Need advice

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

It appears to me that you are not a good match (anymore).

If you want to continue this marriage, give her a chance and hope she will come back.

If you don't want to put up with this any longer, file for divorce.

[Cathi 5,610]

Almost two years. She gave up a good paying job, sold her home and made a little equity enough to buy a car.

She is a mature women with class, she has a degree in mental health. I know I am not perfect I want to save

the marriage but not at my expence. I felt everything was perfect until a month or more before the interview.

When she drove put me shock and rocked my world

I hate to sound harsh, but a mature woman with class does not stay out all night drinking. She is using you, if you can;t see it you are blind. . It;s obvious what her motives are, I don;t think you need a bunch of strangers on the internet to state the obvious. People here gave their opinions and you say you want to save the marriage. Why even bother asking for advice if you have already made up your mind?

[Dave + Loni 10]

I recommend you consult a lawyer right away, get his advice first. think about what you want and what you need. Then when you have all the facts and advice make your best decision on what to do. You can't undo what is done, you can move on you can make a better future for yourself. don't worry about how it impacts her worry about yourself for now. it's your life make the best of it.

[Shiobhan 235]

OP U referred to her as your visa wife and that she is....this woman is selfish, a user who will only keep U on that short leash until U R used up. In life everyone get used its call taking care of each other in a commitment , but nno-one should sit around and get used up, no counselling will help she has made up her mind. I'd file

for a divorce and inform uscis and let the chips fall where it may, also close your accts and get new ones, with this kind of woman I would record some of her

goings on and rid myself her quickly She never loved U

[tazzie 6]

Close you bank account NOW !!!!!! before its too late. I love shopping but would never take money from my husband's account unless he agreed. It's a partnership and if she is being part of that then maybe it's time to say see ya later. But in saying that I know how hard this situation would be, hope wisdom prevails and the situation has a good outcome for you.

[r and m 0]

stop lieing and telling your self this might work i was in the same position your in and at the end i filed divorced look she is cheating on you and i bet she seeing someone and she is just usining you for your papers and money.look the best advice accept the fact that the relationship is not meant to be you cant force no one to be with you or love you if they dont want to so move on file a divorce and hire a lawyer so she can get deported or believe me you gota nightmare in your hands if you dont

[PuppyLove 24]

I have been married 10 months to my visa wife. I put her on my bank account and had 15,000 dollars. At first it was bliss but then

she never seems to be happy unless she was shopping. I know she misses her family a lot and I would always console her when she cried.

To start a fresh beginning we decided to tour the state for a new home and move. At first it was alright,sharing in the newness of the

city, taking hikes. But once again she became sad and became critical. She would stay on her computer for hours or run off to go shopping

The bank account is now down to 5000 dollars 6 months later. If we got into a conformation, some of them I think she would purposely start,

she would take off for hours. One night I woke up at 12:00 to find that she was gone and did not come home until 10:00 am that morning.

She has began fabricating stories and making everything my fault. Even the night before she got her green card she played the I'm moving

home card and left for the night. I got a phone call to meet her at a hotel room that was near our capital 30 miles away. She was approved

and received her conditional green card. She started looking for work and got a job. The Saturday before she was to start work I came home

from A Homeless Ministry and found her car pack with everything she owned including her cat and dog. 2 days later she transferred 1200 dollars

a personal account she set up. A week later she was back in the home. That lasted a week until once again she threatened to move. She had

been drinking so I told her she could not drive. She walked off at 8:00 and told me to leave her alone.

I don't know what to think she rented a home on the other side of town and she says she does not want a divorce nor couples counselling.

Do you think its possible then that she has a shopping addiction? I'm not trying to be in favor of her or on her side, but I thought maybe you should try looking at different angles other than just simple scam (little strange for me seeing she is a UK national but not impossible of course). Its possible she has problems coping with her emotions (turning to entertainment on the Internet, shopping thrills, and drinking) and also feels guilty about her actions and in denial (blaming you instead of herself). It can also be a reason why she doesn't want couple's counseling (having to confront her issues and admit she is the one at fault) and why she wants to work on her own to pay for her problem instead of draining your finances even further. If she was really scamming you would she keep walking out so much on her money source and get her own job? Only you can think about your situation and all the details that you know and see if this side is possible or if you do think its immigration scam. Its up to you to decide how your relationship was for those years and how it is now. If you think she may be having problems with coping and dealing with her own issues in life then and you love her then by all means get her into counseling with you and/or alone. But if it seems to you that its really all about ripping you off then let go of her and go for divorce. Its a big decision so I understand why you wanted "strangers'" advice. You have a lot to think about.

Btw if you are able to connect with her family, try contacting them about her behavior. If you are wondering if she has some emotional problems they would be the ones to help you figure that one out.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Do you think its possible then that she has a shopping addiction? I'm not trying to be in favor of her or on her side, but I thought maybe you should try looking at different angles other than just simple scam (little strange for me seeing she is a UK national but not impossible of course). Its possible she has problems coping with her emotions (turning to entertainment on the Internet, shopping thrills, and drinking) and also feels guilty about her actions and in denial (blaming you instead of herself). It can also be a reason why she doesn't want couple's counseling (having to confront her issues and admit she is the one at fault) and why she wants to work on her own to pay for her problem instead of draining your finances even further. If she was really scamming you would she keep walking out so much on her money source and get her own job? Only you can think about your situation and all the details that you know and see if this side is possible or if you do think its immigration scam. Its up to you to decide how your relationship was for those years and how it is now. If you think she may be having problems with coping and dealing with her own issues in life then and you love her then by all means get her into counseling with you and/or alone. But if it seems to you that its really all about ripping you off then let go of her and go for divorce. Its a big decision so I understand why you wanted "strangers'" advice. You have a lot to think about.

Btw if you are able to connect with her family, try contacting them about her behavior. If you are wondering if she has some emotional problems they would be the ones to help you figure that one out.

Yes not impossible as you said. My Ex is British and a total fraud.

[Dana and Divine 61]

Objectively, it does not matter she does not want counseling or a divorce. What matters is what YOU want. If you want a divorce get one and move on with your life. IMHO she is using all the possible excuses she can to stay away from you and remain married so as not to lose her green card.

Take your life back and move on.

I so agree! And since she wants her freedom so badly...let her support herself. Take her name off of your bank account! She has used you to get where she wants to be. You don't owe her anything. Very disrespectful! Praying for you!

[Darnell 8,478]

I think a shopping addiction can be replaced by a sex addiction,

so do what it takes for the two of you to have coitus 5 or 6 times a day....

(no, I'm not being snarky)

I do have one observation, though - I think she's torqued that you not apply for the EAD with the I-485, and she's been acting out about it, ever since.

[Oneness 17]

I have been married 10 months to my visa wife. I put her on my bank account and had 15,000 dollars. At first it was bliss but then

she never seems to be happy unless she was shopping. I know she misses her family a lot and I would always console her when she cried.

To start a fresh beginning we decided to tour the state for a new home and move. At first it was alright,sharing in the newness of the

city, taking hikes. But once again she became sad and became critical. She would stay on her computer for hours or run off to go shopping

The bank account is now down to 5000 dollars 6 months later. If we got into a conformation, some of them I think she would purposely start,

she would take off for hours. One night I woke up at 12:00 to find that she was gone and did not come home until 10:00 am that morning.

She has began fabricating stories and making everything my fault. Even the night before she got her green card she played the I'm moving

home card and left for the night. I got a phone call to meet her at a hotel room that was near our capital 30 miles away. She was approved

and received her conditional green card. She started looking for work and got a job. The Saturday before she was to start work I came home

from A Homeless Ministry and found her car pack with everything she owned including her cat and dog. 2 days later she transferred 1200 dollars

a personal account she set up. A week later she was back in the home. That lasted a week until once again she threatened to move. She had

been drinking so I told her she could not drive. She walked off at 8:00 and told me to leave her alone.

I don't know what to think she rented a home on the other side of town and she says she does not want a divorce nor couples counselling.

Well I went over her house today ... I need to get on with my life. OUCH!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Well I went over her house today ... I need to get on with my life. OUCH!

What happened? You don't have to say if you don't want to but I suspect it didn't go well

[Oneness 17]

My K1-visa wife moved out and now got her own place after we have only been married for 11 months.

The night before the interview she told me for the fifth time and drove off for the night. I got a phone call

to meet her at a hotel room that was near our capital 30 miles away. She was approved and received her

conditional green card in july. She started work two weeks ago. The Saturday before she was to start work

I came home from a Homeless Ministry and found her car pack with everything she owned including her cat

and dog. Two days later she transferred 1200.00 dollars to her new personal account she set up. We got back

together and that lasted for a week when she is moved to the other side of town. I have been a gentleman all

week. She verbally says she wants to stayed married but separated. I do not want her in the states if we get a

divorce. I was thinking to give her until January 1 to chill and figure her out.

How long do I have to divorce her to take her green card? … I need advice. What do I say what do I do?

[/size][/size]

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

If she has a green card in hand it is her decision if she wants to stay in the USA or leave. You are also bond by the affidavit of support you sign until she becomes a USC , leaves permanently , you die, she dies or she works 40 quarters. It is out of your hands at this point. Next time get to know your future spouse.

[Oneness 17]

If she has a green card in hand it is her decision if she wants to stay in the USA or leave. You are also bond by the affidavit of support you sign until she becomes a USC , leaves permanently , you die, she dies or she works 40 quarters. It is out of your hands at this point. Next time get to know your future spouse.

IT'S CONDITIONAL