Fradulent husband married for a visa

[MedRoni 161]

The good comes to the OP in knowing she helped prevent the possibility of it happening to another woman. No harm comes of it to the man if he does not try to do anything wrong or illegal.

[Darnell 8,478]

I know, Darnell. I'm easy. If you explain the gain to The bride, I'll be gladly corrected

you could always read or re-read my first post in this topic. Some things are blatant, others are hinted.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Hey, that post was fantastic! If there is definite benefit to her divorce conditions, then I am all for it

[resalien 3]

I appreciate that. As I look back, I recall going crazy being on visa journey trying to get my husband here faster and staying up all night figuring out the forms. Just saddens me, thinking why me?

I am a perm resident....unfortunately my USC spouse destroyed my life. Now I could sit here and say why me but that won't help me at all. Although I wanted to get back at her for I864 until a few weeks ago....I learned to move on..

Edited July 25, 2013 by resalien

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Put emotions away. OP has a lot of issues in both her near and distant future. If someone has good divorce advice - that would help her

[believe 46]

SingkeDad2usc What you are doing in this thread is called gaslighting. Feel free to read up on it.

OP, Darnell has given you great advice, & you've shown strength by the steps you're taking. Keep going. You'll do great.

[Darnell 8,478]

Wow - Just read up on gaslighting ...

SingleDad - wei - stop it.

[Penguin_ie 5,987]

**** one post removed and one poster thread banned. Post constructive, on topic advice or do not post ******

[Ihavequestions 419]

Wow - Just read up on gaslighting ...

SingleDad - wei - stop it.

Not attacking, just stating the obvious: his entire posting history is full of it and there is no good reason it should be allowed to continue.

Yet it is.

[taal 28]

Day two of this process and seems like its not getting easier, but I'm not hurt as much...Surrounding myself with positive supportive people is benefiting me. Thankful, my husband called me and wanted to fix things, and wanted a second chance. I just don't understand I asked him to head to counseling several times and wanted a second chance. It seems like he realized that his parents will have a longer journey to immigrate to the USA once we are divorced. He didn't call me the day I left or stop me when I walked out of my house, instead was smiling. Just irritating, that my parents are seeing a man wanting to work things out now.....His mom started calling me as well and this woman was aware of our situation and told me to wait and he'd grow up. Changing my phone number today, don't need this negativity.

[Golden Gate 530]

Day two of this process and seems like its not getting easier, but I'm not hurt as much...Surrounding myself with positive supportive people is benefiting me. Thankful, my husband called me and wanted to fix things, and wanted a second chance. I just don't understand I asked him to head to counseling several times and wanted a second chance. It seems like he realized that his parents will have a longer journey to immigrate to the USA once we are divorced. He didn't call me the day I left or stop me when I walked out of my house, instead was smiling. Just irritating, that my parents are seeing a man wanting to work things out now.....His mom started calling me as well and this woman was aware of our situation and told me to wait and he'd grow up. Changing my phone number today, don't need this negativity.

Kudos to you, Taal. You are on the right track!

[Darnell 8,478]

Ya, he's going to squirm a bit, IMO, this week and next.

He'll squirm more once the court sends him the divorce filing and he reads his name as a defendant.

[calygirl75 12]

Unfortunately some of us on this board have individuals with personality disorders in our lives. So it is easier to spot these patterns of behavior. What you describe in your soon to be X is typical behavior these folks engage in, in order to generate self-doubt and guilt. Actions speak louder than words and right now it appears he is wearing the schmoozing, charming, and victim mask before you family yet attempting to manipulate you into not taking action. Cut him off. They are cunning, cold, and very aware of their own behavior.

[verysadguy 170]

Unfortunately some of us on this board have individuals with personality disorders in our lives. So it is easier to spot these patterns of behavior. What you describe in your soon to be X is typical behavior these folks engage in, in order to generate self-doubt and guilt. Actions speak louder than words and right now it appears he is wearing the schmoozing, charming, and victim mask before you family yet attempting to manipulate you into not taking action. Cut him off. They are cunning, cold, and very aware of their own behavior.

Simple test for personality disorders.

If things you do bother yourself, those folks tend to be neurotic. Not necessarily pathological but they are anxious, nervous, lower self esteem, wonder what others think of them, but not totally paranoid.

If someone constantly and pervasively puts others on the defensive and the recipient feels pressure or under attack or belittled, the person inflicting those feelings may have a personality disorder.

Neurotics feel bad. Personality disorders make others feel bad (think the super strong personality who is always right and makes you feel stupid or wrong, or the passive-aggressive who always is driving you mad)

My ex is the super charming type who wins everyone over...for her own gain and you never feel the pain...until it is too late. Divorce was right for this OP.

Wow, gaslighting on wikipedia, interesting, but totally geared towards men as employing it. Women do it too. My wife flat denies the horrific things she did and everyone believes her. Glad I kept all the pictures and emails as evidence.

This OP should chronicle with a timeline and amass evidence for court.

[Ryan_and_Priscy 16]

Day two of this process and seems like its not getting easier, but I'm not hurt as much...Surrounding myself with positive supportive people is benefiting me. Thankful, my husband called me and wanted to fix things, and wanted a second chance. I just don't understand I asked him to head to counseling several times and wanted a second chance. It seems like he realized that his parents will have a longer journey to immigrate to the USA once we are divorced. He didn't call me the day I left or stop me when I walked out of my house, instead was smiling. Just irritating, that my parents are seeing a man wanting to work things out now.....His mom started calling me as well and this woman was aware of our situation and told me to wait and he'd grow up. Changing my phone number today, don't need this negativity.

How many times have you heard that "He will grow up"? And that is coming from his mom? Nope. He will never grow up. And now that he sees that his chances to bring his family are so narrow because his only way to do it so is not with him anymore... yeah, I get it. He will come and beg you and cry and ask for a second chance... The point is, he had chances already but he ignored. People thought you were not that strong, but they are wrong. You are strong! This is your time so take it and don't let anyone to take away your freedom.