dentsflogged

Our interview is next week and I'm starting to flip out a little.

Putting together our folder today and so far I've got: 

• All our NOAs, Biometrics appointment (stamped to show it was done), my SSN, both birth certificates, marriage certificate, both passports and my EAD/AP
• Print out of husbands insurance showing me as a beneficiary
• Copy of letter from my retirement fund with my husband as sole beneficiary (this one concerns me as I added him when we were still engaged but they only had the option of "spouse" so he's on there as a spouse way before we actually got married - I literally did it as a response to my aunt telling me to get all that stuff done since she was in the middle of being the executor of my dad's will and it was a pain in the neck since he didn't have ANYTHING done except a will)
• Statement of Benefit from dental insurance from when I had work done listing husband as the subscriber and me the patient - also included the receipt where I paid the remaining balance using our HSA. 
• Print out of our joint account which is where groceries, household bills and the mortgage is paid from (mortgage is only in Husbands name since I didn't have an SSN or job when he got it and I'm still building credit so it would drag his down too much to add me right non) - also a concern to me since he deposits WAY more than I do (he's an Engineer, I'm a bartender & chef - so half his wage is direct deposited whereas I put my whole pay-check in there but keep tips in cash to either save for things - like our trip to Australia last month - or for outings like dinner/movies etc. 
• Printed copies of our bookings etc from our recent trip - can't find our boarding passes (I kept them but don't know where they went ) but have got things like a receipt from a tour booking and then a photo of the two of us at that tour with a very obvious sign which shows it's the same thing. 
• Photos spanning the whole of our relationship from when we first met right up until last week, in chronological order. 
• Receipts from things I've paid for around the house - we agreed since he paid deposit on the house that I'd buy furniture and appliances. 
• Photo copies of our car insurance cards showing us both on the insurance (though we never changed the titles on the cars to both of our names because the DMV is only open 2 days a week in this town and if I wasn't working those days he was so its been tough to try to get there together).
• Printouts showing we have a joint Amazon Prime account, Google Home setup with both of us, etc.
• Envelopes & invitation + thank you card for going to our niece's birthday party.
• Random selection of "everyday" emails and texts like him talking about going on a work trip, planning weekend stuff, talking about our next planned trip, discussing generic dinner plans, work schedule and such.

Neither of us have wills yet, but that's the next Big thing we're going to do.    

I can't think of anything else that I can possibly toss in there that doesn't seem "manufactured" - this is all stuff that we just have from the last year of living together and I should have been more cautious with keeping stuff but I honestly was expecting this to take at least another year! 

19 hours ago, USS_Voyager said:

Yes yes yes

 

Yes

generally they want to see EAD

 

 

No, the marriage certificate is the legal document that changed her name. The NOA1 means nothing. It's just a receipt notice. 

 

Yes, since she got married to you, that's when her name changed. 

Going to be pedantic (without reading the rest of the thread, dangerous game of being that person who repeats the 10th time) but marriage + the marriage certificate means that she has the right to use OP's last name, not that it changed automatically. 

OP as others have said - this is easy and you're overthinking it.   You literally just need a copy of the marriage certificate and her old ID in order to get it changed with the various places (I'm honestly not sure about SSN process since I'm keeping my maiden name so it's not something I bothered looking up) where she's already known as Jane X to get it changed to Jane Y.   Anywhere she's not already registered can simply just be started as Jane Y with no need to tell them if that's her maiden name, married name or otherwise.   

5 hours ago, Alex and Nick said:

Synthesize what though, the first in-person meeting only or every in-person meeting that has occurred during our relationship? I wouldn't be able to fit 5+ years of in-person meetings in 2-3 sentences. 

Read the instructions. That question relates to you describing the event which means you qualify under the “meet in person within 2 years” requirement. 

Ie: John travelled to meet Jane in Ireland on 20 May 2018; we spent the next 2 weeks together in Galway and stayed at X hotel”

then you need to provide evidence to back uo that statement - passports, boarding passes, hotel receipt. 

Got the notice for our interview literally on the last day of our vacation (to my home country) - came back through LAX with zero issues (and no secondary) using my EAD - which honestly was a shock - everything I've read here says that first time using EAD is a pain and takes forever - it took all of 5 minutes. 

I need to arrange a new medical though, which is a pain where we live - 3 hours drive from the nearest civil surgeon. The last one I got done has long since expired thanks to the doctors office screwing up my tests and not telling me until the DAY of my appointment - had to have blood drawn & pay all the fees again - then they held on to it for nearly 5 weeks after getting the results before posting it so it arrived well after we decided to just send the package.    Hoping that the new doctor will accept the tests from the last one without forcing me to get them all done again because I don't want to pay for that again. 

A little over 3 weeks. Scared, nervous, excited.

3 hours ago, geowrian said:

I'm not so sure there's a difference between "beneficiary's parents" and "biological parents". Well, not in this case.

There's the potential to be a huge difference though.

Biological parents are just your DNA donors.  Plenty of people are not on speaking terms at all with them and are raised in foster or adoptive homes.  There are unfortunatley some children who are never fostered or adopted but were removed from their biological parents at a young age (I was part of the team removing a 4 day old infant from her biological parents about 10 years ago - to the best of my knowledge she has never been returned to their care - nor should she be though that is very off topic) who may simplify their life by saying "I don't have any parents" or similar.  

While I'm not pretending to know the way USCIS thinks, I've always assumed the question is twofold - first, to be able to have an accurate profile of the person seeking immigration benefit, and second, to see if there are familial ties to anyone who throws up a red flag in the system.   John Smith (probably) won't be an issue, but if there's an uncommon name that matches anyone on a watch list, then I would think that the beneficiary in that case would find themselves with a lengthy AP time while their ties to that person are proven or disproven. 

I daresay that 20 years from now we are going to see MANY questions like this - assisted reproduction technology is helping more and more unique families, blended families and uncommon family bonds are already blurring the lines of "what's a parent" and will only continue to muddy the (legal) water.   USCIS really should clarify exactly what they mean though - do they want biological parents, legal parents or social parents - ie: DNA donors, the people legally responsible for you, or the people who you personally see to be your parents regardless of what genetic or legal ties they have to you - because language being what it is, "parent" just doesn't hold the same meaning it did anymore and needs further clarification. 

The point of my rant is, OP - just be upfront - explain your mistake and let them decide which information they'll keep and what they'll toss. 

23 hours ago, DaveAndAnastasia said:

MSP isn't exactly a minor airport; it's among the top 20 busiest in the US (exact ranking depends on the measure you're looking at) and a pretty important hub for Delta.

Not minor, but it's not one of the "big names" or a major port of entry that you'd expect.  LAX, JFK, O'Hare and Houston I'd expect, but I (clearly) wouldn't expect it at MSP

On 9/11/2019 at 1:24 PM, Vpanda85 said:

I'm in the same boat - The receipt / filing date on my application is November 23rd, 2018. I will update once I get the notice in the mail. 

This is awesome - my PD is January 2019 so hopefully I'll get interview sometime in November 

6 hours ago, payxibka said:

Most do without issue.   However,  the CBP has been known to "hangout" at the TSA checkpoint from time to time 

I got checked by CBP in Minneapolis/St Paul back in May, so they don't just hang out at major airports, either.

OP is there a reason you're using an attorney? Your situation is one of the pitfalls of using one (besides the cost) and if it's a straightforward case there's really no need and you could always just ask for your documents back and send them yourself, thus removing the extra layer of delay getting things sent/received.

16 hours ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

Just to add to this - my understanding is that most divorce lawyers in California, when representing women, fight dirty. My fiancé’s ex wife told him when they were going through their divorce that her friends (who had been divorced themselves and been advised by their lawyers) and her own lawyer, all advised her to say she was physically abused by him, because it would help re payouts if she ‘looked a victim’. 

 

Fortunately, she refused to lie about something like that, despite the lawyer pushing her to do so...but it is concerning that this is apparently a common tact used by divorce lawyers there 🙁.

Common tactic in Australia, too - when a friend of mine was gearing up to leave her husband, her lawyer told her the first thing she should do when leaving the office was go to the police station and arrange for an AVO (apprehended violence order) - essentially a restraining order based on accusations of domestic violence.   Husband was not violent, never had been. He'd never even raised his voice in an argument and the lawyer knew that. But it DOES tend to mean that the wife ends up with majority if not sole custody of children during divorce, not to mention more often than not get access to marital home during the process. 

OP has been warned but it needs to be restated: be incredibly careful here. Do and say NOTHING that could in ANY way be construed as abusive, violent, or anything else. Do not restrict her access to marital property (such as bank accounts or cars) as that could be spun as financial abuse.  

22 hours ago, Ahmed amin said:

but the lawyer said he can make appeal and fil new case in the same time is it true

Unless the appeal or new case have a signifiant change in the nature and bonafide evidence provided then there's no point in wasting the money on the lawyer.  Sounds like you've provided almost no proper evidence which is going to be a really hard sell given a beneficiary from a country in north Africa.

9 hours ago, jeanita68 said:

Yes I know I said that early on.. that I wouldn’t let my kid go either. But that child is so attached to her father. Now she will not have a father or a mother full time. She was so excited and happy to be coming live with us. All she been doing is crying she doesn’t want to lose her father. It’s breaking my heart. She hasn’t seen her mother in 2yrs. But my husband and I just talk and I told him. Let it go we will just visit when we can and try to bring her for a summer vacation. She has another child that left to US with her father many years ago (11yrs) and hasn’t seen that child since.

The father that she... doesn't live with? 

And given the example you posted can you blame her for not wanting a repeat of it? 

3 hours ago, sbarbie1914 said:

I admit that the utility bill is not necessarily a joint asset, although mine has a deposit associated with it, which is an asset.  As assets are shared, so is debt.  A utility bill, among other things, can show the mingling of two lives.  The fact that the officer is "requiring" such evidence before the marriage has even taken place is even more ridiculous than providing such evidence after the fact.

Hardly ridiculous. As noted by several people (myself included) it was most likely asked for because OPs fiancé messed up the interview somehow. Possibly misspoke due to language barrier or was stressed and got a few small inconcequential details wrong that added up to a larger whole. At that point it’s up the the CO to outright deny or ask for more information which could prove the “wrong answers means it’s a fake/for immigration only relationship” assumption wrong. OP and her fiancé couldn’t/didn’t provide that which is how we ended up with this thread. 

Don’t know about other couples but as soon as my husband and I decided we would marry, he comingling began. We have less “new” evidence post marriage than stuff that we did before marriage, so it’s hardly unrealistic to expect a couple who intend to spend their lives together to have SOME evidence of their co-mingled lives beyond photos, family communication and some travel together - all of which are things that can show a “relationship” between totally platonic friends as well as romantic life partners. 

1 hour ago, sbarbie1914 said:

I'm not sure I agree with getting married and starting the entire process over again.  You mentioned the 5th piece of evidence the officer was asking for was proof of joint assets, which is not required for a K-1 visa.  That missing piece of documentation is most likely the reason for the visa refusal, no matter how unfair it may be.  I Googled it and found this tid bit:

Not required until it's asked for. The CO rightly or wrongly suspects that something is amiss after interview.  It's possible (IMO likely) that OP's fiance flubbed some answers (easy to do when stressed and possibly interviewing in a second or even third non-native language) in interview which caused doubt and the CO did the right thing by asking for more proof of a genuine relationship - it wasn't provided. 
 

47 minutes ago, msrodriguez said:

I am 39 and he is 26. Yes, I do understand that creates an issue. Men are approved with much younger women all of the time. Seems rather sexist. I know I sound a little bitter and poor me, but I'm just highly frustrated at this point. 

Sexist or not, in almost all cultures on earth the "norm" is that the parties are close in age or with the male older.  A young man in his 'prime' marrying an older woman (especially one who is edging into aging out of easy child bearing - no offense OP since I'm in the same boat myself being older than my husband, but this is the way that they think) raises red flags because of it being a "taboo" in many places still and thus has a higher potential to be person/couple with fraudulent intent. 

11 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Really?  LOL.  You don't think they would see right through this?

Yup. Locking the barn door after the horse got out, essentially. They want to see ongoing intermingling, not a quick single addition like "here, I ticked this box you wanted!" They want to see the kind of stuff that happens naturally with a couple over time - when my husband and I were in separate countries he was still listed as the beneficiary on my life insurance and retirement funds.  I was listed as his emergency contact at work and for all his medical documents (same as he was for me); we shared an Amazon Prime account; he had a secondary phone SIM service added to his plan for my use when I was visiting; he even had me listed with his landlord - not technically as a tenant but his landlord knew I existed and that I'd "live" there for a month at a time when I visited. And lots of other little things I'm probably forgetting about.  I sat down and made a list of it all when we were putting together our package and the evidence from BEFORE we were married is more plentiful than new additions post marriage because all the "big" stuff was done. 

3 hours ago, msrodriguez said:

So basically they just messed with us. They don’t care and there’s nothing we can do. What a great system. 

It almost certainly wasn't intentional nor personal - it is absolutely a broken system but contrary to many people's thoughts when it happens to them, it's not aimed directly at keeping that individual and their loved one apart. It absolutely sucks, but it's easier to just take a deep breath and remind yourself that all governments break everything they touch and it's a sign of their ineptitude not of personal vendettas. 

Sadly, since you weren't at the interview, you don't know exactly what happened - only what your fiance tells you. It's possible that he's leaving out small details that he thinks don't matter, or that he was stressed at the time and has forgotten things (especially since it's so long ago).   

Others have asked pertinent questions which you haven't responded to - answers to that may help work out what went wrong so you'll be prepared when it comes to the CR-1 interview.  If you don't want to you don't have to answer them here, but think about them.  Who is the elder of the two of you?  If it's you, then it's going to be that much tougher.  Which decade are you both in? You're 30's and he's 20's? Or is he 30's and you're 40's?  Again, if it's that one, then it's going to be even harder.  

Were there any questions that your fiance had problems answering, and if so which ones?    There's no point in getting the CR-1 interview if he still fumbles with being able to name your parents or say what you do for a living because you can be 100% sure that whoever interviews him next time will have the notes from this interview in front of them and will absolutely be asking questions designed to trip him up on any of the things that he may have had issues with this time around. 

In terms of the CR-1 (which I agree with the other posters - this is the far superior route to go) - you're going to likely hit the same roadblocks of being asked for things like joint assets and such at interview if you were asked for them now.  Responding with "we don't have that because X reason" without offering something else of a similar nature isn't going to cut it when it's the second time around.    You can add his name to some assets without SSN. Ask around local banks until you find one that will let you open a joint account without his SSN (we found one in our town first try that would let me have an account by providing them my Australian tax reference number rather than a SSN). Be creative if you need to be - look for things which may not be 100% "iron clad" like a joint mortgage or similar - but that can be used to include in the totality of evidence which shows a joint life & finances - for us because we filed before I had an SSN and as such couldn't be on the mortgage for our home, we sent our joint account with proof of both of us depositing in it over a 12 month period, the paperwork from when we adopted our cat (with both of us listed as co-owners and on the pet insurance we purchased) and documents showing that I had purchased all the furniture and kitchen goods and laundry stuff for our new home (to the total value of the deposit that my husband paid on it) as well as a signed document that we had prepared saying that when my SSN was obtained and I had a decent credit score we would be refinancing the mortgage and adding me as co-owner - not exactly the same as being on the mortgage itself for those purposes but it all shows co-mingling of life and assets. 

Good luck OP. It's a long, hard road but you'll get there!

12 hours ago, umerdec08 said:

that is why i said, he needs to register his marriage as per American Govt . In Pakistan, now they have pre-register all Marriage paper, so either you are both Pakistani's marrying still your marriage will be registered and can be used in any future Immigration process .

You mean... he needs to get legally married in a way that is recognised and accepted as legal by the US government and more specifically by USCIS? 

Marriage laws in Pakistan have no bearing in this discussion unless the marriage happened in Pakistan. It didn't - it happened, essentially, "online" which is what is causing this mess.   "Registering" it will not solve this issue - OP's friend going to Pakistan (or whatever 3rd country, since apparently OP & friend are convinced that OP isn't "allowed" to go there during his Green Card years) and getting properly legally married while physically in the same place as his wife - WILL solve the issue.

13 hours ago, umerdec08 said:

Do they have Children together ? I think having Children will give their relationship some legitimacy .

It is not a question of legitimacy, but of legality. 

If a marriage wouldn't be considered legal as per US laws, it doesn't matter what is legal in the beneficiary's home country. For example, Polygamous marriages are legal in some places, but we all know that the USA will NOT recognize the second/third/fourth/whatever-th wife of a man to be his legal wife and allow her to obtain immigration benefit. 
 

10 minutes ago, Nitas_man said:

Not too much money.  That also triggers interest in customs.

 

Nothing is needed for immigration purposes at POE other than the passport, visa, and magical envelope

 

What we have used in 13 years for various purposes (all certified translations)

 

1.  School records

2.  Birth certificate

3.  Marriage certificate

 

Safe trip!

 

 

As long as you can prove where you got it, they don't give a damn.  One of my friends carried nearly $500k with her when she entered (from an inheritance) - she had the paperwork to show that's what it was and when they asked "why are you carrying it in cash?" she pointed out that she'd lose X-amount (I think she said the fees were over $2,000 all up) to transfer it to her US account digitally. Whole conversation took 30 seconds.

19 hours ago, sonicview said:

My tax guys said i can't include my wife name or show as married in my tax return because she is not in USA and don't have SSN. How you guys did your tax return last year when you were married but spouse was overseas waiting for her visa approval. Did you guys filled application as single or married? I am little worried because i am expecting my wife's case to be approved next year as i recently files her i-130 and my 2019 tax return will be needed in the next stage of processing. I want to file as married, don't care about the deductibles but at least for the correct record, but without her having SSN i can't include her in tax filing. I don't want visa officer to question her for this point, any advice, what you guys did? 

As others have said, your tax guys are wrong.

She needs an SSN or ITIN to file online.   You can also file without either of those if you do it "analogue" by filling out the paperwork by hand and physically posting it in - my husband had to do this because I didn't have my SSN or ITIN yet and he wanted to get the tax out of the way.   A few weeks later his cheque was cashed and that was the end of it. 

31 minutes ago, LolaOkhuofu said:

You mean he sent u his taxes from his country

I am the immigrant spouse.  My USC husband printed up his US taxes, filled in the paperwork by hand, signed it and I put it in an envelope and mailed it from the nearest USPS post box while I was here visiting him.  Had I not been here visiting, he would have walked it to the post-box.    Again, it is absolutely possible to file taxes with a non-reisdent or non-citizen spouse who doesn't have a SSN or ITIN - you just have to do it the "old fashioned" way and take an extra 15 minutes for it.

5 minutes ago, LolaOkhuofu said:

 

Trust me I don’t mind wherever he is I will live. I was able to retrieve our past call and messages through my phone company few minutes ago they are mailing those...as for filing single when married...you try filing an immigrant spouse with turbo tax and see what they say..2018 was my first time filing taxes from a job because I was a nanny before so I can correct my taxes I just have to pay money back...not a big deal...I’m not worried about the negative comments nor anyone opinion it’s God that knows...just said how bad Nigerians have made people to think of them...since I am a Nigerian American as well. 

I am the immigrant spouse.  My husband simply printed his tax details and I posted it the following day - it is easy to file as "married filing seperately" without an SSN if you do it "analogue"

3 hours ago, missileman said:

Put yourself in the shoes of the consulate officer:

 

1.  Married 4 years with only 3 total visits.

2.  Separated for a year.

3.  Very little evidence of time together and continued communication (which are the BEST evidence you can provide).

 

Does that sound like a real, bona fide marriage?    

4. Petitioner filed their taxes as "single" despite being married, probably more than once if they've been married for 4 years. 

IMO the OP is gonna be in for a fun time.  I obviously have no personal experience with Lagos but reading through many many threads here, seems like the best course of action is going to be for her to pack her bags ready to go live in Nigeria for a while to prove a bonafide relationship to one of the toughest consulates in the world. 

All that said, as someone else has suggested  - check in with the hubby and see if HE still has copies of messages/emails/photos, etc. That said, most of that is what I (and many) consider "secondary" evidence - it's really not that tough to fake a conversation or photos - it's harder to fake everyday stuff like sharing a home, sharing financial resources and such, which is why there's so much focus on financial co-mingling and shared abode. My husband and I aren't "chatty" on SMS or anything like that - mostly it's "what time will you finish work" and "can you collect milk" - not exactly riveting or a decent insight into our relationship - but you look at our bank accounts, and you see both of us depositing our pay into it, our mortgage payment coming out every month, car payments, insurance payments etc - look in our safe and you'll see wills with each of us naming the other as sole beneficiary, paperwork to show each other as the beneficiary of retirement funds, shared insurance cards and things like that.     Some of it is easy to get done without an SSN and some isn't - OP contact your financial institutions and be creative if you need to - go in and speak to people face to face if you need to so they can't just fob you off over the phone. 

I'd also recommend having something pre-prepared with information about the reason for your breakup and how things were mended - especially if you weren't communicating at all during that time, better to be pre-prepared to answer the "what happened for this year?" question than to be scrambling to explain things when asked. 

All of this said - others have said it, and I agree -  Lagos is one of, if not THE most - tough consulates in the world.  MANY couples with PLENTY of evidence are denied.  Be prepared for having to visit more often, answer lots of questions and possibly even move there for 6-12 months to be able to prove the bonafide nature of your relationship. 

11 hours ago, Sparky11564 said:

The purpose of the exercise is to become a US Citizen. If they don’t or won’t live here why bother? Border agents have the right to refuse ANYONE, even US citizen tye right to entry. If they play this shell game, snd I was a border patrol agent, it would definitely raise a red flag for me. Why don’t you just wait until they are capable of living here? Maybe im missing something but you sound shady to me already 

Can you show any reputable sources where a US citizen has been refused entry?

13 hours ago, elmers said:

7lb is an exaggeration... just saying that you need a lot 😀

If you don't have a whole lot to show, that's fine too! As long as you have enough proof for bonafide marriage, all good!

LOL ok, glad that it was an exaggeration.

We have plenty - joint accounts, him as beneficiary on my retirement fund, co-signers on credit cards, shared amazon accounts, shared "ownership" of our pet, paying mortgage from joint account, records & photos from travelling together, joint invites to weddings and stuff like that.  I was just thinking that all of that barely fills 50 pages of a binder. 

On 7/27/2019 at 4:31 PM, faycher said:

Just finished preparing my 7lb binder as well. Lol. A week away from my interview. 

7lbs?

That's .... thorough!  Hubbs and I have been living together for some months now and while we have tonnes of bonafide evidence (and more by the time interview rolls around, especially given we're heading on a very late honeymoon soon) I'm pretty sure that we couldn't fill a 7lb binder! 

10 hours ago, pamawemo said:

Was this at the MSP office that this happened? I would also be curious as to what evidence they had to demonstrate a bonafide marriage?

I'm curious if someone has made a report about them, TBH.   Surely to do that (especially given the extra resources) then they'd have to have some sort of reason for it beyond an initial "ehhh, why not?"