exuasted, girlfriend married to get greencard help!

[j&ana 363]

So here's my story: For about a year and a half I've been dating this girl. We had been very happy together for the most part. But had found out she was married a few months into the relationship. By that time I already had feelings. And decided to stay. Probably against good judgment.She arrived here in the states about two years ago. She met her husband on the internet, she came into the states on a temporary visa, and shortly after married. She soon then had buyers remorse as did her husband that automatically regretted the marriage. And six months later I met her. A lot has happend since all this went on. And was under the impression that he was aware of me (dating this woman) from previous conversations. So I contacted him via social media telling him if I could "help" in any way since their divorce was a mutual decision. Turns out he didn't know about me (which I find hard to believe) and asked her about it. That day she went from saying she loved me, to she didn't want to be together anymore and had no feelings. Apparently he no longer wishes to help her and she seems to have bitter anger towards me. In many aspects I feel she just cares about the GC and nothing else. Please I need help. What do I do?

she cares about her feelings. You went and spoke to her husband without speaking to her first, maybe she was trying to find a way to leave him for you. You have a lot to learn. I do not know why every one thinks when they are married to, or are in love with someone from another county something happen and it is fraud. Do you not think if the girl was from the USA she would of acted the same way. of course she would of

[S_R 148]

"And decided to stay. Probably against good judgment"...you answered your own question. Once you realized she was married you should have walked away period.

[99balloons 12]

The lady sounds like she is confused "That day she went from saying she loved me, to she didn't want to be together anymore and had no feelings.." If I were you, I'd run (not walk) away. "But had found out she was married a few months into the relationship.'. (Why did you have to find out, why did she not tell you). Answer this question and if you find your next steps. Best of luck to you.

[Jawaree 717]

Dude what did U want help with?

Because its an immigration site ppl react with immigration answers.

You may just want to marry her but don't know it yet, you want help

from the site. so bro U fallen in something ...Love maybe?? why contact

her husband.

O think this woman only love herself right now so only U can decide

Good luck

[I love San Diego 18]

do you have any legal ties to her? Have you filed immigration paperwork, or anything of any kind on her behalf?

If not, then tell her you do not with to speak to her again, and do not speak to her again. She is a dishonest woman. I can confidently advise you that you should avoid any kind of relationship with her. I have some life experience with dishonest women so you can take my word for it. There are plenty of trustworthy women out there for you. Don't waste your time with this one.

[UH60Chief 6]

I think everyone pretty much covered all the bases but possibly one more person chiming in can cause some reality/common sense to sink in...........

1. She started dating you under false pretenses. One would assume that if a woman starts dating a man that she is single. Once you found out she was married, did it not raise a red flag that this wasn't disclosed right off the bat? There could be a lot of factors in this. For instance, maybe she had no intentions of dating you and "love" just sort of happened and then she felt the need to tell you. It happens. Heck, it happened to me. I was dating a girl here in Europe and things started to get serious. After nearly a year of dating, she tells me that she is still married to an American that moved to the states. Guess what I did, I ran and said "why the heck didn't you tell me that in the beginning and why are you not trying to get a divorce". Turns out, she had a criminal record the size of a dictionary and she was permanently banned from the states (husband couldn't take her), fooled me for almost a year... but I digress....

2. Her husband apparently had no idea that she was seeing someone else. Once again, if she really was no longer participating in this marriage and had been seeing you for over a year, don't you think her husband would have some sort of idea? I think there are a lot of facts to this story that are not out in the open. Do they live together or are they separated? This whole story just makes no sense.

3. Why would you take it upon yourself to contact her husband? If it was to the point that you felt the need to go around her to find out things from her husband, then why even speak to this woman? If you had no plans of getting married to her then why would her divorce concern you so much? Here is my thoughts on why she no longer "loves" you..... She had guaranteed passage into the states already in place which was ruined by contacting her husband. Not sure if she is angry at you for being slightly weird and contacting her husband without her knowing, or she is mad that you put a kink in her "marriage". Either way, it's shady business for you to be a part of.

I really am not sure what you want to hear....... Common sense says run away and forget about her. She told you that she has no feelings and wants to end the relationship so what more is there to talk about? If she doesn't want to be with you, how is dating advice from random strangers on the internet going to help? I am also not sure how this falls into the realms of immigration if you have no legal ties to her.

Just by going what you have told us, it seems this woman is a deceitful, conniving snake that is just playing her cards to get what she wants. Not sure if you have really put thought into this----> she was only married for 6 months and they had a "mutual decision" the marriage wasn't working (and I assume this is coming from her so the chances of that being factual seem slim). If you have been dating her for 1.5 years, her green card is probably about to expire. Now that the husband knows you all have been seeing each other, he could absolutely claim this marriage was fraudulant on her part and that she just used him to get to the states. That is just a hypothesis, but if it did come to that, you would not have to worry about making a decision on whether to keep trying to be with her.

[Hollyday 122]

do you have any legal ties to her? Have you filed immigration paperwork, or anything of any kind on her behalf?

How could he have? He's not connected to her legally, on which grounds would HE be filing immigration paperwork for her? Only her husband can do this (if we're talking K-1 / CR-1 visas initially).

I agree with the posters saying they don't see how the OP is tangled (and unsure even what the initial question was about). You're not married to her and have no legal obligations, just move on now.

Edited December 9, 2014 by Hollyday

[Ning 619]

If it makes it any better she had her passport on hold and received it already so I'm under the impression that the items to received the green card have been already filed. So I guess what I'm asking is from all this should I even be involved or trust the situation?

You are already involved and trust is out of the question because you have been lied to about a serious situation.

[Dordor 10]

My thoughts exactly.

my question is, why are you on an immigration website asking dating advice?

[Papetica09 16]

Just trust your judgement. I have no idea why you went and contacted the husband, though.

I agree! Exactly with what were you hoping to help with?? ....

[mymarley 14]

warning:

you are entering a complicated situation...life is too short... find a better one that meant for you....

[VOL 425]

my question is, why are you on an immigration website asking dating advice?

BINGO...........

[chvsky 1]

Too many red flags too much drama. Run and never look back.

[shippingforecast 126]

You dodged a bullet. Count yourself lucky and move on.

[Pavel3002 13]

Proverbs 2:16-22