What do you think?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I think you have wise friends.

In my opinion, one week is not enough time to know a person well enough to marry them. The Dominican Republic is not that far from Texas. Is there a way you can plan a few more trips to spend some time with him?

Has he introduced you to his family? Friends? If so, does he seem honored and proud to introduce you as his future wife?

Think of it this way. If you met an American guy online and he lived in another state, would you be willing to marry him after spending one week together?

For the life of me I never understand why.

So some of my very good friends confronted me tonight. The say they want the best for me and they love me. But that they dont have good vibes about my relationship. They say that im rushing into it. They dont know my fiance, they have never met him. They say how could i really know him, after only spending a week with him? They tell me to really think about this relationship. All i want is to be happy. I believe that my fiance is really in love with me, and he would never hurt me. I love him too. However i have not spent enough time with him to know if he will be abusive or not, how he will treat my children, and how he will act here in the united states.

Do you think my friends are over reacting? Or do they have a point? Should i slow down and cancel the k-1?

That i have seen on here most of the relationships have gone on for years before filing. Maybe i should give it more time?

You do not know your Fiance either, trust me.

I think you should consider this childrens welfare.

I don't know how acceptable in his cultures by you sending him money. My fiance wanted to send me some money and I refused it - I am a woman, working, and the beneficiary as well-. Did he asked money from you? I don't think he should received money from you for any kind of reasons even just small amounts. He's a man for God Sake!

For me, just for me, when a man receives money from a woman when they just in short relationship I'm seeing might be a trouble in the future. Please, listen to your heart and it leads you to find your own way. Good luck!

I agree.

As a man speaking, I raised a stepdaughter from the age of 3, it was a thankless job. Daddy the drug addict was always Daddy, and I was the provider. It takes a special person to raise another mans children. Women should know the man she brings into her childrens life 100% put your feelings aside, and think very carefully about the men you bring into your and your childrens life. He is from another country and another culture, where women do not rate as high as men. I know this.

I agree.

One week isn't enough. Honestly, I can't believe the US government allows and approves petitions for people who've spent so little time together, but alas, how's it different from meeting a random guy and getting married in Vegas? I was lucky... I lived in Russia, so I lived with my husband before marriage and immigration stuff, but had I not lived in Russia, I would've waited a lot longer to get married and stuff, because you simply don't know a person well until you've lived with them and seen them at their best and worst (a week is merely a honeymoon, almost).

I don't know if you've dated internationally before, but it's HARD. If he's not from a fellow Anglo-Saxon culture, you WILL have culture shock. There will be fights that were actually miscommunication, misunderstandings, expectations will have to be adjusted, compromises have to be made, etc. It's like any other relationship, except this guy, being from another culture, might have some different views on family, work, etc, that might be a big deal.

I'd be careful. Not to mention lonely, older American women are wonderful targets for scams.

We dont argue. We dont fight.

Hahaha....no one couple doesn't fight. I don't mean fistcuffs just disagreements. Please be real to yourself, no one believes that any healthy relationship does not have disagreements.

Of course you don't. You saw each other for what I'm sure was a romance-filled week worthy of bad reality TV, and talk some hours a day about your day to day lives, nothing controversial there.

Everyone argues. That you're not means; a. you avoid talking about controversial topics or b. for whatever reason one or both of you doesn't disagree in order to keep the peace and attain something at the end of this.

OP, since you asked, you don't know your Fiance enough. You have nice friends and I am not one to reward meddling friends.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Personally speaking, sometimes friends are the worst people to get advice from especially if they are single. my thoughts to you is to pray about your situation, and leave people out of your business. Regardless of what money you sent him or what expenses he is paying for in the future, the worst mistake starting a marriage is putting others in your business. You are petitioning for him which means you have up to 90 day when he enters USA to observe him around your family and children, if you decide then before you marry him that he is not the one, he can leave the country un- married and you can petition for him later if you decide to do so. It's people on this site that visited each other several times but that don't get along any better, and I'm sure you have dated American guys and it didn't work out as well, so follow your heart or be lost in the shadows of your friends opinions. Good luck!

Please stop giving that advice.

This is part of the reason why these visas are hard to get for some.

Did you forget the letter in intent to marry within 90 days that you sent to USCIS?

[apple21 953]

This advice giving can go on and on and on and on…. there should be a poll

Edited December 2, 2013 by apple21

[Steve&Anna 3]

He is from dominican republic. I talk to him everyday, we skype all the time, but "in person" i have only spent a week and felt confident enough to start the k-1 process. As far as my statement about the kind of person he is, i feel he would cause no harm to me or my children, but i still have doubts in that area.

Trust yourself. Your doubt is because you don't know him well enough. I think a few visits face to face, will help you to resolve these feelings.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

The interview is in 2 months.

Pack your bags and remain with him as long as you possibly can.

Then decide if you

A. will go through with the interview

B. end the relationship

C. if granted the visa wait 5-6 month for him to enter

D. if denied start over again after more visits

Visa approval is not guaranteed.

To have doubts 5 min before the stroke of 12 is unsettling,

of course you went too fast but you are almost at interview time now.

Did you have doubts before your family talked to you about it or after ?

What exactly is it that makes you have doubts ? Any details you have left out about him such

as little inconsistencies, unavailability when you call sometimes, his digital tracks online ?

How long is the web cam on daily / at night ? Do you talk for hours about everything and anything ?

How much is a 'little money' and for what if he works and you share the costs anyway ?

Has he asked for it or was it like a birthday gift etc....

In the end it is you alone that must make the decision.

Proceed with caution but don't let anyone dictate to you what you should do.

Just visit again like nowish.

[janet&adonis 57]

The interview is in 2 months.

Pack your bags and remain with him as long as you possibly can.

Then decide if you

A. will go through with the interview

B. end the relationship

C. if granted the visa wait 5-6 month for him to enter

D. if denied start over again after more visits

Visa approval is not guaranteed.

To have doubts 5 min before the stroke of 12 is unsettling,

of course you went too fast but you are almost at interview time now.

Did you have doubts before your family talked to you about it or after ? I didnt have doubts before i talked to my friends, but they keep saying to take it slow that he could just be using me to get his papers...which i dont believe

What exactly is it that makes you have doubts ? Any details you have left out about him such

as little inconsistencies, unavailability when you call sometimes, his digital tracks online ? He is always available when i call, no matter what time i call. There are no other inconsistencies

How long is the web cam on daily / at night ? Do you talk for hours about everything and anything ? Yes!

How much is a 'little money' and for what if he works and you share the costs anyway ?

Has he asked for it or was it like a birthday gift etc.... No. He never asked for money. I voluntarily sent it. I had sent $40 here and there for medicine when his grandma got sick, and when he was sick and couldnt work and needed medicine.

In the end it is you alone that must make the decision.

Proceed with caution but don't let anyone dictate to you what you should do.

Just visit again like nowish.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

I would expect responses from couples who have gone through this. I have already spoken to my friends. They have never gone through a visa process so they dont understand, i am reaching out to others who may have been in the same situation.

Considering the red flags, I would be spending more time getting to know him, and be putting off the K-1 process for a while, 6 months to a year at least.

[kween71 11]

I'm in the same situation like you same abusive ex husband, I have 3kids just met my fiance in july went back to Jamaica in november spent one week with him, I'm trully in love with him but still skeptical because of my past relationship, but one of the things he told me was FALLOW your heart and that's what I'm doing so I haven't file yet I'm gonna go back in April to spend another week if we love each other as much as we say we will wait as long as it takes, we are both believers I put God first I have no doubt about my fiance but TIME can only do two things make you stronger in love or make the relationship weaker if it doesn't get stronger then there goes our answer.

Best of luck to you, I'm gona keep holding on to my FAITH in GOD...

[SparklePony 238]

I agree with just about everything that has been said. In my opinion, you have not spent enough time with him. You need to remember you're "forcing" a stepfather on your children. I have two of my own as well, and it's something that my fiance and I have talked at length about is the impact this will have on them. This is why, for us, having him come and spend two weeks with us was so important, so that they could get to know him. Two weeks is certainly not enough but I encourage them to talk to him on Skype, to ask questions, to continue building that relationship every single day. I talk a lot about him to my children and they're completely up to date on our visa journey because they need time to process that they're getting a stepdad in all this, and they need time to develop their own relationship with him.

I trust my fiance 200% with my kids and that is because we've been together for over two years now. That trust took a long time to develop. It took a lot of talks, and to this day it's something we discuss. For me, the time we spent physically together was vital.

As hard as it is, you have to think long and hard about whether or not you're still in the honeymoon phase. Everything seems perfect then, and it takes a while for the butterflies and rainbows to wear off. You have to see what your fiance is like in his bad days, how he reacts to upsetting news, how he is when he's frustrated, angry, sad, down in the dumps. True love happens no matter what the person is going through, but being with our loved ones when they're not at their best is a great way to truly know what kind of person they are. I highly doubt one week face to face gave you enough time to be with him during such a time.

Like others have said, slowing down doesn't mean calling things off. It means letting things develop longer, become stronger.

I had people tell me, friends I loved and trusted, that they did not believe things were real until he came to visit me. It's so so easy for online relationships to be a dream come true, for the person on the other side to be the perfect answer to our dreams. On the other side of the screen, things can be prefect, when they're not necessarily so in real life. Real life is where it gets puts to the test. When we "passed that test", those friends of mine became our biggest supporters. Your friends wouldn't have told you what they did if they didn't care for you and worry for you. Trust them. Trust yourself too. Trust your children and their gut reactions.