What do you think?

[AKSinghSingh79 143]

You should read the posts by jensi, I believe it was? If anyone can help remember...

I remember her she went by SamJensi but goes by Samantha78 now.

[christeen 966]

The important thing is that you do not have doubts... Friends can sometimes illuminate things we might be too blinded to see (or choose to ignore) but they should not be the ONLY thing that you consider (as there will always be doubters or haters among friends/family) but the most telling is that YOU have a few questions or doubts in YOUR mind... You need to give it more time and go for another visit... I think you need to listen to your gut and slow it down... Slowing down does NOT mean you break up or end the relationship... Just take some extra time to savor the "dating" part of a relationship as marriage changes things... Enjoy the excitement and passion of these moments and getting to know each other without jumping in head first... That would be my 2 cents... True love will last through time and distance...

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Been communicating since march of this year. I sent him money in small amounts maybe 3 times. He works. I have met his family, and while i was there we went all over his town, he never hid me so to speak, and always introduced me as his girlfriend. I have seen where he lives and works. I have spoken to his siblings, his mom, his dad. All have told me that he is deeply in love with me. He has only met my kids by skype.

My heart is that i love him. I want a future with him. However my friends are concerned, and have doubts and that makes me think about things, and of course my kids are my first priority, so i will always protect them

I don't know how acceptable in his cultures by you sending him money. My fiance wanted to send me some money and I refused it - I am a woman, working, and the beneficiary as well-. Did he asked money from you? I don't think he should received money from you for any kind of reasons even just small amounts. He's a man for God Sake!

For me, just for me, when a man receives money from a woman when they just in short relationship I'm seeing might be a trouble in the future. Please, listen to your heart and it leads you to find your own way. Good luck!

[saphina 7]

First of I wanna say that I do believe in love at first sight and therefore the fact that it's been less than a year that y'all have been together I don't think is an issue.

That said....I think it's great your friends we're open and honest with you. And even though they don't know him, they do know you and if that is the vibe they're getting, I'd be taking that very serious. The fact that you are contemplating about stopping the process and posted in this forum tells me you are having your doubts as well. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get to know each other better before moving forward. Spend some more time together and be confident in your relationship. He is not coming to the US for a trial run of a relationship, he will be coming to marry you. Maybe you could consider applying for a tourist visa first and he could actually come and meet your kids and friends first?

And lastly...I'm sorry but to me it's a major red flag that you have already send him money three times this year. I mean how was he getting by before? That to me is a big no no....

Did you also pay for all the processing fees of the K1?

Edited December 1, 2013 by saphina

[Calicolom 265]

As a man speaking, I raised a stepdaughter from the age of 3, it was a thankless job. Daddy the drug addict was always Daddy, and I was the provider. It takes a special person to raise another mans children. Women should know the man she brings into her childrens life 100% put your feelings aside, and think very carefully about the men you bring into your and your childrens life. He is from another country and another culture, where women do not rate as high as men. I know this.

[MRS.MONTILLA 4]

1 week is a short time. U know how one is over the net and how they are on ur trips is completely different from living with. One another. No matter how u look at it if u were with him 5 years or a few months and visted 3 days or every two months. U and no one knows what the future holds especially when petitioning for someone. In love there are no guarantees. Its a gambel. Only u know what u feel n how he is with u. If u ha e red fags acknowledge them now. Just make sure u are feeling 100% about this.

[jgoodman 8]

Hi Janet, Seems like you already know the answer as was said before. If you are afraid that if you ask your fiancé to postpone the marriage until you know each a little better he will end the relationship, then it wasn't meant to be. Spend more time together if at al possible. The DR is really not that far from the US and flights are not that expensive. If a tourist visa from there is possible then have him come stay with you and meet your children. If it is meant to be it will work out.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

He is from dominican republic.

Been communicating since march of this year. I sent him money in small amounts maybe 3 times.

[mari09 0]

The fact that he is from the Dominican Republic does not mean that he is going to be a bad husband or that is it a scam. every type of relationship has it risks and you decided to take the risk with him. But on the other hand I know the economic situation in my country and he might be a player so you will never know until he gets here. I am petitioning for my husband we are both dominicans and I was the one who told him that I wanted to do this. He never told me or rush me into doing anything. was he the one to tell you to do this after a week of knowing each other or was it your decision?

[janet&adonis 57]

It was my decision. I paid for the first part of the petition. He is paying for the rings, and costs for medical and his passport. I will pay for the visa fees. We are sharing the costs

[fantonledzepp 159]

Heed your friends' advice.

One week is not long enough, slow it down and make a few more trips. You're in the "honeymoon" phase, that will pass. Spend enough time to clash personalities, and see how you resolve an argument. Arguing over Skype is not the same.

[AmyWrites 593]

One week isn't enough. Honestly, I can't believe the US government allows and approves petitions for people who've spent so little time together, but alas, how's it different from meeting a random guy and getting married in Vegas? I was lucky... I lived in Russia, so I lived with my husband before marriage and immigration stuff, but had I not lived in Russia, I would've waited a lot longer to get married and stuff, because you simply don't know a person well until you've lived with them and seen them at their best and worst (a week is merely a honeymoon, almost).

I don't know if you've dated internationally before, but it's HARD. If he's not from a fellow Anglo-Saxon culture, you WILL have culture shock. There will be fights that were actually miscommunication, misunderstandings, expectations will have to be adjusted, compromises have to be made, etc. It's like any other relationship, except this guy, being from another culture, might have some different views on family, work, etc, that might be a big deal.

I'd be careful. Not to mention lonely, older American women are wonderful targets for scams.

[janet&adonis 57]

Heed your friends' advice.

One week is not long enough, slow it down and make a few more trips. You're in the "honeymoon" phase, that will pass. Spend enough time to clash personalities, and see how you resolve an argument. Arguing over Skype is not the same.

We dont argue. We dont fight.

[divikaki 8]

We dont argue. We dont fight.

Personally, "we don't fight, we don't argue" says nothing to me. Except perhaps that maybe the couple doesn't know each other well enough to have conflicted.

No two people feel the same way about every single issue. Even the strongest and happiest couples are bound to butt heads. Money? Politics? Not putting the toilet seat down?

Knowing how your partner acts and reacts during an argument is important. Do they fight fairly? Do they call names or blame? There's no way that in a marriage you will never argue.

I'd suggest taking your time. If the love is real, it will only grow over that time.

[Cj and Ruber 1]

So some of my very good friends confronted me tonight. The say they want the best for me and they love me. But that they dont have good vibes about my relationship. They say that im rushing into it. They dont know my fiance, they have never met him. They say how could i really know him, after only spending a week with him? They tell me to really think about this relationship. All i want is to be happy. I believe that my fiance is really in love with me, and he would never hurt me. I love him too. However i have not spent enough time with him to know if he will be abusive or not, how he will treat my children, and how he will act here in the united states.

Do you think my friends are over reacting? Or do they have a point? Should i slow down and cancel the k-1?

That i have seen on here most of the relationships have gone on for years before filing. Maybe i should give it more time?

As a mother myself, I think you should take your time to get to know him. If you are asking this question that because you are doubting your decision to file for him so soon in the relationship. Yes you may love him but please get to know him first, find out if his intentions are truly genuine. If he truly loves you, he will appreciate and understand the decision because marriage is a lifetime commitment and children should be taken into consideration when walking into it. I am not telling you that he doesn't love you, but please get to know him for the sake of your children.

Us women are overly emotional and sometimes we make irrational decisions due to our emotions, but sometimes it's good to sit down take a deep breath, put the emotions to the side and truly think.

Edited December 1, 2013 by Cj and Ivan