Fiance's new friend

[Avery Cates 1,141]

I ended it. I hope I can stay strong. Deleted the apps on my phone er use to message with. Deleted skype from my phone. No longer going on skype on my computer. All his emails go to my trash. And blocked his cell number. I really thought I would make this post and people would be on his side. Like I was the problem.

You know I'm glad to hear it. Too often in things like this you see someone continuing on when they really shouldn't. It's good you had the strength to do what you needed to do.

You weren't the problem here at all. I would however recommend spending some time and working on yourself to bring yourself into a better place. Discover what you really want and what will make you happy with yourself.

[sweet cakes 326]

I ended it. I hope I can stay strong. Deleted the apps on my phone er use to message with. Deleted skype from my phone. No longer going on skype on my computer. All his emails go to my trash. And blocked his cell number. I really thought I would make this post and people would be on his side. Like I was the problem.

Great to know that you have gathered the strength to do it. The next days will be really the toughest as you heal. There is still a possibility that he will contact you and woo you with sweet words and turn into a good, kind and caring man all of a sudden. Don't ever fall for that please.

Be stronger for yourself and your child. There is somebody out there who deserves you and will bring the best in you. All will fall into their right place at the right time. In the mean time, meet new friends and attach yourself with happy people.

Also, when you're finally ready, you have to contact uscis and cancel your pending I-129f petition.

All the best!

Edited April 29, 2014 by sweet cakes

[Me_Theo 25]

Ask yourself ,why do you want marry with a man, he is already depressed. If he arrive in U.S will be more depressed. ...he is needy man and also he did not grow up enough, quit schoo l!!!! may be he never was in school, he needs a doctor always be with him. Forget him don't waste your time. You are in love now and you think he is in love with you. Don't make a big mistake. Try to find a true man. He is not good for marry at least for 4-5 years or may be more. If I was you, I will forget him soon, I don't have time to waste for depressed young man from india still his father is fallow him to be care him.

already you are in scam. Let I tell you the future, after he arrive to U. S he will continue his childish behavior. if you marry with him. he will ask you bring all my family here. if you say no he will leave you to find an indian woman some where the indian lives in U.S. His father wise enough to find another woman for him to fix him in U.S.A. Now, you tell us, do you like this future with him ? If yes, then continue relationship with him.

Cancel every thing you did for him to bring him in U.S

Of course he will cry to you. to tell you I love you and ..... but just be awake that is part of his plan.

Good Luck

Edited April 29, 2014 by Me_Theo

[Nikita2Charles 31]

You should give yourself a pat in the back for making this decision, you are 28 and he's 21. I don't beleive he's mature enough for you even though some men can be at that age, Even if you were in India it would be an uphill battle to get the family to accept you because you already have a 4 year old child. He would have to be really strong minded, and even go against his parent wishes to let them know this is the woman He loves and no matter what they do, or what they say you are going to be his lifepartner. The fact they were using he's being depressed, suicidal is basically emotional blackmail, I hope you weren't sending him and his family money on a regular basis, being the cash cow white girl.

Be happy knowing you almost dodge the bullet in this relationship, moving to another country is not easy, he's not going to be able to work right away when he gets here with the K1, waiting for his adjustment of status and so on, therefore things can only get worse, and the fact that his parents are already manipulating him, and basically don't want him to leave India, would prefer him to be with a local girl, the doctor thing is just a scam, I don't know of any conferences in India that would start that late past 8pm. also over there once someone is in medical school they start calling them doctor even thought they haven't graduated yet, so it might be just another med student. Why would he leave school, if that's not his interest he could go on and study something else,

Take care of yourself and your son knowing you made the right decision, don't second guess yourself, I think when you post this message you already knew what was going on, but the love you have for him was like a cloud over your eyes, and now you are able to see clearer what's happening, it's nothing new, it was already there, i just now you are able to see the light.

Edited April 29, 2014 by Nikita2Charles

[Caryh 5,206]

congrats for having the guts to do, what you know is right. That child still needs his mommy and daddy. Next time I hope you find a man. Get your head in the right place first, so you're not falling for the wrong ones again though.

[jcruzazucar 131]

I ended it. I hope I can stay strong. Deleted the apps on my phone er use to message with. Deleted skype from my phone. No longer going on skype on my computer. All his emails go to my trash. And blocked his cell number. I really thought I would make this post and people would be on his side. Like I was the problem.

I think that we are all glad to hear that you made the right decision for you and your baby. However, just remember that you need to withdraw the K1 in process now. Don't just leave it in limbo....it's something you need to take care of right away.

Best of luck with your future. God bless.

[CanGirl 95]

I ended it. I hope I can stay strong. Deleted the apps on my phone er use to message with. Deleted skype from my phone. No longer going on skype on my computer. All his emails go to my trash. And blocked his cell number. I really thought I would make this post and people would be on his side. Like I was the problem.

You are not the problem in this situation. He is and always will be. I'm glad you got yourself out of it. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself and your child when it is breaking your heart to do it. Stay strong and you will get through this one day at a time. I know that you will find someone who will put you and your child first in his life always. Good luck in the future and don't give in to temptations to check up on him or anything like that. It will get easier.

Remember to withdraw your K1 application as well before he uses it to come to this country without your knowledge or worse.

[Virtuous45 31]

Tried talking to him. And he said he will not hear all this nonsense and hung up on me.

I think, above all the red flags that are being waved in your face, the one above is the biggest and loudest one. It is bad enough that his parents are aiding and abetting your fiance to go out with another woman, but to have your fiance disrespect you when you try to talk to him about the matter, is a no-no. You still have the handle in this relationship because you are petitioning this man to come to the US to marry you and then (who knows) arrange to have his doctor lady follow him.

Read between the lines in all that is going on. If talking to him on the phone is not helping, try composing an email (emails provide you with the time to think and rethink your thoughts) and send it to him. Let him know how much it is hurting you, and that you. TALK TOUGH to him, and let him know that if he loves you, he would respect you and protect the relationship that you have together. There are many fishes in the sea, sometimes you just have to cast your net/bait more often than you would like, just so you can catch the "fish" that is best suitable to you.

Sleep on the matter, and decide what your next move is going to be. At the end of the day, you have to live with the decision you make.

Good luck.

[derrickmichille 55]

I ended it. I hope I can stay strong. Deleted the apps on my phone er use to message with. Deleted skype from my phone. No longer going on skype on my computer. All his emails go to my trash. And blocked his cell number. I really thought I would make this post and people would be on his side. Like I was the problem.

I was reading your previuos post and I was just so sad to read your situation. I am so happy you eneded the relationship. As a single father of a three year old, who I have been raising by my self since he was 3 months old, I was very very and I repeat very careful with, the woman I choosed to be my wife and mother to my son. My son is very important to me and I was not going to just let any woman come into our lives. So I researshed and studied and took my time to find the right woman. I started this online dating way back in 2010 and it took me three years to find the right person. I went through simalar situations like you, all the scammers and the fake people, and I am glad I went through that experiance , because it taught me what to look for and what the signs are of a scammer.

online dating takes commiment, patience, courage, trust and lots and lots of reasurrance. When I found my fiance, I put her through soooo much. I asked lots of questions, and put her through many diffrent tests. At first it was difficult and fustrating for her, she told me, but in the end she understood why I did it, and it made her also relaized that I was serious. She understood my son(now our son ) was and is very important to me.

so in short, the next man you look for someone to become your life pa, make sure to take your time and learn about his family, his friends if he has any, also talk about everything. My fiance and I talk about everything, and I mean everything. I dont have any friends and neither does she, it works for us, we are each other best friend.and loves to spend all day skyping and messaging each other, to make each other feel we are apart of our every day lives. its not easy, but it will all be worth it in the end. When my son called her mommie and said he loves her, that was when I knew she was the one.

good luck to you, hold your head up high and know you did the right thing. Your child and you deserve better, someone who will put you and your child first.

say this to your self as many times as you need to This too shall past!! trust me it got me through the most difficult of times.

[derrickmichille 55]

sorry for my spelling, my spell check is not working!! lol!!! Life partner, experience, reassurance I think that covers it.!!!!

[DirtyHarry 5]

I have not gone through all 6 pages of comments here. But I am from India and a male. So I can give you some perspective. Indian men are immature at 21. They are pampered and have no decision making ability and poor life skills. I am 40 now. I know what i was like when I was 21. I think I was a baby even when I was 30. I did not know what love was, what a relationship meant and what the responsibilities were. My parents shielded me from everything because they wanted me to focus on academics only. In your case, your boyfriend is not in to academics either.

So be careful. I really say this to you with your best intentions in mind. I know you are in love and emotionally involved so this is hard for you to listen to. My apologies in advance.

Well, I read the last post that you ended the relationship. You did the right thing. Short term pain results in long term happiness . Short term happiness results in long term pain.

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

I ended it. I hope I can stay strong. Deleted the apps on my phone er use to message with. Deleted skype from my phone. No longer going on skype on my computer. All his emails go to my trash. And blocked his cell number. I really thought I would make this post and people would be on his side. Like I was the problem.

Amazing!!! You are a strong person for seeing this situation for what it was..l.not healthy for you or your son!!!

Focus on your son, yourself and dont compromise and the right person will eventually come along. GL

[Ortolan 381]

Even though you feel he does love you, love yourself and your little child FIRST.

Do you really want to be married to such a whiny, wishy-washy man? It does sound as though this poor fellow has a lot of growing up to do, and in this situation I think you would be getting into a situation that could be quite stressful and upsetting for years to come.

Think really hard about whether you want to marry someone like this. You're still very young, and there are a lot of people out there for you to meet if you decide this relationship isn't for you. And if you decide it isn't, nobody, and I mean NOBODY would blame you for it, given what's happened.

So think real hard before you go any further with this, please....

Woops....just read that you've 'ended it.' Bravo to you for being a brave woman! I think you did the exact right thing. Good for you for being strong!

Edited April 29, 2014 by SuzAug

[phd1974 17]

Too bad this didn't happen earlier ... could have saved yourself a cool $340.

[Mina90 134]

Before I married my wonderful husband, I was in a relationship with a 21 year old Indian boy- and yes, at age 21 he was definitely a BOY and not a man. As another poster mentioned, in Indian culture, boys at that age are so pampered by their parents, they have no sense of responsibility, maturity and have no sense of love or what a relationship means. I don't mean to generalize but I have been in similar shoes as you and I speak from experience. I am glad you have broken it off, I had done the same. I was in a lot of pain for a while but I learned to move on and forget, you will move on too. Do not blame yourself, it is not you at fault. Moving on may be difficult, but it is not impossible. Stay strong and remember, you are not alone.