k1 Never met her child.

[Ontarkie 14,948]

Moderator hat off

 

Please be very careful, on VJ we have seen many threads with similar backgrounds. You already have doubts as you said you will not marry until you meet the boy and her mother. But you are still going to go through the interview and we all know full well that the excitement can cause a loss of good judgement. 

 

When you have this many members agreeing on the same thing it would be best to take a step back and look through the eyes of others. 

If you cannot visit the child and Grandmother at their home. Hire a PI to investigate, the money would be well spent for peace of mind.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

2 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

Moderator hat off

 

Please be very careful, on VJ we have seen many threads with similar backgrounds. You already have doubts as you said you will not marry until you meet the boy and her mother. But you are still going to go through the interview and we all know full well that the excitement can cause a loss of good judgement. 

 

When you have this many members agreeing on the same thing it would be best to take a step back and look through the eyes of others. 

If you cannot visit the child and Grandmother at their home. Hire a PI to investigate, the money would be well spent for peace of mind.

I agree 100%!

[VanDerFran 10]

3 hours ago, Devon&Julius said:

She is fine with her child and family living in this “non so safe area” but she won’t let you go there to see or visit. Hmmm RED FLAG. Please be mindful. What you ignore today will make itself known load and clear tomorrow. I would insist to meet family. This is someone you intend to marry. I would insist that it is necessary. Good luck.

You have a point...

[Jon&Daiz 19]

Before I moved here last year to marry my then fiancé, I’m a cop who stationed almost 6 years in Mindanao area and I’m certain it’s not as bad as your fiancée portray... misamis occidental? It’s not even in the top list of areas to avoid...

Edited May 25, 2018 by Jon&Daiz

[VanDerFran 10]

3 hours ago, debbiedoo said:

Please understand, I do not say this to be rude or mean or disrespectful. I just don't know any other way to say it

 

Do you want to be with a woman who is coming up with excuses for not meeting her family and who seems to not be capable of taking care of her own child and only sees them once a year?

   for example, i dont speak to most of my family, but Paul has met my mom (who i dont have much of a relationship with at all), my brother and sister (several times and im not particularly close to them but they do at least live in the same state), and had phone discussions with my dad. Hes spent fairly extensive time with BOTH my kids - the grown one and the little one (especially him since the grown one doesnt live with me any longer. Thank goodness. HA!). Hes helped them with things, laughed with them, and yes, even gotten mad at them.  As a mother, it is important to see these interactions and see their relationships develop and grow. BEFORE anyone moves or gets married.

 

Its too dangerous for YOU but not for her KID?

    theres plenty of not safe places id go MYSELF and not let my kid go. No way in hell would I let my kid live somewhere that wasn't safe.

 

Please think all of this through with a very clear head, and have a very frank discussion with her (and maybe a 'surprise' trip down there).

    The first time I went to Canada to visit Paul, I had gotten a passport (didnt tell him) and made the trip myself. All without a word to him about any of it. I showed up at his door on a Thursday afternoon. While I had ZERO suspicions of anything, and that wasn't my reason for the surprise ( I was just going for shock value and to 'teach' him never to underestimate me LMAO), it certainly would have shown if he HAD BEEN hiding something from me. like another chick. Even when his friends came by later that evening they all made jokes about it.

 

This just doesnt add up for me, and it seems im not the only one.

Good stuff, let me add the idea that a filipino kid raised in the middle of terrorists is not the same target as a white american with a bald head.   but u have good points. 

[Cyberfx1024 7,980]

24 minutes ago, VanDerFran said:

Good stuff, let me add the idea that a filipino kid raised in the middle of terrorists is not the same target as a white american with a bald head.   but u have good points. 

That is true but this is where you go along with your fiance and listen to her advice in what neighborhoods to avoid  and when. 

My wife's town is New Bataan Compostela Valley which is a area overrun by NPA. There are neighborhoods in her town where I can't go at night due to troublemakers(her words not mine). But other than that and not going cockfighting I am given free rein to go where I want to and i go there. It's funny when i am driving on the motorbike all over the mountains of Compostela Valley because you can tell they don't see white people at all. I get weird looks but that's it, never been accosted at all. 

 

You are acting like some of us haven't been there and done that. Earlier a poster has said he goes to Zamboanga City which is far western Mindanao, I tend to stay anywhere east of Cagayan De Oro. But pretty much it's great going to Mindanao.

[Hank_ 9,174]

8 hours ago, VanDerFran said:

Hello friends, 

 

Let me read what you guys have say about this.

 

My Fiance has a child that lives with her mother far way from Manila, I met my Fiance 3 times, and we travel outside PH, I never met her child or any other member of the family.

 

What implications this may have on a K1 process?

 

Thanks

Van Der

No issue during the petition process at USCIS. 

 

During the interview at USEM do expect the CO to ask the child about YOU .. so you two meeting and knowing each other, even just a little, is important.       

 

I understand your fiancee be protective of you, that is not a bad thing.  I always listen to my wife when in the Phils.    

 

Try to make arrangements to at least meet the child.

Edited May 25, 2018 by Hank_

[VanDerFran 10]

2 hours ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

That is true but this is where you go along with your fiance and listen to her advice in what neighborhoods to avoid  and when. 

My wife's town is New Bataan Compostela Valley which is a area overrun by NPA. There are neighborhoods in her town where I can't go at night due to troublemakers(her words not mine). But other than that and not going cockfighting I am given free rein to go where I want to and i go there. It's funny when i am driving on the motorbike all over the mountains of Compostela Valley because you can tell they don't see white people at all. I get weird looks but that's it, never been accosted at all. 

 

You are acting like some of us haven't been there and done that. Earlier a poster has said he goes to Zamboanga City which is far western Mindanao, I tend to stay anywhere east of Cagayan De Oro. But pretty much it's great going to Mindanao.

As I said before, I am not afraid to go to Marawi, her family is not from there, but close, and anyone one with military background knows that the terrorist are not where police and politics are watching, and the "the safe cities" around are they 'resident'...

 

I will will go there sooner or later, I have been in worse places, but she gets worried that interview gets scheduled before I have the opportunity to go there, and not meeting kid and mom becomes an issue

[VanDerFran 10]

1 hour ago, Hank_ said:

No issue during the petition process at USCIS. 

 

During the interview at USEM do expect the CO to ask the child about YOU .. so you two meeting and knowing each other, even just a little, is important.       

 

I understand your fiancee be protective of you, that is not a bad thing.  I always listen to my wife when in the Phils.    

 

Try to make arrangements to at least meet the child.

Kid (7 yo) and mother-in-law-to-be (XYZ yo) do not speak english, ur answer imply kid being in interview... is that correct and necessary ?

[Hank_ 9,174]

8 minutes ago, VanDerFran said:

Kid (7 yo) and mother-in-law-to-be (XYZ yo) do not speak english, ur answer imply kid being in interview... is that correct and necessary ?

I didn't imply the child would be interviewed .. can't get a visa without attending the interview   and that applies to all.       They have interpreters ..  

 

Just the same, make the effort, even if your fiancee brings them to a different location

[debbiedoo 2,339]

Shakespeare said something was rotten in Denmark. Debbiedoo says something is rotten in the Philippines.

 

None of this sounds right. none of this at all.

 

Please think with the head above your belt.

[VanDerFran 10]

4 hours ago, David & Zoila said:

I would have to agree with this.  The day after I arrived in Cebu my fiance asked if she could take me to meet her family the day after I arrived.  She was so proud and excited that she couldn't wait to introduce me to her family.  Something is not right here.  If I were a betting man I would bet that she also has a husband or live-in partner where her child is now living. Just saying...

Love you all !!! 

[VanDerFran 10]

4 hours ago, Randyandyuni said:

I broached this with my wife who is also Pinay, she suggests meeting in davao city or samal island, convenient for you and fiance and close for her mother. Avoids the dangers of travel, convenient for all parties and you will love Davao City, it is a wonderful place. If all goes well go to the SM and request her Cenomar, 

Yes, plan is Cebu or Bohol.... but not sure if before interview...

[VanDerFran 10]

4 hours ago, David & Zoila said:

I would respectfully disagree with this.  Not going to where her child is will never answer the question of if she has a live-in partner.  My bet is she has a live-in or husband and this is why she hasn't dragged him to the Mindanao.  I took my wife to Mindanao to see her mothers grave.  You just have to be careful.  Cenomar does not prove that she doesn't have a live in partner. 

 

Don't forget this on Samal Island a few years back:

Canadian tourist John Ridsdel beheaded by Philippines Islamist - ABC

www.abc.net.au/news/2016-04-26/philippines-militants-behead...tourist/7356888

 

Apr 25, 2016 - Canadian tourist John Ridsdel beheaded by Philippines Islamist militants ... A Canadian held hostage by Islamist militants in the Philippines has been killed, ... Six weeks after the abduction, Abu Sayyaf gunmen released a video on social ... on Samal island where the men and one woman were kidnapped.

 

Personally I would not go to Samal Island at this point.  You really need to visit her home in person.

I know about Samal, but I see Marawi as bad..

[VanDerFran 10]

1 hour ago, Hank_ said:

I didn't imply the child would be interviewed .. can't get a visa without attending the interview   and that applies to all.       They have interpreters ..  

 

Just the same, make the effort, even if your fiancee brings them to a different location

If she insist on me not to go to her city I will bring them to where she feel safe..