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Dianalorena

Husband and I are divorcing, worried. What's next?

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Unfortunately, my husband and I have decided to get a divorce. We fought hard to make it work and tried our best,  but we want very different things and show love in very different ways. 

He has serious panic attacks/depression and insecurities that got progressively worse and ultimately he broke my trust by going out with a girl that he met on Tinder, He came clean and we tried yet again by him moving out for a few weeks, and during that time he realized he wants to date her. I won't bore you with the details. Even if I'm hurt we want to do things as amicable as possible since we know this is ultimately for the best.  Married for over two years, but removing conditions in 2020. 

Questions are: 

 

Do I file for divorce in the U.S even though we got married in Mexico? Is it possible? 

 

Do I file to remove conditions after the divorce is final without waiting for 2020? 

 

what type of evidence should I send? We have a lease together,  e-mails back and forth discussing what happened,

I read that I need a letter explaining the reason, but I'm worried still. Is it time to hire a lawyer?

 

thank you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


🇲🇽  & 🇺🇸

➺ 01/07/17 Got married in Cozumel ❤️

➺ 01/15/17 Delays: Mexican bureaucracy 

➺ 02/04/17 Petition mailed, here we go 

➺ 02/08/17 Case Assigned to USCIS Nebraska, sigh. 

➺ 02/13/17 We got our NOA1! PD: February 8th 

➺ 12/15/17 NOA2 finally! after 10 1/2 painful months. 

➺ 12/21/17 NVC confirmed they received our file 

➺ 01/11/18 Case number and IIN assigned! 

➺ 01/12/18 DS-261, choice of agent  filled 

➺ 01/15/18 AOS bill invoiced and paid 

➺ 01/20/18 AOS and IV packages completed 

➺ 01/22/18 Documents sent to Rapidvisa 

01/25/18 NVC replied! IV bill invoiced and paid

➺ 01/28/18  DS-260 completed! 

➺ 02/02/18 AOS and civil documents sent to NVC!

➺ 02/05/18  NVC received our package 

➺ 02/09/18  Scan date, more waiting... 

03/15/18 Case complete!  Yas queen! 

06/27/18  We got our Interview date! August 28th 

08/28/18 The interview!!! we got approved!!!! 

08/30/18 The package arrived (waited at Juarez)

08/31/18 Finally back in the U.S with my hubby ❤️ 

 

10 1/2 from NOA1 to NOA2, 2 months at NVC for CC  5 1/2 months from CC to interview :  561 days total. (1.5 years) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,  

you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

— When Harry Met Sally


 

 

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I’m sorry that happened. 

 

You can file divorce here, doesn’t matter if you got married elsewhere.

 

You can either file for roc within the timeframe before the green card expires or when you get the divorce decree.

 

for roc you need to gather as much evidence as you can, showing mainly commingling of finances and sharing residence.

 

you don’t need a lawyer. Start reading threads at the roc forum, there are a lot of them with evidence lists and such.

 

best of luck


07/09/2018: ROC packet sent with USPS 2-day priority shipping

07/11/2018: ROC packet delivered to the Vermont Service Center

07/16/2018: NOA1 received by mail with 18 months extension (notice date 7/12 and check cashed)

08/07/2018: Biometrics appointment letter received by mail (notice date 7/27)

08/13/2018: Biometrics appointment at east Hartford, ct

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11 minutes ago, Dianalorena said:

Do I file for divorce in the U.S even though we got married in Mexico? Is it possible? 

Yes. You can divorce from within the US fine. Married anywhere = married in the US (so long as the marriage complies with US laws).

 

11 minutes ago, Dianalorena said:

Do I file to remove conditions after the divorce is final without waiting for 2020? 

With a divorce waiver, you can file anytime from the divorce being final to the expiration period of your conditional status (2 years from when you became a permanent resident).

Filing late is possible as well, but don't do that when you can file on time.

 

11 minutes ago, Dianalorena said:

what type of evidence should I send? We have a lease together,  e-mails back and forth discussing what happened,

I read that I need a letter explaining the reason, but I'm worried still. Is it time to hire a lawyer?

No "reason" for divorce is required. What they will expect is evidence of a bona fide marriage.


Timelines:

Spoiler

AOS (I-485 + I-131 + I-765):

9/25/17: sent forms to Chicago

9/27/17: received by USCIS

10/4/17: NOA1 electronic notification received

10/10/17: NOA1 hard copy received. Social Security card being issued in married name (3rd attempt!)

10/14/17: Biometrics appointment notice received

10/25/17: Biometrics

1/2/18: EAD + AP approved (no website update)

1/5/18: EAD + AP mailed

1/8/18: EAD + AP approval notice hardcopies received

1/10/18: EAD + AP received

9/5/18: Interview scheduled notice

10/17/18: Interview

10/24/18: Green card produced notice

10/25/18: Formal approval

10/31/18: Green card received

 

K-1:

Spoiler

I-129F

12/1/17: sent

12/14/17: NOA1 hard copy received

3/10/17: RFE (IMB verification)

3/22/17: RFE response received

3/24/17: Approved!

3/30/17: NOA2 hard copy received

 

NVC

4/6/2017: Received

4/12/2017: Sent to Riyadh embassy

4/16/2017: Case received at Riyadh embassy

4/21/2017: Request case transfer to Manila, approved 4/24/2017

 

K-1

5/1/2017: Case received by Manila (1 week embassy transfer??? Lucky~)

7/13/2017: Interview: APPROVED!!!

7/19/2017: Visa in hand

8/15/2017: POE

 

 

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Just now, geowrian said:

Yes. You can divorce from within the US fine. Married anywhere = married in the US (so long as the marriage complies with US laws).

 

With a divorce waiver, you can file anytime from the divorce being final to the expiration period of your conditional status (2 years from when you became a permanent resident).

Filing late is possible as well, but don't do that when you can file on time.

 

No "reason" for divorce is required. What they will expect is evidence of a bona fide marriage.

thank you for the help, I'll get on it.  Definitely no point in filing late. 

 

Yeah sorry, I meant the evidence of the marriage. Although a letter explaining the reason for the divorce is usually part of it , isn't it?

I front-loaded my application and sent quite a bit, are they expecting more of the same? I have a copy of the lease, the e-mails, we filed taxes jointly this year, I'm on his insurance still and other things we were saving for the ROC. 


🇲🇽  & 🇺🇸

➺ 01/07/17 Got married in Cozumel ❤️

➺ 01/15/17 Delays: Mexican bureaucracy 

➺ 02/04/17 Petition mailed, here we go 

➺ 02/08/17 Case Assigned to USCIS Nebraska, sigh. 

➺ 02/13/17 We got our NOA1! PD: February 8th 

➺ 12/15/17 NOA2 finally! after 10 1/2 painful months. 

➺ 12/21/17 NVC confirmed they received our file 

➺ 01/11/18 Case number and IIN assigned! 

➺ 01/12/18 DS-261, choice of agent  filled 

➺ 01/15/18 AOS bill invoiced and paid 

➺ 01/20/18 AOS and IV packages completed 

➺ 01/22/18 Documents sent to Rapidvisa 

01/25/18 NVC replied! IV bill invoiced and paid

➺ 01/28/18  DS-260 completed! 

➺ 02/02/18 AOS and civil documents sent to NVC!

➺ 02/05/18  NVC received our package 

➺ 02/09/18  Scan date, more waiting... 

03/15/18 Case complete!  Yas queen! 

06/27/18  We got our Interview date! August 28th 

08/28/18 The interview!!! we got approved!!!! 

08/30/18 The package arrived (waited at Juarez)

08/31/18 Finally back in the U.S with my hubby ❤️ 

 

10 1/2 from NOA1 to NOA2, 2 months at NVC for CC  5 1/2 months from CC to interview :  561 days total. (1.5 years) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,  

you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

— When Harry Met Sally


 

 

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Diana I'm so sorry.  It took forever for you to get here and now this.   ***hugs***

Now onto your most recent question.  You do not need to include any reason as to why you're divorcing.  You just need to show you entered into the marriage with genuine intent.  Anything that show you co-mingled finances and lived together is good for ROC. 


You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

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:( , D2 ma'am.

Follow the advice above, and lean on us here.


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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I am so sorry! This is a tough period in your life. All the worries and concerns about the visa process and then the adjustment process afterwards.

 

Sending you all my best wishes and hope things turn out amicably. Just a word of advice: please make copies of the most necessary documents. One never knows how the mood of the day may change and what was amicable before may turn out to be less amicable later on. Better be prepared than sorry. 

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On 3/4/2019 at 6:23 PM, NikLR said:

Diana I'm so sorry.  It took forever for you to get here and now this.   ***hugs***

Now onto your most recent question.  You do not need to include any reason as to why you're divorcing.  You just need to show you entered into the marriage with genuine intent.  Anything that show you co-mingled finances and lived together is good for ROC. 

I truly appreciate it, I'm heartbroken we both are.. but as much as we tried, it's just making us both miserable.

 

I don't have a lot of evidence of co-mingled finances unfortunately, we just lived together for six months and I get paid in cash a lot so I'd just pay my part of the rent that way. but I do have the following:

 

*lease of us living together (that ends in July) with both of our names

* His life insurance naming me as his beneficiary 

* Gym membership naming me as his emergency contact

*Insurance cards with both of our names, through his job

*e-mails back and forth including the land-lady 

*joint bank account but I never use it. I'll see if he can send it

we did file taxes together, will also ask for an e-mail with the info

 

anything else I should have/try to get? 

 

 


🇲🇽  & 🇺🇸

➺ 01/07/17 Got married in Cozumel ❤️

➺ 01/15/17 Delays: Mexican bureaucracy 

➺ 02/04/17 Petition mailed, here we go 

➺ 02/08/17 Case Assigned to USCIS Nebraska, sigh. 

➺ 02/13/17 We got our NOA1! PD: February 8th 

➺ 12/15/17 NOA2 finally! after 10 1/2 painful months. 

➺ 12/21/17 NVC confirmed they received our file 

➺ 01/11/18 Case number and IIN assigned! 

➺ 01/12/18 DS-261, choice of agent  filled 

➺ 01/15/18 AOS bill invoiced and paid 

➺ 01/20/18 AOS and IV packages completed 

➺ 01/22/18 Documents sent to Rapidvisa 

01/25/18 NVC replied! IV bill invoiced and paid

➺ 01/28/18  DS-260 completed! 

➺ 02/02/18 AOS and civil documents sent to NVC!

➺ 02/05/18  NVC received our package 

➺ 02/09/18  Scan date, more waiting... 

03/15/18 Case complete!  Yas queen! 

06/27/18  We got our Interview date! August 28th 

08/28/18 The interview!!! we got approved!!!! 

08/30/18 The package arrived (waited at Juarez)

08/31/18 Finally back in the U.S with my hubby ❤️ 

 

10 1/2 from NOA1 to NOA2, 2 months at NVC for CC  5 1/2 months from CC to interview :  561 days total. (1.5 years) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,  

you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

— When Harry Met Sally


 

 

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18 hours ago, R&OC said:

I am so sorry! This is a tough period in your life. All the worries and concerns about the visa process and then the adjustment process afterwards.

 

Sending you all my best wishes and hope things turn out amicably. Just a word of advice: please make copies of the most necessary documents. One never knows how the mood of the day may change and what was amicable before may turn out to be less amicable later on. Better be prepared than sorry. 

I agree, I'm hoping things remain amicable but just to make sure I'm taking care of the documents I need: marriage certificate and ''evidence'' of bona fide relationship. I truly appreciate the support, it's rough but I know I can get through this. 


🇲🇽  & 🇺🇸

➺ 01/07/17 Got married in Cozumel ❤️

➺ 01/15/17 Delays: Mexican bureaucracy 

➺ 02/04/17 Petition mailed, here we go 

➺ 02/08/17 Case Assigned to USCIS Nebraska, sigh. 

➺ 02/13/17 We got our NOA1! PD: February 8th 

➺ 12/15/17 NOA2 finally! after 10 1/2 painful months. 

➺ 12/21/17 NVC confirmed they received our file 

➺ 01/11/18 Case number and IIN assigned! 

➺ 01/12/18 DS-261, choice of agent  filled 

➺ 01/15/18 AOS bill invoiced and paid 

➺ 01/20/18 AOS and IV packages completed 

➺ 01/22/18 Documents sent to Rapidvisa 

01/25/18 NVC replied! IV bill invoiced and paid

➺ 01/28/18  DS-260 completed! 

➺ 02/02/18 AOS and civil documents sent to NVC!

➺ 02/05/18  NVC received our package 

➺ 02/09/18  Scan date, more waiting... 

03/15/18 Case complete!  Yas queen! 

06/27/18  We got our Interview date! August 28th 

08/28/18 The interview!!! we got approved!!!! 

08/30/18 The package arrived (waited at Juarez)

08/31/18 Finally back in the U.S with my hubby ❤️ 

 

10 1/2 from NOA1 to NOA2, 2 months at NVC for CC  5 1/2 months from CC to interview :  561 days total. (1.5 years) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,  

you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

— When Harry Met Sally


 

 

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Dianalorena said:

I truly appreciate it, I'm heartbroken we both are.. but as much as we tried, it's just making us both miserable.

 

I don't have a lot of evidence of co-mingled finances unfortunately, we just lived together for six months and I get paid in cash a lot so I'd just pay my part of the rent that way. but I do have the following:

 

*lease of us living together (that ends in July) with both of our names

* His life insurance naming me as his beneficiary 

* Gym membership naming me as his emergency contact

*Insurance cards with both of our names, through his job

*e-mails back and forth including the land-lady 

*joint bank account but I never use it. I'll see if he can send it

we did file taxes together, will also ask for an e-mail with the info

 

anything else I should have/try to get? 

 

 

Do you have utility bills? Get a few monthly bank statements with both your name on it, if you can. Secure the most recent pictures and the joint tax filing. If you have joint bank accounts, you should be able to log in yourself and print out monthly statements. 

 

And while you guys are amicable, I would try to settle the most urgent matters. I am not sure if you need temporary spousal support  or can do without but perhaps be mindful of not being left with mounting bills. Perhaps agree how to deal with the largest fixed costs such as rental lease, car payments, and especially joint credit card accounts etc. When my ex-husband left, he didn't pay any support and I had $5000 dollar a month in fixed costs (rent, two car payments, health insurance for two kids and myself etc) and zero income. By the time the court made him pay in arrears, five months had passed and I struggled to even purchase my daughters medication. Having said that, eventually the courts will create a fair situation but just protect yourself from any financial liability he could potentially roll over to you and limit your exposure. I know your situation is a different one and can not necessarily be compared.

 

 Once you decided to divorce - I am a firm believer in clear boundaries while never loosing sight of being a decent human being.

Edited by R&OC

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