The world’s most dangerous countries for women 2018

[yuna628 9,527]

6 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

What makes you think it was a bad thing? Perhaps he was trying to help you reach an item on the top shelf, and touched you to get your attention?  What did he do after he touched you and looked at you?

 

My wife gets looked at every time she steps out the door.  Pretty people of both sexes (and all 69 genders) are gonna get that, it's a fact of life.  If you're prettier than average, you should be used to it by now.  

I think it was because of the fact that he didn't tap her arm or touch her arm or even say 'excuse me ma'am do you need help?' He flicked her arm. A flick is quite different than a tap or using your voice. I don't know any woman that would appreciate such behavior, and I don't think any husband should tolerate such behavior toward their wives either.

 

I can recall a time where a man suddenly approached me in a grocery store as I was walking to another area, got extremely close into my personal space (close enough to grab my hip or butt or grind against me!) grabbed me by the arm (!!!!) and started talking to me as if he thought he knew me or I was his partner. I twisted away from him, elbowed him, and advised him to get away. He continued to follow me aggressively through the store, swearing and leering until I approached security. Should I have taken his behavior as not nefarious?

 

Even if the other posters experience was not truly nefarious, I can say without doubt that some people need to be acutely aware of personal space.

 

This has not been the last or even the worst experience I and other women have had. Pretty women or non pretty woman, any woman does not deserve the behavior some display towards them.

[Boiler 43,391]

Not just Men and Women, all Genders.

[laylalex 7,245]

41 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Always nice chatting with you Laylalex.

Here we go with "the system" again. As someone who has spent some time in England, you know, or should know, what a flexible and open "system" we have here in the States, compared to back home. If one cannot overcome the obstacles in this free and open society, they're not trying hard enough. For example, much as I loathe the man, your President Clinton (fortunately the one and only) came from nothing, graduated from an Ivy League school, and became president. I don't admire the man, but I do admire the work ethic.

 

It seems as if you're trying to spin your ex's accomplishments to support your own narrative. I'm sure your ex's father provided a foundation, but I've known too many trust fund brats who, given large sums of money, throw it all to the wind. He could have easily done that. But instead, he built on it and turned it into his own success, and provided (however briefly) a nice life for you. Money is not the source of success, it is the reward for success. Coming from means has its own challenges, and can often be a more difficult road than the child coming in with no expectations placed on him. Whatever support your ex took from his father, there were no doubt expectations and guidelines. There was also the temptation to rest on his laurels, live a life of luxury and provide no value to society. Instead, it seems he chose the harder road.

Personally I find Bill Clinton a terrible example of a human being, even if he did come up from basically nothing. His success story is a classic "only in America" one. But his legacy is problematic, to say the least, and he is a serial cheater. 

 

And yes, my ex DID provide me with a nice life, at least from the outside. I lived in a nice big house with a housekeeper and plenty of time and money and no worries about where my next meal was coming from. All of his "rewards for success" brought me these things. But it was money that made it all a trap -- I was regularly reminded how "good" I had it because I had all of these things, even though I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. And I believed all of this, because it wasn't like I was being physically abused, and there was always some object or experience I could have to distract me from how very miserable I was. I am out now and even if I *do* rely on his support still -- I am legally entitled to it -- I am not living anywhere near as comfortable a life now. But I am comfortable enough, and I don't have someone mistreating me anymore.

 

To your last points, to be fair, my ex did not rest on his laurels, he was always working hard to make our lives more comfortable. It was one of the reasons I eventually drifted away from him -- he was never around, and when he was, it wasn't always pleasant.

[beloved_dingo 1,930]

24 minutes ago, ALFKAD said:

What makes you think it was a bad thing? Perhaps he was trying to help you reach an item on the top shelf, and touched you to get your attention?  What did he do after he touched you and looked at you?

 

My wife gets looked at every time she steps out the door.  Pretty people of both sexes (and all 69 genders) are gonna get that, it's a fact of life.  If you're prettier than average, you should be used to it by now.  

I completely disagree with this. Just because someone fits a person's idea of "attractive" does not mean they should have to "get used to" being touched or spoken to in a way that makes them uncomfortable. Also being looked at by a stranger and being touched by a stranger are very different things. 

 

As a side note, it is not uncommon for victims of prior abuse to "overreact" when someone unexpectedly invades their personal space, regardless of intent. 

 

[laylalex 7,245]

12 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

I think it was because of the fact that he didn't tap her arm or touch her arm or even say 'excuse me ma'am do you need help?' He flicked her arm. A flick is quite different than a tap or using your voice. I don't know any woman that would appreciate such behavior, and I don't think any husband should tolerate such behavior toward their wives either.

 

I can recall a time where a man suddenly approached me in a grocery store as I was walking to another area, got extremely close into my personal space (close enough to grab my hip or butt or grind against me!) grabbed me by the arm (!!!!) and started talking to me as if he thought he knew me or I was his partner. I twisted away from him, elbowed him, and advised him to get away. He continued to follow me aggressively through the store, swearing and leering until I approached security. Should I have taken his behavior as not nefarious?

 

Even if the other posters experience was not truly nefarious, I can say without doubt that some people need to be acutely aware of personal space.

 

This has not been the last or even the worst experience I and other women have had. Pretty women or non pretty woman, any woman does not deserve the behavior some display towards them.

Thank you, and sorry to read of your experience. Unfortunately it rings pretty true for me too. I have been touched and prodded and grabbed and moved in public places in more ways than I care to think about. It doesn't have anything to do with me being pretty or not. Some people might think that because I am on the prettier side of the conventional attractiveness scale that I should be "used" to it, but being pretty doesn't mean that I have an open invitation to be hassled, physically or otherwise. I do not like being touched without consent, which I don't think is a very controversial point of view. I don't think men like being touched without consent either. 

[laylalex 7,245]

4 minutes ago, beloved_dingo said:

I completely disagree with this. Just because someone fits a person's idea of "attractive" does not mean they should have to "get used to" being touched or spoken to in a way that makes them uncomfortable. Also being looked at by a stranger and being touched by a stranger are very different things. 

 

As a side note, it is not uncommon for victims of prior abuse to "overreact" when someone unexpectedly invades their personal space, regardless of intent. 

 

Precisely!!!! I am "used" to being looked at. Some of the looks make me uncomfortable but whatever. It is when I feel threatened because my physical space is being invaded, or someone touches me without my consent -- intentional touching -- that I believe someone has acted wrongly. It is NOT okay to do these things. Children of all sexes and genders need to be taught when they are young that they need to seek consent to touch someone else. It is just plain rude on top of triggering to some people. It's not that difficult a lesson to teach, and adults should learn it too. 

[Boris Farage 353]

17 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Not just Men and Women, all Genders.

Agreed. As I've said previously,  I too have been a victim of "unwanted attention" in the form of a young woman trying to set me up for a fall. It all worked out in the end (well for me, not so well for her), but the important thing to know is that we can all be victims in the blink of an eye.

[yuna628 9,527]

1 minute ago, laylalex said:

Thank you, and sorry to read of your experience. Unfortunately it rings pretty true for me too. I have been touched and prodded and grabbed and moved in public places in more ways than I care to think about. It doesn't have anything to do with me being pretty or not. Some people might think that because I am on the prettier side of the conventional attractiveness scale that I should be "used" to it, but being pretty doesn't mean that I have an open invitation to be hassled, physically or otherwise. I do not like being touched without consent, which I don't think is a very controversial point of view. I don't think men like being touched without consent either. 

I don't think they do either - of course you'll get chuckles about ''well I don't mind if a beautiful woman touches me" sort of thing by some if asked. A person's attractiveness should have nothing to do with proper or improper behavior of the people they encounter on a daily basis. I mean I know a lady that gets men leering all the time. Her husband says he finds it funny or acts almost as if he enjoys it. She does not enjoy it, and it makes her view him a little bit less in her eyes, because he does nothing to speak up for her and dismisses how she feels. A woman's perceived beauty does not give the right for another person to invade her space, leer, or attempt such really wrong behavior. Can we not be better than this in society?

[Boris Farage 353]

15 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Personally I find Bill Clinton a terrible example of a human being, even if he did come up from basically nothing. His success story is a classic "only in America" one. But his legacy is problematic, to say the least, and he is a serial cheater.

Ah, common ground. 😉 Yes, politics aside, I have no time for cheaters. They are the worst sort. Honestly, I'm unable to comprehend how they live with the shame. Yet he goes on with his life, acting as if he's some sort of moral leader, when in fact we can all see right through him. I digress.
 

17 minutes ago, laylalex said:

To your last points, to be fair, my ex did not rest on his laurels, he was always working hard to make our lives more comfortable. It was one of the reasons I eventually drifted away from him -- he was never around, and when he was, it wasn't always pleasant.

Responsibility lies heavy on the shoulders of the sole provider. It's sounds a tragic situation for all involved.

[Dashinka 23,198]

1 hour ago, laylalex said:

Where does it say that in the article or the headline? I read the Reuters piece and didn't see that in there.

Apologies, carryover from another thread, where CBP/ICE were labeled as Nazis, but this woman from Guatemala was certainly happy to see them when she came across the border illegally

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,315]

2 hours ago, laylalex said:

So... hello there again! While I agree with your point that people need to work to succeed, and can't just expect success to fall into their laps because they want it, I don't think it's completely right to say that working hard is the only thing that will get you to achieving your dreams. Some people get a leg up that gives them a boost before they even start trying. This isn't to say that all white people have privilege, or no black people do, or any other minority (racial or otherwise) do. But the system is stacked in favor of some people -- people who come from family money, or people who were born in an area with great school districts, or people with really involved parents. For example, my ex-husband is someone who has done very nicely for himself in life. He is a company director, makes a ton of money, has several beautiful homes. I'm not saying he doesn't work hard, but he got to where he is because his father really did work hard -- working class guy who sacrificed everything (especially his relationship with his son and daughter when they were young) to build a successful business. And when my ex was old enough to join the firm, he did. Not as a trainee or intern, but with a seat at the boardroom table. He was 21 and I knew him back then -- he was pretty smart, but he wasn't a genius (only just got a 2:2 in Modern History, it was almost a third). But he didn't have to prove himself, not at the start at least. He had the space and time to fail repeatedly and learn from his failures without worrying he would be out of a job. And in time he learned to be good at what he did/does. I won't say he isn't, as least as far as I know. But it's just not the same as really starting from zero, like his dad did.

Just out of morbid curosity is that Ton of money ones, fives, 10s, 20, 50s or 100s 

[laylalex 7,245]

11 minutes ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

Just out of morbid curosity is that Ton of money ones, fives, 10s, 20, 50s or 100s 

LOL! He would kill me to mention how much but let's just say... they were of the 100 variety, at least what was in USD. 

[laylalex 7,245]

58 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Ah, common ground. 😉 Yes, politics aside, I have no time for cheaters. They are the worst sort. Honestly, I'm unable to comprehend how they live with the shame. Yet he goes on with his life, acting as if he's some sort of moral leader, when in fact we can all see right through him. I digress.
 

Responsibility lies heavy on the shoulders of the sole provider. It's sounds a tragic situation for all involved.

I don't think cheating is always the end to a relationship, particularly when the "cheating" is of the emotional variety, and there hasn't been any physical contact. Different couples will react in different ways, clearly the Clintons worked it out in some way. I suspected my ex of cheating with at least one of his assistants, but I never could get proof. He swears he has proof of me cheating on him but I have no idea how that could be the case when I never did! Just another power move.

 

And yes, he was the sole provider, but only because he insisted that I not work and focus on starting a family. I wasn't happy with it but since I wanted to keep him happy, I went along with it. It was tragic, yes.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

1 hour ago, Boris Farage said:

I too have been a victim of "unwanted attention" 

Send pics* and I will let you know if that attention should be considered unwanted or not. 

 

*Fully clothed, please. This is a family-friendly website. 

[Boris Farage 353]

1 minute ago, elmcitymaven said:

Send pics* and I will let you know if that attention should be considered unwanted or not. 

 

*Fully clothed, please. This is a family-friendly website. 

😂 Would that it were possible elmcitymaven, but for legal reasons pertaining to the incident in question, I must politely decline. I am, however, flattered. 😉