Everything is terrible and I am desperate for help

[geowrian 22,335]

2 minutes ago, Lotts said:

So, if I have left of my own accord due to this situation, that is not my fault, my future vacations are on the line? Am I not eligible for an ESTA after 2-3 years? (I've been here since May 2017)

My over-stay is definitely not my choice. My lack of AOS was not down to me spending money that was designated for the filing.

Am I really being penalised because of what he's done? I cannot come back for vacations? 

Sadly, yes. The cause of overstay does not impact the ban. It may or may not sway a CO for a visa, but you would have to go for an actual tourist visa...your ESTA days are automatically and permanently over as of day 1 of overstay.

A CO can recommend a waiver for the ban on your behalf...although I wouldn't suggest trying for at least a mater of years.

[JFH 12,189]

9 minutes ago, Lotts said:

So, if I have left of my own accord due to this situation, that is not my fault, my future vacations are on the line? Am I not eligible for an ESTA after 2-3 years? (I've been here since May 2017)

My over-stay is definitely not my choice. My lack of AOS was not down to me spending money that was designated for the filing.

Am I really being penalised because of what he's done? I cannot come back for vacations? 

Yes, even if the overstay was not your fault you are still barred from the VWP for life. People have lost VWP access by overstaying an hour due to a flight cancellation, for example, or due to being hospitalized. It is what it is. 

 

Can you start mailing items items home to a friend? Depends on how much you have, I suppose. 

 

It sounds like he won’t contest the divorce so that will be one less headache. I do think divorce here would be easier than the U.K. so you should at least start it here. UK divorce laws are very archaic in that you have to provide evidence that you have suitable grounds for a divorce. Mutual consent doesn’t exist in the U.K. as grounds for divorce. 

Edited October 13, 2019 by JFH

[Villanelle 4,121]

It will depend on what date your i94 says. 180 days to 1 year is a 3yr bar. 1 yr or more is 10 yr bar. There is a provision in the law that if you entered on a non immigrant visa and were a battered spouse and can show a connection between that and the overstay it wont be held against you. I have never heard of anyone using that provision to successfully get a tourist visa though. Its mostly used in the VAWA process (VAWA petitioners are not subject to bars like that so they can successfully adjust_) You will not be able to use the ESTA as the pre-screening questions will cause it be denied. You may be able to apply for the B- but again I would expect you to need similar proof as you would need for a VAWA to qualify for the exception due to abuse. 

[Lotts 1,433]

I really have not got a clue what's happening right now. 😂 I've got so many tabs open, my phone is freaking out.

 

Okay, I've checked my i94 status.

I got this as a result.

I'm now very, very confused.

 

Days Overstayed: N/A

 

Days Left to Leave the Country: N/A

[Boiler 43,429]

25 minutes ago, Lotts said:

I really have not got a clue what's happening right now. 😂 I've got so many tabs open, my phone is freaking out.

 

Okay, I've checked my i94 status.

I got this as a result.

I'm now very, very confused.

 

Days Overstayed: N/A

 

Days Left to Leave the Country: N/A

 

Holidaying in the US strikes me as being so low down your list of issues as to be not worthy of consideration.

 

Main issue now is a passport and ticket and somewhere to live when you get back.

[Lotts 1,433]

2 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Holidaying in the US strikes me as being so low down your list of issues as to be not worthy of consideration.

 

Main issue now is a passport and ticket and somewhere to live when you get back.

Oh, definitely.

I'm just struggling with the passport side of things to start. I have somewhere to live lined up.

I just don't want him to completely ruin my life by taking away my freedom... Which it appears he has. 😞

[Boiler 43,429]

Sounds like you need to focus on important issues first, getting home, divorce will take time and can be done by you in the UK or him here, sounds like there are no complication, nobody has anything, just need to get the paperwork done.

[Lotts 1,433]

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Sounds like you need to focus on important issues first, getting home, divorce will take time and can be done by you in the UK or him here, sounds like there are no complication, nobody has anything, just need to get the paperwork done.

It all sounds so dreamy when you say it so simply like that 😂 

 

[JFH 12,189]

7 minutes ago, Lotts said:

Oh, definitely.

I'm just struggling with the passport side of things to start. I have somewhere to live lined up.

I just don't want him to completely ruin my life by taking away my freedom... Which it appears he has. 😞

I know you’re very upset right now and it does cause a feeling of bitterness, but not being to holiday in the US for some years and losing your freedom are very far apart. British people are some of the most free people in the planet. There are 190+ other countries to visit and at least we can travel freely. You don’t have a permanent ban, and it can be waived under certain conditions. 

 

Contact the embassy regarding your passport and how to get home. Once you are out of the environment it will help you to see things more clearly. 

[Boiler 43,429]

6 minutes ago, Lotts said:

It all sounds so dreamy when you say it so simply like that 😂 

 

This is going to seem weird but actually your situation is simpler than many, often I have seen people with ties and staying or going is a balance and complicates matters. Here you have no such issue, just a question of how to get it done.

[Lotts 1,433]

1 minute ago, JFH said:

I know you’re very upset right now and it does cause a feeling of bitterness, but not being to holiday in the US for some years and losing your freedom are very far apart. British people are some of the most free people in the planet. There are 190+ other countries to visit and at least we can travel freely. You don’t have a permanent ban, and it can be waived under certain conditions. 

 

Contact the embassy regarding your passport and how to get home. Once you are out of the environment it will help you to see things more clearly. 

I understand what you're saying...

I literally don't leave the house. I would LOVE to see more of this beautiful country. I barely make it out of this 20 mile radius.

I'm unable to get to a store to get tampons on my own or without fuss! Everything has to go through him and is always when he feels like it. I've not got access to money and he gets angry if I get some $ through eBay, friends as a birthday gift/help with food, or those play games for gift cards asking why I don't give it to him (I buy myself essentials from Amazon).

I'm unable to have a job, I cannot drive, I'm unable to go out with friends here without him giving me grief...

If I want to do anything, there is an argument and all the reasons as to why my existence is useless, how everyone hates me and doesn't want me here.

And that's what I mean by him taking my freedom away.

[JFH 12,189]

4 minutes ago, Boiler said:

This is going to seem weird but actually your situation is simpler than many, often I have seen people with ties and staying or going is a balance and complicates matters. Here you have no such issue, just a question of how to get it done.

I agree. Imagine if there were children involved and he blocked her from taking them out of the country. Or property and assets to divide. Or she were from a country where divorce is taboo or even illegal. Compared to some cases we have seen here, this is “simple” although I do appreciate that for the OP it seems impossible. 

3 minutes ago, Lotts said:

I understand what you're saying...

I literally don't leave the house. I would LOVE to see more of this beautiful country. I barely make it out of this 20 mile radius.

I'm unable to get to a store to get tampons on my own or without fuss! Everything has to go through him and is always when he feels like it. I've not got access to money and he gets angry if I get some $ through eBay, friends as a birthday gift/help with food, or those play games for gift cards asking why I don't give it to him (I buy myself essentials from Amazon).

I'm unable to have a job, I cannot drive, I'm unable to go out with friends here without him giving me grief...

If I want to do anything, there is an argument and all the reasons as to why my existence is useless, how everyone hates me and doesn't want me here.

And that's what I mean by him taking my freedom away.

But by leaving him think of all the freedom you will get back. 

 

This too shall pass. 

Edited October 14, 2019 by JFH

[Lotts 1,433]

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

This is going to seem weird but actually your situation is simpler than many, often I have seen people with ties and staying or going is a balance and complicates matters. Here you have no such issue, just a question of how to get it done.

No, and it is very simple to read. I get that.

But I have no idea of how to do things or where to start with my zero funds and such. Being in the middle of it all, I honestly have no idea where to start or how to go about anything without drama and having to rely on him for anything. I can guarantee he will not do or contribute anything to "get rid of" me. 

I want to leave, I want a divorce, and I just want my life back.

[Lotts 1,433]

3 minutes ago, JFH said:

I agree. Imagine if there were children involved and he blocked her from taking them out of the country. Or property and assets to divide. Or she were from a country where divorce is taboo or even illegal. Compared to some cases we have seen here, this is “simple” although I do appreciate that for the OP it seems impossible. 

But by leaving him think of all the freedom you will get back. 

 

This too shall pass. 

I cannot stop thinking about the freedom. And this is why I'm here. To see what help is out there, what my options are, and how to get rid of the shambles that is/was our marriage.

 

I cannot thank you enough for the links and advice so far. I've set an alarm to call the embassy once he has gone to work.

[melindaabdullah 192]

You need to get to the UK embassy as they will be better to advise you . They also can get you back to your country. If you need you help getting to the embassy please feel free to contact me.