dentsflogged

So long story short - I divorced my husband for many reasons,  including that I hate living where he refused to move away from.

We applied for ROC last year. Divorced this year.

I'm eligible for Citizenship now.  

I know for sure I don't want to be married to him - he sucks as a husband. But I'm now wondering if it's worth it to move somewhere I DO like in order to wait it out for citizenship?

I don't know that I want to live here, I know short term I want to go home and be with my friends/family. But I put so much time and effort into my GC and ROC documents and I really loved my ex enough to move here for him so now I think... isn't it better to just do it? 

I recently filed for divorce from my USC husband.   There's a range of reasons but the primary one is that I want to move home, which is what I'm doing. I've not been happy living where we are and my husband won't discuss moving anywhere else - not even a larger town, so that's that.

I realise there's a form I have to fill out to abandon my petition, but other than that am I missing anything?  

I'm going to miss a lot about living here and I absolutely want to come back for tourist reasons in future - I imagine I will always have to get a B1/B2 visa? 

I've been married nearly 4 years, with my husband for nearly 6 all up. 

I'm a city girl and always have been.  Living in a small town (around 10,000 population) was tough but I was making it work.  At the start of the pandemic I told him I wanted to move somewhere slightly bigger (I'm talking like 50,000, not 5 million) and he agreed we could talk about it when the pandemic calmed down. Then a few months later he wanted to buy his childhood home so it stayed in the family and so we could have more space/land and the like.    It's in an even smaller town (less than 5,000 people) and rural/remote and in the snow belt so winter is long, cold, and really hard to get out and do anything in.   Despite all my reservations we went ahead with it. And it's gone totally downhill since then. 

We've always fundamentally disagreed on living in the US vs. Australia.   I've done all the compromising - first on living in the US at all, then on living in a small town, now living in an even smaller town.   And now he's talking about wanting to move even further out for more land so we can have a hobby farm.  And I just. Can't. Do. It. 

I'm used to cities, to having a big group of friends, to having options to do things like go to a movie or out to dinner.   Know where our closest movie theatre is?   50 miles away.  We spent an hour driving around last friday trying to find somewhere to eat that wasn't totally full because it was the first nice night after 4 months of below-freezing temperatures so everyone was piling into the whopping 4 choices for restaurants.     I haven't got a single friend in town, and only a few in the town we moved from (which is a 45 minute drive away). I work from home 4 days out of 5 so I never see my team mates enough to count (I could go to the office more, but it's 80 miles from where we live and I don't want to do that drive back/forth more often) 

I'm thinking we are just fundamentally mismatched. He's made it 100% clear he will never move to Australia and that he hates cities and doesn't want to live in/near one.  I feel like I'm slowly being erased because I'm not the fun, happy, fit and energetic person I was when we met, because all the things I did that MADE me happy, fun to be around and fit/energetic are gone.   I've gained over 100lbs from eating/drinking too much alcohol to cope with depression & anxiety that I've developed due to the social isolation. 

I just don't know where to go from here. I love him. I don't want to hurt him. But I'm sick of being in a relationship where my needs and wants are never taken into any kind of consideration.  I also don't know what to do with immigration - I've applied for ROC already and am only a few months from being eligible to be a citizen, but I don't know if I want either of those things vs. to just take my stuff and my dog and go home?  Is there any benefit to getting a waiver for ROC if I don't intend on staying here?

• 9/22: Package mailed (USPS 2 day express)
• 9/24: Arrived at lockbox
• 9/26: Text message @ 8.44pm with reference number in it (LINXXXXXXXXXX)

Contents:
 

• Cover letter
• Cheque for payment
• G-1145
• i-751
• Marriage certificate
• Front/back copies of green card
• Drivers licences
• Joint car insurance
• Vet bills for our joint pets
• Internet & power bills
• Household bills paid by both of us.
• Documents for us buying our house (we currently live there rent free so no mortgage/rent to include) / selling the old one
• Joint health insurance/HSA
• Joint bank account (along with explainder about why I hadn't been depositing into it for a while)
• 2 years of joint tax returns
• Reservations etc for our planned trips this year.

Looking at it, seems like the Lincoln field office is faster than a lot - average of 14-28 months.    That said; I'm eligible to apply for citizenship in 11 months.  If I send that in, will that be looked at when my i-751 is looked at (hopefully at 14 months?) or does it slow the whole thing down and make my i-751 wait on the n-400?

Hubby and I have been married 3 years in December.

I'll admit I kinda dropped the ball in terms of evidence so this is what we have to send in:

• Joint insurance cards for cars
• Joint health insurance (me on his); insurance statements showing both of us using it as well as statements from the HSA showing me using it (husband has had a great run of health the last year or so while I've had complications post-covid)
• Joint bank account - it's in both our names; he is the only one who deposits into it as I've been using my primarily cash income (bartender) towards projects on the house we are purchasing (I've been doing this for a year - we are buying his childhood home from a family member so we have been working on it/living in it rent-free but don't own it yet)
• Title company documents showing our intent to purchase the house and an in-progress mortgage application.
• Receipts and in-progress photos of the work we have had done on the house; cheques written by me to pay for it. 
• IRS returns/stimulus notices.
• Travel plans that are coming up (October & November)
• Copies of documents where he's named as the beneficiary for my work-provided life insurance
• Various bills and statements in both of our names
• Documents about the adoption of our dog; ongoing vet-care for him, photos of us with him
• Various photos - new house progress

I was going to send in copies of drivers licences to show the same address on those, but I noticed there's an error on mine which I never saw before (the wrong person's signature) and the earliest appointment I can get to go in and have that fixed is in another 10 days plus then delivery time for the new card will be at least a week (it took 9 days last time) and I want to get this in ASAP. 

Does this look like it should be OK?   Covid really shot a lot of our plans for travel and even for having a proper 'wedding' which we'd talked about doing for our 2 year anniversary so I feel like compared to some we don't really have enough to show our lives as fully as we should. 

13 hours ago, SusieQQQ said:

And heaven forbid your parent has a stroke before they become citizens, because then Australia literally just chucks them out as a future public charge. Happened to my uncle.

Yeah. Or the Irish family where a kid had diabetes (I think? Something relatively benign if expensive to treat) and they were denied extension of their residency based on it. 
 

47 minutes ago, JFH said:

Why does the US have a duty to keep non-American adults together? They are all adults. And if being together is important they can stay where they are. They are together now. 
 

Note that the USA is one of the only countries in the world that allows people to apply for citizenship after 2 years 9 months as a resident AND allows citizens to bring in parents and siblings. 

Not to mention the fees involved are paltry compared to some. 

Australia has basically only one option for parent visas and it costs over $47,000 per parent PLUS a $10,000 bond (which in fairness is theoretically refundable) against the fact that the parent will not make any future welfare claims.  Theoretically there are others, but they have such strict criteria and limited numbers allocated that they aren't worth mentioning.  

15 hours ago, James120383 said:

WHO said they had it under control in China . Hmmm

This.  

I wouldn't believe a single thing that WHO says - they said the outbreak in China was under control. They also said that (per information from China) that human to human transmission wasn't a threat. 

Anything the WHO says should be treated as CCP propaganda until it is confirmed by a study performed by a third party. 

14 hours ago, BoostFreak12 said:

Like i was saying tho after the 26th theirs no more sweeper flights 

 

That doesn't mean that the regular flights are opening back up, it simply means that the government has decided "enough is enough, anyone who hasn't managed to get back by now can make do for themselves" and ceased subsidising and/or allowing repatriation flights to land. 

If other airports in the Phillipines are operating, then perhaps it's worth looking into seeing if there's an overland way of getting there and getting a flight if they're operating.

16 hours ago, Aili & Dani said:

I spent probably around 6 months hunting for credit card,without having an green card. A lot of banks in US require you to be US citizen but for someone who needs to build credit there is Capital One credit card! I got approved right away after being declined by many others. Yes I tried Discovery, I tried Ally bank etc. None of them let me have one. So I was pretty much expecting to be declined by Capital One too but there it goes, went through. And yes, i did had some credit score thanks to my spouse and joint account. Which is why I got surprised to be turned down. I guess US sees me as someone with no credit score even if I have some. Anyway,for everyone over there trying to get good credit card, its not like unlimited or whatever, its limited on $200 but hey better something than nothing, right? The only thing I needed was SSN and ID card.  So go for Capital One right away so you don't waste bunch of time applying for different ones. I got around 6 declined letters! Hope it helps. 

I got my Discover card without my Green Card and without help from my spouse (including no boost from his credit score via joint account) - you just have to be both able and willing to put down a deposit and to be employed. 

$500 deposit with Discover in July 2019. 

Responsible use (ie: spend about 50% of it and pay off in full the same day the bill comes every month) 
Deposit refunded & my limit more than tripled by Discover (I didn't ask them about it at all - they just sent me a letter saying that's what they were doing) in February 2020.
All 3 major credit reporting agencies are showing my credit score as between 700 and 730. 

Basically - everyone should search for "Credit building" credit cards and finding the one that suits them best. 

4 hours ago, Boiler said:

Branson to mortgage Caribbean island as he seeks Virgin bailout

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2020/apr/20/richard-branson-renews-virgin-plea-for-coronavirus-support

 

I love how you read between the lines in articles on this topic that they're blaming the failure of the airline on the Australian Government for not giving them a bailout.  Not giving an airline owned PRIMARILY by foreign interests (UAE Government, Singapore Airlines, China's HNA group and Richard Branson's group of companies) money sourced from the Australian tax system... how do the people blaming a lack of bailout think that it was ever going to be an option?

On the actual topic - while I doubt that the petition will do anything, I happily signed it.  Others have said it and I agree - it's not even the visa issuance that's the major issue. Travel will be next to impossible for many months to come. Many countries have closed borders and issued "Do Not Travel" orders to their citizens. Prices are going to go up because demand is not there and companies will still need to at least break even on their operating costs before they decide to run a flight - there's zero point in an airline running a flight that may cost them $10k in costs if they only have 8 passengers paying $500 each. More importantly, travel needs to be done safely and anyone who does manage it absolutely needs to be community minded and commit to properly and strictly self-isolating when they arrive to ensure that if they ARE sick they don't spread it through their new community. 

I feel so bad for the folks still waiting to be back with their loved ones who now have months longer to wait, and I hope that you're able to use the isolation time to be together as much as possible online.

I managed to renew my Australian drivers license because I thought it was cheaper to hire cars when in Australia with an Aussie license, but I asked last time I rented one and was told that it's the same cost as long as I'm over 25. 

I don't see that there's no need for one - if you live in the US you need a US drivers license if you intend to drive. If you need it for proof of identity you can get an ID card in most states.  

Plus how are you going to get it? The motor vehicle department from your state will post it to your "Australian" address where you don't live, and you'd be lying to them about where you reside.  

IMO an unnecessary expense and difficulty for zero net gain

4 hours ago, Duke & Marie said:

I think it’s a good thing.. governments can’t keep giving tax payer dollars away, especially to those without a history of having paid taxes in the first place, it’s unsustainable 

Exactly.  

That or they'll start doing what Australia does and charge OBSCENE amounts to process a visa if you're allowed access to things like Centrelink and Medicare right away - it's over $7,000 for an Australian partner visa. I believe that if you're trying to get a visa to bring an elderly parent (who won't ever work) to the country it's well over $40,000 per person as a "contributary fee" since they're pre-paying into the system. 

6 hours ago, Redcon1 said:

Looks like court would be the only way from the responses i am seeing so far, i understand there is no legal way of forcing her however nonetheless she still is a U.S citizen even if she was born there and one can easily argue in court and provide the proof of the mother not being able to financially provide for the child even in times of illness. 

You child is a US citizen, that's true. She's also a citizen of the Philippines.

You can take the mother to court in the US all you like - they cannot enforce their own rulings within the country, let alone outside it.

Feel free to take yourself to the Philippines and try to get custody there; however being the custodian doesn't automatically give you the legal right to remove the child from a country, so you may just find yourself with custody of a child and no ability to leave the country.  That's IF you win FULL custody, rather than just partial custody - other posters have pointed out that you'll have an uphill battle and need to show extensive evidence that her mother is an unfit parent - just asking you for money to help raise your daughter and keep her healthy does not make her an unfit mother - if anything it proves she cares enough to ensure her health and continued wellbeing.   
 

There's not a lot you CAN do, as far as I'm aware.

You can obtain a lawyer who is well versed in both US and Phillipines law (especially when it comes to custody) and see if there's a way of petitioning for joint custody - then there is the question of if that court can and indeed WILL legally force the mother to allow the child to leave the country - this question has been asked multiple ways on this forum but so far to my knowledge we haven't had anyone come back with a success story of a foreign court forcing one of their citizens to permit foreign travel and/or relocation against the wishes of the current primary custodian/caregiver.

That said, what's the point of it? Are you planning on keeping the child in the USA - in that case, when does the mother get to see her child?  Or is the idea that your child will visit on school vacation, etc?

Personally I would try mediation before involving lawyers - it gets expensive and ugly very quickly when going "nuclear" as the first option. 

Anecdotally, the Minneapolis office have been doing this quite a bit; however from what I can tell it's not a hardcore full on Stokes interview. 

In my case (Minneapolis office); they called my husband (USC) in first, chatted with him for about 5 minutes, and then called me in & sent him out - I was in there probably about a half an hour in total. I know about 10 different couples interviewed since November and all of them have had the same thing - seperation with a quick informal chat with the USC first and then a longer (still relatively informal) chat with the immigrant. 

Husband said they asked him very basic question - first confirmed his USC status, asked his birthday, my birthday, our anniversary, how/when we decided to marry, if I'd met his family and if he'd met mine.     

The interviewer went over my i485; looked at updated information we brought in our folder, asked me the same questions as hubby, then asked a few more things like where I worked (and if I enjoyed it), when the last time I'd been home to visit was and then we chatted about travelling a little as he walked me out (after explaining what happens next).   More like a catch up with a very casual acquaintance than an interview designed to trip you up or see if you're lying. 

I'd also suggest that part of the issue may be that the Petitioner is 65 and is/was petitioning for 4 people (fiancee & 3 kids) - is it possible that the CO looked at petitioner's age and realised that being so close to retirement (if not already retired) that there's a higher risk of any of them being a Public Charge.  

Pretty much the title.  I didn't want to change my last name, because it seemed silly. 

I've finally given way to social pressure (not pressure I guess, but presumption). Everyone assumes my Maiden name is my married name and when I correct people about my husband's last name they default to using that even when I say otherwise so  l'm just going to change it because its just really not that big a deal to me. 

But I already got my conditional Green Card. 

So IS it that easy to change? Can I just change it socially and then not bother changing it legally, or should I change it when it's time to remove conditions?   I feel like this is probably a less common question since most people seem to change right away or not at all, rather than almost a year later.

58 minutes ago, Sunny_Skies said:

Do they seriously deny you if the immigrant doesn't have a good job? My fiancé has had a stable work but only in grocery stores. He was at one for a couple of years, went to a warehouse, got laid off after two months, and went to another grocery store. I would hate to see us denied over that.

 

I really hope that everything works out you and your wife!

My guess would be it's the sum of the circumstances. 

Job hopping isn't uncommon and wouldn't be an issue so long as employment is consistent (rather than the job) and income exceeds the minimum requirement. 

Job hopping + a huge age gap + other factors that don't match up (ie: beneficiary claims to not be working as they "must" look after an ill parent despite applying for an immigrant visa would would take them away from said parent that needs so much nursing that beneficiary can't work?) + Petitioner being almost at retirement age = a group of circumstances that would make most CO's do a major double-take. 

21 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

I think maybe it is an age thing.....   or stage of life.

It depends.   I was in an established career in my mid-30s. 

However having said that, as an adult whose parents were both dead (my mother when I was young and father a few years ago) when I was visiting and we were told my MIL had stage 2 cancer, I can 100% guarentee that being with husband during that time - for treatment and after (in the case that it didn't work) was worth so much more than a job and an apartment and materialistic "stuff" that was in it.  (It was all fine, for the record - surgery + chemo & radiation therapy over the last 12 months & she's cancer free and finally starting to get her feet back under her again

18 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

It is crazy how so many people do not seem to have such responsibilities or ties to home when they go on vacation to the US.

As someone who did marry on VWP and has just been approved for my conditional GC after AOS - I can 100% say these things are not impediments, just depends on how good your friends are and how much $$ you're willing to spend. 

5 hours ago, Coa said:

It's just more expensive to ship them.

It's even more expensive to have paid for a flight only to be denied entry when you arrive. Just sayin'

1 hour ago, AffableAndy said:

Quick question - is it ok to take your phone to the Minneapolis office? It would be really nice if we could uber vs take the bus there, as our car is currently kaput and will be at thee mechanic the week of our interview.

Yes.    They don't even seem to mind about bags, etc, despite plenty of other offices saying that you can't take them in - there were lots of people when I was there with phones (myself included, I just turned mine off when I went into the interview area) and bags - that was earlier this week.

Case status is now showing that my card is being produced

7 minutes ago, Vpanda85 said:

We had the same experience. Did not want any of the new evidence - just the tax return for 2018 and the title of the house (jointly owned). 

 

We both went at the same time during my interview but similar questions were asked. I was told the same thing (about case needs to be reviewed) but added that we should hear within a couple of weeks. The IO handed a white sheet of paper indicating that the case needs to be reviewed. It seemed like that printed prior to the interview and would be given to us regardless of the evidence we gave during the interview. 

 

For which form are you seeing this status? I got a notification for my I-485 the same day (later in the evening) for my I-485 that card production was ordered. At the same time, my I-130 said "case needs to be reviewed" which seemed confusing. But the next day, I got a notification on the I-485 and I-130 that the case was approved. I'm sure something similar will happen with you. I was pretty disappointed after the interview that we did not get approval on the spot. Hang in there, I'm sure you'll get your approval soon. 

I didn't have the 2018 tax return on me (since I thought I'd sent it in already ) but I did say that we had both filed as "married" (him with his US tax return and me in Australia) and he accepted that. I offered pay stubs to show where he was working and income but he didn't want to look at them so who knows?    House my husband owns (we weren't aware that I could have been put on the title even though the mortgage was only in his name - another silly mistake ) but in our original package I did send in reciepts from the furniture/appliances that I purchased for the house with a note saying since he put the down payment down, I bought that stuff.  

I was given the white paper, too - it was under the folder on the desk. 

I just google "USCIS case status" and put my i-485 receipt number in.  If I go to my actual profile and look it still shows I'm "Ready to be scheduled for interview"  so I just don't bother logging into that anymore. 

11 minutes ago, Vpanda85 said:

Sounds like you have a great deal of evidence. Did you submit of this evidence with your application? In either case, I think you should be fine. 

 

Let us know how your interview went - all the best! 

I sent some info with the initial application and took everything listed above to my interview.   They didn't even look at it, just asked for a few things like Hubby's tax return from this year (which I thought I'd added, but apparently I gave them 2017), took some of the copies of our joint bank account statements and that was it. Didn't even flip through to see all the new photos, hotel receipts etc from our recent trip. 

Not sure how it went, to be honest.  They called my husband in first, for about 5-10 minutes (it felt like an eternity, I was so nervous!) then I went in - it was mostly friendly chit-chat as the interviewer went over everything in my application; asked a few questions about how we met and if we have children - basically ended it by saying that they'll mail a letter if they need any further info, but otherwise I should receive my Green Card in about 2 weeks and as we walked out talked about the process of renewing it in 2 years, so I'm presuming that's a good sign?   

My case status shows that interview was done and needs to be reviewed, so I'm TRYING not to obsessively refresh the page.