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american wife cheated and has a baby

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Hi. I got married over 2 years ago and had no problems getting the 2 year residence, which is expiring in 6 months (april).

At first everything was going great. We both lived at my sisters place. i bought a car and we are both on the title. We have a savings account with some money but hardly ever use it (only in emergencies), we have car insurance and always did taxes together. We even went to my country sonthat she could meet my parents. I'm supposed to send the application for the the permanent in 3 months. I'm still married to my wife but she cheated on me and had a baby with another man, at first I tought the baby was mine but then she told me that it wasn't, that it was someone else's. We had a huge fight and I left her for a couple of weeks, when the baby was birn the biological father signed it but now that the baby is 1 month old, he dissapared and she has applied to ask him for child support.

I still love her and she says she still loves me too. That he never never meant anything to her, we are still together but it is not the same anymore. I'm not sure of what to do, I still love her but I dont know if I will ever forgive her. when I told her I was thinking of divorcing her she told me she understood and that if that's what i wanted she would accept it. I'm also thinking how all that would would affect my status and the new new application I have to send. Will it make the case more complicated if I file for a divorce? Will I get kicked out of the country? Or they will understand my situation and the reason why I want to divorce? I've even read that divorcing might actually make it easier.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Jamaica
Timeline

Sorry this happened to you. If I were in your shoes I would file with a waiver even if I didn't get divorced right away (not sure if that is possible). If you DO want to get divorced for sure because of this it's best you do it now.

It will be very hard to explain why your wife had a child with someone else while she was supposed to be married to you. Sticking around might make it seem as though you are just staying for the 10 year card (which you can get by yourself if needs be). On the other hand, if you two want to work things out and truly love each other, find out if you can still file the waiver and explain that you are still married but things are uncertain now because of your wife's affair. It might help if she wrote a letter to the USCIS explaining the situation and that you guys want to try to make things work dispite her mistake.

All the best in whatever you do.

NATURALIZATION
07-03-2013: Eligible to file
07-22-2013: Application sent (Delivered: 07-24-13)
08-05-2013: NOA1 received (Priority date: 07-24-13, Check cashed: 07-29-13)
08-22-2013: Biometrics (Received: 08-06-13, Walk-in: 08-08-13)
09-03-2013: Inline for interview (Yellow letter received: 10-23-13)
11-04-2013: Interview scheduled (Received: 11-09-13)
12-12-2013: Interview (Approved)
01-03-2014: Oath ceremony, passport application and passport received

DONE!

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits, from Moving Family members of Permanent Residents to America - As a more appropriate forum~~

Moderator hat off

If you still love each other then seek a therapist, for yourself and as a couple. Forgiveness is earn back not just given. Also just my two cents get a DNA test done to be sure. Couples have problems it will not look bad later if you can show you two took steps to fix the issue.

Edited by Ontarkie
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Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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Filed: Other Country: Brazil
Timeline

My two cents a cheater always a cheater.. you deserve better.

File for divorce asap and submit your I-751 waiver, once the divorce is finalized submit copy of the divorce decree.If you have enough proof showing bonafide marriage you will be ok. Submit a letter along with your form I-751 explaining the reason you decided to file for divorce.

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Please get away from this situation I been there and trust me its not gonna get any better. You aint never gonna chance her so Move on with your life.

My Timeline:

01 December 2011 - Got married <3
15 December 2011 - J-1 Visa(Au Pair) Expired!

(AOS)
06 March 2012 - Day 01 - Sent AOS to Chicago lockbox: I-485, I-130, I-765, G-1145 & Surgeon`s Sealed Envelope
08 March 2012 - Day 03 - Package arrived confirmation USPS
12 March 2012 - Day 07 - Received txt message and email for I-797
13 March 2012 - Day 08 - Checks Cashed by USCIS
29 March 2012 - Day 24 - CASE STATUS ONLINE: On March 29, 2012, the Post Office returned the notice we last sent to you as undeliverable.(NOA`S)
03 April 2012 - Day 29 - CASE STATUS ONLINE: On April 03, 2012, the Post Office returned the notice we last sent to you as undeliverable.(NOA`s)
13 April 2012 - Day 39 - Received NOA`s for I-485, I-130 and I-765 and also received appointment letter for Biometrics for May, 08.
08 MAy 2012 - Day 64 - Biometrics Done
08 MAy 2012 - Day 64 - EAD Approval Online
14 May 2012 - Day 70 - EAD in the Mail
17 May 2012 - Day 73 - EAD in Hands.
21 May 2012 - Day 77 - Interview date schedule for June 26th!

26 June 2012 - Interview Date - Approved on the spot

08 July 2012 - Green Card Received!

October 22 2012 - Separation from Husband - Moved to NJ

August 8 2013 - Divorce Finalized sad.png

(ROC)

January 22 2014 - Sent I-751 Waiver Package to Vermont Service Center

January 24 2014 - Package arrived confirmation USPS

January 31 2014 - Check Cashed by VSC FIELD OFFICE

February 03 2014 - NOA1 Received - Date on the Letter: 01/27/14

February 10 2014 - NOA2 Received - Biometrics Appointment on 02/27/14

February 27 2014 - Biometrics Done

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Filed: Other Country: United Kingdom
Timeline

Please get away from this situation I been there and trust me its not gonna get any better. You aint never gonna chance her so Move on with your life.

We all make mistakes and deserve a second chance but then every situation is unique....This decision has to be taken by you depending on your situation....

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Filed: Timeline

I don't understand how you can love her knowing she has been sleeping around? What makes you think she will not cheat again, or she already have? CUT the

umbilical cord now!!

This and ..

Please get away from this situation I been there and trust me its not gonna get any better. You aint never gonna chance her so Move on with your life.

... also this.

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Filed: Timeline

Dude if U start signing papers for that baby U will be stuck

paying for life while she go back dilly dallying with baby-daddy

don't be a sucker', don't get attached to the baby and get a DNA,

that love $#!t is to tie U up with 18-21 yrs of responsibility.

Dude she NEVER loved U, cheating?...getting pregnant?...

she did not even respect U to use a condom....luckily she only

caught a baby & not something else.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Egypt
Timeline

Dude if U start signing papers for that baby U will be stuck

paying for life while she go back dilly dallying with baby-daddy

don't be a sucker', don't get attached to the baby and get a DNA,

that love $#!t is to tie U up with 18-21 yrs of responsibility.

Dude she NEVER loved U, cheating?...getting pregnant?...

she did not even respect U to use a condom....luckily she only

caught a baby & not something else.

Your totally right.

OP.If i were you, I wouldn't even come here to make a post.I would be getting DNA test first because it might be your baby and since she is a cheater, She could be a liar too and they both couldn't get kids and decided to get one from and you even pay for it and they keep it for them..Get what i mean...Your in your strongest time now...Get the DNA test right away and file for a divorce then apply for waiver and my personal opinion that it will approved 100% since u could prove that the baby isn't yours and she is a cheater....the DNA results are your life now.

Beautiful patience.

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Considering that you have no real history of trust and fidelity together, you will never really trust her, ever. If this happened 10 years into a marriage, I'd say you two could get over it. I'm willing to bet this relationship with the other man started long before you were around. I've been here, as much as you try to rationalize the infidelity and no matter how sympathetic to her situation you can be, you will always wonder whether she's really where she says she is. You will always have that nagging feeling that she might have someone else. The foundation to your marriage is broken, don't build on a broken foundation.

2011-05-21: Matched on eharmony (clearly not in my 60 mile radius preference!)

2011-07-30: Met in Ottawa

2011-08-28: Day I knew I wanted to spend my life with her

2012-01-21: I proposed, outside in the freezing cold!

2012-02-06: Mailed out K-1 via FedEX

2012-02-10: NOA1

2012-08-01: NOA2

2012-08-17: Packet 3 received (email)

2012-09-10: Packet 3 sent

2012-09-12: Packet 4 received (email) with request for 2 photos

2012-10-29: Medical in Toronto

2012-11-06: Interview - Approved!

2013-04-05: POE Thousand Islands

2013-04-20: Wedding

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Hi. I got married over 2 years ago and had no problems getting the 2 year residence, which is expiring in 6 months (april).

At first everything was going great. We both lived at my sisters place. i bought a car and we are both on the title. We have a savings account with some money but hardly ever use it (only in emergencies), we have car insurance and always did taxes together. We even went to my country sonthat she could meet my parents. I'm supposed to send the application for the the permanent in 3 months. I'm still married to my wife but she cheated on me and had a baby with another man, at first I tought the baby was mine but then she told me that it wasn't, that it was someone else's. We had a huge fight and I left her for a couple of weeks, when the baby was birn the biological father signed it but now that the baby is 1 month old, he dissapared and she has applied to ask him for child support.

I still love her and she says she still loves me too. That he never never meant anything to her, we are still together but it is not the same anymore. I'm not sure of what to do, I still love her but I dont know if I will ever forgive her. when I told her I was thinking of divorcing her she told me she understood and that if that's what i wanted she would accept it. I'm also thinking how all that would would affect my status and the new new application I have to send. Will it make the case more complicated if I file for a divorce? Will I get kicked out of the country? Or they will understand my situation and the reason why I want to divorce? I've even read that divorcing might actually make it easier.

Sorry about your situation, I doubt if there's any serious things left in this relationship based on your comment....why would you want to be with someone that cheated on you and had a baby with another man baby while married to you?? I think it's time to turn a new chapter and move on. You've a strong case to move on without being kicked out of the country. Just be sure of what you're saying regarding the baby before you move on to file. Good luck.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

It's not the end of the world. and you can love the kid like it is your own. If you still love each other I would keep trying. Don't worry about the green card and visa stuff that will work itself out you shouldn't base your decisions on that. I personally would adopt the kid and get the other guy out of the picture ASAP. Good luck in whatever you decide.

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Filed: Timeline

You're getting two different situations mixed up here. Your marriage and your legal status. These are two different things and should be treated as such. If you're worried about your status, that's not going to get any better if you try to do what "looks better on paper."

You can file for removal of conditions jointy, if you plan to stay with her, or you can get a divorce and file for removal of conditions without her if you don't plan to stay with her. The sure way to get kicked out of the country is to stay with her for immigration purposes. Trust me, I know it's a tough battle, I'm there myself as my wife and I separated before the summer, and I'm still battling with myself. Ultimately, the only person who can make this decision is you. You guys' situation is different, your history is different, and I cannot make any decision as to what might be best for you, or if she has owned up and can be trusted again. These are decisions that you need to make, independently of immigration status. In the end, if you entered into the marriage in good faith, and you can show this, you will be able to stay in the country whether you're married still or divorced.

The USCIS knows that infidelity happens, and they're not going to punish you for leaving her, and they're not going to punish you for trying to stay. Their ultimate concern is whether the marriage was entered into in good faith.

On a personal note, since she had a baby, you not only have to figure out if you can forgive and forget - You have to have an honest conversation with yourself on whether or not you love this baby and if you're willing to raise this baby. This baby is an innocent part to all of this.

Edited by jaycali
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