Next step

[leisli 15]

hi OP, given the facts that you've stated, if you are are the consular officer would you approve this case?

you've only met two days and both of you already thought 'this is the one.' it's not impossible, but really, how well do you really know this person?

we all know a person can be really different behind a computer or a mobile device, Is 2 days enough for you to say that you could trust this man?

I know and we understand, that maybe you are very excited to come here in the US. But you have to consider your own welfare coming here, like, what if he beat the heck out of you? or what if he's not the person he is suppose to be? what happens to you?

All we are saying is get to know this person enough before you (also) make a decision. the K1 option is always there, dont rush it.

[N and J 88]

LOL speechless? lol

[JR loves JR 196]

I think we've established that you should have your fiancé visit a few more times before your interview if you really want it to be approved. There's almost no chance of approval at interview unless he visits again (and again, and possibly again). If it's already filed you can slow down the process by delaying the medical when your petition arrives in the Philippines. I think it's something like 3 months (or 6 months) after the USCIS issues the NOA2. And then after approval at the embassy you can delay up to 6 months from your medical to actually enter the US. I'd highly recommend using a lot of that time to really get to know your fiancé.

As for delaying your wedding a month once you get here, I think it's a fine idea. Most people say that the K-1 isn't a get to know you visa but I bet the government would rather a few people fail to marry (and return home) because they didn't like what they were intending to marry than be totally committed and end up divorced and claiming fraud. In fact, I believe that more than a few people would have been saved the heartache if they'd taken a month to live together before marriage rather than rushing into it.

Edited May 20, 2016 by JR loves JR

[N and J 88]

Take everyone's advice that has gone through this. It is not easy. How long have you been with him? How long have you known him before you met? Can you honestly say that you know this person and are willing to wake up every day to him? Can you honestly say you trust this person?

I am just going to be honest...I have to say that in the eyes of a CO it could look like you are just trying to get to the US. a K1 is not an easy process. It adds a lot of stress to a relationship. Once you get here it will add even more stress to a relationship because you will be in a new place....add that to someone who you don't really know and it doesn't seem like it will mix well.

I have to also second what others have said. To me anyone who is shopping or going to talk to other men/women or talking to that many people at one time also sends a red flag. Well it would to me.....Why would someone who is talking to me be talking to a bunch of other people? If a person was coming to meet me I would expect them to come be with me not other people. I would really take time to think about this. If you file so soon and are denied it could make it harder to file again until you have established a concrete relationship in the CO's eyes. Good luck.

[E and R 8]

Ditto to all with the red flags. It will be looked at more closely for the age difference alone. One day with five photos is not much to give the USCIS officer that will be doing the interview for a K-1 visa. You will have the met at least once requirement met. I would take the time to spend more time together, take more photos in different places and wait until you are both sure you right for each other and committed to the other. It's a lot to leave all your belongings, home and family behind to come and live here only to find that you are in a relationship that you wouldn't want to be in. Better to be safe than sorry.

My spouse and I met by a dating app as well and he is here and we are married with no issues. Just waiting for the AOS and EAD now. Best of luck!

[abhi_meli 150]

Put yourself in the CO's shoes and you will get the answer.You wouldn't give visa to a guy,claiming he fell in love with a man,older than his father, during first meeting of a day or two.Your petition might get approve but there is no way you can get through the Interview with 5 pics and chat records and only one meeting.Looks like you are more worried about getting to the USA than your relationship.

[Ortolan 381]

Take the gay/straight aspect out of it and just think about the situation itself.

To me, it would feel really odd to know that my fiance came to my country, met with a few other people, and then a day later, decided I was "the one." Even the people on those Bachelor/Bachelorette tv shows know their 'choice' better, and have spent more time together, than you two have.

It does feel like he was shopping for a partner, and I think that's exactly what the CO is going to think.

Get to know this person first, and decide if you just can't stand to be without him. But take the time. I think you'll be very glad later that you did. Then you can file for the K1. After you're sure, then you won't have to worry that someone has the distinct impression that your relationship is not bonafide.

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

Maybe since he is retired if you are denied he can marry you move to phillipines for the 6 months and you file dfc. Then this way you can get to know each other as well.

Get married in order to get to know each other more...?

I think the whole point is that they don't know each other enough to get married. Even the OP seems to feel this way.

[AstroCanada 206]

To be quite honest, I think even the OP senses the red flags. Apologies if this is more of a life-issues post than a visa post, but...

Think about what it will like to be in the US. You immigrate to Minnesota just in time for winter. Temperatures might be -20. You don't know anyone. The only person you know is someone you've only spent a day with who's 40 some years older than you. You're dependent on him to drive you anywhere. You're dependent on him to buy you food. You're dependent on him to pay for phone calls back home. After you get married and file AOS, you can't even get a job for 90 days. This is a pretty extreme situation to be in unless you're very, very sure.

I just got married to someone I dated for 2 1/2 years and with whom I've lived for about a year now, and even that felt scary and fast. You're young. If you're fiance is really serious to making this marriage work, he'll be willing to slow the process a bit and get to know you. I would seriously suggest spending more time getting to know him.

On the visa side, I can imagine there being a very low chance of this getting approved in an interview.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Get married in order to get to know each other more...?

I think the whole point is that they don't know each other enough to get married. Even the OP seems to feel this way.

I said if the k1 is denied. There is a process they can do which is marry and direct file at the embassy.

I dont know if this is whats best for him or not but I told him an option not that he needed to do what I said. He asked for advice and in my minimal immigration knowledge let him know another route.

This person is an adult and if he so to chooses to join his life to someone it will be a free country he is moving to and he may do so

[Rc123rc 528]

If this was a job application and I had to make a decision to hire someone, I'd have tossed this application into the Do Not Hire pile. Everyone has already said valid reasons for not going forward and taking your time. Listen to them, please. There are all kinds of warning signs that this is a disaster waiting to happen unless a bunch of things change before filing or immigration. My advice? A minimum of 1 year with 2-3 visits of a few weeks each before even considering filing for a K-1. I have to say I was shaking my head through the whole original message and repeating under my breath, "no, no, no, no, this is not good"

[Dutchster 1,106]

If this was a job application and I had to make a decision to hire someone, I'd have tossed this application into the Do Not Hire pile. Everyone has already said valid reasons for not going forward and taking your time. Listen to them, please. There are all kinds of warning signs that this is a disaster waiting to happen unless a bunch of things change before filing or immigration. My advice? A minimum of 1 year with 2-3 visits of a few weeks each before even considering filing for a K-1. I have to say I was shaking my head through the whole original message and repeating under my breath, "no, no, no, no, this is not good"

You said what I thought. I think everyone made their concerns and advices really clear to OP, so I agree to this. OP, think this over twice, maybe three times.

[Lozalex 2]

Is this real life? Sigh....

OP, you should get to know this man before applying for a K1 visa (which will inevitably get denied). He should also get you know you a little better, after all he might decide he didnt choose the right BOY for him and change his mind.

This is ridiculous. I'm sorry to sound so harsh,but it's applications like this that make it harder for other people to get approved. People who actually have a bonafide relationship and already know they want to spend the rest of their lives with the other person. Not to find out if they 'really love each other'.

OP, please use your common sense with this process.

[Kim&Gary 15]

Hi, This is Gary. Kim asked me to post a response because he felt some of his comments were being misunderstood. I will admit that there are some parts of our story that sound a little off beat. I hope by giving some of my background and some more details we can assure people of the legitimacy of our relationship.

First, I was quality assurance engineer, an occupation not noted for its people skills. When I retired I approached finding a life partner the same as solving an engineering problem. That is not the way most people would do it so I can understand if some people find what I did a little cold. After spending a career being married to my job I went out to the Gay Cupid site with the intent to find a partner to spend the rest of my life with. I was overwhelmed with the number of responses I received so I started narrowing the number down. I spent months in text and cam chats talking to potential mates, but I realized that I needed to meet face-to-face in order to gauge a person and how their personality matches with mine. When I got down to a couple of people that showed strong possibilities I scheduled a trip to the Philippines to meet them in person. When I met Kim in Manila we had been chatting almost daily for 3 months.

I knew Kim was special from the very beginning because we shared so much in common. When we met in person I was fairly sure he was the one, but I had to fair and meet the others to be sure. I always stressed that this was a mutual decision not me picking someone, They had an equal opportunity to judge how they felt about me. At the end of my visit I talked with Kim and his feelings were just as strong as mine that we were meant for each other. After I got back to the US we have been in almost daily conversation, often four or more hours. I have met his family through Skype and Facebook and he has started the same with mine. Since I come from a much larger family he hasn't met everyone yet. His mother shared some of the same concerns expressed here but is feeling much more comfortable after cam chatting with me on Skype. Likewise, some of my family were concerned about Kim taking advantage of me. They too have come to see that we really are in love with each other.

I will be honest, we have had our differences. One of the tests of a true relationship is what happens when there is a strong disagreement. We have always been able to resolve our differences. There have been hurt feelings and tears, but in the end we have always come together stronger than before. Are we rushing things, maybe, but our feeling is why waste time that we could be spending together. I have done everything possible to prepare Kim for life in Minnesota, from videos of falling snow and daily weather reports on the cold to buying him warm winter clothing so he will be ready to face winter. We are already putting together a list of places to go and things to do when he gets here. One of those things is signing him up for college so he can complete the degree he started in the Philippines.

I want to say I appreciate the comments that have been made already. Because Kim has never flown before he had wanted me to fly over and fly back with him when his K1 was approved. But now we see the importance of me going over there sooner than that to strengthen our case. Rest assured, Kim will go into his interview with more than five pictures and a two day visit as proof of our relationship. Any other advice for Kim, me, or the two of us would be welcome.

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

I said if the k1 is denied. There is a process they can do which is marry and direct file at the embassy.

I dont know if this is whats best for him or not but I told him an option not that he needed to do what I said. He asked for advice and in my minimal immigration knowledge let him know another route.

This person is an adult and if he so to chooses to join his life to someone it will be a free country he is moving to and he may do so

Well I mean it's not even a legitimate route as far as I know due to the Philippians not recognizing same sex marriage.

Not sure if they have other visa options (employment, etc) to move there but I can't imagine any would be easier than just getting to know each other on a few more visits..