she’s just not that into you.

[Nature Boy 2.0 8,315]

34 minutes ago, cyclone27 said:

Social awkwardness would be a prime factor for the present generation. 

 

Don’t know how to socialize and have no game.  

Agree . I got divorced at about age 46.  I am also overweight (but at the time a power lifter now I am just fat) I can say I had way more sex  of every variety and race you can name  from age 46 until I remarried than I ever dreamed of having when I was in my 20's. Women care a lot more in your 40s and 50's if you have a job, use soap, dont live with mom, are not a psycho and a have good personality that they do if you have washboard abs I am just saying this for technical purposes because of many false assertions here. I can go into more detail and upload spreadsheets if anyone wants details

[Prizm123 1,084]

41 minutes ago, Bill & Katya said:

I was more thinking that we had two hypotheses bubbling, the use of the internet and now obesity.  I was just wondering if those two were truly independent.

there is always the stereotype of the mt dew drinking gamer guy with cheetoh flavored fingers sitting in moms basement playing videogames all day with horrible diet and morbidly obese

 

38 minutes ago, yuna628 said:

I think that fat people still do manage to be attracted to each other and have sexual relationships. Everyone has a different idea of 'attractiveness'.

 

I know these studies try to use catchy headlines... but maybe a different question we should be asking, do sex = love? Are the people not having sex not in love with each other?

i think you raise a good point actually

 

i think that there are people that treat relationships much the same way as anything else now, as temporary and disposable, and they may not be looking necessarily for mr or mrs right, but mr or mrs right now

 

us older people still value the concept of love i think, but it may be considered quaint and a relic of a bygone era to some folks who may just be too jaded to let themselves experience it.

 

 

[Prizm123 1,084]

1 minute ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

Agree . I got divorced at about age 46.  I am also overweight (but at the time a power lifter now I am just fat) I can say I had way more sex  of every variety and race you can name  from age 46 until I remarried than I ever dreamed of having when I was in my 20's. Women care a lot more in your 40s and 50's if you have a job, use soap, dont live with mom, are not a psycho and a have good personality that they do if you have washboard abs I am just saying this for technical purposes because of many false assertions here. I can go into more detail and upload spreadsheets if anyone wants details

just because you cant headline wrestlemania anymore..... you can still style and profile

[yuna628 9,528]

10 minutes ago, Prizm123 said:

there is always the stereotype of the mt dew drinking gamer guy with cheetoh flavored fingers sitting in moms basement playing videogames all day with horrible diet and morbidly obese

 

i think you raise a good point actually

 

i think that there are people that treat relationships much the same way as anything else now, as temporary and disposable, and they may not be looking necessarily for mr or mrs right, but mr or mrs right now

 

us older people still value the concept of love i think, but it may be considered quaint and a relic of a bygone era to some folks who may just be too jaded to let themselves experience it.

 

 

In my case both me and my husband were introverts, gamers, similar interests - that weren't sitting in moms basement (though I knew plenty of those guys too.. some were losers and some weren't... knew some guys that thought they were god's gift and were the biggest preening losers ever). If a guy is a gentleman, attentive and sweet those are always plus points for me. We're both old fashioned type people though; we are as happy gaming as much as we enjoy hiking and traveling. I think there is some resurgence of younger people that are valuing love.. perhaps they have seen failed examples of their parent's marriages that has steered them in a better direction. That can work other ways too.. in steering them away from deeper relationships completely... but my hope is, there's still people out there that care more deeply about the meaning of love.

[Boiler 43,434]

I was just wondering why it changed so  much, I do know a lot of men of an older age group who basically and very simplistically are not interested in getting married as they see it as a bad deal.

 

The other comment I have had is women who seem shall we say very choosy even though they are not exactly in a position to be choosy,

[millefleur 5,035]

8 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I was just wondering why it changed so  much, I do know a lot of men of an older age group who basically and very simplistically are not interested in getting married as they see it as a bad deal.

 

The other comment I have had is women who seem shall we say very choosy even though they are not exactly in a position to be choosy,

There's a trend towards women being more and more independent as a societal expectation. I was discussing with a good friend the other day, he's in his late 50's and has a step daughter (in her 20's, a college kid) that he loves very very much. He never had his own kids so the step daughter is everything to him. He told me his biggest concern is that his daughter can be independent and live on her own and do well. No mention of "I hope she finds a nice man" or has a nice family/happy marriage. I think there's just a huge shift away from this even being a hope for young people to have happy marriages or families, and more a hope of "I hope my child has a great career and financial success" or something along these lines.

 

It might be due to the fact that a lot of said parents have not been the luckiest in love themselves and are therefore skeptical of romance/happy marriages. Perhaps more so in big cities. My friend mentioned above is from NYC, this certainly seems to be very common in big cities as opposed to the South or more socially conservative parts where marriage is still an expectation (or at least an optimistic hope) that parents have for young people.

[Boiler 43,434]

1 minute ago, millefleur said:

There's a trend towards women being more and more independent as a societal expectation. I was discussing with a good friend the other day, he's in his late 50's and has a step daughter (in her 20's, a college kid) that he loves very very much. He never had his own kids so the step daughter is everything to him. He told me his biggest concern is that his daughter can be independent and live on her own and do well. No mention of "I hope she finds a nice man" or has a nice family/happy marriage. I think there's just a huge shift away from this even being a hope for young people to have happy marriages or families, and more a hope of "I hope my child has a great career and financial success" or something along these lines.

 

It might be due to the fact that a lot of said parents have not been the luckiest in love themselves and are therefore skeptical of romance/happy marriages. Perhaps more so in big cities. My friend mentioned above is from NYC, this certainly seems to be very common in big cities as opposed to the South or more socially conservative parts where marriage is still an expectation (or at least an optimistic hope) that parents have for young people.

I think those are valid comments, in balance and this was mainly from a friends girl friend talking about her female friends. The impression I got about these friends, middle aged and supportive of each other and she had the comment 'you can do better' even though her BF seems fine by me. And then another friend who does very nicely but does not have a Degree so does not past first base. Actually that has a double meaning.,

 

Then there seems to be the post 30 woman who suddenly wants a good man and can not find one.

 

Seems like societies are twisting in unforeseen ways, good I guess if you are a cat.

[millefleur 5,035]

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I think those are valid comments, in balance and this was mainly from a friends girl friend talking about her female friends. The impression I got about these friends, middle aged and supportive of each other and she had the comment 'you can do better' even though her BF seems fine by me. And then another friend who does very nicely but does not have a Degree so does not past first base. Actually that has a double meaning.,

 

Then there seems to be the post 30 woman who suddenly wants a good man and can not find one.

 

Seems like societies are twisting in unforeseen ways, good I guess if you are a cat.

I've noticed this as well. It could open up a whole can of worms discussion about well, is it really good for women to be hyper competitive career women into their 30's only to turn around and realize they maybe do want to settle down after all, but then after being used to being so independent and competitive it seems like nobody is good enough? Of course these are all generalizations but it seems on both sides (men and women) the standards are held really high and this is probably contributing to both men and women throwing the towel in altogether about marriage (which is hard work in and of itself!). That plus being the children of divorced parents who are skeptical about marriage, probably telling their kids that it isn't worth it or maybe they grew up during an ugly bitter divorce and are afraid of going through that themselves...just a lot of negativity out there coupled with the "I deserve better" attitudes.

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

8 hours ago, Boiler said:

If you fall into the 28% or maybe higher percentage who may have minimal success perhaps you look overseas?

 

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

I was just wondering why it changed so  much, I do know a lot of men of an older age group who basically and very simplistically are not interested in getting married as they see it as a bad deal.

 

The other comment I have had is women who seem shall we say very choosy even though they are not exactly in a position to be choosy,

I doubt the age group 18-30 goes looking overseas.  That is more of a mature arena, I think.  Maybe mostly because it takes time and money to explore overseas?  Though surely the internet makes it easier than it was when we were that age.  But I know when I was in that age range, I never considered looking overseas for a mate (though today i encourage folks to do so).

 

18-30, most guys don't have a clue on how to approach, talk to, and engage women in conversation.  Guys are more focused on one particular result, and most women find that to be a turn off.  Now that I am older, wiser, and not seeking such, I find it very easy to talk to women, and feel like I could easily be more successful in "the chase" if I wanted to pursue it.  Women are attracted to confidence and success, and they can smell desperation a mile away, if you follow my drift. 

 

I do get a lot of "I wish I had done what you did" from married guys who are you get than myself (having a foreign spouse).  But I don't see too many younger men actually pursuing it.

[Voice of Reason 10,298]

Also... the older I've gotten, and having been divorced twice, I find marriage to be an old custom that has little benefit and allows the government a say so in a personal relationship.

 

I envy the men I've met recently who are older than I and still single. (And I have a terrific spouse)

Edited March 31, 2019 by ALFKAD

[TBoneTX 43,058]

1 hour ago, millefleur said:

after being used to being so independent and competitive it seems like nobody is good enough

-- they don't know how to look for someone, or how to relate

-- no matter how successful they are, they still want to marry "up" (thus limiting their prospects)

-- they turn men off with their attitudes

2 hours ago, Boiler said:

women who seem shall we say very choosy even though they are not exactly in a position to be choosy,

And this.

[Chris Duffy 1,256]

5 hours ago, ALFKAD said:

Also... the older I've gotten, and having been divorced twice, I find marriage to be an old custom that has little benefit and allows the government a say so in a personal relationship.

 

I envy the men I've met recently who are older than I and still single. (And I have a terrific spouse)

Same here, my wife is great but I would have no issue being single again

[Boiler 43,434]

8 hours ago, ALFKAD said:

 

I doubt the age group 18-30 goes looking overseas.  That is more of a mature arena, I think.  Maybe mostly because it takes time and money to explore overseas?  Though surely the internet makes it easier than it was when we were that age.  But I know when I was in that age range, I never considered looking overseas for a mate (though today i encourage folks to do so).

 

18-30, most guys don't have a clue on how to approach, talk to, and engage women in conversation.  Guys are more focused on one particular result, and most women find that to be a turn off.  Now that I am older, wiser, and not seeking such, I find it very easy to talk to women, and feel like I could easily be more successful in "the chase" if I wanted to pursue it.  Women are attracted to confidence and success, and they can smell desperation a mile away, if you follow my drift. 

 

I do get a lot of "I wish I had done what you did" from married guys who are you get than myself (having a foreign spouse).  But I don't see too many younger men actually pursuing it.

I agree I was thinking of when they age out and then decide what they want to do if anything and then consider the options.

[Prizm123 1,084]

7 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

-- they don't know how to look for someone, or how to relate

-- no matter how successful they are, they still want to marry "up" (thus limiting their prospects)

-- they turn men off with their attitudes

 

 

10 hours ago, Boiler said:

The other comment I have had is women who seem shall we say very choosy even though they are not exactly in a position to be choosy,

just check the dating sites. i don't know about your cities, but in mine, it is filled with women who fall into one of the following categories: morbidly obese,  narcissists, ugly,  lazy, drug addicts, extremely stupid, or gold diggers....or in most cases some horrible combination of these undesirable traits

 

and they all want someone who is christian grey and looks like some random meathead on some show they like

 

 

[Neonred 3,446]

14 hours ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

Agree . I got divorced at about age 46.  I am also overweight (but at the time a power lifter now I am just fat) I can say I had way more sex  of every variety and race you can name  from age 46 until I remarried than I ever dreamed of having when I was in my 20's. Women care a lot more in your 40s and 50's if you have a job, use soap, dont live with mom, are not a psycho and a have good personality that they do if you have washboard abs I am just saying this for technical purposes because of many false assertions here. I can go into more detail and upload spreadsheets if anyone wants details

Reminds me of my past.  I met the greatest girl in the summer between I think my second and third years of college.  I was just a simple geology major at South Carolina.  She was so cute, funny, a home and consumer economics major that could cook anything from scratch, make her own clothes, etc.  We were great together and so in love, but we were going to school almost 1000 miles from each other.  We eventually broke up and it was my fault as I was young and immature and I got bored with her ( or at least wanted to explore...).   A year or so later I met her in a bar.  She asked what I was doing and I told her I was leaving for Louisville in a few weeks to start dental school.  WOW did things change.  She put on the full court press...talked about us getting back together and how she would love to move to Louisville and they had a great graduate program for her and.....  I think she was ready to get married.   Told her she knew how to get a hold of me.  Of course a few days later she is calling.  Got together with her once but played it cool.

 

I still think about her and wonder if I made a mistake blowing her off and missing my second chance.  Wonder what my life would have been like if....  Would love to just see a picture of her now.  Kind of hope she is fat and ugly.

 

Damn I am still a horrible person.

 

 

Edited March 31, 2019 by Neonred