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We Are a Perfect Match, But... Did We Meet Too Late? Please Help!

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infoplease Newbie

infoplease   0

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Filed: Timeline
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Hello everyone,

I am in a strange situation. Several months ago, I met a really great guy and since then, we have really connected, so much so that we can see a future together.

However, the major issue we have is that, before he met me, he had been dating another girl for two years. Please keep in mind that she is American and he is not. Five months ago, this girl asked him if he'd want to take the next step with her in life and, having no other plans in that department, he agreed. As he is a foreigner, paperwork started then and they are now legally married. It's not just an issue of being with the wrong girl and meeting the right one afterwards. It's a mess of legal issues pertaining to green cards, etc. Neither he nor I expected to meet and have such a connection. I feel there is no way that he and I can alter the situation and be together.

Is this true? I hope so much that it isn't!

Does anyone else have any experience with this? We mean no ill will and we in no way wish to disobey the system. We just met at the wrong time and this is heartbreaking for me. Is there no way we might have a future together?

Please help!!

Thank you.

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WaitingStill
WaitingStill

You are correct. There is no (good) way for you two to be together. Let his relationship with his wife play out, and don't get involved. Forget the legal issues. No matter what they are, they can be h

Solomon&Anne
Solomon&Anne

Sorry this might sound rude but if he was with this other girl for 2 years and married her and then he is in a relationship with you for a few months...you need to look at the whole picture....dont yo

NigeriaorBust
NigeriaorBust

Meeting a man that is in a long term relationship and playing around does not make for a good future. A man that is a player doesn't just get "better" overnight. He is at a stage where EVERY new sex

Lynkali Community Regular

Lynkali   163

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Finland
 Timeline
Posted

So ... you're dating someone who is currently married to an American and going through the CR-1 process with them? Or is he living in the USA already and going through Adjustment of Status? Obviously in either case, he needs to divorce his current spouse right away.

I also should clarify: you are a USA citizen, correct, living in the USA?

I think it matters how far along in the process he is, so you'll need to know that. If he already has his conditional or permanent green card, it's fairly straightforward to get a divorce and then he is free to marry. (I think -- someone please correct me if I'm wrong, or what red flags this would be for the OP's situation.)

If he does not yet have his green card and has only just started the AOS process, then the situation is MUCH more complicated and I wouldn't know what to advise. It sounds like quite a mess, no offense intended.

I suspect that this post will get moved to another subsection -- it doesn't appear to have anything to do with a K-1 fiance visa unless he is currently living abroad.

Relationship since April 2006

K-1 Visa: I-129F filed November 6, 2012, NOA2 May 17, 2013, Interview and Approval July 24, 2013

POE San Diego, September 13, 2013, Wedding October 25, 2013

AOS filed November 19, 2013, EAD/AP received January 30, 2014, interview and AOS Approval on February 27, 2014.

ROC filed December 3, 2015, NOA1 12/4/15, Biometrics 12/31/15, ROC Approval on June 16, 2016, 10-Year Green Card received June 22, 2016.

N400 filed September 14, 2023, same day acceptance and Biometric Reuse notice, Interview on 2/13/24: Passed and same day oath. ALL DONE WITH USCIS.

No RFE at any stage, thanks to VisaJourney!

Detailed Timeline Below!

 

Relationship:
2006 April 01: Met online, music site, 2007 February 20: Met in person, Finland, 2007 - 2012 met several times in Finland and California

K-1 Visa:
2012 November 06: Sent I-129F (NOA1 on 11/9/2012)
2013 May 14: Contacted Congressman
2013 May 17: I-129F NOA2 Approved
2013 June 03: NVC Received (NVC left 6/6/13)
2013 June 10: Consulate Received, 2013 June 13: Medical, 2013 June 25: Sent Packet 3/4
2013 July 24: Interview in Helsinki, 2013 July 27: Visa Received
2013 September 13: POE to USA, San Diego

AOS:
2013 October 22: SSN Received
2013 October 25: Wedding, San Marcos, CA
2013 November 19: AOS, AP, EAD sent (NOA 1 on 11/22/13)
2013 December 17: Biometrics, San Marcos, CA, 2013 December 24: Online status changed to Testing/Interview

2014 January 23: Interview notice mailed (for 2/27), 2014 January 24: EAD card production, AP approval (card received 1/30/2014)

2014 February 27: Interview and Approval, GC in production (card received March 6, 2014)

 

ROC:

2015 December 03: mailed I-751 package

2015 December 04: NOA1 extension letter, 2015 December 31: Biometrics appointment

2016 June 16: Approval - Online status changed to Document Production, mailed 6/20/16

2016 June 22: 10-Year Green Card Received, done with USCIS for a while!

 

N-400 Citizenship:

2023 September 14: filed N-400 online

2023 September 14: same day acceptance notice and "Biometrics Reuse" notice

2023 December 28: notice of interview scheduled for February 13, 2024

2024 February 13: naturalization interview (five-year rule) passed, same day oath - now a US Citizen and done with USCIS!

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Ontarkie Grand Master

Ontarkie   13,917

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

~~~~Move to General Immigration-Related Discussion, from K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures - As this is not a K1 Topic and many things need to be explored before any path can be taken. ~~~~

Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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Ebunoluwa Veteran

Ebunoluwa   6,136

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Cyprus
 Timeline
Posted

Not enough detailed information given to give advice. Please answer the questions Lynkali has asked you.

Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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Boiler Grand Master

Boiler   43,436

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
 Timeline
Posted

Sounds like the first step is a divorce lawyer.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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WaitingStill Explorer

WaitingStill   24

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Ukraine
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You are correct. There is no (good) way for you two to be together. Let his relationship with his wife play out, and don't get involved. Forget the legal issues. No matter what they are, they can be handled 99.5% of the time. If you were meant to be together, it will happen in time. But you can't begin a successful relationship by destroying one that came before it.

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CarlaDave Enthusiast

CarlaDave   27

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Scotland
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You are correct. There is no (good) way for you two to be together. Let his relationship with his wife play out, and don't get involved. Forget the legal issues. No matter what they are, they can be handled 99.5% of the time. If you were meant to be together, it will happen in time. But you can't begin a successful relationship by destroying one that came before it.

^This!

I was waiting for someone to address the elephant in the room.

#1 He was already involved with someone else

#2 He married HER

Sorry if that sounds harsh but I feel horrible for the wife.

Have you even met IRL or is this an online thing?

315oax2.jpg

Click "SHOW" for detailed VWP to AOS timeline

ny9pq0.png

rr8i2o.png

vevwp4.png

sljo7d.png

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Darnell Grand Master

Darnell   8,478

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

The legal mess of 'green cards, etc' really has to be sorted, and sorted out.

If he already has a green card,

then he is already in the USA

and

IMO, he's trying to 'swap up' to the next lass that has more money.

Truly, that is only my opinion, though. Do you want to be 'the next lass that has more money' ?

Edited by Darnell

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

-=-=-=-=-=R E A D ! ! !=-=-=-=-=-

Whoa Nelly ! Want NVC Info? see http://www.visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/NVC_Process

Congratulations on your approval ! We All Applaud your accomplishment with Most Wonderful Kissies !

 

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Darnell Grand Master

Darnell   8,478

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China
 Timeline
Posted

More stuff - apologies, I suffered a time out on the edit...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

The legal mess of 'green cards, etc' really has to be sorted, and sorted out.

If he already has a green card,

then he is already in the USA

and

IMO, he's trying to 'swap up' to the next lass that has more money.

Truly, that is only my opinion, though. Do you want to be 'the next lass that has more money' ?

-------------

Edit - more stuff.

After reading your post 4 times, for content - here's what I've sussed out:

1. Said foreigner came into USA on either tourist visa or VWP.

2. Said foreigner married that lass in USA.

3. Said foreigner and his wife filed for adjustment of status, leading to green card issuance.

4. Green card was issued

5. You met him, fell in love and want to be with him forever.

Legally, since he already has a green card,

he is free to divorce his current wife

and

marry you

without any USCIS issues.

He'll have some problems for the 'removal of conditions' phase of his green card issuance, but those are not insurmountable.

No, I'm not going to answer further questions. You've just joined VJ, I invite you to use the advanced search tool, and 'be a reader' !

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

-=-=-=-=-=R E A D ! ! !=-=-=-=-=-

Whoa Nelly ! Want NVC Info? see http://www.visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/NVC_Process

Congratulations on your approval ! We All Applaud your accomplishment with Most Wonderful Kissies !

 

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ndu26 Proficient

ndu26   114

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
 Timeline
Posted

Interesting topic; he is married to her but he was meant for me?blink.png

GOD has been WONDERFUL!!!
CR-1 (for Husband):
09/15/2012: Got Married
09/26/2012: Mailed I-130 from Nigeria( delayed by customs)
USCIS stage ( 66 days)
10/12/2012: NOA 1
12/17/2012: NOA 2 (case was transferred to NYC office 11/27/12)
NVC stage ( 20 days)
01/08/2013: Case # and IIN assigned ( file arrived NVC mail room 12/20/12)
01/09/2013: AOS invoiced and paid, DS-3032 emailed and mailed.
01/16/2013: IV invoiced &paid. AOS & IV mailed in one package(arrived 01/18).
01/28/2013: Case complete!!!
04/19/2013: Interview; APPROVED!!!!!
05/13/2013: POE; JFK

N-400: (3 months and 12 days)
Filed N-400 : 2011-06-17
Interview: 2011-09-27
Oath Ceremony: 2011-09-30

IR-5 for Mom Entire process took 5 months exactly
USCIS (22days)
mailed I-130 : 2011-09-30
NOA 1: 2011-10-03 (text & email)
NOA 2: 2011-10-25 (text and email)
NVC: (19 days)
Case entered and # assigned: 2011-11-18
NVC Case COMPLETED: 2011-12-07 ( 43 days from NOA 2 and 65 days from NOA 1)
Interview Date(Lagos): 2012-01- 23 Mom was late for interview
New Interview date: 2012-02-29 : VISA APPROVED

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Darnell Grand Master

Darnell   8,478

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China
 Timeline
Posted

nah ! Tempus Fugit !

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

-=-=-=-=-=R E A D ! ! !=-=-=-=-=-

Whoa Nelly ! Want NVC Info? see http://www.visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/NVC_Process

Congratulations on your approval ! We All Applaud your accomplishment with Most Wonderful Kissies !

 

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canadian_wife Grand Master

canadian_wife   1,791

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

Are you a US citizen? Where is he now?

I understand that you are 'connected' but this is a married man and you have only known each other for a few months. Proceed with caution.

If you are interested in immigration information, you need to provide more details about his stataus, your status, etc

good luck

USCIS
August 12, 2008 - petition sent
August 16, 2008 - NOA-1
February 10, 2009 - NOA-2
178 DAYS FROM NOA-1

NVC
February 13, 2009 - NVC case number assigned
March 12, 2009 - Case Complete
25 DAY TRIP THROUGH NVC

Medical
May 4, 2009

Interview
May, 26, 2009

POE - June 20, 2009 Toronto - Atlanta, GA

Removal of Conditions
Filed - April 14, 2011
Biometrics - June 2, 2011 (early)
Approval - November 9, 2011
209 DAY TRIP TO REMOVE CONDITIONS

Citizenship

April 29, 2013 - NOA1 for petition received

September 10, 2013 Interview - decision could not be made.

April 15, 2014 APPROVED. Wait for oath ceremony

Waited...

September 29, 2015 - sent letter to senator.

October 16, 2015 - US Citizen

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Solomon&Anne Explorer

Solomon&Anne   29

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
 Timeline
  • Popular Post
Posted

Sorry this might sound rude but if he was with this other girl for 2 years and married her and then he is in a relationship with you for a few months...you need to look at the whole picture....dont you think when they first met they really connected they wanted to be together forever...this is what happens when you first fall in love...But the thing about love is you dont just discard it for the next hot thing on the block....Love is hard and time consuming....I know It will be a hassle legally if he divorces but if its meant to be anything is possible....Just keep in mind what he is doing to his wife put yourself in her shoes how would you feel if he was cheating on you because if he is cheating on her its just a matter of time and you will be the next wife in line for a divorce... just sayin

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bigdog Veteran

bigdog   376

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: China
 Timeline
Posted

Have him straighten out his life and then see what transpires.

In Arizona its hot hot hot.

http://www.uscis.gov/dateCalculator.html

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Pitaya Grand Master

Pitaya   2,576

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: China
 Timeline
Posted

Have him straighten out his life and then see what transpires.

good.gif

Completed: K1/K2 (271 days) - AOS/EAD/AP (134 days) - ROC (279 days)

"Si vis amari, ama" - Seneca

 

 

 

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