How do I get out of this?

[quandry 0]

In February, I married a man from Mexico. There is a huge age difference between us (I'm older), but I believed it was "for real." Shortly afterwards, there was an incident in which he hit me. This happened more than once. He decided it was my fault that he was this way and ended our romantic relationship, saying he wanted to date other women. We have a business together and I didn't want to lose his expertise. We had our immigration interview last week ~ it was traumatic for me, knowing his intentions and being under oath. I did not lie to immigration, but I don't feel good about the situation. The day I picked up the letter from USCIS, I called my husband to tell him our marriage petition had been approved. He received the news while with the woman he's been seeing the past six months (I just discovered this). This whole situation is far too morally muddy for me, but in the past I've shot myself in the foot for taking the moral high road. I'm afraid if I try to divorce him, he'll either destroy the business or me. It's making me sick and I don't see a way out that doesn't get me into trouble. Even though I didn't lie to immigration, they may not see it that way ... I went into this in good faith but can't continue living like this. How do I get out? PS: The business has paid him all year and I have no money. Stupid me, I know. Just help me get out safely.

[C-ma'am 684]

**Moved from K1 to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits as the post can be best addressed in this forum.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Sorry, but you are lying and committing fraud. You can lie by leaving out relevant information like the lack of a real viable marriage.

The key requirement for a spousal visa is a Nina fuse marriage. You do not have a bona fide marriage at this point. Your husband has already ended your romantic relationship to be with other women.

Seems you are in a real pickle. Your situation is pretty complicated and may be beyond the scope of an online community to help. You need to talk to a lawyer who can advise you on immigration, business, and divorce if you want.

Y

[TracyTN 237]

In February, I married a man from Mexico. There is a huge age difference between us (I'm older), but I believed it was "for real." Shortly afterwards, there was an incident in which he hit me. This happened more than once. He decided it was my fault that he was this way and ended our romantic relationship, saying he wanted to date other women. We have a business together and I didn't want to lose his expertise. We had our immigration interview last week ~ it was traumatic for me, knowing his intentions and being under oath. I did not lie to immigration, but I don't feel good about the situation. The day I picked up the letter from USCIS, I called my husband to tell him our marriage petition had been approved. He received the news while with the woman he's been seeing the past six months (I just discovered this). This whole situation is far too morally muddy for me, but in the past I've shot myself in the foot for taking the moral high road. I'm afraid if I try to divorce him, he'll either destroy the business or me. It's making me sick and I don't see a way out that doesn't get me into trouble. Even though I didn't lie to immigration, they may not see it that way ... I went into this in good faith but can't continue living like this. How do I get out? PS: The business has paid him all year and I have no money. Stupid me, I know. Just help me get out safely.

First of all - where are you in the immigration process. You say your 'marriage petition' has been approved, but that you had an interview. Typically, petitions are approved without an interview so I don't understand. Are you saying the VISA was approved? Or his green card? Please be specific.

If you're going to divorce him, I don't see why you'd care what immigration thinks of him (though that make more sense if I knew where you are in the process).

As far as the divorce goes, you need to seek help from an attorney who will protect you both in the divorce process and with the business. If you cannot afford an attorney, try Catholic Charities in your area. They also have immigration consultants who can help as well.

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

Get an attorney to file for divorce. Send the consulate, and USCIS/NVC written notice that you are divorcing and no longer wish to pursue the spousal visa and withdraw your I-864 immediately before he enters the US with his visa and gets his green card.

Edited October 4, 2012 by Jay-Kay

[dan_ling 6]

You married in February and he was seeing other women for 6 months, so he he was seeing other women when you got married? Do you have evidence that he was already cheating on you when you were married to report that the marriage was a sham. You are afraid of loosing him because you both have a business together yet he is receiving all of the money? It seems you are already in a loose loose situation and you need to get away from this guy before he hits you again and if he does I would file a police report and get a retraining order against him. I would also pull the I-864 as stated above.

I am so sorry you are in a bad relationship.

[jaycali 415]

What kind of immigration interview was this? CR-1 visa interview in Juarez or adjustment of status interview in San Francisco?

If it was a visa interview in Juarez and he has not yet entered the US, withdraw your I-864 immediately, before he enters the US.

If he already has been granted his green card, there is little you can do at this point except divorce him and report him to ICE for fraud, then hope he does not pass his removal of conditions interview in two years. Unfortunately, you're still legally financially responsible for him until he is removed or becomes a citizen.

Edited October 5, 2012 by jaejayC

[rkk1 34]

If he already has been granted his green card, there is little you can do at this point except divorce him and report him to ICE for fraud, then hope he does not pass his removal of conditions interview in two years. Unfortunately, you're still legally financially responsible for him until he is removed or becomes a citizen.

Wouldn't it actually be good for her if he passes his removal of conditions or gets the USC, so that he doesn't continue to be a charge on her?

[Ihavequestions 419]

Wouldn't it actually be good for her if he passes his removal of conditions or gets the USC, so that he doesn't continue to be a charge on her?

What if his appendix is about to burst and he's rushed into emergency surgery, uninsured, but the hospital kindly sends in a social worker to help him apply for government sponsored medical insurance to cover the cost of his treatment? The hospital, rightfully, wants to be paid, and the government has a signed sponsorship form in order to be reimbursed. So, who really pays for that hospital emergency?

No, it's better to prevent the potential for bankrupting the petitioner.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Emergency medicaid does, which is not a means tested benefit.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Emergency medicaid does, which is not a means tested benefit.

Emergency medicaid isn't approved for everyone, and it has a time limit. The time limit for pregnancy for example is the day of the "event" + 2 days (or nights.. can't remember which). So it can end up being expensive.

Edited October 9, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[quandry 0]

Thank you everyone for the excellent advice. I have notified immigration that I intend to apply for a divorce and that I am no longer financially responsible for him. That was great advice! You were all very helpful and kind. Thank you for your experience in helping me through what has been a difficult time. I appreciate the responses.