I dont understand

[little_dreamer 11]

wow!!! WHAT A JERK!!!!! > Tell him to get his s*** and get the hell out....I wouldnt even hesitate and I would tape him next tme he talks like that....just for evidence just in case.....

where is he from if you dont mind me asking?!

[Cathi 5,621]

OP, pull the plug now. DO NOT "HELP" THIS MAN ANOTHER SECOND. Besides all the self-esteem issues running through my head because of the mere thought of helping this man, do you really want to be on the financial hook for this scum for the next 10 years?!?!? He could financially damage you, and I PROMISE you, he's not going to give one flying piece of doo doo!

she won;t be on the hook, an I-864 was never filed and an I-134 is not enforcable

[VanessaTony 3,567]

she won;t be on the hook, an I-864 was never filed and an I-134 is not enforcable

She's not NOW but her OP suggests refiling to "help" him with his GC (but she's worried about lying about their relationship etc) and if she does go through with it she WILL be on the hook. I believe that's what the poster you responded to was talking about.

[erynaught 43]

Vanessa&Tony - you got it right on the K1! Been there and can tell you that after consulting 100s 'immigration' attorneys, only about 15% understand the statutory prohibition against a K1 adjusting status with anyone other than the sponsor - (or they're bullshitting to garner additional fees.)

OP needs to wake up and get some self-esteem. Very concerned with how far this nut job is willing to go to get her to 'help' him - best to get him out of the picture as quickly as possible, divorce later in absentia. There's nothing needed from this guy other than the sound of his feet running away. Having the gullibility and stupidity to continue to 'help' him then OP probably deserves the hell it will put her through.

[Artham 0]

This guy is selfish and donesn't deserve what you're doing for him, I'm a man and I can't find no reason to defend him, kick him away.

[Villanelle 4,121]

Ok looking at this with a clear head I see where I went wrong.

The K1 can only adjust through the person that sponsored them, it doesnt mean that thats the only way they can adjust ever. Its the only way they adjust in the US when they were admitted on the K1.

I had thought that once they had expired (similar to other visas) you were out of status- kind of 'illegal' and you would be eligible to adjust status in the US through other means whether its family based or employment based. But reviewing Vanessas link proves that untrue. Theres special provisions for K visas. A K visa holder can adjust other then through the petitioner but they have to do through through a foreign embassy. So they really wouldnt even be a K visa holder any more once they leave.

So I guess the husband could marry someone else in the US. Hang around living off of them for a few months- because hes got no work auth. Theyd have to file the overseas CR1 for him with a foreign address because he can not adjust in the US. Hed have to leave the US to attend the interview over there. Hed need a waiver because of his overstay. When the CR1 is approved Im sure he'll promptly return to the US and ditch the new spouse. Everyones saying hes not going to be able to get the CR1 approved or hes going to have a tough time but Im not so sure. His story is going to be completely different then hers. His story is going to be I came to the US and my wife cheated on me, she kicked me out, she wouldnt file AOS for me she did and then she took it back, she was abusive, unstable, crazy. I met a wonderful woman while I was there and fell in love. We lived together for months, we have proof, we are now married and in love and have statements from people and a joint lease. My ex is bitter and crazy and wants me back. Most married people are approved.

Hes coming back to her because its easier and quicker. He doesnt have to woo or scam anyone else. Going through someone else will get him the GC but hes already invested so much into her.

The only other thing I could think of is for him to file a false VAWA claim so the OP should never be alone with him from this point forward, so he has no opportunity to claim abuse or file false reports against her.

[CRAKZOR 4]

illegal.

[aaron2020 11,651]

How much more mental abuse are you going to take?

Don't you realize you are being used?

Why would you even consider committing immigration fraud for someone who clearly does not and has never love you?

IfI you help him, then you have only yourself to blame because now you are letting him abuse you. Don't blame him for the abuse. Blame yourself if you help him.

Get a divorce and get rid of him.

Edited February 8, 2013 by aaron2020

[Sirdaniel42 86]

If you remain married to a person solely for the purpose of obtaining an immigration benefit from the US Government, then YOU are breaking the laws of the United States. Only you can decide if that is how you wish to live your life.

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

I know this appears to be my first post on this forum but it is not. I started a new account due to keeping my privacy intact. Here is my story, my husband came here, we got married. He left during the initial stages of the immigration process, He was just gone, I didnt know where he was or anything. After multiple threats to my situation and his own immigration status and lawyer's advise they advised me to cancel my sponsorship. Well, I did that and of course a few weeks later he comes back and I feel bad and immediately send and letter to USCIS saying i do not want to cancel, well what happened was they never opened the letter and we got denied. I paid for an appeal with my lawyer and the appeal got denied also. In that time my husband was in and out of the house. I am not totally blaming him for all the issues that would be unfair. It has been so rocky, but yet once again I gave it another try because truly I do love him. We decided we would do his while immigration status over. Of course since he feels it is all my fault because i cancelled the first time (not recognizing that i attempted to stop it) he says well i have to pay for it all again myself. Maybe I am stupid but i agreed, so we started the paperwork again. Well here we are and he tells me the marriage isnt going to work but would still like me to do his paperwork, to "help him". He wants to postpone the divorce until he gets his green card. He tells me If i am a good person I will do this and help him because i Have messed up his life. At first I feel guilty and think well maybe he is right, and my lawyer fills the paperwork out but also cautions me that there will be an interview and I need to realize that it will be hard to prove a bonafide marriage when we are not living together. He says he will do it because he is trying to understand why i feel the need to help, but I should really think about it. I then say to my husband i do not know if I can stay in a fake marriage for his status for many reasons. Some of the reasons are, how do i move on, it is illegal, and I really wanted a marriage not an arrangement. He then says well if you help me maybe i will work on the marriage with you, but first I need proof that you have filed my status. I sit here confused because I do feel guilty, I just dont know what to do. While i am thinking of all this and trying to clear my head and make the best decision he then tells me listen if you are going to do it do it now if not divorce me so I can marry another woman to do my status. I was shocked, not sure why, but i was. I asked my lawyer if this is possible and he said yes. This whole situation has me sick to my stomach. It is affecting every aspect of my life.

Confused: he is using you! And he NEVER LOVED YOU! Ever! He wanted to get his green card so he could stay! That's exactly why is also disappeared. He was off chasing girls! And you did right to stop the procedure at the first place, but sorry to say, you are stupid if you agree to help him now. Don't file for him again! Just tell him to move on and solve his issue. No emotions that you feel bad bla bla bla! You should feel bad for something else:

1. if you in the future truly fall in love with someone who loves you actually not like this guy, and want to live with you for the rest of his life and have kids with you, you are going to make it impossible for that guy to immigrate here because you'll have a record at USCIS that you have already previously sponsored someone whom you divorced afterwards --> alas, they won't believe you that the relationship is bona fide and you'll actually going to screw up the person who will in the future want to have a family with you. What is he going to say? "No problem, because you committed fraud, I'll just be at home and well be pen pals? Come on! Be rationale, and not a follow his advice like some sort of teenager who fell in love with their teacher...

2. you, yourself, creating a record of your own. Do you want to run around as a citizen that you have a record for immigration fraud?

3. All these people on this forum who truly want to live with other person that they have chose as a spouse have a hard time already due to exactly for couples like you guys! Don't make their situation harder!

So, please, don't file for this dude. He is the biggest jerk ever! And too bad you were so blind to fall in love with someone who never loved you, but just wanted to get his green card. If you file, many of us will be quiet upset because you are hardening "our" situation. Come on! Just kick him out and move on! There are plenty of good people around the world who will love you unconditionally forever! They will want to have their future with you. And if the person will be a foreign citizen he won't ever be able to fulfill his dream with you, no matter what, because you committed an immigration fraud in the past. Come on, lady!

[TnJ 131]

"he then tells me listen if you are going to do it do it now if not divorce me so I can marry another woman to do my status."

This seems to be clear as day. The man wants to commit fraud with your assistance. It would be easier with you because you have established an emotional attachment thereby allowing him to manipulate you. Hence, your feelings of guilt. You have no reason to feel guilty unless you participate and become his patsy. He obviously isn't hiding the fact that he will work on another mind to do the job if you aren't up to it. Your situation sucks, and I am sorry to hear about it. I would get out while I could rather than dig the hole deeper.

[Cathi 5,621]

She's not NOW but her OP suggests refiling to "help" him with his GC (but she's worried about lying about their relationship etc) and if she does go through with it she WILL be on the hook. I believe that's what the poster you responded to was talking about.

yeah, either way the OP needs to get rid of him. As I stated on the first page, what he is suggesting is fraud, and lying will bring severe consequences down the road. I'm curious to know what country her husband is from...

[sherryandyashpal 7]

I know this appears to be my first post on this forum but it is not. I started a new account due to keeping my privacy intact. Here is my story, my husband came here, we got married. He left during the initial stages of the immigration process, He was just gone, I didnt know where he was or anything. After multiple threats to my situation and his own immigration status and lawyer's advise they advised me to cancel my sponsorship. Well, I did that and of course a few weeks later he comes back and I feel bad and immediately send and letter to USCIS saying i do not want to cancel, well what happened was they never opened the letter and we got denied. I paid for an appeal with my lawyer and the appeal got denied also. In that time my husband was in and out of the house. I am not totally blaming him for all the issues that would be unfair. It has been so rocky, but yet once again I gave it another try because truly I do love him. We decided we would do his while immigration status over. Of course since he feels it is all my fault because i cancelled the first time (not recognizing that i attempted to stop it) he says well i have to pay for it all again myself. Maybe I am stupid but i agreed, so we started the paperwork again. Well here we are and he tells me the marriage isnt going to work but would still like me to do his paperwork, to "help him". He wants to postpone the divorce until he gets his green card. He tells me If i am a good person I will do this and help him because i Have messed up his life. At first I feel guilty and think well maybe he is right, and my lawyer fills the paperwork out but also cautions me that there will be an interview and I need to realize that it will be hard to prove a bonafide marriage when we are not living together. He says he will do it because he is trying to understand why i feel the need to help, but I should really think about it. I then say to my husband i do not know if I can stay in a fake marriage for his status for many reasons. Some of the reasons are, how do i move on, it is illegal, and I really wanted a marriage not an arrangement. He then says well if you help me maybe i will work on the marriage with you, but first I need proof that you have filed my status. I sit here confused because I do feel guilty, I just dont know what to do. While i am thinking of all this and trying to clear my head and make the best decision he then tells me listen if you are going to do it do it now if not divorce me so I can marry another woman to do my status. I was shocked, not sure why, but i was. I asked my lawyer if this is possible and he said yes. This whole situation has me sick to my stomach. It is affecting every aspect of my life.

Im sure you are confused and hurt and in love and not sure what to do.. but I'm telling you, let him go, you deserve better than this. I usually dont offer advice specifically but he is using your goodness as a person to make his situation better and could care less about you. Your post really got to me because I dont know you but I HATE the idea of people being taken advantage of. I really am hoping you will find the strength to cut him loose, this isnt right either legally or fair to you. Either way I wish the best for you and BELIEVE me you deserve better than this.

Take care,

Sherry

[Kazulie 132]

she won;t be on the hook, an I-864 was never filed and an I-134 is not enforcable

I know she is not on the hook NOW, I stated to stop the process now so that she doesn't become resposnible for him in the FUTURE.

[pddp 240]

OP, it's clear that you have dangerously low self esteem and deep within, consider your self-worth to be extremely low- otherwise you wouldn't allow other people to use and abuse you in this way. I'm so sorry you feel this way, I know you are wonderful and unique individual with much to contribute to this world. I hope you can learn to see yourself in a more positive light, and I promise that once you do, your life will be full of joy. There is a part of you that KNOWS you have to leave this man and everything he represents, listen to that voice. Everything will turn out all right.

Edited February 8, 2013 by pddp