Annullment before green card processed

[kriola 0]

Hi, I thought I would share my experience here with everyone so that no one has to ever go through the same thing. I married my husband last August after his being here 1 week. Immediately after the wedding, we had our first argument over why he felt that he should send some of the money we got as a present, to his "ex" that he had two children with. He at first he told me that he had to sendmoney to his children, which I mistakenly believed was ALL his children (He has two older ones from a previous relationship. I would have almost let him except he messed up by mentioning his "ex". he ended up sending the money because I didn't feel like arguing anymore. My point had only been that this is something he should discuss with me, his wife, BEFORE making any financial decisions. It was OUR money.

The marriage had been rocky, he "all of a sudden" started displaying some pretty macho traits and behaviors that he apparently kept in check before we married. We met with immigration in March for his uinterview. By them he was already becoming distant and would always tell me that he's "just worried about his (younger) kids. He would get upset with me if I didn't let him call his ex to check on the kids. The thing was, I NEVER tried to stop him from checking on his kids. I just didn't understand why he could only talk to them on a calling card while he was out of the house. He would tell me that he had to send more money because his ex couldn't pay the rent or pay other utilities, etc, or that his children were starving. I made it very clear that I would always help him take care of his kids, but under no circumstances, was my husband going to "take care" of another woman. Mind you, he did not work for the first 8 months here, so yes, apparemntly, the money I was sending to ALL his kids was actually going toward taking care of her! Iput an immediate stop to it and yuo would have thought I had committed murder.

He received his EAD and found a job in April. Almost immediately, he came up with lots of excuses for why he didn't think he should help pay for the house, car, utilities, etc. He said they weren't his! He lived "for free" for 8 months and never once asked or wondered where the money came from. He never really asked about my job or pay. Everything was always there or done for him. WHy hsould he care? He became very upset and cancelled his direct deposit to our bank account because he felt I was spending all HIS money. I had spent money on groceries and paid bills. He then agreed to only put a couple of hundred a week to pay bills ( He took home about $900/week). I make much more money that him but he soon started calling me a "gold digger" and that I was only interested in HIS money. I only thought I was making sure that "my husband" took part in what I thought were OUR responsibilities!?!? He said he didn't come to America just to pay taxes and pay my bills. LOL!, I guess he's not a democrat! I paid for his passport, medical exams, clothes, visa, plane ride, 8 months of food and utilities in addition to sending money to his kids and he all of a sudden doesn't think he should be helping with anything.

In May, I had to have day surgery. He told me he wasn't going to accompany me because I was a "bad wife and didn't respect him" so I guess I deserved not having anyone to drive me home after being under anesthesia. I actually had to sneak out of teh hospital and drove myself home! I was so upset, I called his mother in his country and told her about how he's been treating me. She didn't really sound like she cared but laughed it off as him "being a man". Still pissed I called the mother of his two older children to explain to her that I wasn't trying to keep my husband from taking care of his kids. She proceeded to tell me that she doesn't know how he came to the US in the first place because he had been arrested several times for beating her up. She finally ran away while he was at work one day and she was 4 months pregnant with her 2nd child! She then said that she feels even sorrier for his younger kid's mother now that she had THREE kids to take care of. At first I thought I heard her wrong but no - She had this baby in Feb/March. He left her in his country 2 months pregnant! She thought I already knew this as it was his mother that had been happily announcing to everyone in town. I calld his father, who lived here in the US and he said he had heard but didn't feel it was his place to tell me. My husband told everyone that he wasn't going to tell me because I "argue too much". Not only had I been sending money to "take care" of his ex, I may have even been paying for her pre-natal care! I then called his ex.... She told me that he told her this wasn't a REAL marriage and that it was only so he could come and work to take care of her and their kids. SHe told me the baby was a girl and that THEY (meaning her and my husband) hadn't decided on a name yet and she was waiting for him to make a decision on the name. She hoped it was be a "K" name to match the other two. She sounded surprised that I was upset given that she thought I knew this was only a marriage on paper. His mother is supposed to be arriving in the US in July and (of course) his ex will be moving into the home with her children and living for free and very well, I might add. They have a lot of land. When I confronted his mother about this, she tried very hard to make me believe that this was just an idea that came up and not part of some plan.

I confronted my husband and his response was "SO? I'm a man". He has also told me that I really shouldn't care if he is looking for other women or has a girlfriend - because he's a man.

I have found dating and adult websites that he subscribes to looking for women for 1-1 sex or possible long-term relationships. He states he is single and has posted his pictures. I have found emails and chat that he has exchanged with other women. He became very upset with me because I was upset with what he was doing. He couldn't understand why I didn't understand that this was just for fun.

Well, he has now been out of the house 1 week. He has apparently found a "roommate" with an apartment close to his job.

My family, at first, didn't want me to do anything vindictive, like, I guess calling USCIS. He has children to feed, etc,etc. But this morning I received a call from someone telling me that his mother is apparently telling people that I am such a horrible woman trying to send her poor son back home but that she wasn't too worried because she doesn't think I can actually prove any of the things that have been going on. She also said I was a golddigger and I was only interested in her son for his money!

So, this morning I went to my husband's job and drove off in the car I bought, in my name, that he drove. I then returned back to my 3500 sq. ft home and changed the locks. I will be driving my BMW to the immigration office on Monday and explaining to them why I am withdrawing my petition - right before I meet with my lawyer about getting an annullment. Unfortunately, for him, having a child born within 10 months of our marrieage is enough grounds for annullment. By the way, USCIS still hasn't approved his green card, so technically he's in a bit of trouble because they would have wanted us to go in for a second interview before approving his GC.

I know that most of the K-1 visa marriages are between two people who really love each other. But there needs to be more said about actual fraud and the lengths that people will go through to come to this country. Sorry to be so long in venting like this but I truly loved this man and would have given him my world. But all he wanted was my money and my citizenship.

Hope this help others who feel they may be getting into a similar situation. DON'T DO IT!!!

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423.

Please call ICE and alert them to his illegal activities so he doesn't harm another person. I am very sorry this is happening to you.

[Aztec&Taino 144]

Hope this help others who feel they may be getting into a similar situation. DON'T DO IT!!!

I am sorry to know that you had such a horrible experience. I am glad, however, that you have decided to move on and be without him. Divorce him, protect yourself (and your money) so he does not continue to take advantage of you. Best wishes, always.

[tan&tuyet 15]

REPORT HIS BUTT TO ICE AND HAVE HIM DEPORTED!! HE WAS USING YOU FROM THE START!! IT IS CALL FRAUD AND IT IS A SERIOUS CRIME. JERKS LIKE HIM MAKE IT HARDER FOR US "TRUE" COUPLE TO GET VISAS. I AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE GOING THOUGH THIS BUT REPORT HIM IMMEDIATELY CUZ IF YOU DON'T AND INS FINDS OUT YOU COULD GET IN TROUBLE.

[charity1214 3]

I am so very sorry you have had to go through all this in your life. But I apploaud you for being proactive and being strong in this situation. Very proud of you and definitely move forward in your process to stop the immigration process. K-1 and CR-1's are about true loving relationships and becoming "one" together in life. Again, I'm sorry you have to deal with this fake, but the sooner he is gone, the sooner you can move forward and find "real" love.

[patient2010 93]

Sorry this has happened to u!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

There was a post recently where people recommended changing the locks only to be told to check your state laws because he has "tenant rights" (not to mention you're married to him) and changing the locks isn't legal without giving him a key. He could call the police and they would make you let him back in, it's his house too.

Call ICE. Call the police and find out where you stand on locking him out. You also need to see USCIS immediately and withdraw your I-864. PLEASE keep on top of this too because there was a USC girl with immigrant husband who had the first interview, his GC wasn't approved yet so she withdrew the I-864. Two months later he got his GC in the post. It was a COMPLETE stuff-up by USCIS, she withdrew before the GC and they told her that she could still pursue it but I haven't heard since then because she let his cheating butt back in the house.

Make sure you tell USCIS about the new child that you didn't know about. Print the pages with him propositioning women. Any evidence you can get will be good for USCIS and also for ICE to show he committed marriage fraud.

Edited June 12, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[Mare-n-Tram 1]

Didnt you suspect anything when he was using a card to call and leaving the house? Have you seen the movie Phone Booth? Thats sign number 1 of fish business.

Im glad you are making the right decision but i have to say that i absolutely hate what your husband did to you and this country. It makes me sick that he would go that far to lie to you and take advantage of you. And now hes got his whole family calling you a golddigger, yeah right. You would wipe your butt with the money he makes. What a piece of human trash. I saw you destroy him so he will never come back to the US again. Sorry kids, but you have to pay for Dad being a #######, liar, fraud, theif, confidence man, and overall bad human being.

If i were you I would go middle-eastern on him and see to get his hands cut off so he can never work again. You deserve a real man and a real relationship.

anyone else who has any inclination of this sort of stuff going on before the marriage, please sign a prenup.

[Darnell 8,478]

Good for you, Kriola !

The fastest thing to do is to withdraw the affadavit of Support, I-864 form, via letter . Bring one with you for yer appointment on Monday. You can do this anytime prior to the green card being issued.

You can 'build a case' against him, it will take some time not only to build it, but for ICE and USCIS to do something about it. If they believe he's here, married to you, for visa fraud, they will come get him, deport him.

KUDOS!!

Edited June 12, 2011 by Darnell

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

I am so very sorry you have had to go through all this in your life. But I apploaud you for being proactive and being strong in this situation. Very proud of you and definitely move forward in your process to stop the immigration process. K-1 and CR-1's are about true loving relationships and becoming "one" together in life. Again, I'm sorry you have to deal with this fake, but the sooner he is gone, the sooner you can move forward and find "real" love.

I agree! I am so sorry that you had to go through all this pain. I applaud you for your courage, and for taking a stand. You have done everything humanly possible, to make this relationship work up to this point. NOW, you need to protect yourself and your assets. Good luck! Thanks for posting your story, as painful as it is, it is very selfless of you, to share it with us, in such detail to assist others. I pray for you to find peace someday and be able to find the right man who deserves you! Good luck and please keep us updated.

Thank you!

[Otto 83]

** Moving topic from K-1 Process/Procedures to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits.

[WaitingToExhale 3]

Kriola good for u! Men can be real #######! Dont mean to stereotype them all becos there r good men out there too but the good will always suffer for the bad...we live in a democracy...

With that said kriola do u mind telling me what country ur husband is from?sounds very much jamaican...

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Kriola good for u! Men can be real #######! Dont mean to stereotype them all becos there r good men out there too but the good will always suffer for the bad...we live in a democracy...

With that said kriola do u mind telling me what country ur husband is from?sounds very much jamaican...

Well you just did stereotype them. WOW!!!!!! He sounds just like any other nationality, who was/is trying to commit visa fraud. Hey he even sound just like some American men who just don't want to be responsible and take care of their family.

[WaitingToExhale 3]

I

Well you just did stereotype them. WOW!!!!!! He sounds just like any other nationality, who was/is trying to commit visa fraud. Hey he even sound just like some American men who just don't want to be responsible and take care of their family.

Well for a person who is critisizing my stereotypical ways u sure went right ahead and did it urself by directly singling out american men.a typical case of di pot an di kettle...

Anyways kriola i c he's from cape verde...which to be honest it does'nt really matter where he's from i'm sure it still hurts like hell but kudos to u girl for finding the strength to do what u have to and to share with us here in an effort to help...

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

I

Well for a person who is critisizing my stereotypical ways u sure went right ahead and did it urself by directly singling out american men.a typical case of di pot an di kettle...

Anyways kriola i c he's from cape verde...which to be honest it does'nt really matter where he's from i'm sure it still hurts like hell but kudos to u girl for finding the strength to do what u have to and to share with us here in an effort to help...

No, I just gave you an example, it could be anyone. If you had read my first sentence I said it could be any nationality.