Terrified of signing I-864 Affidavit of Support

[GEOntificator 272]

22 hours ago, KhailTowers said:

I just got married last year to a wonderful woman from my parents home country.

She had no interest in coming to the US. However, now we need to move here, and I've had to convince her to move to the US with me and leave her family.

She has accepted moving here, but after finding out about the I-864 Affidavit of Support, I am now terrified of signing it and sponsoring her to come here.

Anything could happen with the marriage in the future, and I could be on the hook for a lifetime of financial support if we get divorced (It doesn't end after 10 years as most possible think).

It seems this form also incentivizes sponsored immigrants to not work & not get their citizenship (As you'd have to keep supporting them financially)

Has anybody also struggled with signing this form and ended up just moving to a different country with their spouse as a result of it?

There is a big fuss about I-864 on here. I am yet to see a post where someone sued and enforced I-864. Lawsuits are expensive and cases that sued for I-864 in the past are mixed bags. 

If you are already in doubt of a relationship then what is the point of it at all? Plus you had to convince her to come over... What am I missing here?

 

I respect the comments of all the other knowledgeable and valued members on this platform, however at times these comments very extreme and assume the worst. Rarely I see anyone provide statistics which is and should be your single source of truth. If out of 1000 marriages 2 sued for I-864 and 1 prevailed that should be a pretty good starting point to assess your risk. What could or would be is not a great one.

[Boiler 43,764]

I have seen a few I 864 Federal Court cases. Not that many, I do not know hoe common they are.

 

My understanding is that most if not all are contingency based.

[KhailTowers 3]

This post is going to be embarrassing, but I figured I'd answer everyone's questions honestly here.

 

We do not need to live in the US.

 

We tried to live in a different overseas country (not where she is from), but there was a huge lack of stability there.

 

She has a very weak passport, and I have a strong one (USA). I started having doubts in the third country about the long term sustainability and practicality of settling there.

 

Job opportunities are harder to come by there versus the US, child care is extremely expensive, visas/residency are straight forward but that could change at any point, and the weather was awful, in addition to no community, homesickness, etc.

 

What if she got sick and needed medical care in the West?

 

What if we wanted our future children to study in a Western country (how will she get a visa?) 

 

What if I needed to go back to America for some time to take care of something? (She comes from a culture where separation from one's husband frequently or extended periods of time is seen as shameful)

 

The other option would have been to move back to her home country where her family lives but that is even more challenging (high crime, poverty, even less opportunities, etc) 

 

I thought the most sustainable decision was to move her to the US, and get her citizenship, which would keep us together in the future no matter where we ended up. 

 

I did tell her before marriage that I move around for work to different countries, and she accepted this, but I did not mention of moving to the US (At the time, I had planned to leave the US indefinitely but discovered in the third country we moved to things that I did not expect) 

 

As much as a monster as I sound right now, I now just want to provide my wife stability.

 

These last couple of months I've made mistakes and I want to make up for it by just sealing the deal and providing my spouse the stability she wants.

 

On the concern around the I-864, my wife is a great person, but she comes from a country where people/families are very conniving and money hungry due to poverty and a third-world government. This leads to many of the general people doing anything for money (murdering their siblings, stealing inheritance/land, etc).

 

I am not worried about my wife, I am worried about her family/siblings and immediate neighbors if things go wrong in the marriage.

 

Her brothers would almost certainly encourage her to sue me for money if the law allows for that (I-864). 

 

I am not sure what to do at this point.

 

In Australia, you are only legally obligated to take care of a spouse for 2 years. In Canada, 3 years. In the UK, or France, this doesn't even exist. 

 

In the US, if the spouse doesn't get their citizenship, it is indefinite. This is my concern. 

 

She does come from a country that allows dual citizenship, so it would be unlikely for her to come here and not get citizenship, but I don't know. 

 

[RLA 323]

Thanks for adding some backstory to your question, @KhailTowers.  As others in this thread have already said — don't worry too much about the I-864.  If your marriage fails in the U.S., it will be messy and expensive anyway.  The I-864 won't add that much cost and hassle.  And in any case, the I-864 only creates an obligation towards the U.S. government, not your wife.  Her brother can't make her sue you based on the I-864.

 

If you feel like going ahead with your marriage and with moving to the U.S. I would recommend two things to mitigate the risk I: 

 

(1) Talk with your wife and develop a joint vision of your life together that includes all the important points — kids, living situation, domestic work split, finances, retirement.  That's the best way to prevent your marriage from breaking apart.

 

But also:

 

(2) Once your wife is here, support her in finding employment, developing a career, etc.  The I-864 is moot if she makes her own money.

 

Does your wife work?  Does she want to keep working in the U.S.?  If you keep moving around for jobs — are you expecting her to follow you and put her own career on the backburner?  If you two want kids — is she going to stop working and take care of them?

Edited March 2, 2023 by RLA

[Crazy Cat 39,680]

1 hour ago, KhailTowers said:

In the US, if the spouse doesn't get their citizenship, it is indefinite. This is my concern. 

That is a lack of faith in the relationship issue...not an immigration issue. Good luck.  

Edited March 2, 2023 by Crazy Cat

[Lil bear 3,858]

I 864 is not indefinite. Even without becoming a USC, the obligation ceases once 

1. you have 40 SS quarters as she is tgen eligible for a spouse SS income if surviving benefit once she meets the SS eligibility( over 62 for the first.. your death 😵‍💫 for the second) 

 

2. she earns 40 SS quarters herself 

[Lil bear 3,858]

12 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

That is a relationship issue...not an immigration issue. Good luck.

I fully agree with CrazyCat. Sounds like you have way bigger things to deal with and worry about than the I864. Good luck 

[Rocio0010 5,573]

14 hours ago, KhailTowers said:

move her to the US, and get her citizenship

I understand where you're coming from, but you don't move her to the US nor do you get her citizenship. These are all things she needs to do herself, willingly.

 

14 hours ago, KhailTowers said:

On the concern around the I-864, my wife is a great person, but she comes from a country where people/families are very conniving and money hungry due to poverty and a third-world government. This leads to many of the general people doing anything for money (murdering their siblings, stealing inheritance/land, etc).

 

I am not worried about my wife, I am worried about her family/siblings and immediate neighbors if things go wrong in the marriage.

 

Her brothers would almost certainly encourage her to sue me for money if the law allows for that (I-864). 

 

I am not sure what to do at this point.

This is exactly what I meant in my first post. I suspected this was your concern. And this is outside the scope of immigration. 

It seems that you need to have some serious conversations (yes, more than one, and over time) and share your concerns with her. Maybe even some counselling. It seems you don't trust her in relation to her family and what she could do for them. You need to explainto her what your fears are. 

Additionally, you need to draft a prenup, and discuss it with her.

14 hours ago, KhailTowers said:

This is my concern

And again, this is outside of immigration. This is a relationship issue.

 

And speaking about relationship, yes, a prenup can protect you and your finances. But that doesn't fix the issue of trust.

[Alex&Nayden 91]

On 2/28/2023 at 6:40 PM, KhailTowers said:

I just got married last year to a wonderful woman from my parents home country.

She had no interest in coming to the US. However, now we need to move here, and I've had to convince her to move to the US with me and leave her family.

She has accepted moving here, but after finding out about the I-864 Affidavit of Support, I am now terrified of signing it and sponsoring her to come here.

Anything could happen with the marriage in the future, and I could be on the hook for a lifetime of financial support if we get divorced (It doesn't end after 10 years as most possible think).

It seems this form also incentivizes sponsored immigrants to not work & not get their citizenship (As you'd have to keep supporting them financially)

Has anybody also struggled with signing this form and ended up just moving to a different country with their spouse as a result of it?

It sounds like you have way bigger issues than a "visa" right now. Maybe focus on your marriage first. Then, focus on applying for a green card.

 

Honestly reading this makes me really sad (and kind of angry). There are people here who would do anything to be with their spouse and be together FINALLY. And here you are worrying that your "immigrant" wife is going to take financial advantage of you.

 

Yes, sponsoring your WIFE means you accept financial responsibility for her. If you are not ready to do that, don't waste anyone's time (the government's, yours, or her's). 

 

Rant over. 

[Hocnos 8]

On 3/3/2023 at 9:44 PM, Alex&Nayden said:

It sounds like you have way bigger issues than a "visa" right now. Maybe focus on your marriage first. Then, focus on applying for a green card.

 

Honestly reading this makes me really sad (and kind of angry). There are people here who would do anything to be with their spouse and be together FINALLY. And here you are worrying that your "immigrant" wife is going to take financial advantage of you.

 

Yes, sponsoring your WIFE means you accept financial responsibility for her. If you are not ready to do that, don't waste anyone's time (the government's, yours, or her's). 

 

Rant over. 

Agreed 100%. As others have said, these are not immigration questions. OP, you are already married - meaning you already are financially responsible for your wife, whether you like it or not.

 

If I was your wife, this right here would be a huge red flag for me, potentially a deal breaker.