american wife cheated and has a baby

[Jawaree 717]

HA

[ditabc213 0]

Got the results and as I tought the baby is not mine and I've decided to divorce her and I'll file I-751 waiver. can you please give me any insight on how that process is? Does the divorce have to be finalized when I file the waiver? Should I wait? How do I submit it? Do I have to attattachletter explaining the situation when filing? Should I get a lawyer?

[Jawaree 717]

Get an atty . make sure U have copy of DNA,,,thats your ace

Darnell , Gowan or someone else who knows the divorce route to

temp GC will give U more info

[Caryh 5,206]

Got the results and as I tought the baby is not mine and I've decided to divorce her and I'll file I-751 waiver. can you please give me any insight on how that process is? Does the divorce have to be finalized when I file the waiver? Should I wait? How do I submit it? Do I have to attattachletter explaining the situation when filing? Should I get a lawyer?

You file when the divorce is finalized and send a copy of the divorce papers with. You still need to prove the valid marriage intent. If your two year removal of conditions are due and the divorce is not completed, you file with the divorce waiver option and you'll get an RFE for the divorce papers. Hopefully you'll have them by then, if not they'll deny you, you appeal, you'll see a judge, who will tell USCIS to wait for your divorce to be finalized so you can provide the divorce decree. You're probably going to need an attorney to protect you in the divorce. Some states don't like allowing a divorce when the wife is pregnant, because they want to stick someone with support payments, even it its not your child.

[Shiobhan 235]

The child is born and he's in position of DNA report = not his

this will help to prove that U were in it bonafide with your other

papers, she messed up, the judge wiil know not evn he'd take

that #######. Get a lawyer

[THETIMEISNOW 37]

Because you are a "woman of god", do you think that only "god's" code of morals is the only right one? Trust me, there are a lot of people that don't "need god" in their lives in order to make sound decisions.

You should get off your preachy, high horse.

Oh, and watching porn is not cheating, having intercourse with another person, and getting pregnant, that's cheating.

Respect her opinion as just that, an opinion, and stop being so RUDE!!!

[HoussemAnna 20]

“What God has joined together, let man not separate . . . I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:6, 9)
according to the bible the only acceptable reason to divorce is unfaithfulness. And in most religions adultery is grounds for divorce (even death).

You have to choose your own path in life, and be responsible for your choices. Just like your wife will have to be responsible for hers, unfortunately an innocent child will be the one who loses in all this and will suffer the consequences.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

“What God has joined together, let man not separate . . . I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:6, 9)

according to the bible the only acceptable reason to divorce is unfaithfulness. And in most religions adultery is grounds for divorce (even death).

You have to choose your own path in life, and be responsible for your choices. Just like your wife will have to be responsible for hers, unfortunately an innocent child will be the one who loses in all this and will suffer the consequences.

You have got to be kidding. Suggesting that adultery is the only reason one should be divorced? What if the man, or woman is physically abusing his or her spouse? There is no way out? You are suggesting here that this adulterous woman should even be killed? Stoned to death I assume? Oh but wait a minute. The verse you cite only allows men to divorce their wives... Wow, that's really something. I am a Christian and I believe GOD wants us to ALL be happy. All I can say is wow.

Aloha Ke Akua

Respect her opinion as just that, an opinion, and stop being so RUDE!!!

I agree.

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

“What God has joined together, let man not separate . . . I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:6, 9)

according to the bible the only acceptable reason to divorce is unfaithfulness. And in most religions adultery is grounds for divorce (even death).

You have to choose your own path in life, and be responsible for your choices. Just like your wife will have to be responsible for hers, unfortunately an innocent child will be the one who loses in all this and will suffer the consequences.

LOL. I'm sorry, I just don't see how that Bible reference is applicable to anyone anymore. My fiance's family is from a very traditional culture but divorce is fairly common. When you don't get to date someone or spend much time with them, how do you know you'll like being married to them? Anyway, sounds like the OP has decided on divorce so arguing over it is moot.

That child is innocent, yes, but it is not the OP's responsibility. That child is the product of his wife's indiscretion. She and her lover are responsible for their child. She can sue the lover for child support if he doesn't man up.

OP- Caryh is right. I can't imagine the pain you are going through, but wish you the best in the future. You never know who you'll meet down the road.

[HoussemAnna 20]

You have got to be kidding. Suggesting that adultery is the only reason one should be divorced? What if the man, or woman is physically abusing his or her spouse? There is no way out? You are suggesting here that this adulterous woman should even be killed? Stoned to death I assume? Oh but wait a minute. The verse you cite only allows men to divorce their wives... Wow, that's really something. I am a Christian and I believe GOD wants us to ALL be happy. All I can say is wow.

Aloha Ke Akua

I agree.

I was quoting the bible, which is what everyone failed to use when talking about christian beliefs. As for saying it was ok to stone anyone ect... DID I EVER SAY THIS WAS RIGHT?, i was saying in some other religions this was what would happen! As for citing the bible and men divorcing their wife i thought this was a case of a man divorcing his wife? And also for your other stipulations of physical abuse and other terrible things that could happen in a marriage we were discussing infidelity, All I can say it I am not trying to offend anyone and btw check your bible that is the standard and guidebook to Christianity. Not what u think God wants.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

Considering that you have no real history of trust and fidelity together, you will never really trust her, ever. If this happened 10 years into a marriage, I'd say you two could get over it. I'm willing to bet this relationship with the other man started long before you were around. I've been here, as much as you try to rationalize the infidelity and no matter how sympathetic to her situation you can be, you will always wonder whether she's really where she says she is. You will always have that nagging feeling that she might have someone else. The foundation to your marriage is broken, don't build on a broken foundation.

Very well said..

OP: Only you know if you can truly feel the same as you did before. I was cheated on and never did feel the same way - I stayed another three years and was miserable with mistrust and made us both miserable.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

I am far from delusional!!! I am a woman of God and know that forgiveness and second, third and fourth...chances are possible. Everything is possible with God, but from what I am reading from the majority here, ya'll need God in your lives.

Oh and yes, how old are you, and you have never heard of mental adultery?????? Just because you don't commit the physical act, the mental thought was there. You say that your spouses are not screwing other people and making babies....hhhmmmm....do you know that for an absolute fact???? Is everyone with their spouse 24/7? I think you are the one delusional. How many times have you heard one say...oh no, not my wife/husband...they know better than to cheat...i wish they might....i would leave in a heartbeat and then oh, truth comes out, the spouse has had an affair. It is not easy to swallow, but nobody would like to think our spouses are cheating, but fact remains, many do. Some get caught, some dont and some admit the affair due to feeling guilty. If there was no love, there would be no feelings of guilt!!!

Sadly I'm probably guilty of mental adultery about 10 times a day.. I think my wife is too because the shower is never on the same setting when I get home as when I left.

Do I know what she is doing 24/7 or for that matter right this minute? Not a clue.. well.. probably somewhere spending money... If I have to worry about where she is or what she is doing or who she is with then that is the problem. Trust is an awesome thing.

Edited November 15, 2013 by OnMyWayID

[TBoneTX 43,061]

The OP hasn't logged on to VJ since October 30.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

The OP hasn't logged on to VJ since October 30.

Yeah

[Jon York 156]

First thing I want to say is to the OP. You stated that you don't know if you can forgive her. Forgiveness is not for "her". Forgiveness is for YOU! When you forgive, and I mean truly forgive her, it releases you from carrying the pain of the situation. It releases the anger you are holding on to. You may have to forgive her multiple times. So just think about it, the forgiveness is not for her, it is for you.

Yes, that's a good point you make. He should find a way to forgive her in his heart. BUT, that doesn't necessarily mean it's wise to stay with her. You can forgive and at the same time decide that remaining in the situation would just lead to more of the same. Jesus did specifically give adultery as legitimate grounds for divorce. So, forgiveness is one thing and deciding whether to stay or leave is a separate issue. Other than that, I agree with your sentiments.

Edited December 8, 2013 by Jaybolo