Your personal experiences moving to another country

[GeorgiaRoseyRose 13]

With this being such a major experience for anyone going through the immigration process, I'm just intrigued to hear some personal stories when it comes down to:

- Things you have/haven't adapted to

 

- Things you prefer in your new country

 

- Things you miss about your native country

 

- Top 3 struggles when adapting to your new life

 

- Did your big move affect your relationship in any way?

 

-  What were you excited about the most (other than the obvious)?

 

- What were you scared about the most?

 

- How quickly did you pick up the rules/laws of your state/country?

 

- Are you still close with friends and family from your native country?

 

- How did US natives respond to you being there?

 

- How long did it take for your new home to feel like "home"?

 

- Have you found yourself picking up the slang/accent yet?

 

- How often do you visit your native country?

 

- Have you brought any of your own culture to your new American life?

 

- How long has it been now since moving to the US?

 

- What made you and your partner decide to stay in the US instead of the other country?

 

Any additional advice for newbies would be majorly appreciated! It may just be something to help with any anxieties or uncertainty ❤️

 

 

[millefleur 5,037]

Obviously it differs a lot depending on what country your coming from. I think our situation was super different, but I read your story on your profile and it sounds like you guys will do great here! Positive attitude helps a lot.

 

My husband and I lived together in his country, married there, then did DCF so we never went though the "long wait" that most people do. I'll answer a few that maybe could give some insight.

 

2 hours ago, GeorgiaRoseyRose said:

- Things you have/haven't adapted to

- Daylight savings time (sun sets here at 4:30pm now!) + everything opens and closes extremely early. Americans seem to be extreme "morning people" compared to my husband's hometown. He complains about this a lot but I guess he's used to it now. At first, it was a big shock.

- Car dependency/general sprawl of American cities, including urban areas like Chicago 'burbs. Lack of local public transit like trams. My husband hates "5 minute drives" but many places here do not have another option transportwise.

- My husband despises the health care insurance system here. While he's lucky enough to have good insurance through his job, he thinks it's evil and basically a cartel to benefit doctors and insurance companies, not patients. Also long waits to see specialists, difficulty getting appointments, dentists giving out opiates to people after routine procedures, all of these things were very shocking to him. Don't even get me started on "copays" and "deductibles"!

- Some things about American culture are just odd for my husband who grew up in the "arts and cultural capital" of Russia. He doesn't understand Americans' obsession with sports (also why are there SO MANY golf courses here?!), why is opera, theater and classical music only for the rich/tourists? Americans are extremely weirded out when someone wears any clothing that is remotely formal (i.e. collared shirt and pants that are not jeans) and my husband still rolls his eyes when people ask him "Why are you so dressed up today? Is there a special occasion?" when he's just wearing a button down long sleeve shirt and nice slacks, lol. He used to wear a suit and tie everyday in Russia (this is really common there, I guess Russians are just "dressier") and he basically abandoned that here because it's just too extreme for the casual norms here in the States.

- My husband absolutely loves his "national food" from Russia and it's basically impossible to find here. There isn't the same "soup culture" and "bread culture" and savory stuffed pies are non-existent. Even if you find some "eastern euro" grocery or restaurant, it pales in comparison to the quality and abundance back in Russia. My husband got so desperate he just started cooking soups on his own because nothing here even comes close to proper Russian soup!

 

2 hours ago, GeorgiaRoseyRose said:

- Top 3 struggles when adapting to your new life

-  Renting apartments here is very annoying and bureaucratic compared to Russia. In Russia, there's no credit check or security deposit, you deal directly with owners, the units are furnished, etc. Here it's a lot more corporate and involves way more paperwork and backgrounds checks and nothing is ever furnished, so you have to schlep around all your stuff and hire movers. We own our own place now (mortgage) but we rented for many years and each time the rental process was super annoying and stressful.

- Being more isolated and not being able to take vacations to Europe as much. When we lived in Russia, we regularly visited my friends in Europe. Now, this is impossible given the huge distance between the continents. We try to visit Russia once a year to see his family, but there's not a a lot of time to take vacations to Europe or anywhere else after that big trip due to limited time off, etc.

- My husband hates the job hiring process here. The ATS resume scanning, the ridiculous HR interviews and endless tests, the extreme competition for good positions when starting out (he's a software engineer) and then once you get the job, the obsession with Zoom meetings. Things are just a lot more straightforward in Russia when it comes to finding a job and working, there's a much bigger focus on getting the work done and moving on quickly to the next task than the "company culture" (mostly done via meetings now because of Covid) stuff you get here. Of course this varies from place to place, but IT and tech is notorious especially for it's absurd interview and hiring process here. Remote work only has been hard for my husband too, he's literally never once seen the faces of his co-workers because of Covid and it's been a very isolating experience for someone who has never had the chance to work in the office and with others face-to-face before.

 

2 hours ago, GeorgiaRoseyRose said:

- Are you still close with friends and family from your native country?

- How often do you visit your native country?

- How long has it been now since moving to the US?

- How long did it take for your new home to feel like "home"?

- What made you and your partner decide to stay in the US instead of the other country?

- We've been here since July 2017. As mentioned before, we try to visit his family in Russia at least once a year. We are extremely close to his family and friends back in Russia and here my American family is a lot more distant/spread out, so it's just not the same as going back to Russia and having everyone be there together. The lack of family and friends here means the US will never feel like "home" for us. We're enjoying what we can get out of living here for now, but we don't plan to live here forever. I think this really hinges on having close family/friends nearby, and that's just something we'll never have here in the US sadly.

- We moved to the US for a few different reasons: better university/education here for my husband, better job opportunities, and we wanted him to get US citizenship. My husband got his degree, his citizenship and now he has a very good job + salary so it's been great in terms of our goals. It's the stuff that money can't buy that's hard: replacing the friends/family we have back in Russia and having Europe be right there to travel/see my European friends. Having a good salary and job stability can't replace those things, so for us the situation has pluses and minuses. As mentioned we probably won't stay here forever, but at least we've achieving all the stuff we wanted to so I'm really glad about that.

 

At the end of the day, I think it'll depend on what you're used to culturally and if you have family/friends nearby who can help you feel at home. I wouldn't say there's anything to be nervous or worried about, just expect things to be different for sure! If you're in a big city, it'll be easier to adapt than a small town. Covid will probably make it rougher from a social standpoint, but hopefully it'll start getting better soon.

 

 

Edited November 25, 2021 by millefleur

[Wuozopo 4,285]

 

Things you have/haven't adapted to

i think I settled in very quickly. Driving on the other side of the road is a piece of cake. Your brain just “flips”.Never homesick, not even a minute. Very happy here except for the political ####### since 2020. Love to watch baseball on TV.

 

- Things you prefer in your new country

More friendly. Better customer service. Warm weather. Cheaper petrol. Lower taxes. Fajitas. BBQ. Lots of beef.

 

- Things you miss about your native country

Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. NHS free healthcare. The free part, not the lousy care.

 

- Top 3 struggles when adapting to your new life

At first it was just learning how things worked (taxes, government,  car inspections, insurance) and also where to get things…fix-it supplies, tech stuff. Felt like a fish out of water briefly. 

 

- Did your big move affect your relationship in any way?

No

 

-  What were you excited about the most (other than the obvious)?

A whole new experience.

 

- What were you scared about the most?

Nothing

 

- How quickly did you pick up the rules/laws of your state/country?

I’m a quick learner. I think I know more about how the government works and income tax than the average American.

 

- Are you still close with friends and family from your native country?

Not really, but I was older and hadn’t run with a group of mates from school for decades. I talk to Mum and my grown daughter often.

 

- How did US natives respond to you being there?

They love my accent. I am much more “popular” here than England…likely the accent. May I advise you to embrace the attention your British accent brings. It’s a compliment and a bonus. I hear so many commenting that they feel like people are making fun of them when they try to mimic how you say something. Quite the contrary. Americans LOVE a British accent and are fascinated and want to try to say words like you do. So use it to your advantage and don’t feel offended. But if you live in the south, learn to say Ranch dressing like the natives or they’ll never get your order right. Rahnch is not comprehended in Texas. Another hard one is Water. 

 

- How long did it take for your new home to feel like "home"?

About an hour. Lol. Well it did take a while to find a cheddar and bread I liked. And a source for acceptable tea bags that were cheap. I did bring a large supply of tea and cheese with me for the transition period.

 

- Have you found yourself picking up the slang/accent yet?

Yes a little. I say y’all now (and Ranch dressing in a Texas accent). And my wife has picked up British stuff too.

 

- How often do you visit your native country?

About every three years. 

 

- Have you brought any of your own culture to your new American life?

Christmas crackers. Watching British TV shows.

 

- How long has it been now since moving to the US?

13 years

 

- What made you and your partner decide to stay in the US instead of the other country? 
She thought the refrigerator was too small in my bungalow in England. 😂 We live in bloody Windsor castle here which cost the same as a tiny 2BR place in Oxfordshire.  Actually we never considered England. I wanted to move. She didn’t.

Advice for newbies: Don’t try to re-create England here. It doesn’t work. Find new things to eat, drink, do here. Dive in and make it your home…the good, the bad, the ugly. You moved, so accept new things and don’t constantly compare with “back home”. It’s different. Deal with it instead of complaining constantly that this and that are better in England.  You are starting over. It can be a great adventure if you will let go of England.

Edited November 26, 2021 by Wuozopo

[TBoneTX 43,061]

26 minutes ago, Wuozopo said:

It can be a great adventure if you will let go of England.

For those who can do it, we say, "Welcome to the Colonies."  

[Wuozopo 4,285]

41 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

For those who can do it, we say, "Welcome to the Colonies."  

Heh heh. I wear this t-shirt to our subdivision’s big 4th of July parade and picnic.

Edited November 26, 2021 by Wuozopo

[GeorgiaRoseyRose 13]

6 hours ago, Wuozopo said:

Heh heh. I wear this t-shirt to our subdivision’s big 4th of July parade and picnic.

That tickled me!!

[Wuozopo 4,285]

3 hours ago, GeorgiaRoseyRose said:

That tickled me!!

Glad you got a laugh. My neighbors did too.
When I said above ‘let go of England”, I didn’t mean let go of your Britishness. 
You just have to let go of the expectation of finding a great chippy or Yorkshire puddings nearby, or Galaxy chocolate bars in every store. Or pavements or public transportation readily available. As far as the latter, I don’t grieve catching a bus running through my village. I bought a fast Mustang and drive the hell out of it. And don’t carry a chip on your shoulder that the UK is better and America is not at all the greatest place ever so you’re going to point out it’s flaws daily. This isn’t a contest between countries. They are just different. Find the good things, accept the annoying things (crazy drivers), adopt some new ways and you’ll be a happier immigrant. 

[Redro 4,600]

41 minutes ago, Wuozopo said:

Glad you got a laugh. My neighbors did too.
When I said above ‘let go of England”, I didn’t mean let go of your Britishness. 
You just have to let go of the expectation of finding a great chippy or Yorkshire puddings nearby, or Galaxy chocolate bars in every store. Or pavements or public transportation readily available. As far as the latter, I don’t grieve catching a bus running through my village. I bought a fast Mustang and drive the hell out of it. And don’t carry a chip on your shoulder that the UK is better and America is not at all the greatest place ever so you’re going to point out it’s flaws daily. This isn’t a contest between countries. They are just different. Find the good things, accept the annoying things (crazy drivers), adopt some new ways and you’ll be a happier immigrant. 

Do you like marmite? Are you able to find it in your corner of the Texas? 

Do you ever break and buy overpriced British goods or have family members send over your favorite snacks or have you swopped out some comfort food from home for comfort food in the Texas? Or have you learned to make those foods at home? 

 

[Wuozopo 4,285]

3 hours ago, Kor2USA said:

Do you like marmite? Are you able to find it in your corner of the Texas? 

Yes but don’t eat it that often so a jar lasts forever. Not in grocery stores. Regular purchases at my local grocery stores are Branston Pickle and Colman’s mustard. Sometimes HP sauce. 
 

3 hours ago, Kor2USA said:

Do you ever break and buy overpriced British goods or have family members send over your favorite snacks

Sure. There’s a British store/grocery about 5 minutes away. Sometimes we pop in and pay $2.30 for a small Galaxy bar. When you’re in there and it’s right in front of you, suddenly we’re filling our basket with Milka, Crunchy bar, fruit pastilles, Jammie Dodgers, Hobnobs etc, etc. I don’t think about the price and it’s maybe twice in a whole year.. I usually get a very small Christmas cake because nobody will eat it, but it’s a Christmas tradition for me. They sell bacon, bangers, pasties, and pies there too but they don’t call out me like sweets. And Marmite is there. I’m over Heinz beans. No my family has never mailed me anything. 
 

3 hours ago, Kor2USA said:

or have you swopped out some comfort food from home for comfort food in the Texas

Yes. I don’t try to replicate a British menu here. I live in America and eat American. I like going out for TexMex food and boracho beans, picking up BBQ brisket and pinto beans, big thick steaks, and nice restaurant hamburgers (not McDonald’s skimpy things). We don’t make British foods at home but I do use Colman’s on my brisket. I call it my yellow BBQ sauce. And there’s a few places who have cod and chips for a change of pace. 
 

 

Edited November 26, 2021 by Wuozopo

[SteveInBostonI130 3,319]

My wife adapted well pretty much right away.  It helped that she was a country girl at heart and we live in a small town just outside the city where the pharmacy, grocery store, library and a few restaurants are within 5-10 min walking distance.

 

Her few gripes:

 

- Pronunciation.  She is fluent in English, but she had a hard time understanding others here due to the accent , quick talk, and/or slurred speech.

 

- Beauty care.  She hated the high cost and poor quality from hair and nail salons.  At first I thought she was exaggerating (other than the cost), but she showed me how the color was chipped or uneven after just a day or two.  She solved this by going back to Ukr and learning how to do it herself from her local nailmasters.  

 

Her likes:

 

- TJ Maxx and Marshalls.

 

- Customer service.  She was amazed you can return things back to the store, even if you open it.  Also how store employees say hello and are generally nice.  She was used to a lot of arguing and haggling back home.

 

- Roads.  Maintenance on one road near her hometown consisted of road crews circling the deeper than usual potholes with paint for you to see better and drive around at round 15 kph.

 

 

Things she did to adapt.

 

- Someone earlier mentioned about Russian foods.  My wife is a very good cook and she makes the soups and dishes at home.  One time she made a Georgian stew that tasted a bit like jambalaya.  I asked her to try to make jambalaya one day, after explaining what it is, and now she makes it better than any I've tasted (except one).

 

- Tone down her style.  Again, as someone mentioned, she was used to dressing up when going out, even to the grocery store.  Now, with a not so minor contribution from the aforementioned TJ Maxx and Marshalls, she fits in better.

 

-.Videocalls to family back home.  Smartphones makes certain things so much easier, yes?

 

 

Things I did to help:

 

- My two dogs (ok, this is not something I did but I will steal credit).  She fell in love with them and they are her constant companions.  Even when one occasionally chews the odd box or two (she chews paper when she gets bored), it livens the place up.

 

- Me doing fake Russian accents.  "In mother Russian Thanksgiving when you not eaten by bear".  "In Russian we have Tanks-giving.  Is when no tanks crash home.  Very difficult to stop tank.  Best to throw vodka and wait for tank driver to drink and crash...in different home."

 

[GeorgiaRoseyRose 13]

17 hours ago, millefleur said:

Obviously it differs a lot depending on what country your coming from. I think our situation was super different, but I read your story on your profile and it sounds like you guys will do great here! Positive attitude helps a lot.

 

My husband and I lived together in his country, married there, then did DCF so we never went though the "long wait" that most people do. I'll answer a few that maybe could give some insight.

 

- Daylight savings time (sun sets here at 4:30pm now!) + everything opens and closes extremely early. Americans seem to be extreme "morning people" compared to my husband's hometown. He complains about this a lot but I guess he's used to it now. At first, it was a big shock.

- Car dependency/general sprawl of American cities, including urban areas like Chicago 'burbs. Lack of local public transit like trams. My husband hates "5 minute drives" but many places here do not have another option transportwise.

- My husband despises the health care insurance system here. While he's lucky enough to have good insurance through his job, he thinks it's evil and basically a cartel to benefit doctors and insurance companies, not patients. Also long waits to see specialists, difficulty getting appointments, dentists giving out opiates to people after routine procedures, all of these things were very shocking to him. Don't even get me started on "copays" and "deductibles"!

- Some things about American culture are just odd for my husband who grew up in the "arts and cultural capital" of Russia. He doesn't understand Americans' obsession with sports (also why are there SO MANY golf courses here?!), why is opera, theater and classical music only for the rich/tourists? Americans are extremely weirded out when someone wears any clothing that is remotely formal (i.e. collared shirt and pants that are not jeans) and my husband still rolls his eyes when people ask him "Why are you so dressed up today? Is there a special occasion?" when he's just wearing a button down long sleeve shirt and nice slacks, lol. He used to wear a suit and tie everyday in Russia (this is really common there, I guess Russians are just "dressier") and he basically abandoned that here because it's just too extreme for the casual norms here in the States.

- My husband absolutely loves his "national food" from Russia and it's basically impossible to find here. There isn't the same "soup culture" and "bread culture" and savory stuffed pies are non-existent. Even if you find some "eastern euro" grocery or restaurant, it pales in comparison to the quality and abundance back in Russia. My husband got so desperate he just started cooking soups on his own because nothing here even comes close to proper Russian soup!

 

-  Renting apartments here is very annoying and bureaucratic compared to Russia. In Russia, there's no credit check or security deposit, you deal directly with owners, the units are furnished, etc. Here it's a lot more corporate and involves way more paperwork and backgrounds checks and nothing is ever furnished, so you have to schlep around all your stuff and hire movers. We own our own place now (mortgage) but we rented for many years and each time the rental process was super annoying and stressful.

- Being more isolated and not being able to take vacations to Europe as much. When we lived in Russia, we regularly visited my friends in Europe. Now, this is impossible given the huge distance between the continents. We try to visit Russia once a year to see his family, but there's not a a lot of time to take vacations to Europe or anywhere else after that big trip due to limited time off, etc.

- My husband hates the job hiring process here. The ATS resume scanning, the ridiculous HR interviews and endless tests, the extreme competition for good positions when starting out (he's a software engineer) and then once you get the job, the obsession with Zoom meetings. Things are just a lot more straightforward in Russia when it comes to finding a job and working, there's a much bigger focus on getting the work done and moving on quickly to the next task than the "company culture" (mostly done via meetings now because of Covid) stuff you get here. Of course this varies from place to place, but IT and tech is notorious especially for it's absurd interview and hiring process here. Remote work only has been hard for my husband too, he's literally never once seen the faces of his co-workers because of Covid and it's been a very isolating experience for someone who has never had the chance to work in the office and with others face-to-face before.

 

- We've been here since July 2017. As mentioned before, we try to visit his family in Russia at least once a year. We are extremely close to his family and friends back in Russia and here my American family is a lot more distant/spread out, so it's just not the same as going back to Russia and having everyone be there together. The lack of family and friends here means the US will never feel like "home" for us. We're enjoying what we can get out of living here for now, but we don't plan to live here forever. I think this really hinges on having close family/friends nearby, and that's just something we'll never have here in the US sadly.

- We moved to the US for a few different reasons: better university/education here for my husband, better job opportunities, and we wanted him to get US citizenship. My husband got his degree, his citizenship and now he has a very good job + salary so it's been great in terms of our goals. It's the stuff that money can't buy that's hard: replacing the friends/family we have back in Russia and having Europe be right there to travel/see my European friends. Having a good salary and job stability can't replace those things, so for us the situation has pluses and minuses. As mentioned we probably won't stay here forever, but at least we've achieving all the stuff we wanted to so I'm really glad about that.

 

At the end of the day, I think it'll depend on what you're used to culturally and if you have family/friends nearby who can help you feel at home. I wouldn't say there's anything to be nervous or worried about, just expect things to be different for sure! If you're in a big city, it'll be easier to adapt than a small town. Covid will probably make it rougher from a social standpoint, but hopefully it'll start getting better soon.

 

 

That's interesting you mention the casual/smart clothing part. I've heard that some Americans can't get their heads around school uniforms as it's usually a public school requirement. Thank you for this!

[GeorgiaRoseyRose 13]

5 hours ago, Wuozopo said:

Glad you got a laugh. My neighbors did too.
When I said above ‘let go of England”, I didn’t mean let go of your Britishness. 
You just have to let go of the expectation of finding a great chippy or Yorkshire puddings nearby, or Galaxy chocolate bars in every store. Or pavements or public transportation readily available. As far as the latter, I don’t grieve catching a bus running through my village. I bought a fast Mustang and drive the hell out of it. And don’t carry a chip on your shoulder that the UK is better and America is not at all the greatest place ever so you’re going to point out it’s flaws daily. This isn’t a contest between countries. They are just different. Find the good things, accept the annoying things (crazy drivers), adopt some new ways and you’ll be a happier immigrant. 

I think you're spot on about soaking up your new country. I remember meeting some people who visited England and downvoted it because it was too different to their country. At the time, I found it really offensive because that's my home. I guess you have to view each country as someone's house, it may not be comforting to you at first but you should never be rude about it. America wouldn't be America if it was identical to England, France or Russia! 😀

[GeorgiaRoseyRose 13]

50 minutes ago, SteveInBostonI130 said:

My wife adapted well pretty much right away.  It helped that she was a country girl at heart and we live in a small town just outside the city where the pharmacy, grocery store, library and a few restaurants are within 5-10 min walking distance.

 

Her few gripes:

 

- Pronunciation.  She is fluent in English, but she had a hard time understanding others here due to the accent , quick talk, and/or slurred speech.

 

- Beauty care.  She hated the high cost and poor quality from hair and nail salons.  At first I thought she was exaggerating (other than the cost), but she showed me how the color was chipped or uneven after just a day or two.  She solved this by going back to Ukr and learning how to do it herself from her local nailmasters.  

 

Her likes:

 

- TJ Maxx and Marshalls.

 

- Customer service.  She was amazed you can return things back to the store, even if you open it.  Also how store employees say hello and are generally nice.  She was used to a lot of arguing and haggling back home.

 

- Roads.  Maintenance on one road near her hometown consisted of road crews circling the deeper than usual potholes with paint for you to see better and drive around at round 15 kph.

 

 

Things she did to adapt.

 

- Someone earlier mentioned about Russian foods.  My wife is a very good cook and she makes the soups and dishes at home.  One time she made a Georgian stew that tasted a bit like jambalaya.  I asked her to try to make jambalaya one day, after explaining what it is, and now she makes it better than any I've tasted (except one).

 

- Tone down her style.  Again, as someone mentioned, she was used to dressing up when going out, even to the grocery store.  Now, with a not so minor contribution from the aforementioned TJ Maxx and Marshalls, she fits in better.

 

-.Videocalls to family back home.  Smartphones makes certain things so much easier, yes?

 

 

Things I did to help:

 

- My two dogs (ok, this is not something I did but I will steal credit).  She fell in love with them and they are her constant companions.  Even when one occasionally chews the odd box or two (she chews paper when she gets bored), it livens the place up.

 

- Me doing fake Russian accents.  "In mother Russian Thanksgiving when you not eaten by bear".  "In Russian we have Tanks-giving.  Is when no tanks crash home.  Very difficult to stop tank.  Best to throw vodka and wait for tank driver to drink and crash...in different home."

 

It's interesting to read about the small details that are unique to each, individual experience.

 

Doggos are definitely a home comfort!

 

The Fake Russian accent would ease anyone😂

[millefleur 5,037]

49 minutes ago, GeorgiaRoseyRose said:

That's interesting you mention the casual/smart clothing part. I've heard that some Americans can't get their heads around school uniforms as it's usually a public school requirement. Thank you for this!

School uniforms do exist here but it's more associated with private (usually Catholic or religious) schools, often "preppie" schools for the wealthy. Public schools, such as where I went, don't have uniforms but a rather loose dress code, which has become even more relaxed in recent years it seems. In general, cultural attitudes about appearance in the US have become a lot more relaxed since my childhood. Now having pink hair and visible tattoos is nothing, people are so used to it, it's not seen as even "standing out" or "controversial" anymore. Some offices or workplaces might still have restrictions though, but it's relaxed a lot over the past 10-15 years. We started out with "casual Fridays" back in the 80s and 90s and now casual has become the norm almost everywhere.

 

There might be a few places you'll be expected to dress up like weddings, etc, but at most places you'll never be expected to wear more than jeans a t-shirt and sneakers. One thing my husband was shocked at was the "SHIRT AND SHOES REQUIRED" sign at some grocery stores! So, as you can see, the standards can be quite low depending on the place!

 

 

Edited November 26, 2021 by millefleur

[CMJuilland 484]

This is a great thread, and it’s actually really cool to read everybody’s experience. 

 

First off, I wish you guys the very best of luck, and as for OP, I don’t think you will have any problem adjusting and adapting here at all.  

 

I had visited the U.S. at least 25 times before actually moving here; I was even on an F1 visa once and completed part of my undergrad degree here.  

 

Here are my answers: 

 

Things you have/haven't adapted to

At this point, I don’t think there’s anything I haven’t adapted to.  At the beginning however, it was hard for me to wrap my head around the whole credit score business.  In Switzerland, your financial “stability” is measured by not having debt, whereas here, you kind of need debt in order to build your credit.  It still doesn’t make much sense to me, but there’s tons of stuff in my native country that I don’t understand either. 

 

Things you prefer in your new country

Everything is cheaper here than it is in Switzerland.  Gas prices, even now that they’re going up, remain almost a joke to me, and I have dental insurance here, which is almost impossible to get in Switzerland.  We’re lucky with our health insurance because of my wife’s job, but what I have through her is way better (and less expensive) than what I had in Switzerland (that being said, prices are less arbitrary there).  When you want to make changes to your home, it is easier and freer than in most places in Switzerland, and getting permits (at least where we are; I understand that California, for example, can be very different) is quicker and requires less paperwork.  Also, people are friendlier, more open, and less reserved, and in a way just more outgoing than your average Swiss.  

 

Things you miss about your native country

Some friends and my parents.  And what I call “real” mayo, not that sugary fluff you can buy in grocery stores here.  But I can get that in speciality stores, so there’s virtually nothing.  

Something I do miss is the opportunity to speak different languages in different language regions.  I speak between 8 and 12 languages and counting (depending on how you count), and in Switzerland, I was able to drive for an hour or two and find myself in a completely different language area (with signs and menus and everything in another language). 

 

Top 3 struggles when adapting to your new life

Because we took the K1 route, I wasn’t able to work for a couple of months, which drove me crazier than I thought it would.  And again, the credit system: I had never had any debt, and I had always done a good job living within my means - and one credit card after the other got denied because I didn’t have a credit history here.  That was just super weird for me.  

 

Did your big move affect your relationship in any way?

In a very positive one!  My wife and I had known each other for about 13 years when I moved (but back when we met each other, there were maybe two countries that granted immigration benefits to same-sex couples, so we didn’t even remotely think that we would ever get together, let alone that we would marry).  So, me moving over here finally put a stop to the two to three week portions we would see each other at a time because one of us always had a plane ticket that would force us apart.  We were finally able to be together - and we could even be legally married! 

 

What were you excited about the most (other than the obvious)?

From what my parents tell me, I had said I would go and become an American from about age 10 on, even though I had never been to the U.S. at that point.  So, aside from finally being with my wife, I was really excited to live my own American dream.  Which I am very much still doing. 

 

What were you scared about the most?

The fact that USCIS would lose our documents or we would get into any other immigration trouble that wasn’t our fault.  Other than that, I wasn’t scared at all.  

 

How quickly did you pick up the rules/laws of your state/country?

I already knew so much about it that I don’t think I had to adapt to anything rule- or law-wise.  The only thing, as mentioned, was the credit score stuff. 

 

Are you still close with friends and family from your native country?

Some of them, but not all of them.  I guess one of the biggest things when I moved was that some of my friends in Switzerland just assumed that I would stay the same person, but that assumption is somewhat utopian.  After all, I was going to a new country, another culture (even though there’s a lot of similarities between Switzerland and the U.S.), and even another continent.  My everyday life here, my local politics, and my immediate circle is different here than it was over there, so naturally, things change.  I believe that some of my (former) friends are quite disappointed (even though they wouldn’t say so), but everybody who has ever known me also knew that I would eventually leave Europe. 

 

How did US natives respond to you being there?

Most of them wouldn’t be able to tell that I wasn’t born and raised here, and they’re surprised when I tell them that I’m actually from some place else.  

 

How long did it take for your new home to feel like "home"?

I would say a couple of weeks.  I did eventually experience some “culture shock” about ten to twelve weeks into my move, but it was short-lived.  For me, being with my wife was home from the beginning, and that was what mattered most to me. 

 

Have you found yourself picking up the slang/accent yet?

I grew up with English, and more with American English than anything else, so there wasn’t much for me to pick up.  I would love to be more proficient in the Southern twang, but I guess that would require for us to move further south, and with our aversion to humidity, I don’t see that happening any time soon. 

 

How often do you visit your native country?

About every other year.  We try to make it happen every year, but there’s so many other places in the world I want to see that it doesn’t always work out that way. 

 

Have you brought any of your own culture to your new American life?

Just some food stuff (and some of the language or languages).  This is more driven by my wife though.  She loves Swiss culture, and we have a raclette oven (and eat raclette regularly in winter) and we celebrate Swiss independence day.  For me personally, just the languages are important (I speak English, German, and French - my native languages - with our dog, for instance), everything else, I don’t really care about.  My wife is trying her best to learn German (my mom’s language; dad’s is French, but he’s proficient in German as well), but it’s not easy with her schedule and the lack of immersion, especially during COVID.  Still, I want ours to be multilingual household (full disclosure: I’m a linguist and currently enrolled in a graduate program in linguistics, and I’m a full on language nut, too.  So, this is less cultural, but more personal). 

 

How long has it been now since moving to the US?

I have been here for 4.5 years, and just recently became a citizen, which means a lot to me (and my wife). 

 

What made you and your partner decide to stay in the US instead of the other country?

Simple: we’re here because I want to be here.  Also, I think that we have more and better opportunities, and careerwise, it makes sense too.  I already spoke English at native level, but my wife’s German (or French) is rudimentary at best, which would have meant that she would have had to take a step back from her career in Switzerland.  Also, she had just gotten established in her field (a field in which women are underrepresented), and uprooting her would have meant abandoning a lot of the work she had put into her career.  Also, I have better opportunities here as well, being a linguist and a language crack; these skills are regarded a lot higher and more valuable here than they are in Europe in general.