We Are a Perfect Match, But... Did We Meet Too Late? Please Help!

[Sapphire Moon 25]

...In my opinion, If it were me, I definitely would not rush into anything in regards to that relationship. I wouldn't want to be in the middle of that sticky situation.

... once I found out that he was married, I would be out the door.

Just my thinking of course!

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Meeting a man that is in a long term relationship and playing around does not make for a good future. A man that is a player doesn't just get "better" overnight. He is at a stage where EVERY new sex partner is the soul mate of his life. If he divorces current wife and marries you, the next soul mate is around the corner. I am old enough to have seen this type of relationship hopper many times. Sometimes they are young and sometime they are just old fools. But good spouse material they are not.

[Juliet and Steve 93]

Interesting topic; he is married to her but he was meant for me?

Statistically speaking: "he is married to her but he was meant for me" (spoken by woman #3)

Of course there really is not enough data to apply stats here...

[Jawaree 717]

That's usually what disloyal partners say, "met U at the wrong time" young

lady he's a married man that dated this lady a while before tying the knot

all that BS talk is to get some nooky...the man is married even if he did leave her

and marry you how soon would he jump over your fence to another doing the same

to you when he finds greener pastures?...he probably say they no longer sleep

together...I am not being mean just telling you as I would my sister ....you're being

played

[ppihtr123 68]

I have to agree with what have told you so far. You have some pretty green grass right now.

You just need to ask yourself... Why am I searching for a way for a married man to be with me? If HE WANTED to, he already would be.

[M and C 32]

I'm sorry, but I see red flags all over this situation. I suggest you think things over about your relationship with this guy. He is MARRIED. You can take it from there.

Edited May 4, 2013 by M and C

[M and C 32]

I understand that you are 'connected' but this is a married man and you have only known each other for a few months. Proceed with caution.

Be wary. Be very wary.

[Fight for Love 98]

let just put it this way....for your "KARMA SAKE".....leave them alone!!! just imagine oneday u'll be with him. don't u think he might do the same to u? how can he fall in love that fast and fall out of love that quick? something is not right with this man.

yes it will hurt u now. but i think its better than being with him everyday and your life turn miserable!!

[Judy2Rock 7]

My advise is this little quote " If you love someone, set them free and if they return, it was meant to be".

Let me share a little piece of my story, I knew my husband ever since I was a teenager, when his mother found out I was visiting her house she complained to my mother about it. We had to stop seeing each other.. all those mother talk.. teenage pregnancy, school.. now is not the time for this..etc.

He got married a few years later and migrated to the US. I never made contact with him for approximately 20 yrs. I finished High School, got a Job move to another parish and lived my life.

We reunited in 2009 at this time he was going through his divorce, and it was at that time he knew why I stopped talking to him back then. I was still living my life as usual we did not even talk relationship until 2011 he took a trip and ask me if I would visit him while here. I agreed. when I visited he handed me an envelope inside was his divorce decree, he then popped the magical question.

He took me to his mother and asked her if she remember this person, she said yes how could I forget her but I have not seen her in ages, he said to her well we will be getting married soon. She remarked "what is to be must be good luck to both of you".

When I told my mother she remarked "look at how I break up your friendship with him, but I was trying to protect you, you are an adult now and can make your own decisions good luck and I need a grandson".

So my story a good example of my above quote "If you love someone, set them free and if they return, it was meant to be".

[Tosh Love 77]

Meeting a man that is in a long term relationship and playing around does not make for a good future. A man that is a player doesn't just get "better" overnight. He is at a stage where EVERY new sex partner is the soul mate of his life. If he divorces current wife and marries you, the next soul mate is around the corner. I am old enough to have seen this type of relationship hopper many times. Sometimes they are young and sometime they are just old fools. But good spouse material they are not.

[daphoknee 4]

Please be wary. I'd be worried about his intentions; how can someone fall in and out of love so quickly?

The only people that can tell you whether you two can have a future together are you and him. What are you both willing to do to make this work? However which way you cut it you will be breaking up a marriage, do you want to be the "homewrecker"?

I'd hate to be in his wife's position right now.

[UK_Fan 192]

if he is in a process of getting a green card through his wife, he will be lying to the IO at his interview about good intentions of his marriage.. and that's just sad. and just as somebody said, i fell awful for his wife. and the OP... no offence, but dating a married man? is that really something you wanna get into? how would you like if that was done to you? just saying..

[Kehinde 45]

Keep in mind if he can do this to his wife after only being married less than a year, then you are going to get it worse cos i promise you he will do it to you. I feel sorry for his wife. Does he have any remorse for doing this to her/

[mtcmk1 37]

Sorry... this may sound like I'm judging, but take it as a simple opinion... What makes you think that he won't leave you for another person that he will probably meet in 2 years?

Anyways, if his GC is already in hand, I don't see any problems with him divorcing. But if he truly thinks that he has met the love of his life, i.e. you, then GC or no GC, he would leave the marriage he currently is in...

[Calypso 464]

I am in a strange situation. Several months ago, I met a really great guy and since then, we have really connected, so much so that we can see a future together.

However, the major issue we have is that, before he met me, he had been dating another girl for two years. Please keep in mind that she is American and he is not. Five months ago, this girl asked him if he'd want to take the next step with her in life and, having no other plans in that department, he agreed. As he is a foreigner, paperwork started then and they are now legally married. It's not just an issue of being with the wrong girl and meeting the right one afterwards. It's a mess of legal issues pertaining to green cards, etc. Neither he nor I expected to meet and have such a connection. I feel there is no way that he and I can alter the situation and be together.

Is this true? I hope so much that it isn't!

Does anyone else have any experience with this? We mean no ill will and we in no way wish to disobey the system. We just met at the wrong time and this is heartbreaking for me. Is there no way we might have a future together?

Are you sure you want to be with someone who is wishy-washy and cannot honor his commitments? You may have not come here to ask for relationship advice but let me give you one. Grow up and let that guy grow up, too.

You've said that girl #1 asked this guy to be with her only five months ago and that you met him several months ago. I think "a few months" is more appropriate than "several." If this guy can easily say that she's the wrong girl for him and that you're the right one all TOO FAST, then the only future I see for the two of you is staying apart from each other.

If it's also true that it was girl #1 who initiated in bringing their relationship to the next step, then apparently he can't make up his mind and just allows women to take him to any direction. He will go with whoever wants him so think this through before you shoulder the responsibility of helping him in the legal processes involved to get him out of the mess he's creating.

Edited May 4, 2013 by Calypso