Petitioner doesn't want to get married

[frantick1 0]

Not sure that this is the right area of the forum, but here goes...

The bottom line is that I (the male, petitioner of a K1 and two K2 visas) no longer wish to get married to the K1 visa holder. She has been here 15 days and it is a disaster. On top of that I'm 58 and just (last Friday) lost my job of 8 years.

How can I best extricate myself from this situation?

Edited July 25, 2011 by frantick1

[belinda63 2,981]

I would first suggest giving it some time. Sounds like you are going from being single to having inherited an almost wife and two children. This is a really big change. On top of that you lost your employment which is additional stress you really didn't need right now. Also look at it from their side, having to adjust to you, a new home, a new country, etc. Lots of stress all the way around.

Your almost family can remain in the US for up to 90 days (check the I-94 in the passport). Can I recommend that you give it a little more time before giving up on the whole thing? They must leave prior to the expiration of the I-94 or they will be out of status. She and the children (most likely) can still adjust status at any time if she marries you and only you. Thus, if you delay things a bit, while she runs a risk of being discovered and placed in removal proceedings, if she marries you after the I-94 expires she can still adjust status. What she cannot do is marry someone else and adjust status from within the US.

A true gentleman would give it some time and a lot of talking and adapting to the situation and if all fails provide tickets back to the home country and part with her as friends.

[ZedbraGuy 6]

as I see it, if you dont marry within 90 days they will be here illegally, just like overstaying on a tourist visa. I'm not sure where you stand as far as getting them out of your house goes, but they do have to go home.

TBH I think this is one of the biggest risks of the K1 process, because moving in together isn't like a holiday, it's real from here on out; sometimes it doesnt work out

[Diazy 10]

Not sure that this is the right area of the forum, but here goes...

The bottom line is that I (the male, petitioner of a K1 and two K2 visas) no longer wish to get married to the K1 visa holder. She has been here 15 days and it is a disaster. On top of that I'm 58 and just (last Friday) lost my job of 8 years.

How can I best extricate myself from this situation?

Talk to your bride. Maybe you can solve some issues. She is coming from different country and she has her own habits, so she needs to adjust her life here and you need to adjust to having her and her kids here. Don't forget that she probably left everything in her home country to be with you.

If you don't want to get married, noone can force you to. Thus she would need to go back to her country.

[mystickal 8]

Don't feel pressured into situations like this. Do whatever you feel you need to do.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

If you do not get married within the 90-day time frame of her I-94, she will be out of status and unable to adjust status to that of a resident by any other means. She will be unable to get a driver's license and to work. Very few people would want to live like that; thus, she most likely would want to return home. If nothing, you owe her the money for the airline ticket.

[frantick1 0]

If you do not get married within the 90-day time frame of her I-94, she will be out of status and unable to adjust status to that of a resident by any other means. She will be unable to get a driver's license and to work. Very few people would want to live like that; thus, she most likely would want to return home. If nothing, you owe her the money for the airline ticket.

Of course, the airfare is not an issue... in fact it is already paid... the original tickets were purchased as round trip, and the return flights (for all three people) is this coming Friday, July 29.

But she won't go.

----

This brings up another layer of the discussion:

What legal responsibility do I have? Today? After 90 days?

I assume that I am legally bound to support them until the 90 days period is over; but beyond that, with being married? I don't know.

[mystickal 8]

Just Bob,

I noticed you won the GC lottery. What you mean you were not eligible?

[bigdog 376]

Not sure that this is the right area of the forum, but here goes...

The bottom line is that I (the male, petitioner of a K1 and two K2 visas) no longer wish to get married to the K1 visa holder. She has been here 15 days and it is a disaster. On top of that I'm 58 and just (last Friday) lost my job of 8 years.

How can I best extricate myself from this situation?

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Of course, the airfare is not an issue... in fact it is already paid... the original tickets were purchased as round trip, and the return flights (for all three people) is this coming Friday, July 29.

But she won't go.

----

This brings up another layer of the discussion:

What legal responsibility do I have? Today? After 90 days?

I assume that I am legally bound to support them until the 90 days period is over; but beyond that, with being married? I don't know.

You don't have any legal or financial responsibility either now or after 90 days. If you don't get married, then it is her responsibility to return home. I agree you should wait and see if you can work it out though. A lot of things happened in this past two weeks and it might be your gut instinct to run, but you may regret it later. You did agree to marry and put a lot of effort into bring her here for that purpose, after all. Good luck.

[bigdog 376]

My wife coming to USA gave up everything. it was hard for me without loosing my job. Be patient, talk come to a joint decision. Give it some time you have 90 days, get any decent job.

[sachinky 464]

What do you mean "she doesn't want to go back?" Without marriage, she has no option BUT to go back. If she overstays her I-94 without being married to you, she will be out-of-status and subject to deportation. Without adjusting her status to that of an LPR, she won't be able to work, drive or travel abroad. Live freely, in other words.

Apart from wishing her well, apologizing for the situation and giving her a ride to the airport, you have no other obligation. If you feel that marriage is not the right step for you at this time, do not be guilted or brow-beaten into it.

[san diego 407]

I agree that you have no obligation. However, personally, I feel this is sad. I mean, person did take a large step in coming here.. I do feel that you take larger responsibility when you file for K1. Responsibility for the person that is coming here. My feeling (only mine, personal), if you decide to send this person back and this person entered relationship with you in good faith you own them ticket back, ride to the airport and reimbursing any disruption that you caused in their lives, such as if they sold apartment you have to help them get it back.

[BSquared 9]

Just Bob,

I noticed you won the GC lottery. What you mean you were not eligible?

Check out his profile (on left side). It was because of his overstay.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Of course, the airfare is not an issue... in fact it is already paid... the original tickets were purchased as round trip, and the return flights (for all three people) is this coming Friday, July 29.

But she won't go.

----

This brings up another layer of the discussion:

What legal responsibility do I have? Today? After 90 days?

I assume that I am legally bound to support them until the 90 days period is over; but beyond that, with being married? I don't know.

Well July 29 is coming around early. She has no right to stay in your house because you're not married (if you were married you couldn't just kick her out). There is no legal responsibility to her, just moral.

If I were you I would call the police to have her removed. While in the presence of police I would give her the tickets, advise her of the date, pay for a hotel/motel while waiting for the flight and then if she doesn't catch it, you have proof you tried to do the right thing.

I'm sorry it didn't work out.