOSing, his stay will expire in 90 days, and then he's out of status.

You should be aware that if he has a copy of your marriage certificate, and can fake your signature on an I-864, he can try to file for AOS on his own, assuming he even knows he needs to do this. [Was it you or him who did most of the paperwork? If you did it all, he may not be familiar with the process enough to even know he's bailed before he locked in his status.] You can [and should!] head this off at the pass by calling USCIS, talking to a second level service officer, and informing them of the situation and that under absolutely no circumstances is an I-864 signed by you legitimate. That will prevent him from even trying to AOS.

As for the other stuff, USCIS is unlikely to sic ICE on him just for taking off. They unfortunately don't have the manpower to do that sort of active investigation, so that won't work. But it sounds from what you say that he leads a lifestyle that will bring him to the attention of the Florida police in fairly short order, and if you inform them of his licenselessness, tendency towards DUI, and immigration status, they may hand him over to ICE for you, when he inevitably has an unfavorable interaction with them.

That's pretty much all you can do, directly. But I recommend that you don't do anything overtly against him. Certainly call USCIS to protect yourself from a forged I-864 by all means, but for the other stuff...

Harboring unforgiveness and anger against someone will ultimately do far more harm to your body and soul than the pain he's already caused you. I urge you, in the strongest possible terms, to try very hard to understand him as just another sad, twisted, broken, fallen human [just as we all are] and to find a way to forgive him who trespasses against you, just as we are forgiven our trespasses.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

To answer your question: No you can't force him to leave the country but yes he will be deportable. You could report his whereabouts to ICE after the divorce/annulment is final.

Also, since he entered on a K-1 the only way he can Adjust Status without you is VAWA Claim so keep copies of all communications from him and notify ICE once the divorce is filed. Be sure to give them copies of anything that shows he left on his own without abuse.

Even if he marries another US Citizen he will be required to leave the US in order to adjust status.

[Darnell 8,478]

Since you've not filed AOS yet - you've not sent in the I-864, right ?

Some suggestions.

1. Call ICE (# below), tell them that he's left, and you are filing for divorce, with no intention of further sponsership. This will start a national casefile, but it's tedious to 'get things into it'.

2. Get an INFOPASS appointment for your local USCIS office, and let them know you are filing for divorce, and tell them the circumstances of why you are not filing the AOS package with him. This will start a local case file. While yer there - ask to speak to the Head of Section for BOTH 'Fraud Prevention' and 'ICE' and make sure that casefiles are started in both sections. At some point, these two casefiles will rbe married up together, and sent off to the National Office

3. SEND A POSTAL LETTER to the USCIS office closest to where he is living, explain all, ask that a casefile be started in the local ICE unit and local Fraud Prevention Unit.

4. SEND A POSTAL LETTER to the Embassy IV Unit where he interviewed, explain all, let them know that he came in on a K-1 visa with fraudulent intent.

None of this stuff is automatic or in real time. It takes time, energy, and patience (on your part) to get the ball rolling. Once the ball is rolling, it will roll hard when next he is found (traffic stop, drunk and disorderly charge, etc). The 'national pick up order' will be issued to all local law enforcement, but he won't just be casually picked up, he'll have to be stopped on something else first. At some point, the locals will turn him over to ICE, and then they'll actually do something with him, based on the contents of the casefiles that you got started.

Just to be clear - YOU can't get him deported, only ICE and DHS can do that - the most you can do is make sure that the casefiles (plural) are full of evidence of his fraud. Practice writing letters of attestation, you'll need these for the casefiles.

Good Luck !

Edited March 17, 2011 by Darnell

[rika60607 215]

You should file for divorce or annulment and you should call AND write to USCIS and inform them about divorce and no intention to AOS. Divorced without AOS, he is illegally present as soon as his I-94 expired. As he came on K-1 he will not be able to adjust his status based on marriage to someone else. As he will not have employment authorization, he will not be able to find a job legally, and he will not be able to travel internationally due to lack of Advance Parole.

You should also take his name off any joint accounts that you added him to.

As far as ICE goes - that he changed his mind and wants a divorce is not fraud in itself. You could call ICE and report him being illegally present, but I would think that would do good only if he does not leave the US after divorce or if you have a solid proof of fraud on hand.

I know he is now drinking and driving without a license often... CAn I take the license number and call him in that way?

If he has no license, what license number are you planning to take?

[kaospouse 5]

Harboring unforgiveness and anger against someone will ultimately do far more harm to your body and soul than the pain he's already caused you. I urge you, in the strongest possible terms, to try very hard to understand him as just another sad, twisted, broken, fallen human [just as we all are] and to find a way to forgive him who trespasses against you, just as we are forgiven our trespasses.

Lots of good technical advice in this thread, but this is also important. I think you'll find the paperwork/phone calls ahead of you much more tolerable if you approach them in a business-like manner, with a sense of forgiveness in your heart. Try to think about the persons in the future who may be similarly scammed by him. Any steps you take to legally correct this situation may save someone else the same heartache you're going through.

[tammy_sheldon 1]

The car he always drives, it's his cousins but he likes to drive when they go out and he's drunk when he does

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I just got married and we have not applied for AOS yet. So my husbands I-94 just expired...he went to stay with his cousin in Florida while I looked for a new house and while he was waiting to work we figured he could get some visiting done. Since he's been there he's changed...he goes out and partys he's mean to me on the phone and he's been nonstop txting a girl he met at a club (I know cuz he told me but he said he'd stop and hasn't) last night he said he wanted to be a free man meaning he wanted a divorce and he would stay in Florida...so here's my question people...because he's still in the country on an expired visa if we get divorced without filing AOS he needs to leave, right? Can I call immigration and give them the address and have him removed? Or I am going down to talk about it with him next week and I know he is now drinking and driving without a license often... CAn I take the license number and call him in that way? I'll be damned if he cets to use me to get here and then cheats on me and leaves....PLEASE ANY ADVICE WELCOME!

First, I am SO sorry you're going through this but there are a couple of things you should be aware of:

1. You can't get him deported, but divorcing him means he has no basis to adjust his status EXCEPT to file assault charges against you and file for VAWA

2. IF you go and see him you need to make sure you are never alone with him so that he can't accuse you of assault and file for VAWA

3. You can call ICE and report him being out of status (while married to you this is pointless) and living at X address but more importantly you need to make sure they're aware you're divorcing him for cheating on you because if he makes his VAWA claim there's this record of you calling AGES before he claimed abuse and they're less likely to believe him

On the relationship front you need to decide whether or not you will take him back. What if he tells you he was just scared and what not? Will you trust he's telling the truth or will you assume he's saying that so you AOS him? AOSing him means you are signing the affidavit of support. Once he gets his GC there's nothing stopping him from leaving you, and nothing making him leave. He can ROC without you. So the choice is yours. Do you take the chance that he's just scared, or trying to fit in with his friends (my ex used to be completely different when around his friends to how he was when it was just us.. that includes when on the phone with me around his friends)... or you do you play it "safe" and divorce him... knowing you could be wrong and he could just be being stupid right now.

I was so scared in the beginning when I first arrived here. Worried after reading these sorts of stories on VJ that if Tony had have been different to what I was used to I would have left. I know that sounds so pathetic because I do love him and I wish I could say that I was strong enough but I was putting SO much faith in the big move that a little hurdle would have been hard to deal with but a BIG hurdle, like cheating, would have meant I definitely left.

[rika60607 215]

Oooh, yes.

You could call the local police department and tell them that you worry about your husbands drunk driving habit and give them his cousin's license plate and car description But, will they search for him and stop him? Probably not until they accidentally see him running a stop sign or speeding.

The car he always drives, it's his cousins but he likes to drive when they go out and he's drunk when he does

[katiemanny 64]

Cancel any joint accounts, remove him from any joint account you have, change all locks immediately, file for divorce, file a retraining order so he can't go VAWA route, call USCIS and explain that you've been scammed by this mofo. No AOS, no Green Card, he will never be able to adjust status with another person as long as he live in the US. Only one DUI and end of story.

I knew this guy that was illegal here, couldn't stay outside of a nightclub, he got a DUI and was deported 6 months after detention.

Edited March 17, 2011 by katiemanny

[baron555 934]

I just got married and we have not applied for AOS yet. So my husbands I-94 just expired...he went to stay with his cousin in Florida while I looked for a new house and while he was waiting to work we figured he could get some visiting done. Since he's been there he's changed...he goes out and partys he's mean to me on the phone and he's been nonstop txting a girl he met at a club (I know cuz he told me but he said he'd stop and hasn't) last night he said he wanted to be a free man meaning he wanted a divorce and he would stay in Florida...so here's my question people...because he's still in the country on an expired visa if we get divorced without filing AOS he needs to leave, right? Can I call immigration and give them the address and have him removed? Or I am going down to talk about it with him next week and I know he is now drinking and driving without a license often... CAn I take the license number and call him in that way? I'll be damned if he cets to use me to get here and then cheats on me and leaves....PLEASE ANY ADVICE WELCOME!

You CAN divorce him. And you can report him to USCIS. After that, you have no say or control over him. If USCIS wants to deport himk that is their decision....he should leave but doesn't have to.....it's his life...cut him totally loose and move on with your life.