Divorce/ Annulment with nightmare Immigrant just for Green Card

[415ITGUY 0]

So it went like this...

She is from Brazil. I am an American from California.

Long time friend of the family. 10 years older then I.

Came here to visit on vacation, we went to vegas.

She went home, a few weeks later she tells me she's pregnant with my child.

So i take responsibility and tell her to come with the child, we will be a family. She says she wants her child to have a father, so she comes.

This takes place in 2012, she comes over from Brazil, enters on her Italian passport and over stays. We spend the remainder of the pregnancy together here

and have our son in California. I buy a home for us to start our family. I work full time, she stayed home to nurture our child. We marry at the court house in February of 2013. We begin the immigration process and our paper work was lost, its taken 3 years now and the ball has been rolling fast after we got on USCIS's case, we just got her adjustment of status.

Howeverrrr…….She never told me she was bipolar, during the first 3 years of my sons life i was unable to be around him during feedings, sleeping with him. she hoarded my son. she was off meds (which i didn't know) and turned into a complete psycho path. i was afraid of her and she's was physically pushy and punched me in the face when i did attempt to sleep with my son, she was very protective, however i did not call the police and have it documented. It was a disaster. I fell quickly out of any love and severely depressed. she did not cook once for us, prepared all his meals and was antisocial with any friends, she was constantly complaining about the home, the food, etc. ever since she arrives she was always looking back.

I got her on her meds and she's done nothing but form a large dent in my couch and kept gaining weight. she would not even take care of herself and make herself lunch, she only eats junk food; she'd eat ice cream and bags of funions at night. (comfort food I knows she's very depressed) She is very bossy and demanding, can't do anything by herself. She also has cleanliness phobias that are very over the top, which affects both myself and my sons lives here at home.

I've been tired of her threats of leaving with my child back home because she "does not need anything from me, she wants her green card and 'we' will leave you alone' she is now telling my son "they are going home". I created a perfect home for him here with amazing accredited schools in my area.

what hurts me the most is he wants to be a baseball player when he grows up. (he's only 3) they do not have baseball in Brazil...

I've thought about this dearly, and i feel she's only thinking about herself and not our sons future here in America. Im very scared, but i want a divorce, I'd really prefer an annulment because she's keeps telling me she can only stay if i buy her her own place or pay for her rent and food and utilities. She's under this impression i owe everything to her. we cannot agree on anything common ground wise on our sons upbringing.

I don't know what to do and am scared of the out come. I now just want the best for my child. If she stays here, i know she's encapable of taking care of herself , her life will be hell which in-turn will make his, and I'm sure mine, she's pretty psycho. But I'm over that and want my son in my life and near me, i couldn't leave him to go back home with her to live in a boxed up apartment with her. She makes me feel as if i have a teenage daughter at times and she's 40. i feel like she's fraudulently try to trick me for a green card which now i feel she does not deserve she hates my country, our food, our culture and she reminds me of that constantly….i know she talks a big talk. but when the time comes she's a lot of bluff as well.

Can anyone relate or have a similar experience or predicament?

If i divorce what will happen to her immigration status? will she be forced to stay here, will she have an option to go (she WILL NOT leave without her son...

will i be responsible for her? Can i cancel our immigration work?

Any direction or advice would be greatly appreciated...

Thank you.

God Bless.

Edited February 20, 2016 by 415ITGUY

[Anh map 2,098]

Can you post again with just the relevant immigration information? Where is she in the immigration process?

[dwheels76 5,468]

1. Where are you in the process?

Does she have her 2 year green card?

Does your son have a passport yet?

As far as child custody you need to see a lawyer about that

[Georgia16 2,858]

You talk about her wanting to take you son away and bla bla BUT you do the exact same when you say "will she be forced to stay here, will she have an option to go"

You don't divorce and move on and wish for your son that he will have both parents around him in the future.

[Mick & Janni 11]

There's a lot of very unnecessary information in your post and very little else, I suggest you edit it if possible and only add information needed for others here to be able to answer some of your questions.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

You said she was a family friend. Have you talked to any family about these issues? Has she been to a doctor lately? Have you tried therapy?

You can hire a lawyer to file for divorce and custody of your son.

[R2B 2]

She is not able to take child out of country without your consent. FBI could order the airplane fly back even if she is already on plane with your son.

Your child will not get a passport without your consent. So do not worry about it.

What you are facing is trying to get a better solution of divorce if reconciliation is not possible.

Find a place nearby for her, pay her rent and food as well as for your child, have child stay with you for weekends.

That might be the best solution if she agrees. Otherwise she could make your days much more worse if she take some advice about how to screw you up.

[Mr. & Mrs. Darcy 4]

As a Brazilian mother, I can assure you that she will not be able to leave the country to go to Brazil without a Brazilian passport for your son, or a visa in the American passport. The Brazilian consulate only issues a Brazilian passport to a minor with BOTH parents authorization. Your authorization (American parent) has to be stamped by a notary. Even tough, in order for her to travel alone with him, the passport needs to have a note saying that "the minor can travel with only one parent".

All the companies ask for a visa to Brazil in the American passport OR a Brazilian passport on all the flights that have Brazil as destination, and she needs your written authorization to have a visa issued for your son too on the American passport (if your son has one).

Edited February 20, 2016 by She_him

[415ITGUY 0]

Adjustment of status. Just sent in our Biometrics, awaiting our interview...I-495 adjustment of status. I-797c just sent her biometrics..

Is it better I let her finish the process and just get her temporary 2 year visa?

Hehe I appreciate it TransLady, but the funny stuffs over. It's a pretty serious matter dear. However Thank you for the chuckle hunny

[415ITGUY 0]

Thank you I was a hoping she could not just flee, it's good to know. But the hardest part is I know she needs to go home it's the best thing for her I don't want her to be like this. This is so hard although I don't know how he could grow up in both continents. I know people do it state to state, but I think it's going to have to be one land or another for him :/ mothers are important to a son. I also feel a father is as important

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Thank you I was a hoping she could not just flee, it's good to know. But the hardest part is I know she needs to go home it's the best thing for her I don't want her to be like this. This is so hard although I don't know how he could grow up in both continents. I know people do it state to state, but I think it's going to have to be one land or another for him :/ mothers are important to a son. I also feel a father is as important

Both parents are equally important. Perhaps the two of you could try counselling. She needs a bonifide marriage to get her green card.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Have you tried getting her help?

[EM_Vandaveer 2,408]

Annulment is not an option for a 3-year marriage with a child in common.

Sure you can divorce. You could withdraw your I-864 which would kill the GC process, but that would be quite an underhanded move.

By the way, you married her in 2013, right? If the GC process runs its course she'll receive a 10-year GC. At that point her immigration status will not depend on your marriage anymore. Once she has a 10-year GC it's hers to keep, even if you two divorce.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Annulment is not an option for a 3-year marriage with a child in common.

Sure you can divorce. You could withdraw your I-864 which would kill the GC process, but that would be quite an underhanded move.

By the way, you married her in 2013, right? If the GC process runs its course she'll receive a 10-year GC. At that point her immigration status will not depend on your marriage anymore. Once she has a 10-year GC it's hers to keep, even if you two divorce.

Why do this though? They have a son together and she is sick and needs help. Why not just divorce her (if he can't help her) and let the son have both parents? According to another poster from Brazil, she can't take the son with her to Brazil without the husband's approval so she can't make a run for it with the son.

[415ITGUY 0]

Thank you very much this was very informative

Annulment is not an option for a 3-year marriage with a child in common.

Sure you can divorce. You could withdraw your I-864 which would kill the GC process, but that would be quite an underhanded move.

By the way, you married her in 2013, right? If the GC process runs its course she'll receive a 10-year GC. At that point her immigration status will not depend on your marriage anymore. Once she has a 10-year GC it's hers to keep, even if you two divorce.