We Are a Perfect Match, But... Did We Meet Too Late? Please Help!

[Christi85 86]

The OP hasn't responded to any of the posts relating to the thread she started.

Until she does (and if she does) there is no point in speculating on her situation, neither offering advice on an unknown case. There are a lot of things that need to be clarified and if the OP is truly in need of advice and help, she will need to provide more information in the first place in order to receive accurate advice.

At the very least we need to know:

1) her status (US citizen? US permanent resident? non US resident? other?)

2) her boyfriend's legal status and what immigration process he is currently going through with his wife

3) what his intentions are with regards to the initiated immigration process and the marriage with his wife, if his decision is to be with the OP instead and separate with his wife. If he has chosen to stay with his wife and pursue immigration benefits through her and have an unofficial affair with the OP on the side, that is their business and the answer to what the OP can realistically anticipate with regards to a "future together".

[tashired 18]

My advise is this little quote " If you love someone, set them free and if they return, it was meant to be".

Let me share a little piece of my story, I knew my husband ever since I was a teenager, when his mother found out I was visiting her house she complained to my mother about it. We had to stop seeing each other.. all those mother talk.. teenage pregnancy, school.. now is not the time for this..etc.

He got married a few years later and migrated to the US. I never made contact with him for approximately 20 yrs. I finished High School, got a Job move to another parish and lived my life.

We reunited in 2009 at this time he was going through his divorce, and it was at that time he knew why I stopped talking to him back then. I was still living my life as usual we did not even talk relationship until 2011 he took a trip and ask me if I would visit him while here. I agreed. when I visited he handed me an envelope inside was his divorce decree, he then popped the magical question.

He took me to his mother and asked her if she remember this person, she said yes how could I forget her but I have not seen her in ages, he said to her well we will be getting married soon. She remarked "what is to be must be good luck to both of you".

When I told my mother she remarked "look at how I break up your friendship with him, but I was trying to protect you, you are an adult now and can make your own decisions good luck and I need a grandson".

So my story a good example of my above quote "If you love someone, set them free and if they return, it was meant to be".

I totally agree with you as Im a sucker for true love, but as a married woman reading her post, it does not sit well with me :@ Edited May 5, 2013 by tashired

[infoplease 0]

HELLO. I AM THE ORIGINAL POSTER.

Forgive my lack of knowledge on how to use this site. I am apparently in the wrong topic and I Don't know if this reply will reach anyone.

In any case, I should have specified that I am not looking for a moral beating. This man and I are in a strange situation. You do not know the emotions or people involved. I was trying to state it as plainly as possible. I see now that I missed out on including some information necessary for help, but you are all simply harping on the ethics involved.

If someone can provide actual advice that does not involve the morals involved, I thank you.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

advise = run run very fast

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

HELLO. I AM THE ORIGINAL POSTER.

Forgive my lack of knowledge on how to use this site. I am apparently in the wrong topic and I Don't know if this reply will reach anyone.

In any case, I should have specified that I am not looking for a moral beating. This man and I are in a strange situation. You do not know the emotions or people involved. I was trying to state it as plainly as possible. I see now that I missed out on including some information necessary for help, but you are all simply harping on the ethics involved.

If someone can provide actual advice that does not involve the morals involved, I thank you.

Hi..

No judgments here but the information you have given is not enough to anaswer your question. Many times when people are in these types of situations they post here with very fuzzy information. If you want a quality answer you need to provide more complete information. You are anonymous...

specifically: Are you a USC? A Resident? Currently living in the country? The guy: Is he currently living in the US? You said they only decided to start their journey a few months ago with the CR-1 process - where are they at? Waiting for USCIS? NO greencard?

In short: people need yours and his exact status (immigration wise) and where he and his wife are in the process to give you an accurate answer as to what the options are.

[Christi85 86]

Hi..

No judgments here but the information you have given is not enough to anaswer your question. Many times when people are in these types of situations they post here with very fuzzy information. If you want a quality answer you need to provide more complete information. You are anonymous...

specifically: Are you a USC? A Resident? Currently living in the country? The guy: Is he currently living in the US? You said they only decided to start their journey a few months ago with the CR-1 process - where are they at? Waiting for USCIS? NO greencard?

In short: people need yours and his exact status (immigration wise) and where he and his wife are in the process to give you an accurate answer as to what the options are.

Precisely. Please answer the above questions on your situation. Otherwise there is no way anyone can give you any accurate advice.

I would also add to that: has he specifically told you that he intends to leave his wife to be with you? This could have a direct impact on his eligibility for immigration benefits and his legal stay in the US, therefore the prospects of his relationship with you - depending on what your answers are to the other questions.

[Solomon&Anne 29]

Please give us more information that you left out ...... And I will tell you Im sorry if you felt I gave you a moral beatin ..... Im not a lawyer so i can not give you legal advice .... If you want legal advice you need to go to a lawyer or legal aid many do free consultations....... I do not know much about you and yours life, and the people involved ect ect..... but I can tell you this It saddens me that 100s of people are on this forum waiting to be with the one that they love we wait and wait and wait for the day we get our approvals and you come on here and speak of this wonderful relationship you have with your man who has a wife that brought him here to the USA out of love......and you dont expect to get a lil moral beatin....you are what we wives in waiting fear most .......So please call a lawyer, call his wife, call immigration but dont expect some of us to understand......You need to do what is good for you ..... not whats good for him .... not whats good for anyone else.....I really pray you work things out and you get the most of your life with or without him.....just sayin

[MedRoni 161]

HELLO. I AM THE ORIGINAL POSTER.

Forgive my lack of knowledge on how to use this site. I am apparently in the wrong topic and I Don't know if this reply will reach anyone.

In any case, I should have specified that I am not looking for a moral beating. This man and I are in a strange situation. You do not know the emotions or people involved. I was trying to state it as plainly as possible. I see now that I missed out on including some information necessary for help, but you are all simply harping on the ethics involved.

If someone can provide actual advice that does not involve the morals involved, I thank you.

No offense intended here, but realistically once you choose to go the immigration route your life - all of it, including the fact you met and married a very recently married man that already started the immigration process with another woman WILL be the governments business and you WILL be judged by the immigration officers. So I understand you are not looking for any "moral beatings" here - however when you post anywhere online about your personal life you will always get some opinions and advise. It might be wise for you to be open to some of it. You have said you are in a "strange situation" and that is correct! Strange because it is normally a moral issue for most, not because it is odd or unheard of.

Maybe we do not know about emotions involved... I know I sure don't and never will. But we are not ignorant to love. As someone said earlier - we have all been through separation of loved ones. If it is meant to be it will work out - most likely if you leave him alone to figure it all out, but if you really want to know about immigration wise, you are toying with issues while he is still married. When you answer the questions related things can be more specific. Just bear in mind with the easiest of cases immigration is still a tough process.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

My perspective of a "bona fide" relationship, which needs to be proven at his interview, is lacking due to exactly that...the absence of good morals. There is no bona fide foundation for an immigration future in my opinion. If you think we are giving you a moral beating just wait until an interviewing officer will start asking some serious questions.

It will be an uphill battle.

You said in your second post : I see now that I missed out on including some information necessary for help, but you are all simply harping on the ethics involved.

If someone can provide actual advice that does not involve the morals involved, I thank you.

Since your and his morals will be questioned in an interview, I personally feel morals are a valid point to bring up here to advice you. You still didn't answer the questions about the exact

immigration details. The situation may 'appear' potentially fraudulent with the information provided and that is exactly what you are up against. We have bona fide couples here getting denied without any of the drama you mentioned so please don't expect that the lack of ethics won't be mentioned here. It certainly will be scrutinized by an interviewing officer and you will need solid answers to overcome their speculations and assumptions whatever they may be. Morals, a bona fide relationship with plenty of evidence and the immigration process go hand in hand

and you can not distance yourself from that. The timing of meeting, marrying and divorcing is of importance in regards to filing. This triangular background is not in your favor.

[Boiler 43,563]

HELLO. I AM THE ORIGINAL POSTER.

Forgive my lack of knowledge on how to use this site. I am apparently in the wrong topic and I Don't know if this reply will reach anyone.

In any case, I should have specified that I am not looking for a moral beating. This man and I are in a strange situation. You do not know the emotions or people involved. I was trying to state it as plainly as possible. I see now that I missed out on including some information necessary for help, but you are all simply harping on the ethics involved.

If someone can provide actual advice that does not involve the morals involved, I thank you.

You only posted enough information to allow for only moral comments.

And what did you expect anyway?

[CarlaDave 27]

You only posted enough information to allow for only moral comments.

And what did you expect anyway?

Add that to the fact no other information is given except she's cheating with a married man and we're supposed to give her advise how to continue hurting his wife.

Funny how all the questions being asked regarding the immigration status is ignored.

I feel no empathy for the OP.

If you don't want to be judged, moral standards or otherwise, then don't post on a public forum.

[Darnell 8,478]

HELLO. I AM THE ORIGINAL POSTER.

Forgive my lack of knowledge on how to use this site. I am apparently in the wrong topic and I Don't know if this reply will reach anyone.

In any case, I should have specified that I am not looking for a moral beating. This man and I are in a strange situation. You do not know the emotions or people involved. I was trying to state it as plainly as possible. I see now that I missed out on including some information necessary for help, but you are all simply harping on the ethics involved.

If someone can provide actual advice that does not involve the morals involved, I thank you.

I invite you to study all of my replies to you , in your topic.

Focus solely on what I've written. Then come back in a bit, after you've mapped out your plan, let us know what your new plan is, and we can perhaps assist you with punching holes in your new plan or vetting your new plan.

Your Choice.